The silence was so deafeningly loud when we couldn't hear each other's voices, when we were almost hiding in the corners.
We couldn't just become someone for each other, which is why it took so long to realize. So much time was almost wasted.
—
VIOLET
The last few days were different. Filled with sorrow and unspoken words.
As I walked through the corridors, I hardly heard anyone laughing, but I could feel it in my gut, as if even the walls, even the wooden floors, the paintings hanging here and there, were all imbued with an astringent, heavy sense of grief.
And for me personally, I felt awkward and tense between Draco and me. We avoided each other, and I couldn't look at him, but he and what had happened that day never left my mind.
At that time, I especially wanted to go home.
And even on the train home, I sat in a compartment with the student from other houses, persuading Kristen to come with me. Maybe it was ridiculous, but there was nothing I could do about it. I was embarrassed.
Maybe in a couple of months, when it was time to go back, things would have worked out on their own, because I didn't think it was possible to continue ignoring each other for a few more years. And I didn't think I wanted to.
"Violeeet..." I heard Mariel's melodious voice behind me and smiled. One thing remained constant in all of this, Mariel could make me smile, just by being there.
"You're late again." I turned to her, and immediately ducked into her warm embrace.
"Yes, I couldn't choose the color of the wig, sorry." At that time, she had very long black hair. Similar to mine.
"What are you trying to do, look like me?"
"Yes! I'm always jealous of your hair... you know that." She pinched my side, smiling broadly.
I knew that.
She never missed an opportunity to touch my hair and often joked about how I should cut it off and make a wig for her.
"Okay, it suits you. Can we go now?"
"Sure. Let's go. I can't wait to hear some news about last months."
—
"So, how was the tournament?" Dad asked as he sat down in the chair. I was sitting on the couch next to Mariel and twirling a mug in my hands.
"Not pretty good. The boy from Hufflepuff, Cedric, died." I didn't know him at all, but I felt bad about it. Unfortunately, I was more familiar with death than I should have been, and I knew what it was like to lose someone you loved.
I thought that from the moment my mother died, I began to perceive everything a little differently. Especially death.
It was hard for me to remember that day, but what was worse that I was beginning to have completely unsolicited and completely unacceptable thoughts about what had happened in the common room, a few minutes before Cedric's death.
"Oh, that's terrible. What happened?" Mariel's voice was shocked and a little drooping; she was looking at me questioningly, pinching her lower lip.
"I don't know. I still don't understand what exactly happened. But it happened in the maze." I answered a little evasively, not wanting to go into details, because I really didn't quite understand what had happened, but I did hear something. Something about someone's return.
But I tried to push the thought away, and hoped with a sinking heart that my father or Mariel wouldn't find out.
Father stiffened visibly and he and Mariel looked at each other uneasily.
"But have you heard anything about it? There must be a reason," He looked at me intently, then rubbed his chin thoughtfully, "Maybe it's not safe there anymore, and you shouldn't—"
"What?" I asked, looking at him almost pleadingly, "What are you talking about? Isn't this a common occurrence at such tournaments?" I looked fearfully from my father to Mariel, hoping that after all, everything would be resolved and they would not lock me in the house again. I was afraid to be in this situation again.
"Violet, darling, it's all about your safety." Mariel tried to calm me, stroking my shoulder.
"But why? Everyone's fine about it but I can't come back? Please, don't do it." Now I looked at my dad pleadingly and saw from his face that he was going to give in to me.
"Fine. But if anything suspicious happens, you will notify me immediately and return home."
"Of course." I quickly nodded my head a few times, and got up from the couch, heading to my room before he could change his mind, as he liked to do.
But there was a question in my mind,
"What suspicious thing could have happened?"
DRACO
One month has passed, and there probably hasn't been a day when I haven't thought about her, for some reason.
Violet was ingrained in me, flowed through my veins, took the place of a permanent guest in my head, she did everything so that I could not get her out of my head. Sometimes I even thought she was using magic on me, because it was hard for me to believe that I could be like that.
I kept coming back to her eyes... her icy eyes, which were burning with fire the last time she spoke to me.
I didn't even know why I'd kissed her. It was a momentary blur of mind and I just... did it.
And now I kind of regretted it. It was really stupid of me. I thought neither she nor I were ready for this, and now we weren't talking and all I could think about was her and her lips. Just like in stupid romantic stories.
I groaned inwardly as my index finger traced the small rhinestones that were on this... thing, I supposed was called a hair band.
It was hers.
She left it on the table in the common room after the Yule ball. And instead of giving it to her, I took it for myself and I also brought it home. I didn't know why.
I remember what she was like that night after the ball. Tired and sleepy, she still tried to prick me. She was looking at the fire, and I was looking at her.
Would she have agreed to go with me at the ball if I had asked her?
I sighed and shook my head. I didn't want to think about her anymore. I felt like I was becoming obsessed. And that was a horrible feeling.
I put the hair band back in the nightstand and went to the dressing room.
I was going to spend an entire evening at some boring official event with a bunch of pompous wizards, who spoke quietly, and laughed so insincerely, covering their mouths with glasses.
I didn't want to go there but my parents insisted, as they did every year.
Violet was right then. My parents didn't care about much other than our family's reputation. So, every time there was an evening like this, they would pull on their best outfits, along with terribly insincere, fake smiles, and pretend that we were the perfect family that only likes to "enjoy" such events. And so far, I had no choice to decide for myself.
"Draco! Come down. We are only waiting for you." I heard my father's voice as I was buttoning the last button on my jacket.
His tone was menacing and irritable, because being late was unacceptable.
So I hurried down the stairs, meeting their not at all smiling and not at all friendly looks.
And at that moment, I even wanted to quickly get to that place, to that event, so that they would quickly stop paying attention to me.
—
This event was held on the grounds of someone's large mansion. The sun was almost down, but it was still stifling. I wanted to unbutton my shirt, or at least take off my tie. But of course I couldn't.
Somewhere in the garden, musicians were playing an unobtrusive tune, that no one was paying attention to. People were scurrying around, dazzling me with their jewelry and cufflinks that glinted in the sun. The setting sun. Its rays painted everything in shades of pink, but again, no one paid any attention to it.
A few minutes later, the small lanterns that lined the paths turned on, illuminating everything with a dim light and then I saw her...
She was standing on the opposite side of that mansion's backyard, with some flowers around her, talking to a strange woman with light blue hair who I didn't recognize.
Her dress with one long sleeve reached mid-thigh and clung to her slender figure and I couldn't look away from her.
Even from that distance, I could see that she was smiling, and then she pushed a lock of hair behind her back, as she always did.
Her favorite gesture. Or mine.
Why was everything so complicated?
This girl attracted me as much as she irritated me. And I could say anything to her or about her, but I couldn't deny the fact that as soon as my eyes fell on her, I felt everything inside me fall. I was terribly bored and wanted to leave so badly, but seeing her, it didn't seem so bad anymore.
She did it again. She made me feel like a worthless weakling again, unable to control myself and stop feeling something like... warmth every time she was around.
And I didn't like it. At all.
I shouldn't have paid any attention to her. I should have put her out of my mind the first day I saw her, and now it seemed too late to try.
"Draco," I was distracted from my thoughts by a girl's voice and as I turned around I saw Adele, "How are you this evening?" She asked, tucking a lock of brown hair behind her ear.
"Pretty good." I answered blankly, turning back to Violet, and as my eyes once again reached her figure in the distance, I saw that she was looking at me.
I didn't really want to talk to Adele, probably planning on staring at Violet like an idiot for the rest of the evening, but the moment I saw her notice me, I wanted to try to make her feel something. Although it was absolutely stupid to expect that from someone like Violet.
"And how are you?" I turned to Adele, who was looking at me with narrowed eyes, probably realizing what I was trying to do, and I tried to smile at her in a more or less friendly way, but I didn't really care about it, I didn't care what she thought, or what she would say.
VIOLET
I was standing there surrounded by a million flowers, talking to Mariel, who'd decided to stand out and put on a light blue wig with bangs and a bright red pantsuit, to attract as much attention as possible, and I was just trying to have a good time, even though I felt out of place.
The shoes were uncomfortable, the event was boring, and my back was a little sore from standing for so long. But this was the first time I had been to such events and I was excited.
Mariel brought me here in secret from my father, and I was a little afraid that he might find out something. She said if he find out, we were both dead, and I knew that, but I hoped it wouldn't happen and tried not to think about the bad things, but every time I saw a man who looked something like my father, I tensed up inwardly.
What I really liked there was the unobtrusive melody of the orchestra, the many different flowers and the sunset — the sunset was so beautiful and colorful, throwing its orange-pink veil over everything and everyone, that I couldn't help but think about how the sun quickly sets behind the horizon, not allowing us to enjoy its set at least a little longer.
As the evening darkened around me, I caught a glimpse of small lanterns starting to light up along the narrow paths, and as I looked around at what it now looked like, my eyes fell on something familiar. Someone familiar.
Someone I hadn't been able to get out of my head for a month, someone who made me feel like a million little bumblebees were buzzing inside me. Draco was standing nearby, next to one of the pillars, his hands in his pockets, and his hair was a warmer shade because of the yellowish light from the lanterns.
I had assumed that he might be attending this kind of event, but it was still unexpected to see him.
He turned in my direction for just a few seconds, and then started talking to a girl. I knew her. I think her name was Adele. Or Adelaide. Or Andromeda. I didn't remember exactly. But she was a girl from the Yule Ball and she was a year younger.
They were smiling and I felt something not very pleasant, like I shouldn't have been there to see it. And I certainly shouldn't have felt like he was abandoning me, forcing me to watch their cute dialogue.
"Violet, who am I talking to?" Mariel snapped her fingers in front of my face; I think I've been watching them too long and too intently.
"What is it?" She looked in the direction of my eyes to see what I was staring at.
"Nothing, It's just people I know." I finally looked away from them.
"Great! Let's go say hello."
"What?!" Before I could do or say anything else, she grabbed my arm and pulled me toward Draco and his friend.
"Mariel! Please!" I tried to stop her but it was too late.
We walked over to them and she let go of my hand. I tucked my hair behind an ear and ran my hands along the hem of my dress. I think I was a little nervous.
"Hello! You know each other, right?" Mariel asked in a cheerful tone, and I just wanted to sink through the ground.
Draco and the girl nodded at the same time, slightly confused and she continued,
"And I'm Mariel Sombrey, her aunt." She held out her hand to shake. Draco was the first.
"Draco Malfoy." He lifted a corner of his mouth and looked at me. I tried to keep a calm expression on my face.
"Adele Wallace." The girl smiled broadly, showing her small white teeth and she looked Mariel up and down. "I like your hair, by the way." I couldn't help but roll my eyes.
Little toady.
Draco chuckled slightly. He was still looking at me for some reason and I didn't look away either.
The conversation between Adele and Mariel, the melody, the laughter, the clink of glasses and the click of heels on the stone paths, all seemed to turn into a slow-motion picture.
At that moment, it was just him and me.
His gaze was focused on me, as if he wanted to tell me something, as if he wanted me to understand something hidden deep in his grey eyes.
But I couldn't.
The silly game of staring ended when Mariel saw someone she knew and said goodbye to the two of them, leaving me there.
I felt a little panicked, not knowing what to do next, so I just turned my head to the right, letting them see only my profile. I should have just moved away from them, but I stayed for some reason.
After about one minute of awkward silence, Adele said that she also needed to go somewhere and we were left alone. My stupid heart started beating faster.
"So, you enjoying it?" He broke the silence. I still didn't look at him.
"Yes, I enjoy everything I can."
I heard him chuckle softly.
"You're not looking at me anymore. Why?" I was taken aback for a moment, but I didn't show it.
"Because I don't want to."
"Maybe it's because you feel something?" His voice was very soft at that moment and I swallowed hard, trying not to let myself fall apart in front of him.
"Should I remind you who kissed who about a month ago?" I stared into his eyes, seeing something flicker in them, for a second.
"It was just to shut you up." He rolled his eyes, running his hands through his hair.
"Okay. But you're very strange. First you pissed me off, and then you used this method to shut me up. Although you could have shut up at the beginning." I pushed my hair behind my back, feeling my irritation return.
"Yes, I could. But I just can't stay silent when it comes to you. You annoy me too much."
"It's mutual, Malfoy, and don't start this again." I was about to leave him when Mariel came up to us again.
"Violet, it's pretty late. We have to go."
I nodded and looked at Draco for the last time to see the stone face. Just his stone face.
"I guess I'll only see you at school?" He looked up at something behind me. And while he wasn't looking, I contemplated his face.
"Yes," I said curtly as I passed him, following Mariel. "Bye."
I both wanted and didn't want to stay with him a little longer.
And it was unbearable.