Medical information in my books are for FICTIONAL and ENTERTAINMENT purposes ONLY. They are NOT intended to be given to the reader or any actual living persons, NEITHER to be taken by any living person as any sort of personal healing, prevention, treatment or ANY type of medical advice.
If you are experiencing medical emergency or problems DO NOT refer to the medical information in this book. Please seek help from a licensed healthcare provider.
Thank you and happy reading!
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Dr. Creed Isaiah Gozar Del Russo
Ayon sa mga pag-aaral, ang malusog na puso ng isang tao ay tumitibok ng halos isang daang beses kada minuto. Ngunit pakiramdam ko ay doble ang tibok ng akin, ngayong nakatayo na ako sa dulo ng altar ng simbahan. Kahit na hindi iyon posible sa mata ng agham. Napalingon ako kay Pelocci, ang aking matalik na kaibigan, nang maramadaman ko na bahagya niya na hinawakan ang aking kamay. Naka-suot siya ng orange na dress, nakatali ang kanyang itim na mahabang buhok sa simpleng braids. Nakatitig sa akin ang kanyang mala-kapeng mga mata. She's my best-man. She's my only friend, We met long before I even met Jill. We found out that we don't match in bed, but we matched as friends, so, here we are.
"Chill ka lang Isaiah. Darating din si Jill." Nakangising sabi niya at bahagyang tumawa. "You guys are like perfect together, so there is no way that this day is unstoppable."
Napangiti naman ako nang marinig ko ang pangalan ng babae na pinakamamahal ko.
"I know, kinakabahan lang ako. Hindi ko pa nararanasan na makasal."
She squeezed my hand for the last time before she let it go. Huminga ako nang malalim bago ako tumingin sa paligid ng simbahan. Puno ng makukulay na bulaklak ang paligid at may mga pula at orange na tela sa paligid. Klairo loves flowers and lively colors that's why those two colors are our wedding motif. I am not complaining at all because all I want is to be married to her, married to Jillian Klairo Esperensa.
Hindi naman ako naniniwala sa pag-ibig o kung ano mang kakornihan, hanggang sa makilala ko si Jill. Her belly laughs, smiles, sarcasm, and funny comebacks swept me, right off my feet. I never believed in love, I was a believer of orgasms, hot fuck, and one night stands. That's all I believed in until her. Sex used to make my heart pump blood rapidly and enable the pleasure center in my brain. I didn't actually know what it feels like to have high levels of dopamine and norepinephrine, these hormones are released when you love someone. Those two natural chemicals in our body makes us feel, excited, alive, and exhilarated. These can actually cause us to have less sleep and less appetite. Kaya kapag in-love ka, ay halos hindi ka makakain o makatulog kakaisip sa taong mahal mo.
It is actually real and backed with science. Years ago, I thought it was bullshit until Jill. The moment she made me feel like that, I knew right away that I was screwed in a good way. At that moment, I knew that she's the one.
And so, years later. Here we are, at the church, about to get married. Lumingon ako sa aking pamilya, mababakas ang mga saya sa kanilang mga mukha. Some of our Doctor friends at the hospital were here. Marami din na nurse na kaibigan ni Jill ay narito. Hindi nila ako gusto dahil noong unang dumating ako sa hospital ay mayabang ako at mataas ang tingin sa sarili dahil kakalabas ko lamang ng medical school. So, I had to learn my lesson hard, dahil kada maliit na bagay ay tinatawag ako ng mga nurses kahit hindi naman importante..at dalawang buwan din akong nag-rectal exams at na-assign sa paglilinis ng mga nana at paghihintay na madumi ang pasyente upang ma-discharge sila. Instead of me, being in the Operating Room. Jill just laughed at me, because I really deserved it.
I learned my lesson, which is not to mess with the nurses ever again. They are just as important as the Doctors, and I was stupid to act all high and mighty. Hell, I learned to put an IV line because of them.
Samantalang si Jill ay mabait--she always is, to everyone. She smiles and shines them with her rainbow, kahit na pranka siya. That's the thing about her. She says whatever she has in mind. The nurses and actually, everyone in the hospital loves her because she's not only nice, she has empathy, and is easy to get along with. Which makes me realize how lucky I am to be with her.
I nervously paced on the aisle as I checked my watch. Kalahating oras na ang dumaan dapat ay narito na siya. My heart is actually beating with nervousness.
"Ivery, what if she changes her mind?" Kinakabahang tanong ko sa aking kambal. Madison Ivery is my fraternal twin. We don't look alike that much, but we have the same eye and hair color. I have a darker skin color since I like outside better than her. We have height differences because I am way taller than her. She caresses my arm.
"Hey, baka na-traffic lang. You know how it is." She reassuringly says.
"But we're in a province for goddsakes!"
Napalingon ako sa sakristan ng marealize ko na nag-swear ako sa loob ng simbahan. Napatigil siya sa pagsindi ng kandila sa altar at tumitig sa akin.
"I'm sorry,"
He just shook his head and walked away.
"Jeez, I know I am acting like a paranoid as--guy.." Napahilot ako sa aking sentido.
"It's okay, Isaiah. Don't worry, I understand..for now..just relax. Ikaw tong laging nagpapaalala na hinay-hinay lang sa puso dahil, ang dahilan ng high mortality rate ng Pilipinas ay heart-related cases."
Bahagya naman akong tumawa. The anxiety eases out a bit. She gave me a reassuring look for a moment before she went back to the pew with our family. The time had passed by again, narito na ang pari at ang mga sakristan. I checked my watch again. She is really late.
Pelocci caressed my back as I hopelessly sat down on the steps on the altar. She walked away and started calling the hotel..while my family is contacting the My family is calling the driver nonstop.
"Thank you, okay." Narinig kong sabi ni Pelocci. "I'll tell them."
Suddenly, the hope in my heart bloomed. Mabilis na lumapit sa akin si Pelosi at inalalayan ako na tumayo bago siya nagsalita.
"She's coming..the limousine already left the hotel."
I puffed out a breath.
My heart started to beat fast when the huge church doors opened. This is it, she's here. She was just late. The music stopped and the whispers started. My smile died when the chaffeur ran down the aisle instead of my Klairo.
He handed me a folded paper.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Del Russo. Inakyat ko po siya sa kanyang suite nang hindi siya bumaba nang halos tatlumpong minuto na. Pangalan niyo lang po 'yung nasa harap--"
Hindi ko siya hinayaang matapos dahil hinablot ko na ang papel sa kanyang kamay. Sari-saring mga emosyon ang sumasagid sa akin.
"No, no.." I whispered as I opened the paper with shaking hands.
Creed Isaiah
I am so sorry, I was just in love with the thought of being with you but in reality, I was suffocated and overwhelmed by everything. I hope you forgive me someday. Please, don't ever bother looking for me at all. Goodbye.
Jillian.
Nanghihina akong napaupo sa sahig hawak ang papel. Pakiramdam ko ay namanhid ang buong katawan ko. I losened my tie as I felt so, so suffocated. My heart is smashed into pieces.
"S-She l-left me," I laughed like a madman until my throat hurts. "She left me!" I said again, my laughs turned into a sob.
My family stood there frozen, actually everyone..because no one ever thought of this, ever going to happen.
"Jillian..left..me." Tuluyan akong napahikbi at nilamukos ang papel sa aking palad.
Pelocci sat down with me and let me sob on her shoulder. This was supposed to be the best day of my life, and it turned out to be the worst.
I gripped the crumpled paper in my hand as I threw it back to my desk. Napapikit ako nang sumagid ang kirot sa aking dibdib. Ilang taon na ang nakalilipas ngunit hindi pa rin nababawasan ang sakit.
I hate her so much. I hate that she still has that place in my heart. I hate that no matter where I go or what happened, she will always own a part of me. I hate that I still hold onto her, and hope that she comes back to me. I loathe Jillian Klairo Esperensa.
Huminga ako nang malalim at tumayo na.
I have to have a life. I can't keep doing this. I can't keep digging in the past and trapping myself even further every fucking night of my life. Hinubad ko na ang aking white coat at isinabit iyon sa hook na malapit sa aking upuan. Sarado na ang aking clinic. My assistant and the rest of my patients already left my small clinic. I am done for the day.
I stepped out of my small office and locked the door, kasalukuyan na akong nakatayo sa maliit na waiting area. Sandali akong dumungaw sa glass door, tanging ang mga streetlights at iilang ilaw na nagmumula sa mga tricycle ang lumiliwanag sa maulan na gabi.
I was three steps away from the glass door when a woman in distress, soaking in the rain carrying a child barge in the door.
My whole body went numb as I took in what she looked like..my heart went erratic as I stared at her familiar mocha brown eyes, her long dark straight hair is now brown and short. What the hell is she doing here?! Mabilis na bumaba ang tingin ko sa bata. She is shivering and her lips are pale.
"J-Jillian?"
Sandaling kumunot ang kanyang noo nang marinig niya ang pangalan na tinawag ko sa kanya. She looked genuinely confused.
"What h-happened? W-why were you in the rain?"
"Pasensya na Doktor, pero hindi po Jillian ang pangalan ko. Ako si Charissa, "She quickly wiped the rain water, off of her face. "Inaapoy ng lagnat ang anak ko, parang awa niyo na kailangan ko ang tulong niyo." Her voice was pleading. "Ang sabi ng mga kapitbahay ko ay gumagamot kayo ng libre...kailangan ng anak ko ang tulong niyo."
Wala sa loob na napatango ako at kinuha ang bata, kahit na sari-sari na ang mga emosyon na nararamdaman ko. Bumaba muli ang mga mata ko sa batang babae. Pakiramdam ko ay nahulog ang puso ko sa aking kalamnan.