Gerard;
I made absolute sure that I got to the front gates as soon as I possibly could. That meant basically sprinting from my last hour class to my locker, carelessly throwing my binder and folder in my locker (not that I cared any other day), and straining to run faster out the doors. I've been anticipating this time of the day since my encounter with Frank at lunch. It's not just for the fact that I have a pathetic infatuation with him, it's that I genuinely love being around him even if I have only known him for two days. His presence elates me, his smile is contagious, his eyes are hypnotizing, and lips are enticing. I cannot deny the fact that I want him. I've been trying to keep myself from flirting and sweet talking like I usually do, but it's just so difficult when all I can think about is him. I think about my lips on his and I think about him in my bed. That's when I'm horny, so, almost always. Other times, I think about how I'd enjoy holding his hand, hugging him, or even just being with him, not even in the sexual sense.
I look around, trying to see the dark haired shorty who's managed to catch my interest, no such luck. I can see Mikey, Pete, and Ray though, and all three of them are marching my way. Mikey and Pete look pissed, infuriated. Ray, well, Ray looks the way he always does around me: hurt, depressed.
"Gerard," Mikey seethes from between gritted teeth. "I swear on Elena's grave, if you even try to fuck with Frank, I will rip your dick off and shove down your throat."
"I'm not going to try anything," I lie easily, something I've become a master at. "He's coming over to take notes from Chemistry, nothing else." I'll admit, I did spend the last half of my school day thinking of ways to try to get farther with Frank. I don't necessarily want to hurt him the way I did Ray and Bob and all those other boys, I just want to get a feel of what it'd be like to be with him. His innocence is so enticing, his inexperience just fucks with my head, making me push myself to think of things to do. He can't be that hard to reel in, right?
"Yes, Gerard, because I find it simple to believe you when you say that," Mikey says, stopping my thoughts. I don't blame him, I mean, look at Ray. His head is bowed, refusing to look at me. His feet are shuffling, his hands are are fumbling. He's so hurt he can't even look at me. No. No, no, no, I'm not about to feel bad for fucking someone, I've never felt bad, I've never felt regret, I've just been the person that... thing made me to be. An exact replica of him.
"I promise, Mikes, I'm not looking to fuck him and drop him. He's just a friend," I inform him, looking away to try to spot the perfect boy. I realize that looking away is a sign of lying, but I'm anxious see him. Plus, no one sees through my lies, not that Mikey ever believes them.
"Whatever, Gerard," he says, sighing. He walks away, walking down the sidewalk with Pete and a very fast walking Ray.
"Hey, Gerard!" Frank shouts, running towards me. "I'm sorry I'm kind of late, my algebra teacher wanted to talk to me about the lesson we're doing, something about 'we started this before you moved here' blah blah blah. I already learned this shit, bitch!"
His colorful language kind of surprised me, I don't think I've heard him cuss, not that I can remember.
I laugh at his words though, quickly telling him it's okay that he's late. "My house isn't too far away, so come on, my car is in the student parking lot."
He nods his head a few times and follows me to my car, walking behind me instead of beside me. If he wasn't so innocent, I'd say he chose to walk back there to look at my ass.
The ride is really quiet. The radio in my car is broke and I keep forgetting my auxilory cord at home, so I can't use music to fill the silence. Well, what do you talk about with someone you've only known a few days? 'Hey, I wanna fuck you?' No!
"So, um, will you be able to give me a ride home?" He asks just as I turn onto my street. "My house isn't really that close or I would walk and save you the trouble." He sounds like he's scared to ask, like I'd snap at him and tell him I'd rather stab myself in the eyes than drive him home.
"Yeah, no problem," I answer, smiling a little.
We soon arrive at my house and I park my car by the curb as the driveway is taken up by both Mom and Dad's cars. I get out and close my door, opening the back one to grab my backpack.
"I like your house," Frank says, looking at the building that I've spent all sixteen years of my life. It isn't much, it's two stories with white exterior. The front door is wooden, the porch is fairly large, there's a garden out front, along with one out back. I don't know what else to explain, it's a normal house, but I guess I like it, too.
"Thanks," I answer, smiling a bit.
We both look at each other for a second, then we snap out of the daze and start to walk towards the house where we get met by my mom. "Hey, Gee, who's this?" She asks, walking to meet Frank. Before I can even answer, she's standing in front of him and asking questions.
"Um, I'm Frank," he answers, holding his hand out to shake hers, but she doesn't take it, she wraps her arms around his shoulders and squishes him into a tight hug.
"Are you, like, a new boyfriend?" She asks him quickly, darting a look my way.
"No, no, I'm just a friend, I missed chemistry today, and Gerard invited me over to get notes." That makes her smile more, the first time she really has at someone over brought home. When I bring home a boyfriend, she gives them a sad look, almost like a warning. When it was Ray, she almost broke down in tears, especially when Mikey told her and Dad what I did. She can't help what she feels when it comes to my habits, my addictions.
"That's good, sweetie, well, have fun with your notes, you can stay for dinner if you'd like." She gives Frank an extra sweet smile, showing her white teeth and putting crinkles on the edges of her eyes.
"Will do, Mom, we really need to get this done, there's a lot of notes," I say quickly. No offense to my mom, but if you didn't stop her or end the conversation yourself, she'd go on for hours to you. Dad used to tell me and Mikey stories about when they were in high school. He would tell us that she would go on and on about anything and everything to anyone and everyone. She was a social butterfly, still is.
So, I lead Frank up to my room, telling him that it's kind of a mess. "If I would've known yesterday that you would coming over to copy my notes, I would've cleaned up. I mean, well, yeah, I'm sorry." He starts giggling, his eyes crinkling, his hand covering his mouth.
"It's totally fine, as long as it's, you know, not like knee high in trash, nasty old food, and other garbage, it's okay," he says, and that makes me feel slightly better. I mean, the floor is covered in dirty clothes, a few fast food bags, some coffee cups from work, old homework, empty cigarette packs, and– fuck. Condoms. Used condoms.
When we make it to my door, I turn around, my hand on the knob, "Can you just wait here for a second?"
"Um, sure?" He looks a little confused, but if he knew how much I don't want him to think I'm a slut just like everyone else does, he wouldn't be. If this was just a guy that I brought over for a quick fuck, I'd let him see the person I am, I wouldn't care what he thinks.
I slip into my room, looking around. I grab the trash can I keep in here, which is empty, and start throwing all the stray condoms and trash in it, quickly filling it up. I throw clothes in the hamper and I messily make the bed. Is this what caring is like? Rushing to cleaning your room so someone won't judge you?
After cleaning up a big portion of the mess, I go to the door and open it, coming face to face with Frank. "Is your room okay now?" He asks, smirking a little, which only intensifies my attraction to him.
"I think so," I reply, smiling easily. So, I step out of the way and let him walk in. He looks like he's really studying my room, getting to know the area. He looks around my walls, at my desk, the floor, even the ceiling.
He nods his head a little and adds a comment, "Your posters are more fabulous than my sexuality." I almost choke on my spit. I didn't picture him saying that, ever.
"Well, thanks," I say, coughing a little to remove the sensation in my throat.
He smiles and walks over to my bed, sitting on it and removing his backpack from his back. "Alright, let me see these big bad notes," he jokes, pulling out a blue binder with the word 'Chemistry' scrawled across the spine in black sharpie.
I smile too and pull off my own backpack, opening it to retrieve my binder as well. After getting what I need, I drop my bag to the floor and make my way to the bed to sit across from Frank. "Really it's just two pages, but coming from someone who doesn't really take notes, that's a lot."
"Well," Frank starts, smirking again, "coming from someone who takes notes, that's about average." It honestly makes me feel a little stupid, I mean, I think two pages is too much to make us write in one class hour.
I just chuckle and turn my notebook to the first page, skipping over half-assed notes and pages full of drawings and sketches.
"I don't even know what we're talking about, but if you need help reading my handwriting, just ask." He nods and looks at the page, copying the heading onto his clean page. I just watch him write, looking completely concentrated and absolutely perfect. His handwriting is sloppy like mine, but neat in a way. He squints his eyes every once in a while, concentrating on something I wrote, then nods his head slightly and writes a few words down on his page before redirecting his gaze to my notebook.
"Gerard?" He asks, looking up and letting his pencil fall slack in his hand.
"Hm, yeah?" I ask, looking at his face rather than his pencil.
"What's that word?" He asks, pointing the eraser end of his pencil at a word that I probably can't read.
I crawl over, sitting next to him and looking the word he's aimed his pencil on. It's all connected in messy markings and running off the line into the word below it. "Oh, shit.. That's when I almost fell asleep. I have no idea."
"Almost?" He asks, giving me an amused look, complimented with one of his perfect eyebrows raised.
"Yeah, she saw me zoning out and yelled at me, so I struggled to stay awake, good luck reading the rest of it." He just chuckles and goes back to copying the notes. I didn't bother to move back to where I was, so I stayed next to him, moving closer to him occasionally. From the way he acts, he hasn't noticed my subtle movements towards him. I want him to notice, I want him to know I'm interested. I want him to find out what I'm doing. I want him. Now.
*~*~*~*
An update for you lovely people! I hope you like it c:
xoCrashFire