I instantly became relaxed when I saw the yellow farmhouse I knew so well come into view. The house was so special to our family, mainly because it's been in the family for four generations. The Ray family has been farmers on this land for many, many years. That was why I always felt the usual ping of guilt when I came home. But looking at the many acres around us, I relaxed before walking into the comforting house.
My legs immediately took me into the kitchen where basically everyone in the family always hangs out. All birthdays, holidays and any minor celebration was always celebrated right here. Avery was always cooking something up when she wasn't out in the fields with dad. Scarlett liked to bake, especially with Johnny. It helped that everyone lived in the farmhouse.
I smiled when I saw large vases of yellow roses on the table, which happened to be my favorite, because of my mom. She was ecstatic when I wanted to start figure skating and would take me every day to Omaha to train. On our many drives into the city, she introduced me into other forms of art such as classical music. Everything about her was fun and warm, she was the kind of mom everyone deserved to have. My dad would always have the kitchen be filled with yellow flowers, her favorite, and it would always make her cry. I quickly found a love of yellow roses and we would go into floral shops together. I haven't set foot in one since she died.
"Want me to make you anything special?" Avery asked when she came into the kitchen from behind.
Quickly wiping my eyes I shook my head to see her worriedly looking down at me. I've always been more sensitive than my sisters, and everyone knew it. When my mother died my sisters instantly stepped in and made sure I had a mother figure. They became more protective of me than they were before but losing a mom at nine years old, changes you.
"Are you okay?" She worriedly asked while wrapping her arms around me.
"Yeah," I nodded while looking away from the roses. "Just missing mom."
She pulled me closer to her, the perfume I've always loved, calming me. "Me too. She would've been so proud of you, and you know she would've been the loudest one there." I laughed as she gave me one final squeeze before pulling back and smiling. "So, what can I make you for lunch... some eggplant parmesan?"
"I had a feeling you were already planning on making my favorite meal," I said as she simply started laughing as she walked over to the fridge. "Can I help?"
"Of course you can."
We started working in a comfortable silence for awhile until a deep voice was saying, "Hey guys." I looked up to see Blaine walking into the kitchen with a smile. His brown hair was pulled up into a bun, something I knew Scarlett and Jesse always made fun of. He had really nice blue eyes that always reminded me of water. He was also super tall and was one of the nicest guys I've ever met. He for sure was the best person to have ended up with my sister. Ever since they had started dating forever ago he always treated me like a brother, and never made me feel left out.
"Hey babe," Avery said as Blaine leaned down to kiss her cheek.
"Mind if I help you guys? I don't want to butt in."
"Of course you can help," I said as Avery started giving him veggies to chop. "I mean you need all the help you can get."
Avery started laughing so hard that she kept snorting as Blaine instantly laughed while playfully nudging me on the arm. "Alright, alright. I get it, I'm not the best chef."
"I wouldn't even call you a chef," Avery said with a smile.
"Oh come on. The other night I made dinner for Jesse and your dad."
"Pizza you just slap in the oven doesn't count as dinner."
I giggled while looking between them, honestly missing them so much. "Anyway," Blaine said as Avery kept laughing at him. "Willow, who were those people in New York?"
My smile dropped a little as I remembered the way Ryan stared at me, exactly how he used to stare at me when we were little. "Oh uh, just people."
Even though I was angled slightly away from them, I couldn't miss the look that was exchanged between them. "Wasn't that the girl you used to skate with?" Avery casually asked.
"Yeah, Harper. She used to skate where mom took me in Omaha."
"Who was the guy?" Blaine asked and I could feel my palms start to sweat. I don't know why he ever hated me so much, always picking on me and calling me that dumb fairy name. He was the reason I was always so sad in school, especially when he started calling me fairy so soon after my mom died. And even though he bullied me, I always thought he was attractive. And that made me feel like an absolute idiot. "Willow?"
I quickly snapped out of my weird thoughts to see Blaine looking down at me with worry. When Avery came and stood next to him it felt like I was standing in front of my parents about to get a lecture.
"Didn't you go to school with him?"
I didn't reply before turning back to what I was working on while turning some classical music on my phone. Our friendly banter picked back up once Scarlett and Jesse came in, the kids following behind them. A little while later I watched my dad come into the kitchen before kissing everyone on the cheek. When he got in front of me he gave me a big hug.
"Mommy can we go to the park with Uncle Willow?" Mina suddenly asked as she clutched onto Avery's leg.
"Why don't you ask Willow honey?"
Mina was then skipping over to me, giving me a big smile as her brown pigtails were whipping around. "Do you want to go to the park with us today?"
"I'd love to Mina. Johnny, would you like to come too?"
Johnny instantly looked up when I called his name, his head bobbing up and down. He was then looking up at Jesse, who was smiling down at him. "Can I go Daddy?"
"Of course."
"I'd like to come as well," my dad's voice said.
We finished the meal together and all ate while laughing and reminiscing. Eating with family was something that I didn't realize just how much I missed it until I was around them. It was also times like this that made me feel guilty that I was away so often.
But if I stayed here, what would I do? I wasn't a masculine guy like Blaine and Jesse, who helped my dad here on the farm. I was never interested in the farm like my sisters were, and was pretty scrawny back then. At least now I have muscle from skating, I just don't have the desire. Blaine had moved in when he married Avery and Jesse moved in when Scarlett got pregnant. I know my dad loved having everyone here, especially now that he had two grandchildren. The farm was pretty big and the house was big enough to house everyone. At least I always knew my dad wasn't alone.
I looked over at him laughing and felt myself smile. Once we finished cleaning up from lunch, we all piled into cars and drove over to a local park. This park had been where almost every kid in Peach Cross came on the weekends. Since we lived in such a small city, there were only two parks. The one we were driving up to now was the bigger out of the two. It also held a lot of memories.
Mina and Johnny were grabbing my hands and running towards the swings. Once they were on I started pushing them, their giggles filling the air. I laughed along with them as we enjoyed the rest of the day at the park. Once the sun was starting to go down, we all piled back into our cars and drove back home.
"Hey Avery can I borrow your car? I just want to go swing by the store real fast."
"Sure," she said while throwing her keys at me. "Can you bring me home some chocolate?"
"Sure can."
Once I was at the local store I wandered in and smiled at how familiar and normal everything looked. I couldn't help but smile as I noticed some of the older cashiers were still there. It was really nice when some things never changed. They were still reading their gossip magazines behind the register, their lips still bright red.
My legs took me to the corner of the store that the flowers were in, happily sighing when I saw all the colored roses. I picked up a bouquet of yellow roses and slowly ran my fingers over the delicate petals. How I wished my mom was still here. To be able to hug her again or have her sing me to sleep, or to even tell me she loved me. She was taken far too soon and the grief was present every single day.
"Can't fairies go shop somewhere else?"
My body instantly froze when I recognized the deep voice behind me. Goosebumps were instantly forming onto my skin as I took a deep breath. Once I had the courage to turn around I looked up into the brown eyes of Ryan. He was wearing a thin white shirt, the tattoo on his right pec barely visible.
He had been a senior in high school when he came to school all proud with a bandage on his chest. Everyone had instantly flocked over to him, mainly because he was so damn popular in school. I had been standing by my locker when he had taken his shirt off and shown off the new ink on his skin. He never told anyone what it was but whatever it was, it only made him that much hotter. It looked like different colored swirls from far away but I think they formed a shape up close. I had never been close enough to see what it was, and I never cared.
"Please leave me alone," I whispered while holding the roses closer to my chest.
His dark eyebrows rose as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his basketball shorts. "Thought you were too good for Nebraska fairy, why are you back?"
I knew we had never been friends and it shouldn't make me upset, but that sentence hurt me. "I never said I was too good for Nebraska. Is that another rumor you started up about me?"
His face turned cold as he stared down at me. I then noticed a basket was resting on the ground next to him. My face lit up with a blush when I saw a box of condoms inside. There was also a bag of chips and a small bottle of Coke. He must've noticed my staring because he loudly cleared his throat, making me look up at him.
"Figured you'd be a prude too." I frowned while holding the roses closer to my body with a frown. As I opened my mouth to respond he said, "Oh save it you prude little fairy." I could feel tears sting my eyes as he suddenly looked down at the roses. "What's with the stupid flowers?"
"Stop," I firmly said. "Say whatever you want about me, but don't say anything about these."
It looked like he was going to say something but stopped. He was quiet for a few seconds before he asked, "Why?" He didn't look like he cared at all so I'm not sure why he asked me that.
My eyes traveled down to the roses before I said, "They're for my mom. I'm about to head to the cemetery. They were her favorite." It took me a second to make sure no tears would fall before I looked up. It actually seemed like his face had softened for a second before that mad expression came back.
"Save it for someone who cares," he muttered before grabbing the basket and pushing by me.
Trying to shake the interaction off, I took multiple deep breaths before walking into the middle of the store. I grabbed random bags of chocolate before walking up to a cashier. The woman smiled at me as her blue eyes got wide.
"Little Willow Ray. I just saw you on my television last night! Congratulations on the win."
"Thank you," I said as I handed her some money.
"Back home?"
I shook my head while saying, "Just for the weekend. I'm off to France soon actually. I just needed some family time."
"There's nothing more special than family time. Enjoy being back and here," she said as she was rummaging around in her register. I smiled when she handed me a peach sticker, something they gave out to little kids. "Just a little something for you to remember us by."
"Thank you."
She gave me another smile before I grabbed my change and walked out of the store. Once I was inside Avery's car I saw Ryan walking out, talking on his phone. He was actually smiling and damn, it really lit up his face. I waited until he got in his truck and drove off before I left the parking lot and made the short drive over to the cemetery.
After I parked I got out and made my way to my mother's grave. I sank down onto the ground while taking the older roses out. I replaced them with the fresh roses before wrapping my arms around my legs.
"Hi mom. Sorry it's been so long since I've been home. I want to be home more but honestly it makes me so sad. I always end up thinking about you and I know you'd tell me to just be happy. Man I wish you were still here." I wiped my eyes before looking up at the clear blue sky. "You know, I never realize how much I miss it here until I come home. And I never want to leave but being home is hard. It'd be better if you were here but I'm going to make sure I come home more often." I wiped some tears off of my face before taking a shaky breath. "I love you mom."
I watched the sky before starting to tell her all about skating and just in life in general. I knew she would be sad that I wasn't home as much, but I knew she would be happy I was actually accomplishing my dream. At least, I hoped she would. The sucky part about it is I'd never know for sure.