Jisung wakes up again and remembers everything. Panic rises, but is shot down. Chan and Felix are Heaven.
Jisung woke up yet again. He remembers everything this time. He had curled back up into Chan and Felix's sides and promptly fell asleep. How weak. He woke them all up, only to sleep the sleep that they missed because of him. That was selfish. He was so selfish. He shook his head and cleared his thoughts. The rest of the boys were gone, but he was in bed with the two he fell asleep with. He was all wrapped up in Felix's and Chan's arms. Their strong arms. It was comforting. So very comforting. Again, he thought, if this were what death felt like, he would die in an instant. He glanced at the time. 9:49, nice. He should get ready for the day, maybe see what he could fix for the boys for keeping them up with his stupid-9:49? "Holy shit, we're late!" Jisung thought in a hurry. He shook Chan, aiming to get him up first. Chan opened his eyes harshly, and Jisung immediately felt bad. Jisung bit his torn up lip. Chan took one look at his face and his whole body melted as he giggled and pulled Jisung into his neck further.
"We're okay Sungie, asked management to give us a day off and said with the circumstances that we might take more when and if we needed to. We're okay, baby." Jisung melted at the pet name, but looked and glared up into Chan's eyes, as if saying, "Why did you do that?" Which Chan laughed at again.
"We needed to make sure you were okay, Sung. We're really worried about you, you know?" Jisung felt guilty. Chan pulled his lip from his teeth. "Stop that," He gently coached. Jisung nodded and kissed his hand in a sudden breach of adoration and love. Chan smiled, and told Jisung to sleep more, and that he wants to talk later. Jisung nodded, he still felt mostly numb. I guess that was what that many tears, fears, and anxieties being repressed felt like. He would describe it as a friend that you had for years, when suddenly they are gone and left is a hole. You let that hole swallow you, and then you are the hole. That's what he thinks it is. Just a ginormous hole that he has become. Getting rid of most emotions, and then just leaving. He was expressionless, as he listened to Felix shuffle and pull him closer. He relished in the warmth still emitting from both boys. He felt like death, but was surrounded by heaven.
His personal Heaven.