WARNING: Events happen in this chapter which may be offensive or triggering to some. Read with caution.
Chapter 4
"Why is this so confusing?" I whined, delving my head into the book as though I could just get the information that way.
"I don't know," Marcel shrugged. "I was hoping you would get it by now." He chewed his pen and sighed. "This sounds bad, but maybe we should do these sessions even more?"
I lifted my head. "Even more than three times a week?" I cocked an eyebrow at him and he shyly looked off.
"Well, it's an option." His voice was gentle and I remembered his antisocial tendencies.
I dropped my pen. "You know what I think might help us out?" I sat up and turned around in the chair so I could face him.
He seemed confused. "Wh-What?"
I smiled. "Friendship! Ugh, I sounded way gayer than I meant. Oh, sorry, I forgot that that's an offensive word. I meant way too happy-go-lucky and gay means happy, to be honest, but yeah I'm getting sidetracked," I babbled. "Anyways, maybe we should get to know each other? I know that if we're closer than we'll feel even more comfortable seeing each other so often in a week," I shrugged. I looked at him and his green bug eyes peered back nervously.
"Um, uh, okay," he said, looking down at the book he'd been reading to me from. He closed it and sat in a chair opposite me. "Is this something where we ask questions?"
I tilted a head off to the side, but then brightened. "Oh! Great idea, Marcy, we should play 21 questions!" I smiled at him.
He flustered. "M-Marcy?" He fidgeted with his glasses and I shrugged.
"Seemed only natural to give you a friendly nick name," I explained. "Hopefully you don't mind how borderline feminine that sounds, because you can't undo that becoming your new official Aaliyah-approved nickname." I pointed warningly at him.
He only nodded. "O-Of course." He rubbed his eyes a moment seeming to come up with a nickname for me, too. I wasn't interested in him like that, but I'm sure that when girls say they like the "nerdy type" they mean even Marcel, because he was completely adorable, had a beautiful smile, and height is a turn on for a lot of girls; not all of them, but still.
"How about L-Li?" he stammered.
I thought about it and then tried to repeat, "Wait, Li Li, or Li?"
His eyebrows flexed a little but a sweet smile crossed his face. "I-I think I like Li-Li better," he nodded. I wanted to poke his dimple.
"What's up with your stutter?" I asked, maybe a bit too insensitively. "I'm sure you could have that treated."
He looked down in embarrassment. "Oh, n-no. I don't always stutter like this," he said. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to hear him add, "Only around pretty girls," but for the sake of our strictly professional, well, strictly friendly relationship, I pretended I didn't.
I nodded. "Okay, then." Silent pause. "So, Marcy..." I began. "How about question one?"
-
"What's your favorite movie?" I questioned.
He seemed nearly confused by me asking that as he gave frowned to himself. "I'm supposed to choose?"
I laughed and nodded while we walked through the halls of our college campus's interior. "Yep, that's how the game works."
He sighed heavily. "I... I think I'm going to have to say I enjoy almost anything mystery, or like suspense, you know? I like thrillers, too, but I don't like movies with blood and gore." He made a face and I only giggled.
"Why?"
He shrugged. "I just don't."
"So does the sight of blood make you sick?" I asked.
He seemed to have an inside joke going on, because he chuckled and looked down, shaking his head. "Nope.” Before I could question him further, he continued. “My turn," he denied. I rolled my eyes as he asked his question. "What made you choose Psychology?"
I let that question sink into my mind, squinting my eyes in thought. "I don't know... I guess I just wanted to learn to understand the human mind? What makes it tick and ways that it can be dysfunctional, I don't know," I laughed nervously. "It's a bit tougher than I had thought, though."
He nodded. "Yes, I struggled a little in the beginning; some of us just do which in itself is a great observation of human behavior."
I raised an eyebrow at him and couldn't help that I was sort of staring at him in thought. He noticed and then swallowed. "Why are you looking at me like that?" he asked in confusion.
I looked away and chuckled. "I don't know it's just like..." I then blurted bluntly, "Do you intentionally make people feel dumb around you?" I didn't know why I asked. I had high doubts of him actually doing so; especially since he's so sweet and shy. Even then I couldn't see him admitting to it.
"N-N-No," he stuttered and I only smiled to comfort him, leaning against his arm kindly (since his shoulder was too high above).
I laughed. "Don't get scared! If you say no I believe you." He seemed almost relieved as he smiled and I knew I would enjoy having him as a tutor.
He seemed perfectly kind and trustworthy.
-
"Marcel!" I exclaimed, running through a crowd of people, breathlessly almost. I was slightly panicked as I rushed to him when he turned at the sound of his name.
His eyes focused on me and he frowned in confusion. "Uh. Yes?"
I shook my head as I approached and grabbed onto him by his forearms. "He's a monster!" I exclaimed.
His eyebrows rose and he went, "Wh-Who is?"
"Harvey! Mr. Harvey!" I cried. "That bastard says we have a quiz on Monday, Monday!" I repeated hysterically.
"U-Um, just-just calm down, Aaliyah."
"I'm going to fail. Fail!" I continued, people staring at us. He looked around with ears that began to grow pink and I didn't have sense to care that I was actually embarrassing him.
"Why don't we go someplace calm and safe?" he coaxed, practically holding me against him as he moved us. I just walked while I mentally panicked. I had a D+ currently and who's to say this quiz won't bring me to an F?
"Why don't I get you a frappe at Starbucks and we can visit your friends, hm?" he said.
"They're not working today, it's a Friday," I corrected, shaking my head. "But I could still use the drink and it's probably what's best because I'm breaking down," I said, fanning myself.
"Alright, alright. I'll pay for it and we can discuss studying plans, it will be fine," he comforted, still moving us across campus.
"I don't know anything. We have three days, Marcy, only three to make me smart," I cried in misery.
"You are smart, Li Li, you just have a barrier in your mind we need to break down, okay, we'll figure this out." We entered the Starbucks I was famously known at. Marcel didn't even have to order me anything. Marcus said, "Usual?"
I nodded and took a seat while Marcel paid for it. I was stressing maybe too much but psychology was my major. Failing it wasn't what I wanted or what I needed.
"Okay, so what studying mechanics are you familiar with...?"
-
"Then I guess I'll make you flash cards myself, then," Marcel told me as he began to stand up and leave.
I slackened my shoulders and pouted, putting my hand over his to stop him. He froze and looked back at me. "No, you don't have to do that." I felt bad having him make them for me. I mean, I'm eighteen years old and it's honestly just taking advantage of him.
He smiled for me and shrugged. "I don't see why not. I don't do much in the day if I'm honest."
I made an indecisive expression. "Oh." He began to leave once again, but I stopped him. "Wait! Can you, like, maybe decorate them a little? No, scratch that, you don't have to; just use colors a lot; like markers?" I felt bad once again, but not bad enough since I gave him a pleading cute expression.
He smiled. "Sure. Got it." He still was trying to leave, but I shot out of my chair.
"Marcy?"
He moved his glasses on his face and nodded. "Yes?"
I shrugged. "How would you feel about going to a party tomorrow?"
-
I'd dressed pretty simple for the party. I had on a white tank top with a black cardigan and washed out blue jeans. I wasn't looking to be incredible looking. My makeup was basically eyeliner and Chapstick so that wasn't exactly complex either. I had told Marcel about where the party was and everything so if he came or if he didn't was up to him. I guess he doesn't come to these often because he'd seemed shocked to be asked and then reluctant to agree. If he did come, I'm sure I could try to show him the ropes of being social.
Until then I was going to be doing my own partying.
I’m not big on drinking, honestly. Especially since I personally just thought it wasn’t worth it. But for the sake of being in England and having a new start, I thought why not? Even more was the fact that I was so stressed. That brought appeal to the idea. So I drank. I didn’t see Zayn, though, much to my disappointment. I hardly even saw Lexi and Sasha. They were hard to come by.
An hour after the party started I had just finished dancing when I met a boy.
I was somewhat sweating as I fanned myself, finding the house to be even hotter. I wanted something else to drink and so I found a red solo cup and began to look around for the right beverage. I wonder if Marcel chose to come…
“I personally suggest you just try the punch,” a voice spoke from behind me. I turned around and saw a cute frat boy in his jersey with a charming boyish smile. He had brown hair and gray eyes.
I giggled. “Really? It’s like you were reading my mind,” I told him.
He shrugged and then stepped forward by me. He took my cup from me and I watched critically as he poured some of it into the cup. Even drunk I was still anxious to be served a drink by a stranger or by anyone, honestly.
I squinted my eyes at him and then he handed me the cup back. I looked down at it precariously and then back at him. I bit my lip indecisively. “How can I be sure you didn’t roofie this?”
His eyebrows jumped and he chuckled. “I don’t think you can. But if it makes you feel better I have some in my cup right now and you were watching me so closely I don’t think you could’ve missed it,” he explained to me.
I sighed and nodded slowly. “Okay, okay. I’ll give you that,” I laughed, drinking from it after a pause. I was about to ask him his name when Lexi popped up.
“Hi! Hi! Hey guys! Hey, girl!” she was slurring drunkenly. I laughed at her as she stumbled towards me.
“Lex, what is up with you?” I knew what was “up,” but still it was almost rhetorical.
Her tan skin was sheen with sweat, especially on her face. Her eye makeup was smudged in the slightest, but it wasn’t bad looking. I had to admit that I was jealous of her legs which (to be honest) looked really good in her cute shorts.
She had this strange, but adorable giggle that was in some ways the same as her sober laugh, just ten times heightened. “I don’t-I don’t know! You know what they say, though!” She then sang the title of “Blame It on the Alcohol.”
I shook my head. “Well. Lexi meet…” I trailed off and looked to the unnamed blue eyed cutie.
He grinned. “Louis.” He had a sweet and inviting name to match his sweet inviting personality.
Ally seemed pleased by the revelation. “Oh, hi!” she said in exasperation. She stepped forward and hugged him much to his shock. He seemed like a tree with someone as tiny as Lexi wrapped around him. “Why, you’re like warm.” She laughed. “Like-Like an oven!” She covered her mouth when she stepped back.
I had thought that I was pretty drunk, but thank you, Lex, for being the reason I’m wrong.
Louis was patted on the shoulder and while he was turned away I decided I should get Lexi moving. I nodded and grabbed her turning her around, gently. “Yeah, yeah, hon, why don’t you go find Sasha or something,” I encouraged.
She laughed. “Yeah, yeah. Okay,” she cackled, wobbling off.
I only laughed at her and then turned back to Louis with a smile. “She’s not like that when she’s… you know.”
“Sober?” he filled in.
I nodded. “Exactly.” I then added, “Oh, by the way I’m Aaliyah.”
“That’s a beautiful name,” he complemented and I couldn’t help but fluster and then smile back.
“Thank you.”
Talking with Louis had been fun. He was nice, smart and witty. He was hilarious, too, all qualities that I liked in a guy or honestly in just anyone. So when I began to get sick I was a bit disheartened. I blinked my eyes, tiredly, and felt that my head was banging.
“Ah, shit,” I murmured, feeling faint.
“What’s wrong?” he asked in concern.
I shook my head. “Nothing, nothing,” I lied through my teeth. I turned away from him, looking around for some place to sit or something. I nearly toppled over and Louis grabbed me.
“Woah, there. Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked again, putting my arm around his shoulder.
I laughed drily. “Nope.”
He sighed and then moved with me, taking me up the stairs. I felt fear build up in my stomach. I honestly really did feel drugged. I was tired, unfocused and almost paralyzed. I didn’t want to believe it, though. But how could I ignore the signs? I parted my lips to try and speak, ask for help or something, but soon I was alone in a room with him.
I mumbled protests that I doubt he even understood. I fell back on a bed and could see a blurry image of him above me. I couldn’t make out most of his words, but I saw his eyes look around, at the door, then me.
“I’ll check on you later,” I think were his words. “You just rest.” He took off his jacket and placed it over me before suddenly my head moved to the side to catch sight of him leaving me in there. Was he the one who did this to me? Was I even drugged? Maybe this was alcohol poisoning or something. I usually don’t drink like this so that might be it.
I moved my head to stare at the ceiling in peace. I closed my eyes and tried to breathe evenly and just sleep. More sounds filled my ears and I heard movement. My eyes opened with resistance as I tried to figure things out. I wondered if it was Louis and when I looked back at the door I saw someone different.
“Who are you?” I tried to say, but only humming sounds passed me. He looked around hesitantly and then moved towards me, rubbing his hands together. For some reason that action alone had set alarms off in my head. Who the fuck rubs their hands in any situation? I wished Louis hadn’t left me in here. He was nice, but I say he’d be a bad parent.
I tried to scoot over and I could hear the clinking of his belt coming off. I knew his intentions right then. It had to be drugs in my system and it had to have been him to put them in my drink. When I tried to scream or move or do anything to escape this nothing happened. The softest of squeals occasionally were made out of my panicked pants and my limbs wouldn’t really move at my command.
“No,” I managed to say as his pants fell down. He was on the bed and on me before I could even think properly. My arms would move and drag, but they wouldn’t lift. I tossed my weight so I could maybe roll off the bed, but I heard him laugh once I was on my belly. He turned me over again so I was front towards him again and could hardly see his face.
“It’s going to be fine,” I heard, looking at the door, wishing for someone to come in and help. The door in that moment seemed to just barely peek open in the slightest and I saw the edge of glasses maybe?
Marcel, I thought in relief. “Marcy,” I whispered, trying to reach my arm out to him. I couldn’t really see him and I felt like I was in a nightmare as the door just closed back up again and I found myself trying to speak his name louder and reaching further out. “Help. Please help me!” My voice was scratchy and numb and hardly audible and the predator on top of me looked at the door before laughing at my face.
I didn’t hear a word to come from him after that point. My eyes began to close as tears just gathered in them. At this rate with my body totally taken down I could only endure it. And if I’m lucky the ass hole will leave evidence so I can go to the cops, but I wouldn’t come back from this the same either way, I knew it. I swallowed harshly and tears fell from my eyes as I felt him unbuttoning my pants. I tried to shut it out. I wanted to be out of my body before it went further. I didn’t want to be present to it being ruined and vandalized. My pants were being dragged down and my panties were just brushed upon until all pressure on my body disappeared. I felt a rush of cold, but it felt better than him being on me.
I was confused and in a daze and wanted to come back to my body so I knew what was happening. As I did it, sounds came back first. I heard a loud voice, yelling and I blinked my eyes drearily of tears. I could only move my head even though I wanted to sit up. I think I saw two people, two guys. From where I stood one was on the ground sitting up with the other staring at him face to face, yelling. As my sight cleared in the slightest I could distinguish that he wasn’t sitting, but he was being held up by this guy and my breath caught in my throat when the one on top straightened out and then began to knee the guy’s head.
I rolled over in the slightest and then held onto the covers, clenching the fabric in my fists as I watched in anxiety. Yes, he was a perve and the other was my hero, but as I watched violence being taken out sob harshly I became scared. My hero was a monster himself, it seemed.
Between ringing in my ears I heard my attacker crying out in pain and I could barely make out either face from where I lay helplessly. I no longer wanted to see any more. I closed my eyes and heard instead their voices.
“I’m gonna kill you,” one said darkly making me shudder. “I’m gonna fucking murder you, I hope you know that,” he growled and I sobbed. The sounds of the victim screaming stopped and so did the sounds of him being hit. “Not today, though.”
I hid my face, praying he didn’t hurt me. I was hoping he would leave the room and he wouldn’t notice me or hear me anymore, but I heard his footsteps coming towards me.
“Li-Li,” he whispered.
Strangely the nickname comforted me. it made me think of Marcel and I really wished I’d imagined what happened earlier. I’d only known Marcel a week, but still I felt connected to him in a strange way. Weight pressed on the bed next to me and my sobs accelerated and I wanted to push him from me. I could only remember the dark tone of his voice as he threatened the guy and the anger in it. The murder. I tried to push him, but he gently grasped my wrists.
“Shh, shh, shh,” he said. “I’m going to help, I swear.” I didn’t stop crying. I just tried not to anger him. I cried harder when I felt his hands on my bare thighs, remembering how my pants only got so far off me. “I’m gonna kill him,” I heard him say again. “How dare he?” he spat making me cringe. Yet when he began to push the clothing back onto me he was gentle and caring. “I’m sorry to see you like this. I’m sorry for you to see me like this,” he added, placing a hand under my back to lift me up. My jeans were now all up and he buttoned them. “He’ll pay for this,” he continued while I still cried, barely. I couldn’t really see him due to my extremely blurry sight and having my eyes closed for the most part, anyways. I did see he had brown hair, though. His voice was too rough and deep for him to be Louis or Marcel.
His fingers brushed over my hair, softly and my shaking began to stop. I was still scared, but I was hoping he really had no intentions of hurting me. He did save me after all, right?
“Don’t worry about anything, darling,” he comforted. “I won’t let anyone hurt you.” his voice was lulling me to sleep. “Rest assured…” I felt slumber grappling onto me. “You belong to nobody but me.”
-
“Aaliyah…”
“I’m gonna kill you.”
“Aaliyah…”
“I’m gonna murder you.”
“Aaliyah, wake up, love.”
“You belong to nobody but me.”
When I was conscious I immediately tried to raise myself and then back away from whoever spoke to me. I could tell it was a guy and I hated that. My eyes met those of Zayn and they glinted with shock and relief.
“Aaliyah, are you okay?” he asked me, trying to place a hand on me. I flinched back and he responded similarly. “Aaliyah?”
My breathing began to shallow as I recalled everything from earlier. I placed a hand on my chest nervously, looking around for a trace of that mysterious guy who had saved me or the guy who he’d beaten. I ran my hands back into my hair, trying to calm myself down.
“Liyah?” he continued while I tried to stay calm.
“I’m fine,” I barely croaked. I sniffled, finding tears once again sprouting within the ducts of my eyes. “I-I’m fine,” I lied.
“Liyah,” he said and then I broke down. I began to cry all ugly and everything and I didn’t do anything when he got beside me on the bed and then pulled me into his arms. Even though I didn’t know him well enough and had every reason to now be incredibly suspicious of any man, I was so vulnerable and in pain that I didn’t question him. I didn’t stop him. I just let him hold me and tell me that I was going to be okay and I didn’t have to talk about it if I didn’t want to. “You’ll be alright, love.”
-
UUMMMMMM. Yeah, so wow. Lol. Sorry this update is so late guyyyss. Busy week, ugh. Busy everything, this just hasn’t been my month.
1. Marcel and Aaliyah? AREN’T THEY LIKE CUTE? I would suggest calling them Maliyah aww. More of them is definitely in the future.
2. Do you think it was really Marcel at the door or did she possibly imagine him? Tell me your theories! Of course I know what was really up with that, lol.
3. So the guy who, like, saved her…? You know what it iiizzzzz (as my friend would say).
4. Once again Zayn and Aaliyah afgnalfkladfls. For real do y’all know what to call them? I’m so ready to sail that ship lmfao. And maybe Zayniyah is a good ship name, but we can call it just Zaniyah whateverrr.
Okay I’m gonna end here because y’all know what happens once I start talking lmfao. Comment, vote, fan, and promote. I love you guuyyss.
Byyyyyeee.
- Angie Bear
BONUS QUESTION: How do you do studying? Flashcards always work, don’t they, like lets be real.