Hajime Iwaizumi's P.O.V.
"(N/n)" I whisper, slightly nudging her sleeping form.
I paused for a minute hoping she'd wake up herself but it was a fruitless venture. Waking up (y/n) Fujioka has always been a task, especially if you were doing it before lunchtime.
"(N/n), you are not allowed to kill me for waking you up." I grumble as I walk over to the curtains.
"Time to say hello to the world" I say loudly as I pull them wide open. I hear a small hiss and bolt for the door, knowing she's now awake and angry that she is conscious too.
After about 10 minutes of waiting around I hear some shuffling feet and then see a figure stand in the doorway to my room. She's wrapped in her blanket and scowling at me.
(Me casually writing 'G'day' bc that's what I'd say before realising this is set in JAPAN *face palms and deletes the word*)
"She's awake." I say, a small grin creeping up my face.
"I hate you." She says, her voice croaky. I nod my head,
"I'm sure you do (n/n). How much would you hate me if I told you mum is making pancakes as we speak?" I say and see her eyes light up a little.
"I hate you less now Haji." She says wrapping her blankets firmly around her and waddling downstairs. I smile a little at her antics.
"I don't know what to do with her sometimes Zilla" I say quietly looking at her in her tank. She just blinks at me.
"Yeah, good idea." I sigh and get up heading downstairs.
I get to the kitchen and see (y/n) eating her food with a small smile on her face. Mum is standing by the stovetop making more pancakes.
When (y/n) first came to stay with us after her mums passing, I was small. I didn't fully understand what had even happened but from the looks on (y/n)s, mums and Mr Fujioka's faces, I knew it wasn't good.
After the first few days I gathered enough courage to ask (y/n) why she was staying with us. Even back then she was shutting as much of her pain out from the world. She ignored my question and pretended not to hear even though I knew she did.
It took a long time for her to open up to me, to mum, to anyone really. And the trust and bond we have, I couldn't want anything more from her.
As we got older people asked if we were dating or if I liked her or if she liked me, all those types of questions. And even though I may have had a crush on her once or twice in my youth, I wouldn't say I have any romantic feelings towards her now. She's like family and I do love her, not that I'd ever say that to anyone. Especially not Oikawa, he'd take it in the wrong way and never let me live it down.
The doorbell suddenly goes off and I narrow my eyes.
'There's only one person who'd be here at this hour.'
(Y/n) and I share a glance and we pause,
Another ring, and another and another.
"Your house Haji, go and welcome the guest." (y/n) says shoving in another mouthful of food. I hear mum snicker under her breath.
I sigh and drag myself to the door, preparing for an insult to my ears.
I open it and would you look at that,
"Iwa-Chaaannn~" Oikawa beams and I groan,
"Oheyō Oikawa-san, do you want to come in." I ask and he quickly walks in and takes his shoes off.
We walk back to the kitchen where (y/n) has just finished her food and is helping clean up the dishes.
Oikawa perks up and grins when he sees she's still here.
"(N/n)-chan, how are you on this beautiful day~?" He asks brightly. I roll my eyes and laugh a little.
'He's not my problem now, have fun (y/n).'
(y/n)'s P.O.V.
"Thanks Haji." I mumble as Oikawa is giving me his trademark golden boy smile.
"I'm good thanks." I say nonchalantly to Oikawa, still salty that Haji just ditched me. His smile doesn't falter but the brightness in Oikawa's eyes flickers a little.
"So you leave this morning right (n/n)?" The setter asks and I nod.
"Yeah, I have to get back for uh- a thing." I say keeping the fact I'm going to the festival on the down low. I have a gut feeling that Oikawa wouldn't let me leave if he knew I was going out with a guy.
"Do you have to leave so soon?" He asks me, pouting like an absolute child.
"Why not stay a little longer? You could come stay at my place for a few days." He smirks and I roll my eyes.
"I told you Oikawa, I have places to be. And even if I was staying longer, I don't think I'd want to stay with you." I say and I hear Iwaizumi snicker in the background. Oikawa groans and I laugh a little, putting my dishes away.
"C'mon you big baby, come help me pack." I say walking upstairs and Oikawa following diligently.
I step into the room and grab a few things from the draws, putting them in my bag. Oikawa huffs and flops onto the bed, turning his head and watching my movements. After a few minutes I stop folding my clothes. Oikawa is uncharacteristically quiet and it's beginning to make me suspicious. I turn around sharply and meet his eyes.
An unsettled feeling begins to rise in my stomach but I can't look away. He keeps staring me down and he runs his tongue over his lips before sighing and looking at the roof.
"Why do you have to leave me (y/n)..." he whispers, his voice serious and cutting into the quiet atmosphere of the room.
"And why.....why do I want you to stay so badly." He finishes, turning his head again and looking at me directly.
I look to the ground and shrug my shoulders. The feeling in my stomach increases.
"Oikawa-"
"-Tōru, you said you'd call me Tōru when it was just us." His voice goes low and my heart gets faster.
"I-I don't know-" I say glancing across his face.
"Please." He says, his voice as soft as I've ever heard it.
"I just want to hear you say it to me, I want to hear what it would be like if...." His sentence piters out and he rubs his hand over his face.
"If what?" I ask quietly.
He sighs again and I wonder if asking that was a bad thing. Something inside tells me I need to know the answer though, so I wait.
He moves into a sitting position and rakes his hands through his hair.
"If, you know.... ugh." He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly,
"I want to know what it would be like if we were together, as a couple. Just this once." He says and his eyes lock with mine, he looks small. He doesn't look sure about himself, his mask has fallen for me.
Something like guilt pools inside of me making my chest tight and my stomach churn. I may have liked Oikawa in the past, but that's it. It was the past.
Breaking that to him however is not an easy task.
I open my mouth and meet Oikawa's eyes once again,
"Look, you know I like someone else, I'm not going to pretend I don't. I don't want you to get your heart attached to something like this when it probably won't end up the way you want it to." I take a breath and continue,
"You're my friend, and I love you like that. You know that too. I don't want to see you get hurt, ever, and I'm just trying to protect you, okay?" My voice gets softer,
"Don't get attached to something that isn't yours. Please Oikawa."
His lips turn into a firm line and he looks at the roof again.
My chest is tight, I said the truth but it doesn't mean it didn't hurt me a little too. I know Oikawa and I know how he feels, it's all or nothing with him. His heart is already invested in me, I just wish I realised sooner so I could tell him to back off.
I hear him sigh, he rubs his hands on his thighs and has his gaze firmly on the floor.
He looks closed off gain, his walls and mask in place now. It's a similar look that he gets when he loses an important volleyball match.
'What's the bet he's going to smile that horribly fake smile in a minute.' I think to myself as I put the last of my clothes in my bag.
I hear footsteps outside the door and look up to see Haji standing in the doorway. His eyes quickly shifted from myself to Oikawa and back. Oikawa -as I predicted- is back with his smile planted firmly on his face.
"Hey Iwa-chan, what's up?" He says in a bright tone that doesn't match his eyes. My gut feels turbulent. I hate when he does this and I feel worse knowing that I was involved.
Haji -knowing there's something wrong that isn't being talked about yet- plays along with Oikawa and makes small talk. I zone out quickly, the gross feeling inside me making me feel even more awkward and annoyed at myself.
I stand up and both the boys eyes go to me, I keep my eyes down,
"Excuse me" I mutter and walk downstairs quickly.
As soon as I leave the room my eyes sting with tears that I hold back firmly. I go to the kitchen and grab a glass of water. Iwaizumi is sitting just outside reading a newspaper. I go out to her and huff as I sit down.
She keeps reading for a while before slowly dropping her paper and looking at me.
"I'm guessing something happened aye?" She says softly and I sigh before nodding.
"(Y/n) you know how messy life is, I know you do. But everything works out in the end. It might not be how we think it would have ended or should have, but it works out. We just have to be patient. Especially when Oikawa is involved." She says smiling a little.
I nod. I know she's right. I do. I just wish it was easier sometimes.
"Now," she says standing up.
"We better get moving so you can go to that important thing back home." She says grinning and putting air quotes around my words.
I raise an eyebrow.
'She couldn't possibly know about the date, could she???'
Then again, a mother's intuition is never wrong.
~Back a few minutes~
Oikawa's P.O.V.
"-Tōru, you said you'd call me Tōru when it was just us." I say my voice low and quiet.
"I-I don't know-" She says looking at me.
"Please." I say softly.
"I just want to hear you say it to me, I want to hear what it would be like if...." I rub my face with my hand. She still sits there waiting so I ignore the tightness in my chest and finish,
"If, you know.... ugh." I take a deep breath and slowly let it out,
"I want to know what it would be like if we were together, as a couple. Just this once." I say. My stomach is twisting and my hands are hot. But my heart is electric with hope. I let down my guard and let her see me, truly see me.
Her expression shifts and she lowers her gaze. Her hands fiddle with the clothes in her palms. She opens her mouth and speaks,
"Look, you know I like someone else, I'm not going to pretend I don't. I don't want you to get your heart attached to something like this when it probably won't end up the way you want it to." She says softly but strong. Her eyes still locked into mine,
"You're my friend, and I love you like that. You know that too. I don't want to see you get hurt, ever, and I'm just trying to protect you, okay?" Her voice gets softer,
"Don't get attached to something that isn't yours. Please Oikawa."
My heart sinks in my chest.
Part of me wants to forget how I feel about her, wants to move on.
Another tells me I could never forget her that she's the one and I have to fight. I was stupid before. I didn't see how much she meant to me before she was gone. I can't just let her go.
But,
She doesn't seem to want me...
I take a breath and my face tenses. I look towards the feeling again and refuse to look at her. I clench my fist. Questions and voices circle in my head.
'I want to get attached to you. I don't want to be with another mindless fan girl. I want you (y/n), so why am I not good enough?" My brain screams at me. But my mouth stays shut.
Iwa-chans footsteps shake me back into reality and I put on a smile.
"Hey Iwa-chan, what's up?" I ask cheerfully and his eyes dart between (y/n) and myself.
He shakes his head and walks further into the room,
"Not much, I was wondering what you both were up to."
(Y/n) is completely engrossed in packing her things so I give Iwa a smile,
"Just talking a bit, that's all." I say but my throat feels tight again.
He gives me a questioning look but doesn't pursue it further.
"Mattsu texted me asking what time you wanted to meet up for the study session on Monday." He says, changing the topic.
I groan a little and lay down on the bed again.
"I don't know, you can figure it out. Just make sure it's not anytime after practise." I say and he nods.
(Y/n) suddenly stands up.
"Excuse me" she says her voice tight. She hurries out of the room and down the stairs.
'She was close to crying you idiot. Why did you bring that subject up in the first place?!?'
I sit up again and stare out the doorway.
I can feel Iwas sharp gaze on me and after a few seconds I turn to face him.
"What." I say bluntly.
"That's exactly what I was going to ask you." He counters, his voice steely.
I groan, flopping back down on the bed.
"Oikawa. What happened?" He persists and I sigh deeply.
"I may have... told her partly of how I felt towards her." I say slowly while looking at the roof.
"That was a pretty dumb thing to do right before she's leaving. And, it would have been better to talk to me first. I could have saved you the time in figuring out she's not into you." He says and I cringe a little about how blunt his words were.
"Okay, It was bad timing, I'll admit. But! How was I meant to know she didn't like me romantically?" I defend myself.
"And anyway. Last time she did like me like that, I didn't know before it was too late. I had to ask her because if she liked me too then you know... we could be together..." I say, my voice going quiet at the end.
"Fujioka isn't easy to read when it comes to her feelings for you, yes. But you should have asked me first and then she wouldn't have been hurt." Iwa says and I feel like I just got punched in the gut.
'Yeah, you hurt her. You hurt her, no wonder she doesn't want you.'
I swallow harshly.
Iwa isn't always this blunt with me, especially with my love life. He usually stays out of that. But (y/n) is like his family and he knows he's allowed to say all he wants at this point.
I look over to him,
"So what do I do now?" I ask, my voice small.
"Think about what she said then decide if you should stay or move on. This isn't just about your feelings Oikawa. This is about hers too. Okay?" He says and I nod.
I smile a little,
"For being younger than me you're being pretty insightful Iwa."
He gives me a small grin,
"I'm just not stupid trashykawa."
Hajime Iwaizumi's P.O.V
I walk down the stairs heading towards the kitchen. My hand runs through my hair, thoughts tumble and turn inside me,
'Why are you such an idiot Oikawa?'
'You're just gonna hurt yourself and (y/n).'
'Why do you have to go after (y/n) now of all times??'
I groan and open the fridge, scanning its contents before shutting it again and walking to the window.
Outside I can see mum and (y/n) sitting there. Mums reading and (y/n) is looking off into the garden like one of those dramatic cliché manga moments.
I grin a little bit.
"Even though all that just happened she looks pretty normal. Typical (n/n) anyway, normals a stretch." I say quietly and go back to the fridge, opening again and seeing everything the same.
Oikawa's footsteps echo down the hallway and I look up at him.
He avoids eye contact with me and his gaze is locked on the window, or more specifically, whos out there. He sighs and sits down on the floor.
I shut the fridge.
"You gonna be a pouty all week? We've got training and we don't need you more distracted than normal." I say crossing my arms and looking down at him.
He shrugs,
"Let me grieve Iwa-chan." He states, sliding down so he's now flat on the floor.
"Drama Queen." I grumble, poking his side with my foot.
The backdoor slides open and mum walks in. Oikawa hurriedly jumps up and composed himself only to relax when he doesn't see (n/n) with her.
Mum raises an eyebrow,
"You boys better not be causing mischief." She says, her eyes locked onto Oikawa's. He stuffing under her gaze.
'Mum doesn't want (y/n) to be hurt and she's definitely going to give me an ear full if Oikawa does anything to her.' I think, internally groaning at how impulsive Oikawa's actions can be.
She soon disappears through the doorway and it's the two of us left alone again.
"You're mums nice Iwa, but damn, I think she'd give the coach a run for his money on the intimidation factor" he sighs.
"Just be glad she has to go into work today or you'd be getting a lot more than a look." I say quietly, making sure mums bat hearing doesn't pick up on us talking about her.
"What's up cheese sticks?" (y/n) says, walking through the door and into the kitchen.
'At least she's being normal' I think watching her grab an apple and bit into it. She faces me,
"What tfime are we leffing?" She asks, her mouth still full of food.
"Whenever you're ready I guess."
She nods and walks up to her room. Oikawa sighs, standing up properly again.
"Maybe her being away again will help you know, move on..." he says mostly to himself.
I consider this,
Oikawa might move on, however knowing his stubbornness and previous examples of him choosing to peruse things or let them go, I doubt he'll change much in her absence.
A/N:
I am officially on summer holidays now and even though I have more time to write, I'm just too stupid to do so.
HOWEVER this chapter holds a little hope, and hope is all we need in the end.
I am aware this ones a little shorter than the last few (I hadn't noticed how big they've gotten @-@ ) but I do have something planned for the next chapter that I hope you all will enjoy.
As always, I wish you all well and if you're not just hold on a little longer, things change in the strangest ways in the strangest moments.
Look after yourselves!
Slow to update Author out <3