Ameerah
It definitely felt good to be home after being away for a couple of months. I couldn't tell if I was homesick when I was in college but me being locked in my room right now tells the story.
Ever since I touched down a couple of my old "friends" been hitting me up asking me to link with them. I wasn't sure if I wanted to reconnect with them because most of them are down a path I just got out of.
While I was lost in my thoughts my mother knocked on my door.
"Come in." I said.
She came in and asked "So how does it feel to finally be home?"
"It all feels the same to me." I said shrugging my shoulders.
"Ameerah." She said folding her arms.
"What ma?! How you mad at me because I feel like that?" I asked.
I swear she be tweaking sometimes.
"Whatever. I'm about to go so I can get this shit for thanksgiving." She said.
She was really mad as hell for no reason.
"Wait ma." I said.
"What?" She asked.
"Dad still hasn't called or nothing?" I asked kind of hopeful.
I said it once and I'll say it a thousand times. I know ever since my overdose our relationship has been rocky but I really didn't expect him to abandon me at a time like this. I started a new chapter in my life and I wish he was here to see it.
I was hoping he would come around and see how I was doing for thanksgiving. That's what I'm hoping for...
She sighed and said "No Ameerah. I haven't heard anything from him. When I do you'll be the first to know okay?"
I shook my head okay as she walked out my room. It lowkey sounded like I was begging but that's just how much I miss him. I don't know what I would do if he actually left my life.
My phone started to ring.. It was Odell.
"What you want?" I asked.
"Damn I can't call to see if you made it home or not?" He asked.
"Nah. Not until you ready to come clean." I said.
He scratched the back of his head and said "Man come clean about what Ameerah? I ain't do shit."
"Alright Odell. Is that all you wanted?" I asked.
He sighed and said "Yeah man."
"Ok. I'll talk to you later." I said.
Before I could hang up Duke jumped in our conversation and said "Oh so you can answer his calls but not mine."
"Damn my bad.. Did Odell fuck his ex and lie to me about it?" I asked sarcastically.
"Yeah that's what I thought. I'll call you later Odell." I said.
"Wait!" Duke said.
"What." I replied with an attitude.
"How long you gone be mad ma? I can't take this treatment from you. I need attention." He said.
"Well go get it from somebody else... like Eisha." I said rolling my eyes.
"Come on man." He said.
"I don't wanna talk to you anymore Duke. Where Ryan at?" I asked.
"I'm right here sis." He said taking the phone.
"Damn am I the only one who went home?" I asked.
"Yup." He said.
"Y'all staying down there for thanksgiving?" I asked.
"Yeah we was just gone chill but we got invited to yo friends little gathering. They said something about friends-giving." He said.
One thing about Summer and Kelsey is they gone be in them niggas faces.
My thing is nobody thought to tell me anything. Again. I was really getting sick of being out the loop.
"Oh... for real? Who all gone be over there?" I asked not really caring.
"Yo two homegirls and a few of our homeboys." He said.
"Before you say anything ma." Duke said. "I told them not to invite you."
"Why?" I asked with an attitude.
Cause who the fuck is he and why they listening to him?
"Because I knew how much you wanted to go home and spend time with ya ma.. maybe see ya pops too. I didn't want us to get in the way of that." He said. "We can always do it again next year."
Okay... that made sense a little bit.
"I guess." I said.
"You not mad right?" He asked.
"I guess not. Y'all straight." I said.
There was a knock at my door interrupting our conversation.
"Look Ima call y'all later on this week and see how this friends-giving thing went." I said.
"Aight. Text me back ma." Duke said.
"I'll think about it." I replied and hung up.
"Come in." I said.
The door opened revealing a childhood friend of mine, Malik.
"Oh wow. Is that Mj?" I asked sarcastically.
"The one and only. Come show a young nigga some love." He said with his arms out.
I got off my bed and gave him a hug. He looked good especially since the last time I seen him.
"The last time I seen you was behind a glass window. How you been?" I asked.
"Man I know. Shit crazy how one dumbass decision can get you fucked up for life." He said. "I been straight though man. I'm living."
"That's good. I'm glad to hear you good. I was worried they was never gone let you out." I said.
"Nah you know that shit ain't happening." He said smiling.
Three or four years ago Malik killed his best friend but with good reason. Josh tried to set Mj up over some petty drugs. He figured if he could take him out then he can take his corner too. Too bad Mj got to him first.
They couldn't prove that Malik did it so they had to drop the murder charge and give him something that would stick. So they sentenced him to 1-2 years on gun charges.
"So shawty what's been going on witchu?" He asked.
"Wellll I'm in college but I'm living on campus this time. I'm only home for thanksgiving break." I said.
"Oh word? Momma finally let you go huh?" He asked.
"Yup after all this time I finally convinced her. It took me a whole year to be exact but I'm finally free." I said.
"Shit that's wassup. What school you at?" He asked.
"LSU." I said.
"Ole fancy ass." He said laughing. "I'm proud of you though. When I heard what happened to you man I wanted to call you so bad..."
"Them clowns wouldn't let me have no phone calls or nothing. I still feel fucked up about not calling you to see how you was doing man. I'm sorry." He said.
"Aww Mj it's ok seriously. As soon as it happened I was on suicide watch for a week and momma took my phone." I said. "Well she took everything."
"They was watching yo ass like a hawk wasn't they?" He asked joking.
"Hell yeah." I said laughing.
There was silence before he spoke again.
"But what made you do that shit? Like on some real
shit I thought you was gone." He asked.
"I swear it was an accident." I said. He looked at me like my answer wasn't enough.
"Ok look, I was going through a lot of shit.. some really fucked up shit and you know I had a drug dealing boyfriend." I said.
"Right..." He replied.
"So I turned to him but he didn't give a fuck. He just pushed drugs through me and I took em because it took away the pain for a little bit." I said.
"One day I had a rough day shit wasn't going good you know? It started off with one pill.. which turned into three and then six and so on and so on until I finally passed out." I said.
"I'd never taken more than five a day so of course my body reacted." I said.
"Damn man. I'm sorry you went through that shit twin." He said.
"Yeah and after it happened my dad stopped coming around completely. I don't know what happened before that made them break up but I knew I was the reason he stopped coming to see us." I said.
"Damn. You know I never met ya pops either? Shit crazy I was around here all the time." He said.
"Yeah I know. I'm tryna get him to come for thanksgiving so maybe you can meet him then." I said.
"Oh word? Say less. I ain't got no plans anyway my momma outta town." He said.
"Okay bet." I said.
"You don't have no plans for today?" He asked.
"Nope. Not that I know of." I said.
"We should go out then." He said.
"And do what?" I asked.
"How bout I get us a room to chill in for the day and we go sightseeing in the city tomorrow." He said.
"We can go window shopping too and if you see anything you want let me know." He added.
"That sounds good.. great actually but I can't ask you to buy me anything." I said.
"Girl we been best friends since we was little. You like my little sister so if you want something ima get it." He said.
"Alright..." I said.
"Aight? Put my number in ya phone and I'll be back later on to get you." He said.
"Okay." I said.
I went downstairs to walk him out and seen my mom watching tv in the living room.
"So.." She said sipping her wine. "How is he?
"He's fine mom." I said.
"Well that's good." She said.
"Yeah.. we got plans tomorrow so I won't be back until the weekend." I said.
"What? Where are y'all going?" She asked.
"He's getting us a room and we're going sightseeing." I said.
"A room?! No I don't think so. You'll be here with me prepping for Sunday." She said.
"No i'm not mom. I just told you that I have plans. I'll be back Saturday." I said.
She stood up and said "You gone put me to the side to fuck some little boy you barely know?!"
"Excuse me?! Momma you way outta line." I said. "And you need to back up out of my face."
"And if I don't?" She asked.
I don't understand the sudden change in her behavior. The attitude, the cussing, and now she's trying to bully me into staying here with her. She's starting to become toxic.
"Mom I know I still live under your roof and I'm still your child but I'm not gonna take no disrespect from you. Especially when your way off. It's not even like that." I said.
"Girl you might as well get yo shit and go." She said.
I walked to my room and didn't say anything else. I was gonna take her suggestion and leave before I said something I was gonna regret.
I pulled out my phone to call Mj.
"Yo." He said.
"Hey I know you just left but can you come back and get me?" I asked.
"Yeah. Is something wrong?" He asked.
"It's nothing major. My mom just tripping.. hard." I said.
"Aight well I'll be back over there in a little bit." He said.
Before I could say okay my mother barged into my room.
"I'm tripping?! Little girl don't forget who took care of you after you almost died." She said.
"You saying that like it's not your job or something!" I said.
I sighed and said "I'm confused. Where is all this sudden animosity coming from mom?"
"...Just make sure you pack all your shit up and have Malik take you back to school while you at it." She said leaving the room.
"Did you hear all that?" I asked rubbing my forehead.
"Yeah man. I'll be there in 10." He said.
"Okay.." I said and hung up.
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