Mariana's POV
It was second to last period and this was the perfect class to do it in. Math.
I entered the classroom as everyone was bustling around to get ready for the test. I had no worries though. I had everything written out.
I collectively sat down and grabbed some school supplies I would need for the test.
I heard the bell ring as Mr. Thompson quieted the freaked out class. I being the only student who was less of that.
He explained the test rules, number of points it was and how it made up this amount much of your grade, drop the lowest test score at the end of the term, scantrons and how to write you name clearly and bubble in the letter correctly, what kind of pencil to use, don't write on the actual test, turn in scratch paper at the end of the test to his front desk, phones away, yada yada. The usual crap they always say.
And lastly, no cheating.
Then came the actual tests he passed out. I received mine as I looked it over. I knew every single answer. I had studied and this was a topic I was good at. I could easily ace this test. But I had different plans in mind.
I began bubbling in some letters. They were the correct answers but this whole scheming thing was starting to catch up to me now.
I began growing nervous. Not out of not knowing the answers, but cheating my way through.
I was debating if I should just drop the idea all together. But how else would I tell moms? I needed to do this. Go through with it.
I carefully lifted up a bit of my shorter skirt revealing what was underneath. Not the cuts, but the writing on my skin. The answers that would help me with the test.
I read the formulas and equations I had written out on my leg hoping my teacher would see. It wouldn't probably happen right away but I was hoping that if I persisted, my plan would work.
I made it look like I got the answers from my leg as I bubbled in another letter. I didn't want to be too obvious but just enough that it would catch the attention of Mr. Thompson.
I continued this process as my hands were growing sweaty. I was nervous about how it would go down. I was surprised no one else had said anything to him as I'm sure the dude next to me saw it clearly.
Then I realized he was actually using it to help him with his own test. Well that backfired.
I spoke too soon as I suddenly heard my name called.
"Mariana, go to the principals office right now. You are getting a zero on your test. I will call down to the office to make sure you got there." My teacher said in a stern tone. I had to admit Stef's was scarier though.
I stood up as I began packing up my stuff trying to look guilty but inside I was so pleased it had worked. I could see James sweating as he knew he had almost been caught. I think he was more worried about how he would fail the test considering he didn't have my leg to look at anymore.
I headed up to the front of the classroom as I set my papers down on his desk as he gave me a disappointed look. I almost dreaded seeing my moms disappointment in me. More so Stef's unavoidable yelling.
I left the room as I headed towards mamas office as she was the principal which didn't make me as scared.
My heart started beating faster as adrenaline pumped through my body making my cut marks feel like they were pulsing even more. Was it weird that I almost felt excitement? Excited to get yelled at and get attention? Then get hugged by my moms? Lately all eyes were on Callie. Moms didn't seem to even seem to have a single one of my "stupid problems" cross their minds. I was excited to finally get attention and love from them. I guess I was realized I was more jealous of Callie. Maybe that's why she cut?
I suddenly realized I was more than a few steps from my moms office. It was now or never. I took a deep breath before walking in.
Immediately I saw my moms disappointed look that was plastered on her face as she was sitting on the couch in her office. I was assuming my teacher had already called down and let her know what happened.
"You cheated. Really." Mama said in a strict voice. This was more scary than I had imagined.
"Yeh." I admitted nervously. I wasn't sure if Mr. Thompson had told her how I cheated. I hadn't taken that into consideration as I had skipped over that part in my head. Now I was even more nervous because I had it scripted all in my head and written all on my thighs in more ways than one.
Just as if she had read my mind, she said
"How did you cheat? With your phone? Because that phone is mine now. Wait until your mom hears about this one." Mama said as every word in her voice rose.
"I didn't use my phone." I said quietly avoiding her harsh glare she was giving me. She was more scary than I remembered which made me even more scared of what was coming with Mom.
"Well then, how did you cheat?" Mama said still using a somewhat louder voice than need be.
I shakily lifted up some of my skirt to reveal the writing.
I could see my mom become even more mad. But that wasn't even the worst of what she would see.
"Is it on your other leg too?" Mama asked with an edge in her voice.
This was the moment I had been dreading and it was here as I slowly lifted up the other side of my skirt reveling my other thigh and the writing on it. Only it wasn't with a pen this time. It was with a blade.
My mom gasped at what she saw. I could see fear take over. Never had she imagined this would happen.
And never would I have imagined I would do this to myself.
And I couldn't even begin to imagine what was coming for me next.
• • •
Stef's POV
The rest of the day with Callie was actually nice. It felt like she wasn't putting up as much of a fight and the wall she had built around herself was slowly coming down.
We hadn't gotten anywhere near to what I wanted to know so bad. The truth. But I felt like today was somewhat of a step closer to what I was aiming for.
Callie and I were both laying in bed as I had stopped working and she had stopped listing to music which left both of us next to each other with nothing to do. It was around 2:00pm and the kids would be home in half an hour or so.
"Wanna play the game where you trace a word on each other's back?" I heard Callie say as the top of our heads were touching as we were facing each other.
"Sure, you wanna go first?" I asked her.
"Sure. Lay on your stomach." She said as I smiled loving this carefree side of her who wasn't stuck in a hermit crabs shell.
I flipped over as I felt her sit on the back of my legs.
I then felt her finger trace something into my back. She was so delicate, almost as if she was scared of hurting me. I wish she was the same way with herself.
"S" I said as I felt her finger lift off of my shirt.
"Mmh" she said as her finger met my back once more to start drawing the next letter.
"A"
"Yep"
Her finger almost tickled as she continued drawing the next letters.
"N"
I then felt her hand brush across my back indicating that it was a new word. She then traced another letter on my back.
"P" I guessed.
"Nope."
"D?"
"Yeh." She said.
"Police department?" I guessed again.
"How did you get that from San?" She asked laughing.
"PD" is what I guessed for the letters." I said joking with her.
"Your strange." She said laughing as I did too.
"While at least I'm strange in San Diego." I said.
"Wow, your so good at this." She said sarcastically as the weight from her on my legs seemed to be growing heavier by the minute. But I wanted to keep this going. Keep this happy Callie girl and this moment.
"Can I do another one?" She asked.
"Sure love." I said smiling as I felt her pull my shirt down to get it straightened out since the writing of San Diego had wrinkled it a bit. I then felt her hand brush some of my hair away that had fallen onto the back of my shirt.
"I have always loved your hair. It's soft and long and blonde and you are a really beautiful person inside and out." My daughter said.
Tears welled up in my eyes. This kid sitting in my legs could be this wonderful caring kind loving sole. She had so much compassion and when she loved, she loved hard. Something we had very much in common.
"Mom, don't get too emotional on me." I heard Callie say bringing me out of my thoughts.
"I can see your eyes are watery." She said as she laughed and leaned down putting her face next to mine. This relieved the weight off of my legs but had transitioned now onto my back due to Callie laying fully on top of my back.
"You better watch yourself missy." I said in a playful tone as I felt Callie's finger meet the top of my back again as she stayed laying on top of me.
"Am I too heavy?" She asked as she suddenly stopped tracing.
"Heavy? Are you kidding me, your the lightest out of all of my kids." I said laughing as I could see her smile out of the corner of my eye.
She traced the letters L and S onto my back. I waited for her to continue writing more words as I tried thinking of what word started with LS.
"That's the word." Callie said.
"LS? That's not a word love." I said to her confused.
"Sure it's not a word but it could stand for something. Like a shortened version."
"What?" I asked as I had no clue what was running through this kids mind.
"Think of it. Your real name is Stefanie but every one calls you Stef. It's a shortened version of it like this word. LS." She said.
"Little Shit?" I guessed.
"Mom! I can't believe you actually said that!" I heard her say as that earned a laugh out of both of us.
"You know, your moms gotta let loose every once in awhile and it's hard to do it with all you kids around. Especially your mama who thinks Hell is a swear word." I sad as my daughter giggled.
"You actually got the first word right." She said as she continued to lay on top of my back and her head inched closer to mine.
"Little Sicko?" I guessed again as I smiled at Callie.
"Sicko? Nobody uses that word except back in the olden days when you were a kid."
"Excuse me? Did you just call me old?" I said surprised.
"Well you are like twice as old as me so you kinda are." Callie said daringly.
"Your cruisin for a brusin." I said in a stern yet sarcastic tone.
"Just stating the facts."
"That's it!" I said as I rolled her off my back and pinned her down to tickle her. She laughed as I continued.
"Stop! You still need to guess what LS means!" She said through gasps of laughter.
I stopped as I laid my head next to hers. Her eyes seemed ever so slightly brighter. I wanted every day to be like this with her. But I couldn't take everyday off to be with her and I felt like she sort of got lost in the rest of her siblings. Lena and I both had to figure out a more steady and structured routine. Not just for Callie, but for everyone including myself.
"Tell me what it is. I give up." I said in defeat.
"What's your name." Callie said as our eyes met.
"Stef." I said.
"Exactly." Callie said. This kid really didn't know how to say complete sentences for me to understand her thinking.
"Little Stef?" I asked.
"Yeh. I feel like I'm little Stef. I'm younger than you, about twice as young-"
"Watch it girlie." I said cutting her off.
"Aaannnd I'm like you. We have a lot in common so I'm like a little Stef." Callie said continuing, clearly ignoring my lame warning.
"Wow, your good at this game." I said as I wrapped my arm around her.
Just then I heard my phone ring which was sitting on the bedside table.
I reached over Callie to grab it as in the process, I squished her and she made it very clear that I did.
I saw the caller id. Lena.
"Hello?" I said as I answered it somewhat confused on why she was calling.
"Stef. When I bring Mariana home today, we have something very serious to talk about." My wife said in a tone I had never heard before. Almost as if fear had filled her lungs and was washing out onto her voice.
"Lena, what happened." I asked as I knew immediately something was wrong.
And something was indeed very wrong. And I would soon find out.
Just like I had done with Callie.