You were not "The One"
you were just all that I knew
so i clung to you no matter how much more that hurt than letting go
i would never hurt a rose by cutting its thorns, its a part of them and what makes them who they are and if i get pricked so be it
i didn't want to change you even while i watched you push me away, and it hurt but i held on
you asked me "was i ever really bad to you?"
and in that moment i forgot all the pain you had ever caused me and i just missed you, who i knew
i was honest
"i never considered marriage a possibility in my life until deep with us"
and i don't feel that way anymore
but i can't say i never will again
i've experienced someone giving me anything i wanted, without asking
and that not being enough
but it was there
and god was it nice
but if i accepted only that
i'd have the stars, but never the moon
and fuck do i love the moon
so i'll keep painting my night sky and collecting experiences as if they were stars
i'll leave a space open for the moon for when it's time
there will always be a spot in my painting, and i'll try to keep one open in my heart.
08/18/2020