It's dark in the room, concealed from the rest of the world that's in full swing outside this hotel. I'm tucked in close to him, listening to the sound of his heart as it beats slowly against my ear. The only light in the room comes from the dim lamp on the table across the room from us, almost flickering like a candle.
His legs are tangled with mine, my hair sprawled out against his chest, and everything feels so close. Yet, I find myself trying to mold into him even more, holding onto him even tighter than before. Neither of us has said anything for the past hour, just happy to be with each other and away from the rest of the world, in the safety of a new hotel room in a new small town.
This is where thrive. It's where everything feels simple, like I don't have to try to be anything else but the person I am. And that Harry is okay with this. Hidden away from everyone else, cuddled into each other tightly, in a place that's never permanent... this is where we belong.
"Harry?" I whisper as my fingers slowly move up the skin of his stomach, feeling the ripples of his muscles.
"Hmm?" he hums softly, his fingertips massaging my scalp with his hands that are tangled in my hair.
I feel him breathe out loudly above me, the air that's pushed from his lungs blowing onto the top of my head. We've been lying like this together for quite some time now and even though I don't think I've ever been more comfortable in my life, I feel anything but drowsy. Instead I'm wide awake with thoughts of Harry and how perfectly my body fits into his at this moment.
"Why did you leave?" I ask with slight hesitation, nervous to hear what his answer might be, but also curious enough to fight away my uncertainty in asking the question.
"I thought you wanted me to."
"What?" I shoot up, my hand on his chest, pressing into him as I push my hair to the side. Has he lost his mind? I know I'm more than obvious with what I want from him.
"No," he shakes his head, changing his mind. "That isn't what I mean... I thought I was doing you a favor. It wasn't that I thought you didn't want me there, I know you did, the entire situation just made me question if I was doing the right thing with you... or if I was bringing you down."
I lean to rest the side of my cheek in my hand, my eyebrows furrowed as I look at Harry and try to understand what he's just said. I'm still intertwined with him, but now my face is leaning to the side as I look up into his eyes, trying to read his facial expression as he looks back at me.
The concept of him bringing me down seems so silly and completely impossible that I almost want to laugh. I'm not sure he realizes how much he's done for me since I've known him, how different things would probably if I didn't.
I feel like a stronger person when I'm around him, like I can take on the world without the fear of tumbling to the ground because of it. It feels like I'm finally starting to become the person I'm meant to be. Without him I'm not sure that'd be possible. I don't find myself constantly thinking, over analyzing, every situation. Sure, this still happens but it's significantly less with him around and I think it's because it feels like he'd catch me if I fall. He feels like a safety net.
And while I think I would eventually be able to accomplish this feeling on my own. It's nice to have someone there who brings out without even having to think about it. It doesn't feel like an uphill battle with him supporting me.
"I don't understand?" I ask him, tapping my fingers against the side of my cheek. "How could you think that?"
He shrugs his shoulders, looking off to the side and takes a deep breath. It takes him a moment to look back over, reconnecting our eyes, and I wrap my arm around his waist tighter as I wait for him to answer.
"When you said that you didn't want to come with me it made me realize that I can't, and don't want to, make you do everything my slightly impulsive brains thinks of. I felt so selfish for assuming you'd want to go to Vegas too.
"I guess it made me wonder if I was making this easier or harder for you," he continues to explain, his voice is calm. "I don't want to put you in situations that make you uncomfortable and I felt like for a moment I took you for granted. I didn't even think about you saying no to me, and I thought I was doing you a favor by going anyways... that way you didn't have to worry about saying no, so you didn't have to think twice about being happy."
I stare at him for a few seconds, soaking in everything he's just said to me and I find it impossible to form words. So instead of trying to struggle with mostly incoherent thoughts, I kiss him.
Grabbing onto his cheek, I lean down to press my lips into his. He seems surprised at first, not expecting for this to be my reaction or for it to be as forceful as it is, but it doesn't take him long to warm up and soon enough he's kissing me back.
It's a hungry kiss, like one that we meant to do much sooner instead of spending most the day apart from each other. Our breathing becomes heavy, my hair trapping us as I lean over him. And even though there isn't any room to breathe, Harry pulls me in closer.
I decide that breathing is overrated anyways.
Eventually it slows down to soft pecks on the lips and our noses rubbing together as our smiles become one. I feel his arms around my waist, my body on top of his, as he slowly lets go of me, moving his hands up my sides with his fingertips tickling against my skin.
"What was that for, pretty girl?" he chuckles, his hand moves to push a piece of hair away from my face. "If that was your way of saying that I have no idea what I'm talking about then maybe I should be clueless more often, because that was... wow."
"You don't know what you're talking about," I laugh quietly, kissing him once more. "Believe me, you make things easier... absolutely wonderful as a matter of fact. You're like rose colored glasses, only better... more real, less deceiving."
"I like that," he nods, breathing out deeply before repeating the words. "Rose colored glasses... I can take on that job."
"Good," I laugh again. "Because you're already recruited."
We smile at each other, our eyes blinking at the same time and eventually I have to look away so I don't give in to another undying want to kiss him again. My head falls back on to his chest, breathing in as I try to calm myself down, and I feel his chest rumble with soft laughter as he observes my attempts to remain cool. His hand brushes through my hair again, managing to avoid the tangles and it does the trick of relaxing me back into him.
It's strange to me how right this feels considering I've never been this close, or even slightly intimate, with a boy before. I'm as inexperienced as they come to something like this. The only cuddling I've ever done was either with Laurel when she's been so drunk she can barely function or when Blair was younger and scared of thunder storms.
I've never been in bed with a boy, not in this way at least, and I've certainly never felt comfortable enough to lie on top of them, digging my head into their chest like I'm doing with Harry right now. It feels like this should be awkward or uncomfortable for me, like I should be unsure of my every move, but I don't feel this way. It feels like a breath of fresh air, one I've been desperately searching for.
There is no way to explain, or even really justify, the feelings I have for Harry. I knew from the moment I laid eyes on him he was special, it was obvious that he has an incredible aura about him, and it didn't take me long to realize that he would be a changing force in this new life of mine. But I don't think I could have predicted just how strongly I would feel toward him, especially after such a short amount of time of him being a part of everything.
It isn't a surprise that I would fall for him, it was happening before I even meant it to... but it is surprising to me that it feels like he's falling too. At least from every impression I get. Neither of us has flat out said it, expressed just how much we like each other, but I'd say judging by the position we're in right now it's pretty obvious.
"It crushed me that you said okay," I say, quietly bringing it up again. "I don't know, it hurt to see you walk away... especially since there were two beautiful girls on the other side waiting for you."
"It wasn't about them," I hear him say but don't look up. "They were nice, and sure a little pretty..."
"You think they were pretty?" It slips out of my mouth before I can stop it, letting a side of me show that I'd rather pretend didn't exist.
"Sure," he shrugs, laughing at my jealous words. "But I think you're much prettier. And you're even nicer and funny in this way... like you're not meaning to be funny, but it just comes out naturally. Plus, you make me nervous."
"Nervous?"
"Mhmm," he laughs again. "In a good way, of course. You know, the kind where you get butterflies in the pit of your stomach because you're so excited... the kind that makes a little shaky but also where you can't stop smiling. You make me nervous like that."
"Oh," I smile to myself. "I didn't realize I held so much power."
"You hold a lot of power, sweet Greta."
I blink, looking off to the side with my cheek still pressed against the skin of Harry's chest. It's difficult for me to understand how I could have that big of an impact on him. But it feels nice to know that he feels the exact same way as me.
"And I'm sorry for hurting you, for what that's worth," he continues, his fingers still playing with my mess of hair. "I promise that is the last thing I want to do. I could tell I was... but I didn't want to. That's why I wasn't saying much at the end, it was too hard."
"I forgive you," I say before he can apologize anymore. "You're here now, you came back."
I don't see the point of dwelling on my disappointment that he left. I'm curious to know why of course, and his answer was amazing to hear, but I don't think it will do anyone any good to use it against him.
It didn't take him long to come back and every moment since then has made up for his brief absence. I'm not going to hold a grudge. And I believe him. I know he didn't want to hurt me, I could tell by the look in his eyes as he turned around. He was simply doing what he thought was best for me, and while it hurt having to say goodbye, I know he only did it out of his care for me.
I don't want him to do it again though, not in the slightest. I want him to know that he isn't bringing me down, that I want him around, and that he's a really good kisser.
"Aren't you the sweetest," he smiles at me, pushing my hair back with his hand. "I'm truly so lucky that it was you I met on the bus."
"You really think that?" I ask quickly, feeling the need for Harry to explain more.
"Yes," he nods softly. "I wouldn't have wanted anyone else to fall asleep in my lap. Do you realize how difficult those few hours without you were? It didn't feel right not having you by my side... it feels like we're supposed to be in this together."
"We are, Harry." I smile back at him, hoping he'll understand how hard it was for me too. How badly I wanted him to be with me while I sat alone in the bus station, talking to Laurel on the phone. "And I'm the one who's lucky."
"Why's that?"
"Because you could have easily been a deranged individual... I was taking a risk trusting you, I could have easily been killed in the first few hours," I laugh quietly, the slightly sarcastic words flowing out of my mouth.
"Damn," he laughs back. "And here I was thinking you were going to say you were lucky for having a man like me, who was so very strong and extremely wise, well beyond my years. I understand what you think of me now, only here so you can cuddle with someone who hasn't hurt another human being. I used think you thought so much more highly of me, Greta-,"
"Harry!" I practically yell his name, stopping him from continuing his long rant, covering his mouth my hand. "I also happen to think you're very strong and extremely wise, if that soothes your mind."
"You do?" he looks down at me with wide eyes, resembling a puppy dog. His voice muffled with my hand that's still over his mouth.
"Yes, you crazy man," I giggle at his expression, moving my hand away. "Plus, you also get an A in cuddling. Not that I have much to compare it to but I get a good feeling from it."
He squeezes me tighter as I finish the sentence, smiling to himself as I blink up at him. His hands brush down the side of my arms, his fingertips moving to the side of my waist where he sneaks in a rough tickle, which causes me to burst into laughter.
He doesn't let up either, tickling harder as I gasp for a breath in between my loud laughter. I fall to the side, trying to escape his hands but it proves impossible to get away. He looks down at me, determination stamped all over his face as his hands reach the inside of my shirt, his fingers now tickling against my bare skin.
"Harry!" I yell out, still trying to escape, pushing at his chest. He doesn't make it easy though, with his legs now straddling my waist, holding me down into bed. "This is awful... stop," I get the words out between the loud laughter.
"Then why do you find it so hilarious?" he asks smoothly, continuing the torture.
"Harry," I try again, my eyes watering from laughing so much.
"Yes, sweet Greta?" he smirks from his place on top of me, putting more of his weight onto my hips.
"Harry," I try again, barely breathing at this point, my legs kicking below me. "Harry. Please, please stop."
I try to push him off but between his weight pressing me into the mattress and his fingers continuing their torturous tickles on my side, it's physically impossible. Laughter is still flowing for my mouth but I feel anything but amused, exhausted from his persistent hands.
"Okay," he stops suddenly, finally listening to my request.
My head stops thrashing around, the laughter ceases and his hands are no longer tickling my sides... but they still hold on tightly, his rough fingers gripping the soft skin of my stomach. I'm out of breath at this point, my chest heaving up and down quickly, but a smile remains on my face, even though the tickling was anything but enjoyable.
Harry's face is all of a sudden inches away from mine. He's still on top of me, legs on either side of my body, pinning me down, and I can feel his slow breathing against my face.
His forehead is resting on top of mine, his eyes blinking slowly, and I feel one of his hands that was on my waist move to my cheek, rubbing it softly. His closeness is almost suffocating, and I find it difficult to breathe but I also don't dare to ask him to move. Because I'd rather have difficulties in regaining any normal breathing than have him an inch further away.
"I like you, Greta," he whispers, his warm breath hitting my face.
"I like-,"
"No," Harry interrupts me before I can even begin to tell him the same words back. "I really like you. I like you a lot."
I nod my head with the little space I have, Harry's thumb still rubbing the skin of my cheek. My eyes are closed at this point, appreciating the way Harry's body feels against mine, how he completely engulfs me, barely giving me a millimeter to move.
There is no way that I would have predicted that this would be the position I'd be in when I first decide to run away. I didn't have any idea that I'd meet someone who would mean so much me in such a short amount of time, someone who gives me the strength to keep going.
I doubt Harry realizes this, even if I tell him that I really like him too, the words don't give justice to what I feel. But I can't figure out how to explain how it, because it's still something I'm trying to navigate myself.
"I really like you too, Harry," I whisper back to him. "You know that, right?"
I ask only because I don't see the use in making this more complicated than it needs to be. I like him, he says he likes me, why try to hide that from each other? What's the point in keeping one in the dark when we're both clearly, very much infatuated with each other?
"Yes," he breathes out slowly and my eyes that are open again, look into his. I get lost in the green and even though it's mostly dark in the room his eyes almost glow, pulling me into him. "I know that. And I'm so happy that's the case... it feels nice to be liked by you."
He moves his face away from my mine, not far, but enough that it isn't the only thing I see in front of me. I feel his lips press against my forehead, kissing me softly, holding it there for more than a few seconds as he breathes out.
"Please don't leave again," I let the words out, my voice shaky, allowing the vulnerable part of me shine through. "Stay with me?"
"I can't imagine doing anything otherwise," he smiles at me and I feel his heart thumping in his chest against mine. "You already got me hooked, Greta."
"So you won't leave?"
"No," he shakes his head quickly, his long hair tickling my face as he leans over. "I won't leave."
And then he kisses me again and I know he's telling the truth.
...
Short(ish) but sweet... like majorly sweet.
Is Harry forgiven? I hope so... because he's too cute to be angry with. Thank you for being lovely people, hope you liked this chapter.