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Weeks later...
This depression- it's been eating me up. The world no longer seems magical. The chirping of the birds no longer is a music to my ears. It's very dark in here. Not from the practical point of view, but from my mental state. The tears want to roll down, but they are too stubborn. They just wouldn't come.
I let my gaze rise up and I took in my whole body, wincing at the emaciated figure that stared back at me. What had I let herself become? I felt like a hollow shell of my once plump and vibrant self. I felt weak. I hardly ate these days. I felt as if i had no fight left inside me. My parents were gone, and so was he.
It had been weeks since he left. I read the note he left almost very night, it always destroyed me. Every paragraph, every sentence, every word stung like a nettle. The worst part of it was...I didn't know if he was alive or not.
He wrote that he wanted to make Lucius pay for what he did and Lucius wouldn't hesitate to kill Draco. It hurts not knowing if he's safe. Just to know if he is alive or not would soothe me. Just to hear his heart beat...
I haven't been going to classes for weeks. Cora and Cole are worried about me, I told them both everything, even Cora. I told them about my parents death and Draco leaving. I wanted to go after him, find him but they forced me to stay or they would've gone to Dumbledore. I couldn't have anyone getting involved, this was my business. This is happening because of me. Because of who I am.
I weakly stumbled over to my single bed and sat on the edge, my elbows on my knees and head in my hands. I was so lost, I had no idea on what to do. I need to find out if he's okay. If he is alive then he will be at the malfoy manor. How am I super get ther without anyone knowing? Plus, what if I went there and he wasn't there, and Lucius would be. I know he needs me for something but I still don't understand what. But I have this feeling, a feeling that whatever he has planned it will be happening soon.
I'm brought out of my thoughts when Cora barges into the dorm.
"Right come on we are going for breakfast." She insisted, grabbing my shoes from the corner if the room and bring them to me.
I shook my head. "I'm not hungry." I lied. I was hungry, but I couldn't bear to eat.
Cora sighed and starting putting my shoes on for me herself. "Yes you are Leah, you can't stay in here forever."
I could though, it was so easy.
When I didn't reply she spoke again. "We miss you." She started while grabbing a black sweater from my dresser for me. "I miss my partner in crime." She smirked while putting te sweater over my head.
"I don't feel like going." I argued. I had little to no motivation.
"I don't care." She knelt down so she was level with my eyes. "Listen. You're a bad bitch okay. You're stronger than this. And I've got sick of sitting through snapes lessons by myself so get your ass up queen." She said smirking.
A small smile crept onto my lips, Cora always knew how to cheer me up. "Fine." I sighed. Cora shot up with excitement and we made our way to the great hall. Thankfully it was sunday so I didn't have to start my classes until tomorrow. When we opened the giant doors into the great hall I got a few stares. I know that my figure had changed a lot, I was a lot thinner. I heard a few whispers every now and then, some people saying 'look hoe skinny she is' and 'what the fuck happened to her'. I chose to just ignore them and took my seat with Cora at the slytherin table.
I saw Cole sitting down and as soon as he saw me he had a relieved look on his face. "Leah. I'm proud of you for coming." He said as he stood up from his seat and pulled me in for a gentle hug. I could tell he was afraid of accidentally hurting me.
"I'm not made of glass Cole." I sent him a small smile as I sat down next to him.
"Sorry. Here I'll fill up your plate." He said as he pilled all different types of food onto my plate. Looking at the food made me slightly sick. Once he was finished he pushed to plate towards me, pushing me to eat a little.
"Just try okay? For me." He said while rubbing my back. I nodded while picking up my fork and shoving some well cooked bacon into my mouth. My first instinct was to spit it out. But I forced it down, I had to do this. I needed to be stronger. For Draco.
I continued to take small bites of the food on my plate, I could slowly feel my energy building up. I knew I looked a mess. My hair was knotted and frizzy, I had bags under my eyes making me look drained. But I really didn't care what I looked like at this point. I had no one to impress. I looked down at my chest. I still had the necklace Draco gave me all them months ago. I'd give anything to go back to that day, life was a lot more simple then. I haven't taken the necklace off since the night of the party. It made me feel close to him, made me feel connected to him.
It gave me hope.
*****
Tonight was a full moon. Luckily I still had a lot of my potion left, and I knew how to make one anyway. I've always excelled st potions. I would usually receive a letter of my mother informing me of a full moon, even if I already knew, but obviously...that wouldn't happen anymore. While I was walking back to my dorm with Cora and Cole I saw Pansy come out our room. Yes she was still our roommate but she was hardly ever in there.
She sent me a smug smirk before shoving past me, he shoulder pushing mine. 'Bitch' I muttered under my breath. I walked in and had a sample of my potion, making sure Cora didn't see as she didn't know about my condition.
"Leah, get changed into some warm clothes." Cora spoke as she turned to her closet, pulling out a large puffy coat.
"Why?" I asked confused.
"Because." She cooed while sitting next to me on my bed. "We are going on a little adventure." She said smiling.
Coras adventures never ended well, she would always find dangerous things fun and rebellious. "Yeah, I don't think so." I replied.
"Yeah well I do think so." She stated, crossing her arms over her chest. I looked over at Cole to see what he thought.
"You could use it, you've been up here for weeks." He commented. He was right, I needed some fresh air. This could be good for me.
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. "Fine fine." I said throwing my hands up in the air. Cora squealed in excitement as we changed into some warm clothes. I had a pair of black jeans on with a warm green sweater and black boots on. I finished my look off with a comfy slytherin scarf. We all excited the common room and followed Cora to merlin knows where she was taking us.
"Where exactly are we going?" I asked as we made our way towards Hogsmeade.
"This place called the shrieking shack, the weasley twins were telling me about it a couple days ago." She explained. "Apparently it's haunted." She exclaimed while raising her eyebrows. I've been going to Hogwarts for just under 7 months now and I've never heard of this place before.
After a long 30 minute walk we finally find, what I assume is the shrieking shack. On cold, winter evenings, the skies overhead would be embraced by the fading radiance of a winter sunset, tinges of raspberry red and blackcurrant violet chasing one another.
It was an abandoned house, with the windows and doors bordered up. It truly looked deserted. As we walked in the halls were dirty and covered in cobwebs. It had a gloomy and odd feeling to it. Little light was let into the room, the dust collected throughout the air causing us to cough.
"This is disgusting." I commented while looking around the room.
"I wonder of there's ghosts!" Cora exclaimed. Me and Cole rolled our eyes at her comment. Of course there were ghosts at Hogwarts but it would be very unlikely if there were any here. As a continued looking around the dreadful looking room Cole pulled me aside.
"Leah come look at this." He said while sliding his hand along a light oak wall with some sort of pictures carved into it. I eyed the the pictures and my jaw dropped.
Carved into the wood was the process of a human changing into a werewolf. It showed the true transformation, or what I could remember from it. My brain stutters for a moment and my eyes take in more information than I expected, every part of me goes on pause while my thoughts catch up. Why was this here? This was so random. Who did this?
My fingers traced along the wall as Cole spoke. "What is this?" He asked, turning to look at me.
"It's showing the transformation for when a human tunes into a werewolf.." I state.
"What?" He asked confused.
"First your pupils enlarge and your eyes become bloodshot." I say as I glide my hand along the first picture. "Your breathing becomes sharp and rapid. Then the pain kicks in, it feels as if your being suffocated." I continue and move onto the next stage. "Your claws then start to form, pulsing through your bones. Then your body starts to double in size, it feels like your limbs are being torn apart. The screams could break glass." Cole looks over to me in concern, sadness in his eyes.
"And then it's complete." I say as my hand rests on the final carving. One of a fully transformed werewolf. My eyes meet Coles and he looks shocked.
"You had to go through all of that?" He asks, his voice choking up slightly.
"Unfortunately yes." I reply looking down. Obviously it hadn't happened in a long time, but I still remember the pain.
"I'm sorry leah." He says while placing his warm hand on my arm. I send him a warm smile while Cora swings her arms around the both of us.
"What's this?" She asks while pointing to the markings on the wall. "Whoever did that has some mad drawing skills." She said laughing. Cole and I awkwardly laugh along with her, she's completely unaware of what the marking actually are.
We all take a seat next to the window and stare at the sky. The moon will be showing soon. We talk about everything that has happened in our life. To when we were kids, pulling pranks on each other. Going to one anothers houses all the time, life back at beauxbatons and now Hogwarts. Once this year has finished I'll be staying with Cora and her family, as I have nowhere else to go. But her parents have always treated me like a second daughter and for that I'm very grateful.
As we are talking I look at the sky and see the full mood appear. The moon was a warm milky glow in the sky, as if the sight of it could become a song in the eyes of anyone willing to raise their head upward.
As it fully appears I suddenly start to feel uneasy. That familiar feeling I haven't felt it years, filling my body...
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Ily