This is the final chapter. The original ending of ATW. Some loopholes in this story will be explained in the other books. Thank you.
***
Against the Waves
Life is like thriving in a wild ocean.
There were times that it made you feel dangerous and unsafe because oceans are being ruled by waves. Some are fighting a small waves. Some are courageously fighting the big ones.
Layana and I experienced sudden turbulence in our journey. It was a wave that assayed the stability of the two of us. It got to the point that we were on the brink of drowning. Napagod nang lumangoy. Napagod nang lumaban. It seems like, in a short span of time, the world drained us.
But ocean is not always like that. It's also a place where you can find peace. Sa gitna ng mapanganib na karagatan, nagkaroon kami ng kapahingahan. Our family and friends helped us to overcome everything. They helped us to ride the waves from the ocean to the shore. It's quite a ride though but it led us to where we are right now.
One thing that life made me realized is that, we should sail no matter what happens. We must sail and not tie ourselves at the anchor. We must sail and not drift. Those crashing waves, it'll make you feel so small and insignificant. But that's the beauty of the ocean, whether you're sailing or swimming in the vastness of it's crystal water, you will realize that you are part of something bigger.
"This is fucking corny."
"Agos, watch your language please," sita ko sa isa sa kambal habang inaayos ang aking white long sleeve.
"Ang dami mong reklamo, suotin mo na lang!" Dagdag ni Alon.
Agos rolled his eyes. "Whatever."
"Come on, dude. It's just a white dress shirt. Why do you hate it so much?" Alon asked, laughing while sipping on his mango smoothie.
"Because it is white! I hate white. Can't you see that all of my clothes are black? I know I'm handsome but, we all know that black shirt will make me damn good."
"Sino ka naman diyan? Parang laging libing nga ang punta mo. Dude, just do it for mama."
"Yeah, I know. You don't need to remind me for that, asshole."
"Agos," sita kong muli nang magmura na naman ito. Saan ba nila natutunan iyan?
"Okay, I'm sorry," he said while raising both of his hands.
"Takot ka pala e!" Biro naman ni Alon sa kambal.
"And you're not?"
Umiling iling na lang ako. Nasanay na lang ako sa kaingayan nila sa loob ng labinlimang taon. Time really went by so fast. With those fifteen years, I can now say that we've finally reached the shore. A lot of things changed and having our twins, Alon and Agos, brings so much color to our lives. I lost my child back then but He gave me two such amazing boys-minus the fact that they argue most of the times.
"Papa," Agos called me.
"Hmm?" Sagot ko.
They are now in their dress shirts partnered with their khaki pants. We are now wearing the same clothes, making us so much a like.
"You and mama are already been married for fifteen years, what's with the tradition by the way? You kept on marrying her every fucking five years. Ang gastos n'yo."
I chuckled upon hearing that. This kid.
"Hindi naman ikaw ang nagpapakasal bakit parang problemadong problemado ka r'yan?" Kontra na naman ni Alon.
That made me smiled more. Agos is far different from Alon. Agos is somehow the strict, serious and moody type while Alon is someone his opposite. He reminds me of Abes.
"Am I talking to you?"
See? That's Agos.
"Atisyod mo rin e 'no."
"Okay, enough. Are you done? Let's get outside. I'm sure your mom will be finish soon."
I heard Agos sighed. "You didn't answer my question, Papa. Nice talking," he said then walked out in the room.
Umiling iling na lang ako nang sundan siya ng kaniyang kambal. Tanaw ko mula sa kinatatayuan ko kung paano hinabol ni Alon si Agos. Then after a while they disappeared from my sight. I averted my attention to the view in front of me. Everything is all set. Everything is colored and designed with white. I am getting married again.
I kept on marrying Layana every five years. I don't know but I want to experience the same kind of feelings I've felt when I first met her in the alter. It is something I don't want to forget. Hindi ako magsasawa na pakasalanan siya nang paulit ulit para lang maipaalala sa sarili ko na napakswerte ko dahil siya ang babaeng napangasawa ko.
"Ninang Sandz!" The twins run to Sandra as soon as they saw her. They both kissed her cheeks and embraced her. I smiled wider when our eyes met.
"I brought your twins a racing car," bungad nito nang makalapit sa akin.
The twins jolted in happiness. "Yikes! Thank you, Ninang! Kaya ang ganda ganda mo sa paningin ko e!"
"Thanks Ninang," Agos simple said.
Kumunot ang noo ko at pinaningkitan ng mata si Sandra. "That's too early for that."
Mayabang na sinalubong ni Sandra ang paningin ko. "Atleast diba, wala na silang poproblemahin. Palibhasa ikaw, ayaw mong—"
"It's because it's too dangerous."
"Papa, tropa ko guardian angel ko. Swear! Mag-iingat kami!" pakiusap ni Agos.
Natahimik ako. Nakatingin silang tatlo ngayon sa akin, hinihintay ang sagot ko. I heaved a deep sigh. Agos and Alon are into car racing, they've been asking my permission to buy their own car since last year-but, it's too dangerous for them. It's not that I stop them from pursuing their wants, I just want them to be safe.
"Come on, Hayes. Matatanggihan mo ba ang mga gwapong batang ito!" Sandra giggles and pinched Agos and Alon's cheeks.
I took a deep sigh again. "We'll ask mama about it first. Okay?"
Nagsipag-apiran ang tatlo. Napailing na lang ako. I should ask my wife first about this. We should decide together, this is about our children. Panigurado kasi ay kokontra iyon, alam niya rin kasing delikado ang car racing. But what can I do? This is my children's hobbies.
Our relatives kept on coming. I happily shook their hands and welcomed them. We were all waiting for the bride to arrived. Just like what we had plan, we held our first marriage in beach, followed by a church wedding and now, we are here again. The sun is about to set, sign that another day was about to end but for us, this is a new sign for a new beginning.
Everyone had their own space and was well-organized. The musicians were now set to perform, and all we were waiting for was the arrival of the bride. I was standing near the isle with my twins beside me.
"You nervous, Papa?" Alon asked me when we're waiting for his motherto walked towards the isle.
I took a deep breathe and nodded.
"Both you and mama are lucky to have each other," Alon added. I looked at him, both of his hands are on his pockets. His disheveled hair are almost like mine. He looked back to me and smiled. "Agos and I are lucky to have both of you as our parents. Couldn't ask for more."
That melted my heart. As if after everything we've been through, our twins are the proof of our strength, perseverance and love for each other.
"Mama is here na," Agos commented.
I averted my gaze in front and there she is, the woman of my life. My everything. I felt my eyes heated because of so much joy. She was holding Lily of the Valley boquet which she herself prepared for it. I didn't even get to take my eyes off Layana. When Layana met my gazed, I saw her smile. Even in our distance, I saw how her eyes sparkled. She's happy. I can see it in her eyes. Ang ngiti niya ang bumubuo sa araw ko. Masaya ako dahil nakikita ko ang kasiyahan at kakuntentuhan sa kaniyang mukha. I couldn't ask for more. She's more than enough.
"Damn, she is really my mom," Agos commented.
"Layana is so pretty!" Dinig kong sabi ni Sandra mula sa sariling upuan.
I smiled.
Layana...her name...it will always trip me. For she is the symbol of my entirety. She is my own kryptonite. She showed and thought me how I loved...Above all, she thought me that some love doesn't need to last forever...sometimes, it requires a fresh start. A new beginning.
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness Hayes and Layana's matrimony."
I put the side of my tongue behind my cheeks and teared up a little as she gets near me.
We bid our farewell to each other but there's nothing stronger than two hearts beating for each other.
Ang hirap niyang bitawan. Ang hirap niyang iwan. Iyong puso at buhay ko, matagal ko nang binigay sa kaniya. Kaya kung aalis man ako, alam kong kulang ako. Kung hindi siya ang makakatuluyan ko sa buhay, pakiramdam ko ay natuluyan na ring huminto sa pagtibok ang puso ko.
Mahal na mahal ko siya. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko siya minahal nang ganito pero patuloy itong lumalago habang lumilipas ang mga araw. Wala na akong kawala. Sa kaniya na ako. Akin na siya. Sa amin na ang pagkakataong ito. Amin lang. Kami naman.
In this life, Layana is the greatest thing that ever happened to me. I loved her unequivocally. It's beyond measure. We loved each other. We lived in each other, through each other, by each other.
I stared at Layana in teary eyed as she walk towards the isle.
Last years were hard. We got stuck. We ran out of hope. We couldn't swim back to the shore. But life also thought me that there's life in still waters. There will be days when you feel stuck. Where storms hit you hard at night and the sun burns your skin during the day. Everything feels...empty and stagnant like water. But don't be afraid. Let it slow you down a bit. There's still beauty in every pause. Maybe life is not about surviving and hustling...Maybe, life is sometimes about stopping.
Our headlights couldn't see the finish line we envisioned. There's confusion and uncertainty along the path we take everyday and we don't know where are going. We lost lot of people. We grieved for them. Our grieving limits us to see the future we planned. But on top of that, we grieved for our old selves. They were left behind. They lost everything.
But life is a series of waves. It brought us to the shore. Almost lifeless, but still breathing. The scars we earned from sailing in the vastness and ruling of the waves will be forever be part of us.
We can no longer swim to same waters we left behind since the current has changed. But no one stop oneself to dive onto new one. In different river...different sea...different ocean. We cannot swim the same river twice.
So...
It's time to let go. For I know that this life is not wasted. This love is not wasted. Because letting go is an opportunity for growth. It's unclasping tight embrace to let us breathe. Love can be found everywhere...in little things, winnings and losses, birthdays and even...letting go.
All those painful events that ruined us...Those regrets, what-ifs and what could have been...it will end here. It ends here. It must end here.
I don't want to lament the pieces of ourselves that were left over. I want to splay them instead. And look each of it. The memories and sacrifices. And if time comes, healing will start there. Where shaping will takes place. Where new beginnings will bloomed again.
I gazed at our twins.
My tears escaped from my eyes by just looking at them. They are crying too. Alon is trying so hard to bit his lower lip but I can see how hard it is for him not to cry. Beside him is his twin, Agos, who is crying non stop as he watch his mom walk in the isle.
I can't help but to feel happy and contented. This happiness...this is what we all deserve. This is beyond what we deserve. Those pain we endured, it's all worth it.
"Paradise found," I whispered to myself.
They are my life now. And I don't want anything else aside from them. This is the place I intented to be. I can't wait to sail with them in the vast ocean. I can't wait to have more adventures with them against the churning waves.
"Hayes, do you take Layana to be your wife, to live together, to love her, to honor her, to comfort her, and to keep her in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, for as long as you both shall live?"
"I do." My voice croaked.
Her tears fell but she still manage to give me a smile. I felt like...a burden is lifted in my heart. That finally...she is free. She is happy.
I met a lot of girls in my life. I get a glimpse of their soul. But, in a sea of people, Layana is the only one who captured my attention. I don't think no one can capture my eyes the way she can. She stands out among the crowd. That's why when she got out of my sight, I still find her in the crowd. I'm still looking for a familiar place, familiar scent and familiar love that she alone can give.
I love her. Always have been and always will be.
"Layana, do you take Hayes to be your husband, to live together, to love him, to honor him, to comfort him, and to keep him in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, for as long as you both shall live?"
My lips tremble.
"I do." She said without any hesitation.
Her tears fell but she still manage to give me a smile. I couldn't contain my happiness. We've been doing it for almost three times already but I still get the chills and nervousness everytime the priest will ask her about marrying me.
"Just kiss, jeez!" Agos commented and wipe his tears.
Layana and I chuckled. I caressed her cheek gently. Her smiles grew wider.
Those smiles, will be the death of me. That was my favorite curve of her body.
I didn't regret that I met her. I didn't regret that I married her. Marrying her is such an honor and having her as the mother of my children will be my greatest blessing.
I don't know what I did to my past life to have a family like this but, everything was worth it. Those pain, tears, joy and hatred, bring where we us right now. With them, I am at peace and having her calms my storms.
"By virtue of the authority vested in me, Hayes and Layana, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."
I always say, I would die for her. That I am willing to burn to ashes just to save her. But right now, my love for her bloomed. I always want the best for her. I want her to enjoy the little things. Explore every corner of the world. I want the world to treat her better it treated me. For Layana, she is the kind of love I would live for.
"You can now stop fighting against the waves, my love. After everything we've been through, we finally reached the shore." I whispered before I sealed her lips with mine.
She is always in my heart. In my choices. In my everyday life. Her laughter, her smile, her gaze and all the incredible moments we've shared together have left an indelible mark on my heart. That even if my skin rots and my bones break under the weight of my tombstone, my love for her will remain. The tale of our love story will be timeless. Those pages will carry our first few kisses and first few hugs.
If parallel universe is real, I want her to know, that I will constantly, continually, consistently, choose her. Just her.
Against all odds. Against the waves. Against everything.
----- End