What the fuck am I doing?
Korra didn't go home after the whole Hiroshi thing, and her parents were currently blowing up her phone. She ignored them however, not even bothering to text them that she's alive. She didn't feel like going home after the incident, so she just wandered around town, thinking.
The thing is, Korra didn't have anyone to turn to. Asami hated her, Asami's friends knew about everything, Tahno and his gang weren't friends with Korra anymore... She just ran out of people.
So, this is how she found herself in front of Lyla's house.
But she didn't have the courage to go in, she just found herself a bench and sat down, staring at the place her ex lived in.
Before Lyla was her mythological ex, she was Korra's best friend. So in her mind, maybe Lyla would listen, maybe she'd understand.
But they weren't friends anymore, and Korra couldn't go through with it.
Which meant that Korra was completely alone.
Korra considered going to see Naga, but the last time she saw Naga she was with Asami, and Korra didn't need a reminder of what happened.
Once again she heard her ringtone, and looking at the caller ID, she saw it was her parents and declined again, resuming to staring at Lyla's house.
Maybe I should knock? She revisited the idea. Just for a lack of a better idea?
But what the fuck was she supposed to say? 'Hey Lyla, I know we haven't seen each other in two years and that we used to date but wanna hear about the problems I have with this new girl that hates me and I'm in love with? So basically I slept with her and then she found out that I was only initially interested because I made a bet with my friends that I can get her to sleep with me and now she hates me. Anyways, wanna see my Renegade?'
Yeah, right.
She sighed and leaned backwards on the bench, dropping her head back and looking at the sky.
When did it all go so wrong?
She also gave what Opal and Kya said a lot of thought, about her showing Asami that she had changed, but how? She already changed her contact name, obviously (it was the first thing she did actually) and she already tried to explain, so what else could she do?
She wasn't very optimistic about Asami listening... Even when Korra literally grabbed Hiroshi it was obvious that Asami didn't want to hear anything from Korra ever again. So what now?
Her phone rang again, and Korra groaned in frustration. Sure, it was really fucking late, but can't her parents just catch the damn hint that she wasn't feeling well?
Finally, she decided to answer the phone.
"What?" She snarled.
But the voice that answered wasn't her dad, nor was it her mom. It was a complete stranger.
"Uh, hello? Do you know a young girl with dark wavy hair and green eyes? She's here in the Dancing Ferret bar and she needs someone to take her home."
Korra perked up. "Asami?" She asked.
The person on the other line seemed to have covered the phone with his hand. "Your name is Asami?" Came his muffled voice, and a moment later he replied to Korra's question. "Yep, that's her. She asked me to call for you, can you come?"
Could she? Not really... She knew that bar, it was on the other side of town and Korra didn't even have her license, nor did she know where Jinora lived. It just seemed impossible.
"I'll be right there," she assured, hanging up.
Asami asked this person to call her, she wanted to see Korra. So she had to figure it out because there was no way she was fucking this up.
She checked to make sure she had enough cash for a cab then called for one. When it arrived, she gave the driver the address of the bar and texted her parents that she's fine and that she's gonna be out for a while. Next, she called Jinora. She really hoped Jinora would answer, though it made sense that she wouldn't given that it was the middle of the night and that she probably hated Korra...
"Hello?"
Fucking saint.
"Hey, Jinora?" Korra said. "Can you text me your address? I'm picking Asami up."
"Oh thank god," Jinora breathed out in relief, "where did you find her?"
"She's in a bar, I'm heading there right now," informed Korra.
"She called you? Did you two make up?"
"No," Korra sighed, "I... I don't know why she called me."
"Okay, just let me know when you get there, and if she's okay."
If she was okay, she probably wouldn't have called me... "Sure, I'll keep you updated."
"Thanks, bye."
"Bye."
The rest of the ride went off quietly, Korra anxiously tapping the floor with her foot, checking her phone every few seconds to see if Asami called again. Finally, they reached their destination, and Korra made the driver promise he'd wait there for a moment before entering the bar, hoping that it wouldn't be hard to locate Asami.
It wasn't.
She was literally sitting on the bar, the closest she could possibly be to the entrance, chatting with the bartender. And damn she was wasted.
"Asami?" She asked as softly as she could, approaching the girl.
Asami turned her way, cheeks flushed from alcohol and eyes red, the moment she landed her brilliant green irises on Korra she rolled her eyes, turning to look at the bartender with an accusing glare.
"Her? You called her?" She said, sounding annoyed.
"You literally said 'search Korra on my contact list. I miss her'," the bartender deadpanned.
"Nooo don't tell her that!" Asami buried her face in her palms. "I'll never hear the end of it..."
Korra couldn't help but smile, probably her first smile in the last week. "Hey," she said, getting Asami's attention, "I miss you too."
"What? Pffffft I don't miss you! Get over yourself!" Asami dismissed, shoving Korra away playfully.
Ugh why is drunk Asami this adorable?
"C'mon," Korra nudged, "let's go, I'm taking you to Jinora's place."
"In a feww," Asami waved her off clumsily, "I wanna drink s'more!"
"How much did you drink?" Asked Korra suspiciously.
"I barely drank anything!" Asami exclaimed. "Like, three drinks, tops!"
Korra raised an eyebrow, turning to look at the bartender who shook his furiously.
"Try nine," he said.
Korra turned to look back at Asami with an accusing glare, folding her arms.
"And nine," Asami continued confidently, "is an annoying unround number, so we need to get another drink and round it up to ten!"
"Absolutely not." Korra shook her head. "The only thing you'll be drinking is water."
"You can't tell me what to do!" Asami pouted.
"Jinora is worried," Korra tried guilt tripping her, "she didn't know where you were..."
"She doesn't actually care," Asami shrugged, "nobody does."
Korra's heart ached. "I care." She said softly.
"Yeah right." Grumbled Asami.
Korra pursed her lips together in worry, it hurt her to see Asami like this, and though she didn't know for sure that it was her fault, Korra could make an educated guess.
"The cab is waiting outside," Korra told her, hesitantly placing a hand on Asami's back and rubbing it soothingly, "you think you can walk?"
"Yeah, I am not drunk." Asami declared. And just to emphasize her point she stood up, immediately losing her balance and falling on Korra. Her arms wrapping around Korra's neck, holding onto the tan girl for dear life.
Not that Korra minded.
"M'kay, maybe I am a little drunk," Asami admitted, her voice a pitch higher than usual, "I don't think I can walk like normal humans..."
"It's alright," Korra said gently, "I can carry you, is that okay?"
"Yes please!" Asami squicked out, grinning.
Korra bit back her smile. It was almost like they weren't fighting, like Asami hadn't declared just a few hours prior that she wanted nothing to do with her.
But she did.
"Do you want me to carry you bridal style or...?" Korra trailed off.
"Just pick me up like this asshole," Asami slurred, burying her face in the crook of Korra's neck.
Korra swallowed thickly, slowly and carefully grabbing Asami by her thighs and lifting her up, holding her as closely as she could (what? Who knows when will be the next time Asami would let her near like that again?) And apologizing to the bartender, leaving him a generous tip and heading to the cab, giving him the address that Jinora texted her and stroking Asami's head that was now resting on her shoulder.
"Hey Korra?" Asami said.
"Yes?"
"I hate you."
Korra flinched, hurt and guilt flashing in her eyes, and she looks away. Her hand stops stroking Asami's hair, instead just resting above her head and Korra sighs.
"I know," she said sadly.
"You are the worst."
"I know," she repeated.
Suddenly Asami got up, slapping Korra's shoulder with a scowl.
"Stop agreeing with mee!" She scolded, pouting. "It's not helpinggggg!"
"Ow!" Korra exclaimed. "Then what should I do?"
"Something!" Asami exasperated. "Do something! Anything dammit!"
"What do you- you told me to never contact you again!"
Asami paused, her eyes wide and her eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "I said that?" She asked in shock.
"Yes!" Korra called slowly in disbelief, "twice!"
"Well, sober me is stupid and you shouldn't listen to her," Asami said decisively with her arms crossed.
"I couldn't just completely disregard the fact that you said you never want to see me again," Korra defended herself.
"I dooooo wanna see you again," Asami complained, pouting like a child, "but I also hate youuuu and it's sooooo confusing!"
"Wait..." Korra blinked. "So... You want me around..?" Korra asked, and for the first time in a long time, she was feeling hopeful.
"I don't know!" Asami exclaimed in frustration. "I don't know what I want! And I'm so angry because I trusted you and you were hiding this all along! B-but you did all those other things and everything is such a mess..."
"I'm sorry," Korra said sadly, "I'm so sorry Asami, I never meant for all of this to happen."
Asami sniffled, hugging herself and looking away. "Why would you say that?" Her voice broke. "Do you realize how much it hurts to hear you say that you never wanted any of it to happen?"
"Not like that," Korra said quickly, "hey, Asami," she tried catching her eyes, placing a hand on her lap, "I don't regret being with you, I'll never regret it, okay?"
"I regret it," Asami replied quietly, "sometimes."
That... Wasn't what Korra wanted to hear, and dear god did it hurt. It was to be expected, given how badly Korra fucked it up, but it hurt to know for sure that Asami had regrets about Korra, that Asami wished for none of it to happen, that Asami actually wanted nothing to do with Korra... She couldn't blame her for it, but it still felt like a punch to the face.
"I deserve that," mumbled Korra.
"But then sometimes I wish I wasn't this mad instead." Asami confessed quietly, causing Korra to perk up. "Sometimes I wish I could just go up and kiss you and not feel so betrayed every time I look at you."
A little smile formed on Korra's lips as Asami sighed and leaned against Korra again. That meant that she had a chance, a slim one yes, and she'd have to work hard to earn Asami's trust, but maybe, just maybe, she could do it.
"That's completely understandable," Korra told her, "I get why you feel betrayed, Asami. I did you so, so wrong, and I can't stress enough how sorry I am. But it was all real, everything between us, I promise."
"I bet you say that to all the girls," mumbled Asami.
"No other girls," Korra said assuringly, "no one, just you."
"Yeah, right," she sniffled.
"It is right," Korra pressed on, "I don't blame you for thinking otherwise, but there really aren't any other girls. I don't know if you think the first thing I did after you told me off was to get in bed with some random girl, but it's not. How could I after being with you? No one could even begin to compare."
Pause.
"I won't remember any of this tomorrow morning." Asami declared.
Korra let out a soft chuckle at that. "It's okay," she told Asami, tucking a few dark locks behind her pale ear, "I'll remind you."
Before Asami could say anything, the cab driver cleared his throat and the two turned to him.
"Hate to interrupt your little heart to heart," he said somewhat awkwardly, "but we're here... And have been for the last few minutes or so."
"Oh," Korra blinked, having completely forgotten about his existence in the vehicle, "yeah, sure, let me just call Jinora..."
After letting Jinora know that they were there, Korra thanked the driver and left the cab, picking Asami up bridal style. Jinora met them outside a moment later, eyebrows knitting together in concern when she saw Korra carrying Asami.
"Is she okay?" Jinora asked, worrying her bottom lip.
"I'm fineeeee!" Asami giggled, wrapping her arms around Korra's neck.
"She's not fine," Korra countered, "she drank wayyyy too much."
"Why would you do that?" Jinora scolded.
"That's how I cope!" Asami replied, emphasizing the 'p'. "Drinking feelings away!"
"Not a great idea," Korra mumbled as the three started walking inside.
"I got that at home," Asami informed, "my dad drinks too."
At that, Jinora froze, turning to look at Asami wide eyed. Korra however, wasn't surprised in the slightest and sighed. Of course he's an alcoholic, is there anything bad that asshole doesn't do?
"He drinks a lot," Asami continued babbling on, "that's why he is the way he is."
Once again, Jinora seemed baffled by Asami's drunk word vomit, and once again, Korra wasn't surprised at all.
"You shouldn't learn stuff from him," she told Asami as softly as she could, "he is literally the worst."
"Mm," hummed Asami, nuzzling herself into Korra's shoulder, "I'm sleepy..." She complained.
"C'mon, let's get you to bed," she smiled to herself, "where to?" She asked Jinora.
Jinora snapped back to reality, not saying a word and leading them to what was seemingly the guest room. Jinora didn't enter it (she was in a weird haze actually, Korra wasn't sure what that was about) so Korra carried Asami inside on her own, slowly and cautiously placing her on the bed.
"So uh..." Korra rubbed the back of her neck nervously. "I think I'm gonna go now... Sleep tight..?"
"Korra wait." Asami called after her when she turned around to leave, and Korra froze in her tracks, glancing over her shoulder to look at Asami, who was playing with her fingers nervously, her expression sheepish.
"Please..." She said in a pleading voice. "Stay? At least until I fall asleep..?"
And how could Korra say no to such a plea?
She inhaled deeply, and the exhale that followed came out in a shudder as she walked to the bed,standing a safe distance away.
"What are you doing?" Asami asked, eyebrows furrowed together.
"Uh... Being respectful?" Korra asked more than answered.
"Whatever. If you're already standing can you bring me my pajamas?" Asami asked with a toothy grin. "I'm still in my jeans." She gestures to her legs.
Korra nodded. "Where are they?"
"In my suitcase," Asami informed, pointing at the suitcase which Korra recognized from across the room. She walked up to it, browsing through it and only stopping when she landed eyes on a pair of lacy underwear, more specifically the ones Asami wore when they slept together.
Did she pack those for me? She wondered, and her heart ached at the idea that Asami was thinking about her like this when Korra wasn't even being honest with her.
I really am an asshole aren't I?
Korra mentally slapped herself in the face. No feeling guilty right now, not when Asami was right there and actually willing to communicate with me. She could feel guilty later and cry herself to sleep or something. Currently she had more urgent business to attend to.
She was able to locate Asami's pajamas (alpaca pajamas by the way, adorable) and with a sigh she got up and turned around, only to find Asami sitting on the bed completely shirtless.
She had never spun around so fast in her life, her face burning hot and her eyes wide. Holy shit, that just happened.
"What?" Asami called from behind her, sleepy and confused. "It's nothing you haven't seen before."
"I feel like the setting was different." Mumbled Korra, flustered. "A-also I don't want you to think that I'm only here because I'm horny... Because It's not why I'm here."
"Then why are you here?" She questioned.
"I already told you why, it's because I love you," Korra said softly.
Silence.
"Yeah, right." Answered Asami, and Korra could practically hear the eye roll in her tone. "Just throw the pajamas here dumbass."
So Korra threw it over her shoulder, hoping it would get to the bed. It probably did because Asami stayed quiet for a few seconds while Korra refused to turn around because she was being respectful.
Asami cleared her throat. "I'm decent now," she declared loudly.
Korra turned around awkwardly, unsure of what to do with herself. Asami was sitting on bed, pouting. Then, she extended her hands forward. "Cuddles." She commanded child-like.
Korra bit back a smile, walking towards the bed and joining Asami there, who wasted no time and immediately grabbed Korra's arm, cuddling it close.
Korra chuckled, bringing her free hand to Asami's hair, her fingers stroking it softly, making Asami hum in approval.
"I'll get you back Sami," she whispered after a few moments, "I promise."
"You better..." Mumbled Asami, clearly half asleep already.
It didn't take Asami long to fall asleep entirely, and Korra sighed. She slowly and carefully got herself out of Asami's grip. Asami's eyebrows clenched together and she let out a sleepy, disapproving sigh before stirring away from Korra.
She smiled, leaning down to the sleeping girl and placing a kiss on her temple, causing Asami to sigh. Then, she stood up and headed outside. As much as she wanted to stay, Asami probably wouldn't appreciate it if she woke up next to Korra after being drunk beyond belief the night before. So she left the room, eyebrows shooting up when she saw Jinora sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall and staring at the ceiling, seemingly deep in thought.
"Did you stay here the entire time we were inside?" Korra asked, embarrassed.
"He's hitting her," Jinora said, lowering her head to look at Korra, "isn't he?"
Oh.
"...How did you know?" Korra asked quietly.
With the affirmation, Jinora dropped her gaze to the ground, letting out a shaky breath. "I-I always knew Asami had PTSD..." She murmured. "I just thought it w-was because of her mother... And then she asked to stay here and told me she can't go home..." Her bottom lip quivered as Korra sat down, looking at her with concern. "I knew something was off but I didn't..." Her voice broke.
Korra placed a soothing hand on Jinora's shoulder, not knowing what else to do. She understood exactly what Jinora was feeling, she felt it too when she just found out. But what to say to make it better? That was still an enigma to her.
"He drinks a lot," Jinora quoted Asami, "that's why he is the way he is. She said that and it all finally fell into place." Jinora sniffled. "How come I didn't notice? Why didn't she ever tell me?"
"She didn't tell me either," Korra said quietly, smiling sadly, "I had to walk in on it to understand. You're actually really smart for figuring it out on your own."
"What are we supposed to do?" Jinora asked, her eyes glassy with tears.
"She doesn't want to press charges," Korra informed, "so we just keep her safe, we have to keep her safe."
At that, Jinora broke into sobs. She surged forward into a hug, burying her face into Korra's shoulder and crying into it, her hands fisting into the fabric of Korra's shirt.
"You saved my baby girl." Her voice was shaky and laced with tears. "Thank you. Thank you so much."
"It's going to be okay," Korra said soothingly, embracing Jinora, "it's over, she's going to be just fine."
"How can you know that?" Jinora choked out between sobs.
"Because I'm never going to let anything happen to her." Korra said, determined and confident.
Nothing will ever happen to Asami.
And I will be in her life to make sure of that.