...
"Silence is not empty, it is full of answers"
...
"I wish I could be by your side for a really long time but it's a shame that God wants you back" Jin mutters under his breath.
"But I'm thankful for your presence in my life all these time. In the next life let's meet as a friend again. I will take care of you well. I'm so sorry for not being there with you for the last time, I wish I could, I wish I at least replied to your text that night"
"I'm sorry"
Wiping his falling tears, Jin braces himself with the cold truth of the reality where human is just a mortal.
At least being a mortal is good. A mental note on his mind, he will make sure the man who drunk driving spends his life awfully in that prison.
That man killed a person, the only son of a single mother, the only friend of his.
In the end, after spending almost two hours at the cemetery, Jin decided to go back to the dorm. It is almost five in the morning. The practice will start at 7.30.
...
As expected the whole dorm is quiet when he is at home. They already in their dreamland so Jin, without making much noise, he straight away went to his room, taking a warm shower before heading to bed.
What Jin didn't expect is to be yelled at when he woke up in the morning after two hours of sleeping. They always gathered at the living room before coming down at the parking lot of where their vehicles are.
He didn't expect to be yelled at when he meet them at the living room. What is the reason of him to be yelled at? Why? He surely didn't do anything wrong.
"Where were you last night?" Namjoon asks.
That is not the tone Namjoon usually used when he is speaking to someone. That is the tone that he use when he is annoyed.
"I... why?" Jin asks back, completely clueless of what is happening.
"I told you, you and Jungkook need to be at the recording room to record the new song after the practice but only Jungkook showed up last night" Namjoon says.
Okay now what? Jin is sure he knows nothing about that.
"And when did you tell me that?" Jin asks again.
"I told you after the dance practice last night" Namjoon says.
"Exactly. You gives me a short notice and you expect me to cancel my plan over the last minute?" Jin replies.
"It's your job" Namjoon states.
"I don't live my life forever as Bangtan's Jin. Before Bangtan's Jin, there is Kim Seokjin" Jin presses his words.
Frequently they forget about that. When it comes to Jin everyone take it easy as if he isn't matter. Jin already know that his presence in the group is already small with or without him everything will run smoothly.
But to think back, there's no performance of Jin not being there as Bangtan. Really. Even Yoongi, Namjoon and others at least once not being there in the performance but Jin, he was never absent in any of their performance.
Not when his grandmother left for the world, not when his pets left for the world and not even when his only best friend left the world.
Maybe because everyone sees Jin as an easy target that every small detail they pointed out at him like the dance move. Just because he is Jin.
"Where were you last night?" Namjoon asks or more like demanding for an answer.
A sigh left Jin's mouth. He knows Namjoon will continue asking him the same question again and again until he finally answer the question.
"I was visiting my friend..." Jin says.
It was at that moment Jin didn't expect even a bit to see not only Namjoon but the others being mad at him simply because he was visiting a friend after his schedule.
"How irresponsible you are to meet your friend when we are busy preparing for the new album? What the joke are you pulling on us? You're the oldest, you should know better than to hang out with your friend while preparing for the new album" Namjoon snaps at him.
Jin knows the burden on his shoulders are weighing him down but that is not the excuse for any of them to accuse things on him.
"What the hell do you want from me? I went out after I finished my schedule. You should tell me of when you need me to be in the studio earlier, not giving me a last minute notice when I already planned my things" Jin says trying to keep himself calm.
"I understand if you went home to meet your family. I understand if it's a family matter like the last time but no, you're not out for family matter but rather meeting a friend? Does that friend matter so much to you?" Namjoon says out loud.
Jin becoming quiet. They know when Jin is quiet during the argument, he is really holding himself from being mad. You see, Jin is not the type to get mad but when he did, you will never get ease being around him.
Jin looks to the other members who are staying quiet without saying anything. Why aren't they saying anything? Namjoon is pointing everything on him so why are they staying quiet? Jin's patient grows thinner. No one steps in to help him.
They choose to stay silent.
Once they choose to stay silent in any slanted situation, that's the time when everything becomes wrong.
They know damn well about the imbalance but they choose to stay silent because there's nothing they gain for their own damn self. Because the one they choose to stand up for is the only one that gets the benefits.
If that is what on their mind, they are wrong for the life time. Their words could makes someone's life better, their words could have make someone's day, their words could have save someone's life.
Save Jin.
Right. Their words could have save everything. As much as words could destroy someone's life, words could also save life.
Was the reason someone choose to stay silent in that situation because they are afraid that someone will outshine them?
Or was it because they are afraid that they will be in the same position as that person screaming out for some help?
Think and act. They didn't think and act. They rush to attack him. Bullets passed through him making holes everywhere. Words hurt.
"Answer me, was that damn friend of yours is everything in your life?" Namjoon demands.
"What will you do if I said yes?" Jin challenges him.
"Who is this friend of yours? Don't tell me you're meeting a partner behind our back when the reporters are everywhere following us. Are you waiting for things to blow up and what we've been built for years ruined? Are you trying to ruin us?" Namjoon asks, his tone is so annoying to Jin's ears.
So Namjoon has speak up his mind. He sees Jin as a person that is trying to ruin what they've built so far.
"Answer the damn question!"
This time Jin looks straight to their eyes, specifically to Namjoon's eyes. He didn't even get enough sleep, he didn't get to lay his tired body on the soft bed or even couch but they're trying to test his limit.
The moment Namjoon asks the same question again, Jin walks closer to Namjoon, eyes never broke the contact.
His hand is itching to punch the leader but at the same time he is overwhelm by the sudden epiphany that his members see him as nothing more than a person to ruin the group.
"I was meeting Seungyeon. He is matter to me. Before I met you, before I met all of you Seungyeon existed first in my life. Kim Seokjin met Yoon Seungyeon first before he met all of you. Know your place when you're speaking to me. I'm not the person you can step on whenever you want" Jin replies in his cold tone.
He dashed out from the dorm right after saying those words leaving them speechless, frozen in their place.
Words died down. They all know who was Seungyeon. They all know who's Seungyeon to Jin. They all know what happened to Seungyeon.
...
"Are you trying to ruin us?"
Jin couldn't get those words out of his mind. They see him nothing more than a parasite to their life. Why are words hurt so much? Is this fair to feel this useless?
Jin wipes his tears aggressively. Where are the members? They wanted him to be at the company's building but they're not even here yet. Why are they wasting time?
The moment the door to the practice room is being opened, the moment they stepped in they shivers from the atmosphere surrounding the practice room. Why it is so different from their past atmosphere? Is it because of what Jin said at the dorm?
Jin waited for the exact five minutes as the members are warming up their self before he starts playing the new song they've been practicing for the new comeback. Yes, he is rushing them, he didn't care. He just wants the day to finish early for him to disappear from them.
You see, Jin was never an irresponsible person. He knows if he slacks off the people around him will be affected.
Hours passed, they called it a day. Quickly Jin gathers his things while grabbing his car keys trying to walk pass them, out from the room. When he was a step away from going out.
Jimin grabs his left wrist, stopping Jin from moving but Jin is not buying that. He wants to stay away from them, at least for sometime alone. There's so much things in his mess up mind. He wants to get away, to take a break from those thoughts especially that one sentence, "Are you trying to ruin us?"
Pushing Jimin's hand away, Jin leaves the room straight away to his car.
He wants to go home. There's no one at his home. His brother and sister are not living in there. His parents is out of the country for a short trip. There's no one at his home. The right place that is out of the public eyes to be alone.
Pressing the pedal, Jin drives away from the company's building to his home.
...
I'm back, truthfully I thought I've been away for quite a while but it turned out I've only been away for 18days 😂 How was the chapter? Do leave your thought, I would like to read them ✨