(Author's Note: I have no idea who their DADA teacher was since there's is no record of who it is, so I will be using Professor Patricia Rakepick as their professor. This little bit won't even matter in this ff but I just wanted to let yall have an idea. I know she was the DADA in 1989 which is past their time, but pretend that bit doesn't exist lol)
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Cerise had finished her last class of the day which was Defense, a class she hated very much. Professor Rakepick wasn't that bad of a teacher, it was just the fact that all the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff boys drooling over her made it hard to learn. Sirius and James being a few of them. She thought back on their conversation in the class.
"You have to admit, she's fit." James nudged Cerise who was on the left of him. Sirius was at her left and leaned over to join the conversation.
"She looks like an older version of Evans. No wonder Prongs likes her so much." Sirius snarled, getting a laugh out of Cerise.
"Hey, a pretty girl is a pretty girl." James stretched out and put his hands behind his head before yawning, which eventually turned into him yelling.
"Mr. Potter!" Rakepick slammed her hand against the chalkboard.
"Ahh, I love it when you say my name." James leaned forward blinking his eyelashes repeatedly. She threw a book at him. He ducked. Cerise fell back onto Sirius as they were roaring from laughter.
She pointed the ruler in her hand at the three students. "5 points from Gryffindor for each of you!"
Sirus and Cerise still snickering to each other as James sighed.
"She rejects me just like Evans too."
———— ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ ————
It was December 5th, 1976, and even though the summer season should've been over it was tremendously hot that day. Even though she was on the brink of passing out, she still refused to wear anything but long sleeves, which was her friend group's main discussion in the Gryffindor common room.
"Wear a shirt for Merlin's sake, Rein." Marlene fanned herself due to exhaustion.
Lily tugged on the girl's sleeve making her turn to the side. She noticed the girl was clearly hot, but she refused to admit it. "You're weird, C."
"I think it's a family gene." Alice twiddled the quill in her hand, "I saw Juno wearing a sweatshirt too. Mental I'm telling you."
"It's not that hot." Cerise lied. It was tremendously hot. She just loathed wearing anything that showed her skin and not because people would see her, but what truths would be revealed if it ever happened. She touched the inner part of her elbow through her shirt.
She checked the time and realized it was getting late and she had promised herself to study in the library. She could've stayed in her dorm and studied since her roommates, Lily, Marlene, Alice, and Robin were fairly calm at night, opposite from the Marauders, but she liked the ambiance and beauty of the library. She finished her conversation with the girls, left the common room, and headed down.
Perks of being sixth years meant their curfew was 11 pm, but that didn't stop Cerise to stay out past that. She seldom got caught by Filtch or any professors, and this year she fully believed she would never get in trouble since Lily and Remus were the Prefects for Gryffindor. Lily disliked her sneaking out, but she would never rat out her friend, which was a promise Cerise will continue holding her up on. Cerise had been a bit clumsy and was spotted by Remus once or twice, but he would always turn a blind eye and let her be. She promised to stay at the library until she finished all her work and did a fair amount of studying and research, but she knew that would take hours as she got distracted very easily.
She got to the library and it was dead quiet. Only a few murmurs here and there from a group of second-year Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws, but she knew they would eventually leave since their curfew was about to begin. She walked deeper into the magnificent building, their voice dimming out, and just like that, she couldn't hear a single soul. She disliked it. A downside of being at the library alone meant she was alone with her thoughts. She was so used to the noise. She felt a shiver down her spine when the loudest thing she could hear was her fingers brushing against the line of books to her side as she walked.
Her home away from Hogwarts was always noisy. Her half-blood father and pureblood mother used to be happy. It wasn't like they despised each other, it was just happy-adjacent. She'd discussed with her brother how it felt that the only time their parents would ever talk to each other was when the two would come home for break, but every time one of them would bring it up, they would deny.
She picked out a few books, walked around admiring the structure of the building, and took a seat at a table by herself in between two tall shelves of books next to a wide window that looked out to the Quad. She looked around at the library. The pillars in the wall looked so simple from afar, but as you got closer you could see the intricate designs sketched into each one. The patience and dedication to create a whole building of these designs, for it to be barely admired in the future by its users made Cerise frown. She decided she would praise it for the artist and even if she was just one person, she hoped her admiration for it was enough. She starred around, admiring the structure, the moving paintings, and the ceiling-high bookshelves, before sighing in satisfaction. She turned and her smile turned crooked as she looked at her work. She began to read.
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Remus had dropped off a few of his books in his room and headed down to the library. It was one of his favorite places in the whole castle, away from any disturbing noise or burden he had to endure through most of his day.
He walked into the library and took a deep breath in, causing a few stares from the librarian. He loved the smell of old book pages. He was exhausted from the anticipation of what he was going to have to endure tomorrow night, and it was killing him. He had joked about not needing James earlier in the day, but he knew that was far from the truth. James had the largest animgus out of all of his friends, a stag. Remus was nervous about tomorrow. He wasn't scared of hurting Sirius and Peter because he's never done it before, rather he was anxious about anyone hearing his transformation. The quidditch pitch and the shrieking shack were on the same side of the school, and thinking about the chances of someone catching him made him itch. He had zoned out thinking about the possibilities and realized he had been staring at a large shelf of books.
He shuffled the books he already had in his hand and walked deeper into the library and spotted the back of her short black hair, dark red strands seeping through. She was rubbing her forehead waving her wand at a floating book that was a little higher than her head, her unfinished Alchemy homework staring at her.
As she expected, she'd gotten bored pretty quickly. She finished the majority of her homework and researched a bunch of assignment she had to do, but refused to finish Alchemy. She had been practicing a nonverbal spell out of boredom when Remus slowly placed his hand on hers sending a shock through her spine. She came out of hard concentration losing hold of the book. Quickly, she stood up and grabbed it with her other hand, trying not to make a sound. She turned to see Remus's hand still on hers, both of them red. Remus didn't notice as he was too busy paying attention to how close they were to each other, her shoulder pressed against his chest. He stared down at the girl, before stepping back, noticing a strong scent of cookies on her.
"Sorry! I didn't mean to." He whispered.
"What'd I say about sorry, Moony." She lowered her hand down and dropped the book onto the table slowly. She turned to him still leaning on the table. "What do all four of your nicknames mean anyway?"
He rubbed the back of his neck without even noticing. "Uh- t-they symbolize our patronuses." He thought on the spot. It wasn't an entire lie.
She nodded in satisfaction. "So yours-?"
"Uh- a wolf."
"Prongs?"
"A stag."
She tilted her head in confusion before Remus brought up two fingers to his head signifying antlers.
"Ahh. Padfoot?"
"A dog. And Wormtail's a rat."
"That makes more sense." She said as she began to ponder why Remus's would be "Moony." A moon? Why would that correlate? Unless it meant werewolf but how would that-
"S-so what's your patronus?" Remus blurted out suspending her thoughts.
"Oh! It's a hippogriff." She said finally sitting back into her chair. She rubbed her inner part of her elbow. Remus's eyes widen as he took the chair next to her.
"R-really? That's actually cool." He said. Great. Another reason to admire her more.
"So I've been told," Cerise giggled facing Remus as she crossed her arms and shrugged, "I've never had to use it since I found out, and people always found it rather silly, but yeah I'm happy with it."
"I'm serious! Having a patronus that's a magical creature is pretty rare and can mean loyalty and strength." Remus said rapidly while dancing his feet excitedly, his two hands gripping the edge of his chair. Cerise relished in his giddiness.
"It's adorable how exciting you're getting over that." She smirked. Remus hid his face that was now turning red.
"W-what are you doing out past curfew?" Remus choked out, running his hands nervously thru his hair.
"I've just been reading and finishing homework. I've been here for hours I think," She looked out to see the sun set quite some time ago, confirming that she'd been for a long time. "I got distracted, as you could've guessed." She nodded over at the book that had just been floating in the air. "What's your excuse? You come here to give detentions to wandering students like myself?" She eyed him.
He denied. "Wanted to get some quiet time away from the boys. James has been freaking out about his upcoming game, while Peter's been loudly helping Sirius practice his commentary."
"Oh, I forgot he'd become the commentator. Sucks I'm going to be missing that." She laughed.
"Same." He chuckled. They both stayed silent. Remus knew Cerise was looking for an answer as to why he'd be absent tomorrow, as they both knew Remus loved supporting his friends. He couldn't think of one that would make sense, so he felt it would be better to just stay silent. He looked around a bit looking for the librarian, who he figured forgot to do a wide search for hiding students such as themselves.
"You wanna get out of here?" He turned to Cerise when he saw the coast was clear.
"Why? Cause we're out past curfew and you don't want to get caught?" She eyed him.
"No, we'd still be breaking curfew," he winked, "just out of this library, somewhere else. This place is boring me a little bit." He leaned back into his chair, still facing her. She gasped.
"You? Bored because of this library? What happened to the goody-two shoes prefect that you are?" She leaned forward. Remus shrugged. They stared at each other, Remus staring at her soft lips, smiling. Then it hit him. He's alone with the girl he's admired since his first year in a quiet library. He wondered if she could hear his rapidly beating heart, cause he sure could. Just the two of them. He wanted to lean forward. Maybe it was the Gryffindor in him, but everything in his body screaming for him to lean forward, a blaring voice in his head was saying otherwise.
You don't deserve it. She doesn't even like you.
How would she like you? How would she ever like what you are?
Monster.
Filth.
A nuisance to society.
Cerise thought otherwise. She wanted to know him. Not just know him as she did now, but to know everything about him. Being with him felt just right. Perfect almost. Cerise felt different with him. Dizzy. If nothing was ever going to happen between them, she'd still be happy with just friends.
"C'mon," she grabbed his hand and dragged him out of the library. "Let's get out of here."
He stumbled a little before matching her speed. He gripped her hand tightly and scurried along her side out of the library.
The librarian peaked out of her desk, watching the kids run out. She sighed. "Young love."
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Remus was sitting down criss-cross in the quidditch pitch picking grass out and tossing it behind him. A broom was thrown in front of him and he looked up to see Cerise holding her own broom, having tied her hair in a messy bun. He blushed.
"Where'd you even get this?" Remus asked, standing up.
"It's Alice's. She never uses it so I figured she'd be good with borrowing it." She placed her chin onto the top of her own broom.
"I suck at flying."
"I'll teach you."
"Are you even good at flying? I've never seen you fly," Remus sarcastically chimed, tilted his head. She laughed, gliding her tongue along the top part of her teeth.
She pinched her nose and as quickly as she could, she took off on her broom. She flew up near the towers and around the seating area. She flew low, the grass moving in the direction of the wind. She hadn't flown in a while. She originally wanted to try out for the quidditch team but realized it was too much for her. Remus adored the smile that he could see on her face. Her hair blowing as she raced in the air.
Before he could realize she flew down right in front of him. She was upside down on her broom, the adrenaline and blood rushing to her head as she was laughing. She didn't notice, but their faces were inches apart from each other. His face was red from the heat of the summer but became redder at how he could see every inch of her face. He studied the girl. Her hair falling down from her bun, which was a second away from releasing its hold. The bridge of her nose was more highlighted than the rest, while the top of it had a reddish tint to it. He would've counted how many freckles were on her cheeks if she hadn't flipped right side up and jumped off the broom.
"Wow," Remus said, staring straight at the girl, gobsmacked. "Y'know, the quidditch team could use you. You're amazing."
She laughed. "Which is why I'm a perfect teacher for you." Remus scratched the back of his neck. Remus nodded before Cerise rolled her eyes.
"You know you do that when you're nervous?" She said mimicking him as she itched the back of her neck. He quickly put his hand down and scoffed. He threw the broom in his hand up and down before looking at Cerise. Cerise motioned her hand forward. He sighed and got onto the broom. He dug his feet into the grass and pushed off. He shot up into the air, wobbling at how fast he had gotten up. He hadn't been on a broom and overestimated himself. Shortly, Cerise popped up next to him. She chortled as he gripped the broom tightly, looking down at the ground. He flew around a bit, getting used to the speed. He actually enjoyed it, but that was cut short. His muscles started weakening.
"You okay, Lupin?" Cerise moved closer to him. He felt himself feeling lightheaded. The rush he'd been feeling by spending time with Cerise came to a stop as he got higher up in the air. The moon's aura and possession over him began to overwhelm him. Cerise moved to the left of him, placing one hand on his right shoulder and held the top of the broom with her other as she could tell something was up. He laid his head onto the crevice of her shoulder trying to keep himself from falling.
Remus... He heard Cerise whispering to him. He felt himself gaining some strength as he felt Cerise bringing both of them near the ground.
Remus... Remus!
He looked up to see his face was once again inches away from Cerise. Once he realized what was happening he tried to stand up forgetting he was on a broom. Instead, he accidentally pushed himself higher into the air breaking from Cerise. She stumbled, shocked by the sudden burst of energy. He, on the other hand, was panicking as he zoomed around the quidditch pitch, forgetting how to stop. He liked the wind in his face, but the feeling he got from the moon and the rush of adrenaline he was getting from the current situation did not go well together. Out of panic, he moved his body facing downward and started flying down very abruptly.
Cerise flew down to where it looked like he would land. She looked up a bit but he wasn't above her anymore. Instead, she felt a sudden pang come from her side and stumbled into the grass, Remus falling next to her. He groaned as he sat up. It took him a few seconds to process what happened, before cringing in embarrassment as he realized. He frantically turned to find Cerise and apologize, before he spotted her to his far-right, hysterically roaring. He sighed to see she wasn't hurt before groaning again as he fell on his back onto the ground looking up.
He stared at the moon. Why did a small ball in the sky affect him so much? Why him? He touched his scar. A constant reminder that he could never escape what he truly was. He heard someone plop down next to him. He turned to see her staring up at the stars, the grass rustling from the wind, and the small vibration from her running her hands through the grass shook him in a good way.
Cerise admired the stars. She always wished she took Astronomy class. She wanted to be able to look at the glistening specs in the sky and know what they mean. Why they are what they are. By themselves they meant nothing, but together they could decide someone's whole life. Love, happiness, wealth. She wanted to be one of those people. The ones who dedicated their whole belief of life to the little particles.
Remus felt jealous of how she looked at the sky and it didn't make her weak. He wanted to be able to view the starry night as she did. He wondered what she was thinking at that moment. If she were wondering the same thing, which was unlikely, all he would be able to admit is that she clouded his mind. Over the last few months ever since sixth year started he'd gotten out of his shell more. He knew it had to do with her. He didn't judge. He liked it very much.
"You should've told me you were feeling ill," Cerise said suddenly touching the inner part of her elbow, "I took you out here without even asking you if you wanted to." She felt a knot tie in her stomach. She wondered if her spontaneous attitude went overboard.
"You kidding? I haven't felt that type of rush in a while!" He threw his hands out reassuring her. He turned to look at her, who was already staring at him. "Thank you," He said.
"For what?"
"Just... Being you. Being here. With me. Even though I don't deserve it, I really needed it."
"Hey, stop saying you don't deserve shit. If I hear you say that again I'll smack you square in the face." Cerise raised her hand. Remus laughed.
"Hey, I'm serious! I'll always be so grateful to have become closer with you this year since having you in my life has made it tremendously better. You're one of the greatest friends I've ever had. You saying you don't deserve anything hurts because you deserve so much happiness in your life. I can't even explain how amazing and ethereal you are it's just- blah!" She said staring at the castle, flaring her arms up. She meant every word. Her life was so dull before meeting the Marauders. She can't imagine her life going any different.
Remus felt his heart flutter. He could tell she was serious, and it scared him. The hope of something being there scared him. The fantasy that they'd become more than friends became more real to him every day, but he couldn't bear the idea of ever hurting Cerise. The more he spent time with her, the more his feelings became clear. He wondered if it was so bad to feel. He wondered if it was wrong. He rubbed his eyes before feeling them. His scars.
Monster.
Filth.
Running his fingers in the small gashes of his face made his skin crawl. He shuttered. Cerise noticed. She took his hand from his face and placed it down.
"Another thing I've noticed is you touch your scars when something's wrong," She placed her hand on his, "See, I confided. You can tell me how you got that, or not but whatever happened probably took a lot of fo strength to overcome, so I'm glad you did." She released her hand from the top of his and checked his micro-expressions to see if she had pushed any buttons of his.
He stared at her eyes. A strange sense of empathy came from her eyes. He hesitated, then smiled. "You mean a lot to me, Bug. I want you to know that. When I'm with you-," he paused, thinking about his choice of words, "when I'm with you and the marauders, I can be myself. That's something I've struggled with for a long time. Accepting who I am. Maybe one day I will tell you about my scar, but for now, I'll leave you wondering." He winked at her, receiving a playful punch in return.
"A-and I've always wanted to be friends with you, but I never had the chance to talk to you. I'm glad we have time now. You're a person who gives so much to me and never asks for anything in return. It's honestly scary and overwhelming in a good way. And-," he stared at the girl, the source of his infatuation. She was so close. She could feel his breath on her. She came to an overdue realization.
She wanted to kiss him.
The same idea popped into his head. He has just been vulnerable in front of someone who wasn't one of the Marauders, and she didn't judge him. He wondered if telling her what he was would get a similar reaction. He wondered if she would still see him as the same person.
Whenever he told someone, the majority of them would stop hanging out with him, which Remus understood, so he never fought them about it. But with Cerise, it was different. He's terrified of losing her. He wanted to know if she reciprocated his feelings. He couldn't just plain out ask her. He thought more about it.
When it came to girls, a Liquid Luck potion probably wouldn't be sufficient enough for his lack of understanding of the opposite sex.
That's when he heard it once more.
Monster.
Filth.
He couldn't. He couldn't bring her into his life anymore. The chance of losing her or hurting her scared terrified him to the fullest extent. He couldn't keep away from her, and it was putting her in danger. He got up and cleaned himself. He nervously reached his hand out to Cerise, who was confused but grabbed it. He pulled her up.
"We should get back," He finally finished his sentence. He had forgotten what he originally was going to say, which he didn't think was such a bad thing. If she let him ramble a little more he would've accidentally opened a can of worms he was not ready to let out.
She widened her eyes. Had she done something wrong to make him want to go back? She felt the energy around them shift, but she didn't say anything and nodded to him as they started walking. She looked at the stars once more. If she could understand what they meant, she wondered if they could tell her what this all meant. Neither of them wanted to go back, but Remus felt guilty holding her with him for so long.
He didn't want to admit it to anyone, especially himself, but he was bewildered. Starstruck. Captivated by her. He would do anything to have his feelings reciprocated. It would be a dream come true. But after each day passes, his dream starts to feel more like a reality, and although he would like that very much, nightmares are still dreams. After tomorrow he'll promise himself to keep a distance from her. Maybe they could go back to just friends, and not- whatever their relationship was.
But as he gazed at the girl, who ran her fingers thru her hair, the burning feeling in his heart and the knot in his stomach was telling him it was okay to feel. He however ignored those feelings. He held her other hand, the cold sensation from her rings gave him a tender shock up his arm.
Tomorrow, he promised to himself.
But it wasn't tomorrow yet.