Luna Larsson
The air was tight when I walked into the house, with a hammering heartbeat in my chest, my head filled with tension and fuming thoughts. It didn't take me long to run into a familiar face in the hallway, the face that had made me smile while my asshole of a boyfriend only caused me tears. He walked my way with a sincere and determined expression on his face. "Where is he?" I unwillingly snapped at him, throwing my anger at the wrong person. He sighed deeply, his hazel eyes soft and pleading me not to ask again, but what choice did I have? "Where is Zander!?" I repeated, my tone brutal even though he was the last person I wanted to attack, quite the opposite even. "Martin! I'm serious!" I begged him, looking up at him and the damage on his face and my fingers instantly tingled to reach up and stroke the purple on his cheeks and the cut on his lip, but now was not the time. He sighed again, obviously conflicted for some reason.
He bit his lip, trying to hold back his words, while his eyes told me so much, and when he reached out for me and delicately laced his fingers around mine a rush of calm washed over me. "Luna." His tone softly begged me, sad almost. His eyes intensely held me, his hand felt nice, too nice, and that reminded me why I was here. I want this. I wanted to think of the word nice and loving when someone touched me, to feel my heart skip when my eyes catch that special someone, that was why I was here... To not feel guilty about feeling that way. My eyes involuntary closed when his thumb caressed mine and it made my skin feel hot. "I don't-" His soft whisper faded when I pulled my hand from his, and he shook his head with frustration. I need to find him.
"Fine! I'll ask someone else..." I shrugged my shoulders. It was simple, tell me where Zander is and I would finally get to deal with all the other feelings I'm struggling with, even though the struggle was sweet. Without saying another word, I made my way into the living room, bumping into people on my quest to find my boyfriend and confront him with his lies. I didn't see him, but I saw two guys I knew for sure knew Zander. I stomped over to them, they were playing a round of beer pong while I felt a handsome shadow follow me. "Ezra, have you seen Zander?" I snapped, turning him around by his arm and he was clearly half-drunk and speechless. He looked at Levi next to him before pinning his eyes on Jules behind me. I turned around and none of this made sense. Ezra is all talk and now he decides to shut up! Great.
While all three of them eyeing at each other, I knew my best chance was to dead stare Ezra. "Luna, we can't say..." Levi sighed deeply, not even having the guts to look at me and I stopped him with a scoff.
"Let me guess, you can't tell me because of your stupid little bro-code! What about other people you're hurting with it. I know he kissed some girl last week, I know that's probably not all of it." I yelled, gathering a little too much attention from the people surrounding us. "Grow the fuck up!" I yelled once more, not bothered by the embarrassment. "I get it, he's your pal, your fucking brother, your captain, but I need to see him. You know more about this and you're all a bunch of dicks for not telling me!" I went off, scowling at them. "All of you!" I turned around to face Jules and he instantly frowned with worry, looking upset and disappointed.
"He's upstairs." Ezra sighed, lowering his gaze to the floor. Upstairs? At a party he's upstairs? I already have a feeling where this is going... Fuck.
"Idiot!" Levi scoffed at him for growing a pair and telling me.
"What! We're fucked anyway." He shook his head and I just wanted not to slap him for once, because at least he was honest.
"Thanks Ezra." I swallowed hard, and when I turned around I heard Levi's voice pull me back.
"Luna, he's not alone." He whispered with a sheepish look on his face.
"I already figured." I whispered, the sound of my heart breaking, louder than my words and it took everything not to break down in the middle of the living room. I swallowed all the sadness and heartache away, only room for me and my anger while I turned around and passed Jules, bumping into his shoulder because I couldn't understand why he would protect Zander, he of all people. I quickly paced towards the staircase, my hands balled in fists and if he was doing what I think he was, I was going to use them. If he's hooking up with some girl in his room, he's going to regret it.
"Luna!" Jules yelled, before passing me and blocking my way upstairs, his hand on the railing and his other against the wall.
"Get out of my way!" I looked at him and instantly felt sorry, because the look on his face was one only filled with worry. "Please!" I raised my voice while my anger was boiling more and more. I don't have time for this bullshit.
I tried to step aside and duck underneath his posture, but halfway through he swung his arm around my waist and held me close, my thoughts instantly calm like I was in the eye of the storm. I stood one step above him and still the height difference was present, but now my line of sight had perfect view of his lips and my heart was already throbbing fast at the thought of him being this close. I took a deep breath while I was mesmerized by the gold and green specks in his eyes, so much so I forgot where I was going. My fingers reached for his flannel shirt as I studied the rest of his face, yet another baseball cap from his collection keeping his messy hair in check. "Stop protecting him." My own whisper reminded me where I was headed, but his hands on my waist kept me here with him, close and comfortable. "Please." I whimpered.
"I'm n-n-not." He stuttered a little while the sound of his voice made me melt, instantly making me long to hear it again. He shook his head, conflicted and frustrated, his hands softly squeezing my sides. Talk please. Please. The way the pressure in my waist, caused by his hands, and his hands only, made my entire body tingle and shiver, was exactly the reason I needed to take a few more steps upstairs. I needed to see my boyfriend, I needed him to not be my boyfriend anymore, now I was sure of it. I deserve something like this. I felt my eyes glimmer at the thought and the sight of the hazel-eyed hockey player before me. I need to do something first.
My hands traveled up to the collar of his shirt, grabbing it to pull his face closer, his lips parting the second I did and god this was tempting, even more when one of his hands moved to the small of my back, pulling me even closer. I'm sorry. I leaned in until I could whisper into his ear. Shit, I'm so sorry. "I'll never talk to you again, if you don't let me go." I whispered even though just thinking about it hurt me more than I expected. I leaned back to see the surprised look on his face his, plump lips still parted, only now he was trying to read me. "Please." I whispered. While his gaze was hot, pulling me in, his hands fell from my back to his side. "Thank you." I whispered while taking a step up and away from him, and when his hazel eyes avoided all contact I turned around to run up to a particular room I had been before. Zander's.
A deep sigh was needed to gather all my strength, to open that door and when it swung open nothing could have prepared me for this. I didn't know what I was thinking, I knew he wasn't alone, I knew I was going to find him in his room probably talking to, or maybe worse, kissing some girl. Maybe I'm too naïve, but this was not what I thought he was capable of, not even close. "Oh god." I gasped my hands instantly covering my mouth at the sight of a girl bouncing up and down on top of him, obviously naked, their moans polluting my ears. No. no. no. no. I'm not ready for this! I can't breathe! I gasped for air, but none of it was filling my lungs, all of me paralyzed and malfunctioning except for my eyes. I just stood there watching them turn to me in horror, the girl quickly covering herself up with the covers as Zander tried to push her off.
"Shit! Luna." He panicked while his sight collided with mine, the distress on his face clear, and he seemed unsure what to do. I can't... I... I'm not feeling well. "Luna..." He sounded out of breath while he scrambled off the bed and tried to put some clothes on.
"Don't bother!" I said rudely, while holding my hand out to cover the sight of him. "I'm done with you." I tried to yell, but my voice shattered together with my heart he had already broken, yet I let him break it some more. I bit my lip while the air got punched out of me, slowly turning on my heel, because I just couldn't look at them anymore, her smug face not at all remorseful. Of course why would she.
"Wait! This isn't what it looks like." Zander raised his voice as he tried to stop me, but his words made all of my anger return in a heartbeat.
"Oh Fuck you! That's the most overused sentence a cheater could use. This is exactly what it fucking looks like! It's over! I'm done with this shitshow." I snapped at him while he was still struggling to put on his boxers. Idiot.
"Luna wait!" Zander yelled after me, but I was already on my way out of his room. It only took me a few steps to find those hazel eyes looking at me across the hallway. Jules was leaning against the door of his room, and without thinking, I walked to him, immediately looking up at him while trying not to break down.
"Hide me." I begged him with eyes and words. He didn't need to think twice, instantly opening his door and letting me in. He came in after me, just in time to avoid Zander who ran through the hallway, shouting my name, having the audacity of calling me baby. "What just happened?" I said to myself while I walked into his room, distraught and out of place. "I saw them... She was... I... He... I just saw him have sex with another girl... He really cheated. Of course he really cheated! I had my suspicions after hearing he kissed another girl." I turned to him in anger while I watched him close the door behind him. Shaking my head and completely out of breath, I stormed towards him, swatting my hands against his chest, pushing him back until he hit the door, and he took it willingly, like he felt like he deserved it. "You knew didn't you... All of you knew!" I raised my voice while the image of her on top of him was still haunting me. "I can't breathe!" I screamed while I felt my cheeks become hot and wet. "I can't." Yelling once more, I put my hands through my hair, the image still vividly playing in my brain. I thought about it ever since I knew he kissed her. I tried to imagine him with a Katy, maybe to prepare myself, or maybe to love him a little less, but nothing could have prepared me for this, the pain, the betrayal, the tightening of my chest, the betrayal. "I can't believe he did that!" I cried, taking a seat at the edge of his bed because I'm sure I would have plummeted to the floor in agony if I hadn't. "Am I really that worthless!" I shook my head, burying my face in my hands. "This is my fault!" I cried while I felt two hands on my knees comforting me, those hands traveling up to my wrists and when they gently took my hands away from my face I saw him, a compassionate look on his face.
Jules was sitting on his knees in front of me, his gaze mesmerizing me, and my thoughts went blank, if only for a peaceful second. "Ssh, h-h-h-ey." He whimpered as he watched me break down, his thumb finding a way to wipe my cheeks clean.
"I could have handled seeing him kiss another girl... Maybe." I whispered. "But, he... He was screwing her! He was..." I couldn't even say it again while tears were streaming down my face once more, the image now ripping me apart entirely.
"Hey, come h-h-h-here." He stuttered while he scooted further between my legs, and he threw his arms around my waist, allowing me to cry on his shoulder. My sobs were making me shudder into his arms, and with each quiver he held me tighter. "I w-w-wasn't protecting him. I didn't want you t-t-o see. You d-d-d-don't d-d-deserve this." He stuttered again, melting me with his husky voice. Yes I deserve it.
"I'm just not good enough." I sobbed, my hands vigorously grabbing his shirt while I burrowed my face in the crook of his neck, his hot skin nice and comforting.
"Don't s-s-say that..." His own voice broke, and I felt his chest move against mine when he sighed. "He's a s-s-selfish dick Luna. We all know h-h-he only has one brain cell for doing this shit to you." I felt him shake his head against mine before his hands left my waist to cup my face, pushing me back just enough for his gaze to make the room spin. "Any other g-g-g-guy, would do a-a-anything t-t-t-to make you happy." He frowned at the way his words fell brokenly from his lips. "And treat y-y-y-you right." He gently smiled at me, his eyes sincere, just like his words while I was captivated by his closeness. I felt it when he pulled me into him, and I involuntarily wrapped my legs around him. His gaze found mine again, his face and more specifically his lips only inches away. I looked at him, really looked and it was only now I realized his stutter wasn't random. All pieces fell together and it made my mouth part. He doesn't talk, because he's ashamed. Because he thinks I'll judge him for having a stutter, but all it does is make me care for him more.
I reached up, my hand cupping his cheek, my gaze boring at his. "You're finally..." I paused to sniff my nose and take a breath, trying to stop another tear from paining. "Talking to me." I whispered carefully, but still he lowered his gaze.
"S-s-s-stuttering you m-m-mean." He seemed disappointed that he couldn't say it without a stammer, sighing deeply while his gaze hung low, his shoulders weak.
"So?" I whispered, while my finger underneath his chin lifted his face towards mine, our faces once again perfectly aligned. "If it's a part of you, then don't hide it from me." He carefully watched my lips move, his arms around me still holding me tight.
"That's just i-i-it. It's n-n-new to me. It's just n-not me." He clenched his jaw, avoiding eye-contact, but the way his hands traveled to the small of my back, holding me, told me he wasn't going anywhere.
"How did you..." I was too cautious to finish that sentence, I didn't want to offend him, hurt him.
Instead of him pulling away to avoid the question, I was suddenly floating when he lifted me up and carried me around the bed. "Sorry, the f-f-f-floor is hard." He softly whispered in my ear and I smirked at his words. So are you, dammit Luna. My thoughts were faster than I thought and lucky for me I didn't say that out loud. But it was true, I felt it when he laid me down into his soft sheets, my legs still wrapped around him. "How did I g-g-get it?" He said while lying next to me on his side, his elbow supporting himself. I nodded while rolling on my side too, so I could face him, his smile instantly making me blush, and I was already missing his touch. "C-c-c-c-concussion..." He whispered and the shame was evident on his face when he tried to look down again, but I didn't let him, my teary eyes begging him, my finger lifting his chin once again. "I was playing o-o-o-one last game with my old team and I got checked really hard." He took a breath trying to start again and I smiled, my hand searching for his fingers, instantly lacing mine through them. "I f-f-f-finished the g-g-game and I remember being so t-t-tir-r-ed I went to bed straight after. I w-w-w-woke up the next day, unable to say a sentence without f-f-fucking stuttering my way through it." He sighed, wanting to cuss something under his breath, but instead he bit his lip. "I know it's a-a-an-n-n-noying. Dammit, I'm sorry." He shook his head with a clenched jaw.
"No, it's not. Don't apologize." I carefully said, his fingers nervously fidgeting with mine.
"It sure ch-ch-changed your o-o-opinion on me?" He widened his eyes.
"Nope. You're still pretty mysterious and cute to me." I grinned while playfully pushing him away at his shoulder, because my own words just made me feel really shy and flustered.
"S-s-s-o C-c-c-cute huh?" He laughed before rolling his eyes and the sound of his voice melted me over and over. "It g-g-ets worse w-wh-en I'm nervous." He whispered, and when his eyes met mine a rush of tingles shot through my body. Nervous? The room started to spin again at his words, the way I was looking at his wet lips curved into a smile giving me chills.
"And I make you nervous?" I whispered, my cheeks probably cherry red while my lips parted in awe with the way he looked down at me, his face just inches away and the perfect opportunity to be selfish.
He nodded softly, his eyes hooded and his gaze alternating between the intensity of my eyes and the temptation of my lips. "T-t-terribly." He whispered, his voice filled with longing, while we were continuously drawn to each other like magnets. Selfish, for once that's the only option.
My breath stoked when the tension between us became unbearable and my hand reached out for his chest, first lying flat while his heartbeat hammered against it, but then my fingers grabbed his shirt and I slowly pulled him closer, his nose divinely brushing against mine before my lips claimed his, the explosion of my heart lighting up the room. I inwardly smiled, experiencing a whole different level of excitement. He was setting me on fire with just a single brush of the lips and I lost all control. I pulled him closer one more time, his hand finding a soft spot in my side while our legs intertwined. I just couldn't resist the urge to put my fingers through his hair, and so I did, pushing his baseball cap off to lace my fingers through his messy hair.
"Luna." He faintly whispered against my lips, but he instantly kissed me back, his teeth softly grazing my lip before kissing me deeper. His tongue found mine and another set of sparks ignited my core, my longing and desire taking over all of my senses. I was floating yet, aware of everything, from the way his tongue tasted like mint, his perfume smelled like wood and vanilla, and his hair felt like silk as I pushed my finger through his locks. A soft moan rolled into my mouth when I pushed my hips into his, and I was excited to feel him. His hand in my side traveled down to my hip, and when pulled me into him, it was my time to suddenly gasp, sucking in a breath against his lips. The sudden absence of the softest lips surprised me, and it forced me to pull back slightly. He was looking down at me, his eyes beyond apologetic. "I'm s-s-s-sorry." He whispered, his tone husky, yet regretful.
"What?" I whispered, voicing the first thought that came to mind, my mouth parted in awe. Why? I don't understand.
His fingers softly brushed my cheek and the way he carefully pushed the flyaways out of my face made me whimper with want. "I'm n-not the right guy for a reb-b-bound." He whispered as he let his forehead fall against mine. But you aren't...
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💛 Hi Loves! I know and I'm sorry for the cliffhanger, it really isn't my purpose but it's the switching of the POV because I want to tell Jules's side of this kiss too. Forgive me! I'll upload the next on soon :* Like Monday! So hang in there
🌙 Can we just die over that kiss? Did you?
🌙 What does Jules mean you think? Is there more to it... More kissing maybe?
⭐️ Don't forget to hit the star if you liked it!