"You have to go!" My mother's frantic voice beamed through the phone.
"Hell no," I responded.
"Avaryn! Language!"
"Hell's not a bad word mom." I rolled my eyes, taking a bite of a cookie I got out of one of the vending machines. How had my life come to sad vending machine food? I sighed. I felt lonely. I missed Finn and West and mom. I missed home, although my home wasn't there anymore. I had no home. All I had was this cold big dorm room.
Nyan hadn't come to the dorm after school, so I guess me borrowing one of her dresses was no longer an option? It was well after ten p.m and she still wasn't here. I was starting to worry, She was past curfew. Maybe she was staying in her mansion with the rest of the Devara?
"I don't even have a dress."
"Oh, stop! I'll put some money on your card and this weekend you can go into town with some of your girlfriends and get a dress!" I hinted at the excitement in her voice. Why did my mom want me to be involved in everything? Was this her way of living vicariously through me?
I had mentioned Tandy and Mo once and now she all of a sudden thinks they're my best friends. But even though going to the dance next week was the last thing I wanted I couldn't bring myself to say no to my mother. "Fine."
"Great! You're gonna have so much fun! I have to go but I'll talk to you later, okay?"
"Okay."
I hung up, placing my phone on the nightstand. I stared up at the ceiling, my heart slowly closing in my chest. The room had somehow felt ten-times smaller. It seemed as if the air was sucked out and I was suffocating. I tried to swallow down the sense of fright in my throat but I couldn't.
Was the thought of going to a school dance really making me have a panic attack?
Was I that pathetic?
I fled from my spot on my bed and made my way out of the dorm room. I needed air. Fresh air. I didn't care that it was against the rules to go outside this late. I just needed space, no walls or roof, just open air. After a few flights of stairs and many wide corridors, I found myself finally outside. I had never been to this point of the school before. I walked out of a set of doors that had a glowing red exit sign above them. A wide roof covered stone path connected two buildings together. I didn't know what the other building was. Maybe a gymnasium or something?
A small patio along with a fountain lay on the right of the walkway. I took a step forward, standing in the grass behind it admiring the angel sculpture that was embroidered into the fountain. I sucked in a sharp breath, taking in the crisp cold air. The smell of freshly cut grass and pine crowded my senses. I had always imagined Oregon to smell like pine, I guess I was right. I shivered as I realized how cold it was. Florida was never like this. It was hot and muggy, it always smelled like sunburn and salt.
There was a strange sense of calm about gazing at the fountain.
Even as I let the calmness seep in, there was still something missing in me. It might sound strange but most of the time it was hard for me to feel anything other than anxiety or hunger. It was like I had this empty hole in my heart where my pain and happiness were supposed to be. I know I push them away, the emotions, I bury them without meaning to. It's my own self protectant button and now I don't know how to get them back. As I stared at the wind blowing so carelessly through the trees, I still felt empty. I still felt numb.
Before I could stop myself I slowly sunk down onto the squishy green grass, not caring I was only in pajama shorts and a t-shirt.
"Are you trying to catch a cold?" I jumped at the deep accented voice that came from behind me.
I turned around, staring wide-eyed at Bash as he leaned against the side of Crestwood.
"Are you like everywhere?" I snapped without meaning to.
He smiled charmingly. "If you want me to be."
I rolled my eyes. He was back to being an obnoxious ass? Did he have different personalities for different times of the day? "I don't get you," I muttered.
"You don't have to, Ryn." He took a step closer than sat next to me. "And I'll have you know, this is where I come to think. This is my spot."
I didn't know why but I didn't mind him being here.
"Not anymore, I've officially claimed it."
"Oh?" his eyebrows raised and if I didn't know any better I'd say Sebastian Crestwood was being playful with me. And then his goofy smile dropped as he saw something in my eyes. He looked away as if he had been caught doing something wrong. "You wanna talk about what's on your mind?" His voice lowered.
"With you?" I hadn't meant that to come out as judgmental as it did.
"You don't even know me."
"Precisely."
"Oh, come on, I'm not that bad," he suggested, his green eyes shimmering with something I couldn't describe.
"I don't think you're bad," I muttered and realized it was the truth. Bash wasn't bad.
"Then what do you think I am?" His voice dropped slightly, becoming more serious.
"I think you're a liar."
He inclined his head as if he were insulted, his eyes were wide with shock.
"Well, am I wrong?"
He let out a small laugh as he grinned down at me. "No, Ryn. You're not wrong and I get the feeling you rarely are."
"That would be correct. How do you think I got into this school in the first place-?" I stopped myself when I saw Bash suddenly stiffen as something caught his eyes behind me. His whole body had gone rigid as if on high alert.
"What is it?" I twisted around to see what he was looking at.
Along the edge of the gate of Crestwood was a dark figure standing perfectly still, watching us. I shivered but not because of the weather. I turned back to Bash wide-eyed. "Who is that?"
His eyes shot back to me in an instant as if he just remembered I was here. "You can see?"
I squinted up at him. "Uh, yeah?"
He stood up, barely acknowledging me. "Go back to your dorm, Ryn, Nyan should be there by now."
He took a couple of steps closer to the intruder. Wait. What? I shook my head. "Is that person trying to get into Crestwood? Are you going to call security?"
He just ignored me and continued to walk closer to the strange dark figure. This all felt wrong. Something wasn't right about this. I swallowed down my fear and followed him across the grass. "Bash?" I grabbed his shoulder twisting him toward me. His ... eyes. I caught my breath, rearing my head back. His eyes were white! They-they were glowing! I had never seen anything like it, they were like diamonds. I shook my head and took a step back. I blinked a few times trying to wash away the image in my head. That couldn't be right. I was just seeing things. When I reopened my eyes Bash was staring at me with narrowed brows. His eyes were green. Just green. "What?" he asked. "Didn't I tell you to go back to your dorm?"
I pushed away the insane thoughts running through my head. It wasn't real. It was just the lighting or something. I wasn't crazy. I wasn't like my father. "Unlike the rest of your friends, I don't blindly obey you. And what exactly do you plan on doing?"
"Just go inside Avaryn."
"No." I didn't know what I was doing but I couldn't just leave him. What if that person was dangerous? "Come with me."
He stared at me, then back at the figure. He nodded his head. "Okay. I'll drop you off at your dorm, then call security," he replied, I hadn't anticipated him to actually agree.
He unexpectedly grabbed my arm and led me into the building.
His grip on me was surprisingly soft. Surprisingly comfortable. I cleared my throat and ripped my arm from his grasp. "Thanks, but I can walk myself."
"I'm walking you to your dorm."
"Why do I get the feeling you know more than you're letting on?"
"I don't know what you mean."
I let out a puff of breath as we walked the long corridors. It felt strange walking side by side with Bash but also insanely normal. I couldn't explain it but I was oddly comfortable around him which was rare for me. "You and your friends are so weird."
"Then maybe you should stay away from us," he answered, bluntly.
I rolled my eyes. "Nyan's my roommate, I can't stay away from her."
"As of tomorrow, she won't be."
"What?" I stopped in my tracks, squinting up at Bash. "Why?"
"You shouldn't be around her." he stared into my gaze, seriously, not giving away anything. He was so confusing.
"Excuse me?" I scoffed. "This is because of you, isn't it? You ordered her to stay away from me so now she has to, right?"
"You wouldn't understand, Ryn, you don't belong with us."
I flinched at his words. What did he even mean? Was I not good enough to hang out with their rich squad? Was I too ugly? Too poor? "I-" I stopped talking as I heard voices around the corner. My eyes widened. Oh my god. What do we do? They were coming straight towards us! We were going to get caught! I was going to get expelled! Before I could process anything I felt Bash grab my arm and pull me into a small alcove. So small our chests were almost pressed together. Bash put a finger to his lips telling me to be quiet. I nodded my head.
"It's all fine now," A raspy deep voice said. I watched recognition dawn on Bash's face. "The Devara's took care of it."
Took care of what? What was happening? "Was it a Greer?" a female voice asked.
"No, thank God, if it was Greer, trust me, you would know."
Why did I feel like they were talking in code? I narrowed my eyes at the wall behind Bash. This was a puzzle my brain couldn't solve and I didn't like it. I'd never been more confused and the thing that pissed me off the most was that Bash knew exactly what they were talking about, I could see it on his face.
I stayed perfectly still as their footsteps faded away.
Bash cleared his throat and stepped out of the alcove, away from me.
"What were they talking about?" I asked as I stepped forward. "What's a Greer?"
His back was turned toward me but I could tell he was thinking of a lie to tell me. "I don't know, Ryn."
"Really? out of all the lies, you could tell me, you choose that?"
He whipped around so we were face to face. "You are utterly frustrating."
"That's still not an answer."
He let out an unamused laugh and slowly shook his head. "Go to bed, Ryn." and then he walked away from me, leaving me stranded in the middle of the hallway. The thing is, he didn't know me. And I don't just let things go. I push and push until I solve the problem. Until I solve the puzzle.