TW suicidal thoughts self cutting blood rape slight smut
I quickly pushed Tom away after he kissed me, "Tom, do you really mean that?" "I do," he said as he slid he hand around my lower back. For the first time in my life, a mans touch didn't make me flinch, or want to move away. I wanted him to be mine and I wanted everyone to know he was mine, and that I was his. But I couldn't, I practically promised Sirius that I wouldn't be involved with Riddle. "I can't Tom, I promised, and I'm not the right person to be in a relationship right now, I don't know, I just can't right now," I said in between breaths. Tom sighed. "Fine then, will you at least tell me your last name?," I sighed then waited a moment. I shrugged. "Lestrange," as I said that, his eyes widened. "As in Bellatrix and Rodolphus Lestran-" I held my hand up for him to stop and nodded. "Yes Tom my mother killed a lot of people, but that doesn't make her a bad person, she was a good person who made the wrong choices" and with that I ran off. I was getting tired of this. Living. Having to feel. I'm ready to go.
Tom.
What about him? I couldn't leave him could I?
Sirius either. I love him so much, I can leave him either.
Sunny, my baby sister. I can't leave her alone, she needs me. I need her, she is the only thing keeping me alive, because I could just write my cousin, Tom, Sarah, Maria, my aunt, and Albus a Letter, and then take my knife and just die. Maybe I could drown myself in the black lake. Die peaceful. No, no, no.
My baby sister. I just need to cut something. I-I I need to.
I ran down to the common room. It was 2 am. No one will be up not even Tom. I grabbed a pocket knife I had found in riddles room, don't ask how I managed to grab it. I went there and sat on the floor.
I opened the knife up and placed it against my skin. The blade felt cold. I pushed down and
swiped, making a cut along my forearm.
Red liquid started emerging from the wound.
I made another one under it. More blood came rushing to the scene. I looked at my right forearm and made a large gash. I took the towel I had brought with me so I wouldn't get blood on the floor, and placed it under me.
This wasn't a good place to do it I thought.
I started crying.
Why why did I feel the need to do this?
Why can't I be like other people, who had happy childhoods and good life's. I started sobbing.
I heard footsteps. No no no! Sarah or Maria must have heard me come downstairs. I sat on the couch and used the towel to cover my arms I grabbed a blanket to also cover it. But I couldn't hide my tears, they just kept coming. I looked up to see the one and only, Tom Riddle.
"Tom? What are you doing here?" I said with my voice cracking. He looked at me concerned and confused. "I was coming to get my books I woke up and remembered them just now," he looked at me for a moment before saying, " what are you doing here?"
I looked like a little kid that had been caught sneaking cookies
"I um" I stuttered "You aren't hiding a book about darks arts under that blanket are you," he reached for the blanket while smirking , "wait don't," I was to late he pulled off the blanket and saw the bloody towel. He looked shocked. He grabbed the towel. My efforts to hold it didn't work, he was too strong. He saw the cuts with blood still coming out. "I-I can e-explain please T-Tom I-," "what the bloody hell, y/n? You've been cutting yourself? All this time? Why?"
"You don't understand Tom, I need to, its my fault," tears started coming from My eyes, "I should have told someone" I started balling "but I didn't, I couldn't, he didn't let me, he hurt me Tom. And then when I did, that man hurt me he said it was my fault, it was, Tom, my fault, I did this" I said in between sobs Tom just stood there before picking me up and just holding me. "Tom, I-I" "shh, I'm here, baby, don't worry I'm gonna make them pay, just tell me their names," "no he'll hurt her, I can't let him hurt her," "my little tiger, who's her?," "my sister," I started cry at the thought of Steve hurting her. "Baby, you got to tell me who hurt you and who said it was you fault, please, baby,"
"I just want to go to sleep," I said and looked into his eyes, they looked full of hurt, with a slight hint of hate. "Please, Tom" he nodded, then Carried me up the stairs to his dorm, I didn't care that it wasn't my dorm I just needed to be with him. He calmed me. That's when I realized, he was changing me, even though this was a step backwards, and I knew that him knowing this he was going to make sure I was okay. He sat me down on the bed. And opened a drawer and pulled out a hoodie and then walked over to one of the other boys beds and grabbed what looked like girl shorts. "Come on, I can show you to the shower, I can help you if you like," he smirked. So like Tom to try and flirt. I rolled my eyes at him. "Sure Tom I would love that, just so you can force me to have sex with you then leave me like Alandar did?" I put my hand over my mouth Tom looked at me with anger in his eyes "who the hell is Alandar?" "Tom I-I'm sorry he's nothing" "I'd he the guy you said 'hurt you' is that what he did forced you to have sex with him?" The other beds in the room shuffled. He muttered a silencing charm so that they couldn't hear. "Tell me everything now, and I want names," "Tom you can't tell anyone please," "I won't if you tell me" I sighed "I was 8 when my sister, sunny, was born. A few months later, my uncle Steve started to visit more often. He said I was becoming a young lady, he was disgusting, telling an 8 year old that she was becoming a woman, curse puberty coming early," I looked up to see Tom processing every word I said while looking at me intently. He came close to me and laid down on the bed and motioned for me to do the same. I did and we faced each other on the bed. "Continue, love," I nodded and smiled at him. I was grateful that he wasn't telling me to shut up or that it wasn't important. "When he was visiting he would um," I looked at Tom and he brought my body close to his to comfort me. "Tom, he would touch me," I said while starting to cry. He stroked my hair, and our body's merged into one "That went on for years, and when my parents died we were sent to live with him, we were supposed to go to my aunts but her husband didn't want us, when I turned 11 and went to Ilvermony, I was able to escape him touching me, he never touched my sister which I'm glad for" I sighed then continued "At Ilvermony I had no friends, but in my 2nd year at Ilvermony, I met a boy, his name was Alandar," I swallowed my tears. But with every word I said, the pain grew, Tom noticed this and therefore grew angry with every word I said. "We started dating, which was stupid, I was 12 he was 16 and thought I loved him," I rolled my eyes "I will never forgive myself for that, he made me have sex with him, he said if I didn't he would break up with me, he took me to a room and um-" I paused looking for the words to say " started. I told him to stop because it hurt." I looked at Tom remembering the pain "Tom, it hurt so bad I honestly thought I was going to die, I know it sounds stupid but I-" " No Y/N, it's not stupid, ok? Everything you felt you have a right to," I nodded " I said no Tom, please believe me, I-I told him no" "I believe you, I always will" I blinked and more tears fell "after that, I told my uncle what happened, he called me names and said it was my fault, he said I let him do it, I tried to explain, but he didn't let me. He hit me. And with that he made me break up with Alandar. When he would touch me it became more aggressive. It really hurt Tom. I can't bear to go i into that bloody house, but I need to, to protect my sister, she just a kid, but I'm struggling Tom," I gasped for air, "It hurts to live" "I know, my tiger," he stood up "let's get you into the shower" I nodded. I was dizzy from the blood I lost, so Tom had to help me up. And with that I was able to take a shower, Tom gave me his shampoo and body wash. "Here's some conditioner, I think it's from Averys girl but it should do" I thanked him and went into the bathroom with his hoodie and what seemed like, again, 'Averys girl' shorts. I turned on the shower on mild to hot. I grabbed the shampoo and smelled it. Wow. It smelled like Tom it was of mint, and a sweet scent. I put some of it onto my hands and lathered it into my hair. I rinsed it out and then did the conditioner. I finished with washing the blood of my arms and the cleansed with his body wash. Mhm it smelled so good.
After I finished I grabbed the towel Tom said was his, and dried my hair and body before putting on my underwear and the toms hoodie, and that girls shorts, the hoodie, fit nice and loose, you could definitely tell that he was a lot bigger then me, the shorts on the other hand, were a little to small. I am pretty curvy so the shorts defined my shape a lot more and you could see that I definitely had hips and a butt. I'm not skinny like most girls at hogwarts, I was one of the few with curves and stomach fat, which made me insecure, but in toms hoodie, I loved myself for once. I came out of the bathroom and saw Tom laying on his bed reading a book. He looked up when I came out, his eyes widened "I think those shorts are a little to small for your " he paused "curves" he said with a smirk. I blushed and sat down on his bed next to him " I do like you in my clothes though, you should keep it," "but tom it's your I-" "it's yours, my love," I looked down 'my love'? Does he really love me? "Do you mean that?" "What?" "Do you love me,Riddle?" He looked me right in the eyes and said, "I've come to love you, even though I tried my hardest not to," I smiled at my victory, but then realized I couldn't "Tom, I have feelings for you but I promised James and Sirius that I wouldn't-" Tom interrupted me "why were you taking to Potter?" He said in an annoyed tone. "He is my cousin's friend. And I like him, he seems nice" Tom looked like he go angry with the word 'like' "As In a friend way Tom. I have no reason to be in a relationship with anyone here, ok? Just trust me" "Fine, but your staying here until the morning, I don't want you alone" I sighed and laid down "only if you give me some of the cover" and smirked "gladly"
I got under the cover with Tom and he pulled me close to him in the middle of his bed. He placed his hand under the hoodie around my waist which touched my bare skin, as I only had on my bra under the hoodie. I sighed and went even closer to Tom. I loved this. He traced invisible patterns on my waist. "Your so beautiful, y/n" I blushed "stop Tom," "you are, your body your face, your personality, I love every part of you" "then why does everyone whisper when I enter a room, why do most of the Slytherin girls tell me that I'm not, hmm Tom?" He sighed and put his mouth next to my ear and placed a kiss on it. Oh, the things he's doing to me. I melted into his embrace even more. He then whispered "They're jealous, because your the one girl I pay attention to"
I gasped dramatically "Tom Riddle, are you telling me that you pay attention to little old me?" I said sarcastically. He started placing kissing all along my neck, "mmhm" he mumbled. I small moan escaped my lips when he found my sweet spot. He started kissing it intently and then I felt his tongue there. "Mhm Tom" I mumbled a moan. He started making his claim on me. After he finished making his mark, he came up to meet my eyes and planted a soft kiss on my lips, before going lower and lifting up what now was my hoodie. He started planting kisses from my chest down to my stomach. He climbed on top of me and I wrapped my legs around him and he lowered him self to kiss me. It was soft and sensual. He was holding his body weight up using his arms so that all of his body weight wasn't on me.
He then started grinding on me. A slightly louder moan escaped my lips Tom smirked I wrapped my hands around his back and neck. I wrapped my legs tighter around him, to make him grind harder. A moan escaped toms lips. "Tom?" "Yes?" "As much as I would like to continue this,"I said in between a breath trying not to moan but a small 'mff' escaped my mouth. "We need to stop" Tom stopped and nodded and got off of me. We settled in for bed, then Tom placed is hand, that was bigger then mine, on the side of my thigh, and started rubbing up and down it soothed me. And I fell asleep
I woke up to the time saying 6:40. I saw Tom taking off a shirt and putting on a new one, my eyes widened at his body, I didn't think the had any muscles but there was a few, and I admired them as I at got up. I rubbed my eyes and there was Tom, "Good morning, darling, I was about to wake you up" I nodded "I um should go get some pants, I don't think I could wear these, I nodded at my shorts, to class," "I suppose, and I don't think that any of mine would fit you, I'm bigger then you" he said with a grin, "you couldn't even wear the hoodie though, it is a Slytherin one, plus it's getting colder, already October, but it isn't the uniform" I nodded and then spoke "could you take me to my dorm, after you are ready of course, I don't want anyone to look at me funny considering the current situation." "Of course I'll be about 5 minutes" he finished getting ready and took me to my dorm, he told me that the reason no one else was in his dorm and why no one would be in my dorm is because they were already up and doing other things, as I walked in my dorm and let Tom in I was glad that Maria and Sarah weren't in there. I grabbed a green plaid skirt and was about to undress them I remember Tom was in there, "oh um turn around" "what why?" "I said turn around!" He did I rolled my eyes. I pulled on the skirt and took off the hoodie and grabbed a white shirt forgetting to do the buttons. I grabbed my robe. And ran out the door as soon as I saw the time "Tom hurry," I exclaimed I ran out into the great hall and bumped into someone it was a boy with platinum hair. "Why hello there," he looked down at my cleavage, " Seems someone forgot how to use buttons, not that I mind," he smirked and I quickly buttoned a few, but left a few open "Abraxus Malfoy"
"Y/n" I nodded and smiled. Tom came in behind me "Malfoy," "Tom, have you met this lovely young lady, she is very beautiful isn't she, she has quite the body too," I blushed and mumbled , "thank you?" Tom was about to say something when "Both of you ignorant gits get away from her" it was Sirius. I smiled "hello there," I said with a grin "Sirius I didn't know you had a girlfriend," malfoy said, why does everyone think I have a thing with my own cousin "Ew no, that would be disgusting considering that we're cousins" I said. Malfoys eyes widened " Oh my bad," I looked around trying to get away from this situation because people were staring to turn and stare, but I couldn't find I familiar face to go to "Tom, really, y/n, I thought I told you to stay away from him," Sirius said before Tom replied with "she can make her own decisions black," this was about to get ugly. Malfoy noticed this and quickly backed away back to the Slytherin table. "Wait y/n, what is that on your neck?" He examined my neck. "Who gave you that," I turned bright red. I looked at Tom who had an angry expression, probably to do with my cousin not wanting me with him, Sirius followed my gaze to toms, and was about to speak but I said "Let's take this somewhere private please" Tom and Sirius nodded
We went into an empty classroom it would be about an hour before class started
"He found me cutting my self"
Hey guys thank you for 50+ reads it honestly means the world to me . How did you like this chapter. Oh and I made another story check that one out of you want to it's about a girl named Atlas Forest, and the description is there or whatever, but again thank you for the reads even though it's a few it means so much to me thank you so much
~the author