"What do you want to ask me, Abir?"
Mishti knew this might break her all over again, but she can't always run away from her past. Maybe even today Abir won't get his proper explanation, but today it was Mishti's turn to fight what might kill her.
And Mishti, is a fighter.
Mishti wiped her tears.
Abir gave her a stern look.
"So tell me Miss Mishti Kashyap, what wrong I did to you? 7 years, and I've moved on. You Ms. Mishti? You couldn't find another guy or what? In fact, I've nothing to do with what you do or do not. Whenever I see you with other people you're so happy, but when it comes to me you just act as if I didn't exist. Mishti, whatever went wrong between two of us, I understand it might have hurt you. But don't forget I was hurt more. You were the one who moved away from me and one fine day when I got my senses back I decided to break this relationship, only for YOUR sake. I wanted YOU to be happy. I freed you from this bondage of our relationship. Ideally I should be the one holding grudges and hate you for whatever you did to me Mishti. You were the one who hid almost everything from me. But look at me, right now I'm the one almost begging you to stop and talk to me. Why would you hate me Mishti? Because I broke up and your image of a good girl was ruined? If it is so, then you are wrong Mishti. No one can blame you because this was "Mutual Break-up". But everyone could see how indifferent you were to me. Whenever I look back at our past, the only thing I could see was our pain, neither of us was happy Mishti. And I broke up with you so that we both can be happy in our respective lives. It was you who didn't even try for once. Yet look at us now, even today, after 7 years, it's me who is trying. You were and are still the selfish one, the one who never thought of others. You never really loved me Mishti. You are still the same immature girl you were 7 years ago."
So this is what Abir Rajvansh thinks of Mishti Kashyap! Wow..
Mishti was staring at Abir for a while and laughed.
And that sounded like a mockery to Abir! Did he say a little too much? Is he going to lose her once again? Will his thirst for answers lead him to nowhere, again?
And did he cross his boundaries? Is this the final nail in the coffin of their story?
You messed up everything, Abir Rajvansh! Abir shut his eyes tight.
वक़्त ने किया क्या हसीन सितम
तुम रहे न तुम, हम रहे न हम!
Mishti stood very close to Abir. "You talk so much Mr. Rajvansh. 7 damn years and Abir Rajvansh has not learnt to listen to others yet." Mishti smirked. "So finally, after 7 years you've found time to respond to my messages which you never bothered to reply to. Good for you. So shall we begin from the beginning?"
Abir was stupefied by Mishti's act. He couldn't differentiate whether she was putting a mask on or she was actually taunting!
Mishti smirked again at Abir's change in expressions. Now she had the power.
"What do you want to know, Abir? Why do I act weird around you? Why do I avoid you? Because I don't know. Please tell me what should be the proper behavior. You're a stranger to me Abir. Just a stranger whom I don't know, who doesn't know me. Yes Abir, today I accept this in front of you, a part of me is still stuck at the point where you left me. Why? Because we both deserve closure. Just a text cannot end the bonds of heart Abir. I kept asking you to talk to me again and again and you were the one who chose to ignore me at that time when you should have actually listened to me. So what's wrong with me ignoring you for my sake? You just said that you left me for my happiness right? So look at me, I'm happy. So why does it bother you anyway if I avoid you? Where were you at that time when I was waiting for your response hopelessly? And now, it's been 7 years. Are you still not over me Abir?"
Mishti noticed Abir lowered his gaze. Mishti took a deep breath. Maybe this is the time to let go of the past properly.
"Look at me Abir. Look at me and tell me if I was drifting apart why didn't you try to come to me and talk? We were merely 15 Abir. Neither of us was mature enough to handle such deep relationships. We made mistakes. We couldn't take care of our love. Whatever we had was there because of us, and if it ended then it was for both of us. You promised me of never leaving alone Abir. You knew my family background. You were well aware of my life. I always knew you deserve someone who can give you all her time and shower you with her love. It was that period of my life when I didn't have time even for myself. You were the one to fill the void inside me with hope. Your words made me believe in myself and reinforced that courage in me to jump along. In this journey we both were supposed to be each other's strength, not weak points Abir. I understand I went wrong somewhere. But why didn't you hold my hand tight and made me sit and talk it out? But you chose to break up, even without meeting me. You chose not to consider my reasons.
You turned around Abir! You left me alone and I was drowning in the sea of hopelessness again, without you. You could see my ignorance, you knew there was something that's troubling me. Yet you chose not to talk it out. One day you sent a text and all over! How could you do that Abir? Even today you're questioning me only." Mishti almost choked.
"We had problems Abir, we suffered a lot, we were hurt together. But today, when I look back, I only remember our togetherness as one of the best times of my life. Holding grudges? Abir? How can I hate you when you were the one who introduced me to love. Love! Oh Abir, it's such a beautiful feeling and I was the stupid who never believed in this. But it was you who made me fall in love, not just with you but you taught me to love myself.
These 7 years were never easy Abir. I've been at my lowest. But I can never hold you responsible for my misery. It was my choice! I chose that life for me. Whatever I was and whatever I am today, is purely my choice. You were a beautiful chapter Abir. But now it doesn't matter. No matter how precious things are, one day it all might break into pieces. Do you know why Abir? Because when you're unable to truly value it, when you're unable to protect it, you start taking it either for granted or you start being so possessive about it, one day it ought to slip away from your hand. Love is just as delicate as the petal of a rose. Just one wrong touch and it will lose its charm. I can never blame you for our misfortune in love Abir. But if you think I was the one moving out of our relationship then why didn't you think of confronting me Abir?"
Mishti stopped as she noticed Abir was holding her hand. Mishti sighed. Probably it's better if Abir never comes in term with the truth.
"I knew I'd hurt you, and that's why Abir, I never wished to talk to you anymore. You know what? As much as you were hurt, I too felt a burning in my chest. And it does nothing but burn me every time, and today, you too...."
Abir looked at Mishti. He's always the strong one, but right now the "Man doesn't cry" theory wasn't working.
He caged her into a bone-crashing hug. It was so sudden that she almost lost her balance.
Mishti sighed.
बेकरार दिल इस तरह मिले
जिस तरह कभी हम जुदा न थे...
तुम भी खो गये, हम भी खो गये
एक राह पर चल के दो कदम!
She hugged Abir back.
Tranquility is what they must have felt at that moment. Neither of them knew how much their hearts were longing for this one moment.
"I'm sorry Mishti. I never meant to hurt you. But you know me right! I'm always the stupid one and you always handled every situation. I' m sorry Angry Chorni... I'm really sorry! You told this to me many times, but I realize now that I too needed closure. I am sorry Mishti!"
Only if Abir could go back to those days!
"Thank you Mishti, for making me realize that if a relationship breaks then both partners are equally responsible. It is the responsibility of both partners to keep their ego aside and sort out their matters. Maybe we were meant to meet to teach each other this most precious lesson. Thank you for making me a part of your life for 2 years." Abir slowly broke the hug.
"Why are you sorry Abir? Even I never approached you for a closure properly. I always complained that you broke our relationship through a mere text. But I could have tried to sort out things. I hurt you so much Abir. I am sorry too."
Mishti felt so lighter. Finally it was like the end of a storm. She didn't lose track of her words and her only weapon worked well. Abir doesn't deserve to know her truth, and she can't dare to say everything on her own!
Abir was looking at Mishti. This girl, he could never really understand her. She was always a puzzle to him and each time they met, he would discover a different side to her. Everything has changed, but today Mishti amazed him the most. All this while he used to think that Mishti would have a lot to complain but... Mishti just never fails to amaze him.
"Kya ghur rahe ho? Nazar lag jayegi mujhe." Mishti laughed slightly, hitting Abir's shoulder. They both laughed and sat on the bench.
"Ah, it feels so good to be here today." Mishti said with a big smile looking at the setting sun.
"It feels so awesome to get my friend back.." Abir smiled looking at Mishti.
जायेंगे कहाँ सूझता नहीं,
चल पड़े मगर रास्ता नहीं!
क्या तलाश है कुछ पता नहीं
बुन रहे हैं दिल ख्वाब दम-ब-दम...
~~
Anurag smiled looking at Abir & Mishti from a distance... So happy they are!
Maybe his Mishti belongs to Abir, always!