I'm an idiot a complete and absolute idiot.
As I walk away the last 10 minutes keep replaying on my head. This is wrong. Those two have too much power over me. I'm supposed to be playing with them. That's what I do right? Elli is a kid I play with. Alice is supposed to be just a new playmate. Then why does it feel like I'm being played?
First Alice and her weird reactions. Her intriguing way of thinking and her obsession with analyzing everything and everyone. Then Elli ... When she hugged Alice's arm and looked at me as if I was trying to take away her most valuable possession. And Alice looked at her with that motherly worry and adoration I-I ..
You lost it.
I did. But why?
You were jealous.
Jealous?! Of what?
Or of whom.
Or of whom? What are you talking about?
Hey dude I'm just you so you should know.
Okay so I might be crazy on top of it all. But how could I lose it? How could just snap and act like a child again? Her face. She looked so sad, and scared and broken. I-I brought back the past. I said I would unmask her. How effig dramatic do you have to be to say that?!
How effing stupid do you have to be to say the same thing as 8 years ago?
"Hey! Lascuraine!" Alice's voice calls to me bringing me back to the present. That's when I realize I have no idea what time it is or where I should be heading towards. Or where in the hell I've been walking to. Which is not terrible since I could easily get out of trouble. However Alice looks pissed. Not just mad but pissed.
"Yes? Dawson. Do you need something or did you just missed me too much?" I ask mockingly. I just never know when to shut up now do I ?
"Look Lascuraine you might be use to getting away with everything you do and say just with your adorable smile or hot body. Maybe your daddy's money gets you out of trouble every time. Maybe that's how it worked on your last school. Or the rest of the wold." She says putting all her analysis together. Ignoring my mocking comment. And getting closer with every word. "And if you want to live in the superficial world you are welcome to. However if you overstep your boundaries, threaten Elli make her scared and make her cry don't expect to get away with it." She threatens me. She is less than armlenght away from me. I turn and get closer making her back into the wall and leaning one arm on the wall next to her face.
"So you think I have an adorable smile and a hot body?" I say lowering my face to be hers. The difference in height is not much barely a couple of inches. Even less considering I'm about 3 inches away from her.
"Lascuraine. You can't charm your way out of this." She says threatengly.But blushes a little. I lean the other arm in the other side of her face and lean closer. "Why would I want to get out of this?" I asked in a seductive tone that makes most girls melt. Alice just gets extremely red. I wonder if it is anger or if she is just nervous.
"Listen Lascuraine-"
"No you listen. If she was scared don't you think maybe there is something to unmask?" I interrupt her. She thinks about it. Then she analyses me. Which makes her blush as she suddenly realize that if I inched closer a few millimeters. I could kiss her. Which then makes me self concious of how close I got to her. But I can't back up. If I do I'll seem like I'm losing. Instead I try to distract myself by looking at her.
That's a bad idea.
Why?
As soon as I look at her I realize why. She has big bright green eyes. Which contrast with her pale but blushed skin. My eyes go down by themselves as if I had no control over them. Her lips are red a natural red. They look kissable. My eyes keep going down. She has an athletic and defined body. And she is so close to me and her lips look so sweet that I am tempted to ignore all the alarms going off in my brain, lean in and kiss her.
"No." She whispers... almost whimpers. I stop staring at her lips and look at her. "Elli has no masks. She is real and if you ever make her as sad as she was this morning. I-I won't be responsible for my acts." She says every word getting stronger as I moved away from her.
"Well if you are so sure why don't we bet?" I ask mockingly. Then regret it instantly as I remember that she is an athlete addicted to winning.
"Fine if Elli has no masks I win and you have to do anything I ask you." She says absolutely sure of her friend.
"Riiight.. and if I win I get your first kiss." I say trying to show her how stupid this is. Again bad idea she is oblivious to my sarcasm. She blushed madly.
Damn why is that so adorable?!
"What makes you think I haven't kissed anyone before?" She says challengingly but blushing even more.
Is that possible?
"Other than your love for sports you are a complete nerd." I say putting quotation marks with my hands as of say the word nerd. I hate labels urgh! She laughs humorlessly.
"So what you are the popular guy falling for the nobody?" She says sarcasticly.
"Hmm I wouldn't word it like that." I say.
How in the world do you get yourself into this sort of mess?
Shut up.
"Because you would never fall for me?" She says as she rolls her eyes.
"No because you are very popular. Must guys around want you." I say that last part as if it made me mad.
Which it does.
I told you to shut it!
"That's how I knew your last name. I heard a couple of guys talking about the super hot athlete in the main office." I say answering her question from earlier. She blushes even more which makes me wonder how red this girl can get before she explodes.
"You've read too many teenage novels Ren." She says.
I laugh. I actually might have read more than necessary. "Plus that means nothing. I-I've kissed someone before. " she lies at which she is terrible at. I go back to my position against the wall. I get really close to her face again.
"Then you wouldn't mind if I kissed you. It would be a meaningless kiss." I say and I can feel her breath quicken.
"Fine let's bet." She says and ducks under my arm. "We both agree right let's shake on it" she offers me her hand. And I stare at it.
You should tell her you take it back and you will apologize to Elli.
I will.
And I swear I would have. But then the memory of a minute ago and the desire to kiss her comes back. And that same desire moves my hand towards hers and and shakes it.
"I'll see you at algebra then." She says and walks towards the next class. I see her disappear and I'm about to follow her when I feel a child crash into me. I know who it is before I turn around.
"Tried to storm in angerly kid?" I ask Elli digging my whole dipper. I turn and she seems like a mess. Don't get me wrong she looks as adorable beautiful and perfect as always. But she is scared and sad and angry and something ... else something I've never seen before...
"Stay away from Ally." She says in a whiny tone of a child. All the mixed up feelings showing in her words.
"Why should I ?" I ask actually curious.
"Because she is mine. She is my big sister!!"She says and her voice cracks a little as she does. Her voice is full of...
It's called jealousy. Maybe protectiveness.
Do you ever shut up?!
I already told you I'm you... so I'm just here telling you then truths you already know.
Shut it!
"She is not yours! She is not related to you!" I say with a very angry tone.
" She takes care of me. You can't take her away!!" She says and I lose it again.
"You are the same arrogant, selfish, self adoring child you were so long ago. You say I can't take her away? She takes care of you? Don't you remember who took care of you all those years. Dont you remember who you took away?! " I yell angry that she is so protective of a complete stranger. Angry that she orders me to not keep her from this girl. Angry that she is jealous of me getting near her.
Angry that she is not jealous or protective of you.
Damg it shut it!
And you are still angry she denied you yesterday.
I am. But as I look at her face she looks like she did the last time that I said those things.
Dang it you are an effing idiot.
Yes I know now help me fix this!!
"Look Elli. If you want me to stay away from her I will." I say as I walk towards her and bent over and wipe the tears off her eyes. "Just don't cry okay? " I say in the tone I've only used on her. But as she looks at me she doesn't have the adoration she looked at Ally with. She just looks broken.
"Don't try to charm her. I'll make sure you lose that bet." She says coldly at me. Throwing the tantrum she didn't throw yesterday. "After you lose you have to leave forever. Never get in my life again. You'll stay away." She says.
She wants her close but me far?!
"Fine then that means I can't lose this bet. I'll be in your life forever." I say. "Even if it means unmasking you."
You are an imbecile.
I know...
What are you going to do?
I'll visit the person who solves all problems.
The person who told you you were an idiot...?
Yes.
Well stupidity does not go away that is true.
Shut it! Let's go see Colwell.