With the yelling of his nightmare echoing in his ears, Killian bolted awake in a cold sweat, eyes widened and body shaking. His desperate gulps for air finally filled his lungs as his heart pounded in his chest and he panted softly. Knitting his brows together, he sat up wearily and leaned back against the frame of the bed, clenching the bedsheets in his hands to remind himself of where he was.
With his own pulse drumming rhythmically in his ears, Killian hadn't heard Jasper stir in the corner of the room until the other man stood up, walking over to him. Killian's breath hitched in his chest when Jasper quietly stepped over. The other man's chiseled muscles were outlined by the gleaming moonlight filtering in from the window. His bright blue eyes were turned to a silvery-grey; despite all of this though, his expression was as kind and patient as always.
A soft touch on the side of his face made Killian flinch back from the unexpected touch. Jasper paused for a few moments, before trying again, this time much slower. Killian leaned into his hand, feeling the other man's warm, calloused palm on his cheek. He closed his eyes, breathing in Jasper's familiar scent, his mind sinking back into a comfortable state suspended between wakefulness and an idle existence. He was too tired to process exactly what this meant between them, but in that moment, he didn't care. He felt safe, oddly enough. Safety, security—those were things Killian hadn't ever felt before.
The other man's voice was a quiet rumble in his deep chest as Jasper broke the silence, "Did you have a bad dream?" Not wanting to speak, Killian just nodded. He hoped Jasper didn't prod for details, and to his relief, the other man didn't. The only response given was a quiet, "Hmm." Jasper remained still, not moving a single muscle. The warmth of the other man's hand, the strong and comfortable presence, both were things that Killian relished in. His eyes drifted halfway closed, peaceful. For once his muscles weren't coiled up, he wasn't ready for a fight, or itching to leave anywhere. It was just him and Jasper. There was no reason to run, no reason to hide away. Nothing would hurt him here.
Before he could stop himself Killian murmured, "Hey, Jasper?" Then hesitated. After swallowing back an anxious lump in his throat he finally managed, "Do you get nightmares too?" To his dismay Jasper moved his hand, but a thrill of butterflies buzzed through Killian's chest as Jasper got up onto the bed next to him. The other man leaned against the bedframe as well, keeping a good distance. He wasn't too far away, but he wasn't too close either.
A bitter smile slowly spread across Jasper's lips, "That's what I have most of the time. I either have nightmares or don't dream at all." Killian watched closely as a long, low breath exhaled from between the other man's lips and he leaned his head back, closing his eyes and running a stressed hand through the tuft of hair on his head.
"What are they about?" Killian asked tentatively. He knew he wouldn't want to tell anybody about his nightmares. Maybe Jasper didn't want to tell him. That was okay. But Killian wanted to know, he wanted to make things okay for Jasper again, just like how Jasper made things okay for him. Making the other man feel safe around him was the only good way to pay Jasper back for all that he'd done for Killian. It was the least he could do.
A hard swallow followed a long and reluctant sigh, with Jasper's brows narrowing. The other man cleared his throat and said, "Sometimes it starts out nice. I see my family, my dog, my friends. But then it slowly gets worse and worse." To Killian's surprise, Jasper's voice began to shake a bit. "That's when I hear it. The gunfire. People shouting, people dying. Artillery, screaming." The haunted look in Jasper's eyes when he opened them sent a chill down Killian's spine. It was as if he wasn't there, looking at something Killian couldn't see. "Then," Jasper growled softly, "Sometime I'm back at the city. The biters tearing people apart, and I can't do anything to help them."
Shaking his head, Jasper broke himself out of his trance, and set a hand on Killian's. Barely resisting the urge to jerk away from the sudden contact, Killian instead scooted a bit closer. He avoided looking at Jasper, not wanting to feel the guilt of asking such a question and sending Jasper back to those memories. Instead he said, "I won't let anybody hurt you now." And squeezed the other man's hand gently. There was a hard lump in his throat as Killian forced himself to talk stronger. "I promise. Nobody's going to hurt you, and if they do, then I'll make them regret it."
"I know, Boy Scout." Jasper replied, squeezing Killian's hand in return. That simple gesture made Killian's heart skip a beat, making him feel all squirmy inside. He didn't understand that feeling, but he didn't dislike it, either. "I'll keep you safe too," Jasper said. "We're a team. We'll get through it together, nightmares and all."
Nodding, Killian barely managed to hold back a big yawn as he said, "I believe you, Army Man."
❖ ❖ ❖
Sunlight glared through the window as Killian peeled his eyes open the next morning. Birds chirped their morning song, ringing in his ears and heralding the start of a new day. Jasper was sleeping beside him, a safe distance left between the two. They'd slept with their backs turned to one another, but Killian had felt much safer next to Jasper rather than just on the floor. After Jasper had talked about his nightmares, Killian had felt in shifting a lot later in the night, but he'd forced himself to stay awake until Jasper settled down again. Killian had promised himself that he wouldn't sleep well until Jasper did.
Not wanting to be the only one awake, Killian turned to nudge Jasper up, but then paused. He noticed the tired bags under the other man's eyes, how his brows were narrowed just slightly, and the wait his hair was ruffled. Tilting his head to the side, Killian carefully snuck out of bed and grabbed his crossbow, slinging it over his shoulder. Leaving the room as quietly as possible, Killian shut the door softly behind him as to not wake Jasper up. The other man needed his rest, but also something to eat when he woke up. So now, Killian had to go scavenge around for breakfast.
Silently hoping Jasper wouldn't be awake before he got back, Killian made his way down the stairs and opened the front door. He paused as he saw Darren leaning against the porch railing, unsure of what to say. Planning to silently pass by without talking, Killian took a step towards the porch stairs. Darren eyed him, "Whatcha up to there, kid?"
"None of your business." Killian snapped, feeling the annoyance clawing at his stomach like an angry cat. Narrowing his eyes, a scowl wrinkled at his lips. "What are you up to, Darren?"
"I was enjoying the sunrise until you came traipsing through and catching my attention." The other man retorted. Killian hated Darren's playful smile. It was smug, curled at the corners. The other man's eyes were glimmering with amusement as well. His hand clenched tighter around the strap of his crossbow and he just let out a soft huff, shaking his head and pouncing down the porch steps in one jump.
When he hit the ground, Killian wrinkled his nose with disgust. A few biters were crawling close to the house. They didn't notice him just yet, but he knew they were bound to cause some sort of trouble for somebody eventually. "Go on," Killian turned towards Darren again, who'd picked up a knife from his belt, "Go do whatever you're off to and I'll take care of them. Don't get yourself hurt, though." With an appreciative nod, Killian carefully tread a wide arch around the creatures and headed off in the direction of the barn. He'd have to be careful and quiet though. For one, that stranger could be lurking about with his shotgun and dog. For two, biters were always a problem in the early mornings before the group went to take care of them as part of the daily chores.
Killian's footsteps were careful as he made his way across the open grass. The stems were heavy and dew-laden from the melting frost. Winter was now their main enemy, not a gang from the town or the biters from the woods. At least for now. With a month and a few weeks of peace, there was bound to be trouble headed their way eventually. For now though, Killian preferred to relish the in the tranquility, no matter how brief it was. Skirting past the barn, Killian rounded off the top of a hill and made his way down it, keeping his eyes peeled for any particularly ravenous undead. Every so often somebody from the group would come back to the farmhouse with a strange story about a biter behaving strangely, to which Cohen would make the dry remark that viruses evolve over time. That simple fact made Killian grow cold. Biters were bad enough when they first showed up. But now there was the possibility of them changing.
Reaching a small patch of apple trees, Killian had expected most of them to be dead and the fruit rotting, but if his eyes hadn't betrayed him, there was still one kind that should be growing that time of year. Sure enough, there was a tree blossomed with green apples. There weren't many, and it was likely they weren't particularly good, but it was the thought that counted right? Setting his crossbow comfortably between his shoulder blades, Killian jumped up and wrapped his hands around a cold tree branch. He struggled for a few moments, before heaving himself up onto it. Carefully balancing and using the trunk to stand steady, Killian stretched up and reached for a pretty, bright green apple hanging from the branch above him. Not being able to reach it, Killian jumped up a bit and finally managed to grip his hand around the fruit. Tugging hard, he finally managed to grab it.
With a satisfied nod, Killian held his prize up close to his chest and hopped down, heading back toward the farmhouse. The trek back was just as boring and cold as he expected it to be. Nothing was particularly interesting about the surroundings, other than rose bushes beginning to bloom at the edges of the forest. As he hopped up the porch steps, Darren raised a brow. He was cleaning his blade with--what Killian assumed to be--cloth ripped off of one of the biters clothes. "You went all that way for an apple?" He muttered curiously.
Ignoring the other man, Killian made his way back into the house. His nose, ears and cheeks ached with the freezing wind outside, and soft tears had made their way into his eyes as they adjusted to the warmth the house provided. Somebody had lit the fireplace. He padded up the stairs, thankful that nobody had bothered him. Slipping back into the comfort of their room, Killian turned to see Jasper slipping a shirt back on over his head. The other man noticed him and raised a brow, "I didn't know you'd left the house." He remarked, and Killian could see the disapproval in the other man's eyes. "Did you go wi-"
Cutting off Jasper's words by throwing the apple at him, which Jasper caught hastily. Killian tilted his head to the side. "Breakfast." Then paused another few moments and knit his brows together. "You looked tired. You better be grateful I trekked all the way past the barn and back on a hunch that there might be some apples growing in that old orchard." He crossed his arms. "I did it for you. Be grateful."
"Oh." Jasper paused for a few moments, a small smile lifting at the corners of his lips. He sat down on the bed and took a pocket knife from his belt, carefully splitting the fruit in half. "Then you should get half. Here." He handed it to Killian, who hastily took it. Jasper took a bite, then playfully scrunched up his face and mumbled, "Sour." He added with a playful grin, "just like you in the mornings."
Huffing irritably, Killian gave Jasper a hard whack at the back of the head. Taking a bite, he then widened his eyes with surprise. "You're right," Killian said. "Sour." He ruffled Jasper's hair with a small smile, "Just like me in the mornings."