Dear Diary,
Have there been any recordings of brides
vomiting in church? I fear I might.
The church in Bridlewood was a quaint structure from the 13th century, with fine detailing from the medieval era seen in the beautifully carved stone knots on the chancel arch. The exterior was made of typical English grey stone, flint, and early brick, with a small octagonal church tower. For some reason, Angel had believed her nerves would settle once she got inside the old building, but they did not. Not even a little.
Standing in front of the priest with Nathaniel on her right side and her brother on her left, she felt as if she might be sick. The priest spoke, but she couldn't focus on his words over the loud pounding of her own heart drumming in her ears. What if I faint? Would they still continue the ceremony if she wasn't able to say 'I will'? Nathaniel looked cool and composed as if the many sets of eyes watching them weren't affecting him at all, while she kept fingering the cufflinks of her brother's tailcoat. Finally, James moved his hand to cover hers and gave it a gentle squeeze.
A warm rush of embarrassment heated her cheeks as she looked up at him, and he gave her a quick, encouraging smile. That calmed her marginally. Which was fortunate, because the priest had just asked the most important question of the day.
"I will." Nathaniel's eyes didn't leave hers when he answered and her throat suddenly felt dry.
The priest turned towards her, and she froze. There was no way she could speak the words necessary. Not with everyone staring at her.
"Wilt thou have this man to thy wedded husband, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of matrimony? Wilt thou obey him, and serve him, love, honour, and keep him in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all other, keep thee only unto him, so long as you both shall live?"
Her throat seized, and she worried she might faint before her mouth finally cooperated. "I will."
The relief of having been able to say the words calmed her some, but she couldn't quite relax knowing that she still had to get through the wedding breakfast. And the wedding night... There was so much yet to come.
"Who giveth this woman to be married to this man?" the priest asked.
James stirred and gave her over to the priest, whose cold, dry hands on hers had an oddly calming effect. The old man motioned for Nathaniel to come a little closer and then made him take her right hand with his own. His strong, warm hand touched hers and when she looked up to meet his dark eyes, she knew everything would be fine. Her nervousness dispersed like the morning mist on the heaths surrounding Hefferton Place. They repeated the vows after the priest and during the entire recitation, Nathaniel held her gaze. It made her forget about everyone else in church, the wedding breakfast, and the night to come. All that existed was her and him, and the crisp voice of the priest reading their vows.
The ring Nathaniel had given her after their engagement ball was brought forward, and he gently put it on the fourth finger of her left hand. Breaking protocol slightly, he then raised her hand to his face and placed a soft kiss on the knuckle just above the ring.
Maybe she would faint after all.
"With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow. In the name of the Father, and the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen."
Words that had never meant much to her took on their own special meaning when uttered by Nathaniel. Even when she had made a similar statement a few moments ago, it had not been the same. The priest continued speaking, but she was no longer paying attention. But this time it was because the look in Nathaniel's eyes held her spellbound. Finally, the words she'd been waiting for were heard, 'I pronounce that they be man and wife together...'
She had never realised how much of the solemnisation of marriage remained after those words, but as she stood beside Nathaniel, knowing she was now his legal wife, it didn't matter that she had to stay in the church a while longer. Once the psalms were sung and the rites said they were asked to sign the register, and she realised with a little nostalgia that this would be the last time she would sign her maiden name on anything ever again.
Outside the church in the courtyard, their family and friends stood on both sides of the path leading down to the gates. Several cheerful shouts of good luck and well done echoed around them, but Nathaniel ignored them as he led her to the open carriage that would take them to Davenhall, where the festivities would continue. After assisting her into the vehicle, he jumped up and sat down next to her as they began moving with a servant from Davenhall at the reins.
"You look beautiful," Nathaniel said, sliding a little closer on the bench to caress a lock of hair that had fallen out of her elaborate hairdo.
"Thank you," she mumbled as her cheeks heated. How was it that she was now a married woman? It didn't seem real.
She ran her hands down the skirt of the wedding dress, smoothing out imagined creases. Mrs Grey had helped her choose the garment, and she was so very pleased with it. While a simple cut, it suited her well. She'd gone for a lovely white, which she had favoured over the blue and silver that were also popular. A red rose had been pinned to the chest on the left side with a few more roses tucked into her hair, which was gathered in a mass of curls and braids at the top of her head.
"It's a pretty dress," Nathaniel said before leaning closer. When he was close enough that she felt his hot breath on her ear, he whispered, "I can't wait until I can take it off."
If she thought her face had been hot before, it was nothing compared to the furnace currently burning her cheeks. She threw a quick glance at the driver, but he didn't appear to have heard them.
Nathaniel touched her chin with his fingers and turned her head to meet his gaze. "Has anyone ever told you how adorable you look when you blush?"
"No." Her voice was little more than a whisper as she tried to calm her racing pulse. "And when you do, it makes me even more embarrassed."
He chuckled. "I don't mind. It just makes you more adorable."
"I was so very nervous during the ceremony," she said, hoping to change the subject. "You didn't seem the least bit nervous."
"Oh, I was," he said while playing with a lock of hair at her temple. Every time his knuckles brushed against her, tiny jolts travelled across her skin. "I just hid it well."
"Well enough to fool me."
He smiled at her dry tone but seemed a little preoccupied as he looked down at her. "I beg your pardon," he said after a moment. "It seems I am having trouble keeping my thoughts from travelling forward in time."
"How so?"
"I keep thinking about tonight," he admitted in a voice so low the driver wouldn't hear him. "Can't we cancel the breakfast and just be alone already?"
While talking, he'd twisted a little and his arm now rested on the top of the seat behind her. His fingertips traced simple shapes on her neck and nape, and shivers of pleasure travelled down her spine. She sighed. "You know we cannot do that."
"I know." He gave her a lopsided smile. "But I still wish we could. I want to do nothing but touch you."
"You are touching me," she said reasonably, making him laugh.
Bending closer again, he whispered hotly in her ear, "I want to touch you everywhere," he confessed. "I want to take off all your clothes and caress every inch of you."
"Oh." It certainly wasn't the most eloquent response, but she doubted she could have said anything else. She shifted in her seat as warmth spread through her after his words. If hearing him say it made her react like this, what would it be like when he actually did it? Flustered, she made a show out of looking out over their surroundings. "Are we there yet?"
"Soon," he promised with a smile that told her he knew exactly how he affected her. Throwing a glance behind them, he sighed. "And the others aren't far behind."
Davenhall turned out to be lying at the bottom of a valley, surrounded by acres of beautiful parkland, and with traditional walled gardens. The manor itself was a brick building enclosed by a medieval moat with a stone bridge leading across. It was a beautiful estate with wonderful, differently themed gardens they passed through on their way towards the house. She could see a rose garden, an orchard, and an oriental garden. The manor house itself looked enchanting where it stood enclosed by the wide moat, with lush green ivy clinging to its facade.
Crossing the stone bridge, Angel peered over the edge of the carriage into the water. It didn't look entirely clean, but not as stale as she'd have expected of a moat either.
"There is a small stream that leads into it," Nathaniel told her. "So it never runs out of water."
"You have a beautiful house," she said as the carriage pulled to a stop in front of the manor.
"Thank you." He jumped down and offered her his hand. "But it's our house now."
Taking his hand and stepping down, she looked at the ivy growing along the front of the house and smiled. She could see what Jessica meant when she said Davenhall felt like a home. There was something inviting about the house. Comforting and safe. The building was large without feeling imposing, and the romantic gardens surrounding the house made it feel like somewhere you'd want to be.
"Since we're lucky with the weather, Aunt Jane has prepared the wedding breakfast to be served in the formal garden," Nathaniel told her as he led her inside the house. "It's in the back, so we have to walk through unless you want to swim in the moat. Which, by the way, I don't recommend since the water gets quite dirty."
They entered a large hallway with a marble floor and cream-coloured walls. A large staircase followed along one wall to reach the next floor, and there were exits leading in all other directions to different parts of the house. The servants stood in a line waiting to greet the master's new wife, and Nathaniel quickly introduced them all to her, promising a more in-depth introduction later when they weren't all fidgeting to get back to the preparations for the breakfast. During the introductions, the guests had arrived, so when Angel and Nathaniel exited the back of the house, their families and most of their friends had already arrived.
The formal garden turned out to be a rather extensive area at the back of the house. The moat, apparently, only enclosed the front courtyard. A large lawn with beds of flowers and trimmed bushes spread out before them, and Mrs Grey had arranged tables and chairs on the grass where guests could sit and enjoy the meal. Two smaller tables had been set up filled with delicious bread, hot rolls, ham, and eggs. In the middle of the table, a wedding cake had been placed, and Nick was already looking at it as if she was planning to steal it and make a run for it.
The guests were mainly Nathaniel's family and people living in the area, as well as a few of his friends from London. The Duke of Ashbrook had appeared but was nowhere near Wortham, who stood with James and the remaining Howertys. Everyone came forward to offer congratulations and best wishes, and the attention made Angel slightly uncomfortable. But she would grin and bear it. This was her wedding day, and she appreciated everyone taking time out of their lives to come and celebrate with them. Once everyone had congratulated them, it was time for the meal.
On the whole, it was a pleasant day with a lot of laughter and not a little bit of ribbing of the newlyweds. In the afternoon, Mrs Grey had arranged for some locals from the village to play music and the lawn was cleared for people to dance, leaving only some chairs for those who would rather sit and chat. There were only two disturbances during the day, and the first was when Nick and Rain got into a fight—they both had tempers as hot as Nathaniel, Mrs Grey told her with a sigh—and had to be forcefully separated before they could tear each other's hair out.
The second disturbance was when Nick fell into the moat. She'd been climbing out on the limb of a tree growing next to the water and had lost her grip and fallen straight in. Mrs Grey had taken her inside to wash her and get her a new dress before she could return to the party. Angel didn't mind, partly because it took some attention away from her, but also because it made her feel a part of a family. Nathaniel had been attentive and charming the whole day, only embarrassing her occasionally with dark, promising looks that reminded her of the night to come.
As the evening dusk settled, Mrs Grey had lights lit throughout the garden, creating a romantic atmosphere that worked very well together with the music and the drinks being offered. Angel sat on a chair watching people dancing when Mrs Grey came to sit next to her. After a quick look to see where Nathaniel was—talking to James and Wortham a short distance away—she smiled at Angel.
"It has been a wonderful day," she said.
"It has indeed," Angel agreed.
"Aside from a few smaller mishaps involving the girls." Mrs Grey threw a disapproving look towards the aforementioned girls, who were now dancing merrily with some boys of a similar age.
"I have heard it's not considered a good wedding unless there are at least two mishaps." Angel smiled teasingly.
Mrs Grey laughed. "That may be so."
"Mrs Grey." Angel took the older woman's hand in hers, meeting her gaze. "You cannot possibly understand how grateful I am to be part of your family." She smiled a little, adding, "Mishaps or no mishaps."
The older woman squeezed her hand. "I'm glad Nathaniel married such a sensible, lovely girl," she said. "And please. Call me Aunt Jane. You're family now."
Angel smiled. "Aunt Jane. That will take some getting used to."
"You'll learn soon enough."
The other woman was silent for a moment, looking at the people dancing on the lawn, before turning to her again. "Are you nervous?" she asked. "I know I was a bundle of nerves before my wedding night."
Angel's cheeks heated. "Yes," she admitted. "I am, but I suppose that is to be expected."
"I think so," Mrs Grey said and added with a light chuckle, "Something is probably wrong if you're not at least a little bit nervous."
"Nervous about what?" Jessica asked as she joined them and sat down on Angel's other side.
"Never you mind," Mrs Grey said. "This is something between married women."
Jessica smirked. "I see."
"Why don't you go ask the maids to draw Angel a bath?" Mrs Grey suggested.
"Not very subtle, are you?" Jessica muttered dryly before she gave Angel a hug and left them alone.
"I thought a bath might help you relax a little. You can retire early to enjoy it in peace. It's allowed to retire a little early on your wedding night."
"That sounds lovely." Angel gave the other woman a grateful smile. "How soon do you think I can escape?"
"Soon, I'm sure. People are quite into their cups by now and will most likely not even notice." She nodded towards a man sitting a short distance away with his chin against his chest, snoring loudly. Nathaniel had introduced him as Squire Barton, a man who lived on the other side of the village.
Angel smiled. "I will leave soon then."
"I'll go check on your bath in a moment," Mrs Grey said before meeting her eyes. "I know you and Nathaniel have opted to stay here at Davenhall instead of going on a honeymoon. Newlyweds require some privacy, which is not something you'd get with the girls living here, so I've agreed with His Grace that the girls and I can stay at Holcombe Hall for a week."
"That is not necessary," Angel quickly said, feeling bad about the idea of forcing them out of their home for her sake.
Mrs Grey smiled. "I know you don't expect us to, but I think it's good for you and Nathaniel to have some time to yourselves as you settle into married life."
The thought of what married life entailed warmed her cheeks, but she nodded. "Thank you. I appreciate that."
"Besides," Mrs Grey added with a teasing smile. "It is not as if living at Holcombe is an inconvenience."
"I suppose not." Angel laughed.
Standing up, Mrs Grey excused herself to check on the preparations for the night. Angel remained where she was, enjoying being able to sit and watch the guests as they danced and chatted. The bath sounded like a wonderful idea. Some time alone might help calm her frazzled nerves. Sooner than expected, Mrs Grey returned and brought her inside the house.
"The maids are preparing your bath now," she said. "I will show you to the master bedroom."
Following the older woman upstairs, they walked down the hall to an open door where maids carried buckets of hot water. It was a large room decorated mainly in green and rich cream, with large windows facing the extensive gardens around the house. A massive four-poster bed dominated the room, and two comfortable chairs had a chessboard on a table between them. Opposite the bed was a large fireplace of white and Siena marble. In front of the crackling fire, the servants had prepared a tub with hot water for her bath.
"The room is at the end of the hallway since Nathaniel decided not to use the original state bedroom," Mrs Grey told her as she had her sit on a low stool and started pulling the pins out of her hair. "He found it held too many memories of his parents, so he had a wall erected to turn it into two separate rooms. Two others were put together to create this one."
"It's a lovely room." Staring at her wide-eyed reflection in the mirror, Angel hoped she didn't look as nervous as she felt. The gentle chatter from the older woman was helping calm her nerves somewhat. She felt sad for Nathaniel, who had not been able to face sleeping in his late parents' room. The amount of pain he must have felt to make such large changes to his house in order to avoid it made her heart ache for him.
After delivering and pouring in the last few buckets of hot water, the maids excused themselves and left the two women alone. Mrs Grey effectively finished undoing Angel's hair and let it fall down her back before she moved over to put her hand in the water.
"Perfect," she said, and then smiled as she must have seen the look of panic on Angel's face. "Don't worry, dear. It's really not as bad as you've heard."
"What?" She could barely hear herself think over the racing pulse roaring in her ears. "The bath?"
Mrs Grey laughed. "No. The wedding night."
"Oh. That." Running a hand through her loose hair, she mumbled, "The birds and the bees."
"What was that?" Mrs Grey asked as she put a small stool next to the tub and placed a towel, a bar of soap, and some rose-scented water on it.
"Nothing." Her cheeks burned, but she refused to admit her ignorance. Whatever James had meant to tell her to allay her worries, it had not shed so much as a sliver of light on what was to come.
"Do you need any help getting undressed? I can send one of the upstairs maids."
"No, I should be fine."
"Well, then." Mrs Grey walked over and gave her a hug. "I will see you in a few days. Welcome to the family, Angel."
She nodded and flashed the other woman a brief smile before watching her leave the room and closing the door behind her. It took a few moments before she could bring herself to stand up and undress. Most of the guests were still outside in the garden enjoying the festivities, so she should have plenty of time to enjoy her bath and calm her nerves. Folding her dress away, she walked over to the bed. Something red caught her gaze and she couldn't hold back a smile as she picked up the single, dark red rose lying on the white sheets. A thoughtful reminder from Nathaniel. No matter what, she knew he would be gentle and caring. The night suddenly seemed a little less daunting.
~~~~~~