RPOV
Stepping out of the jet and onto the grounds of St. Vladimir's Academy brought a rush of memories I thought I'd never look back on. Memories I sworn to never look back on. But I couldn't help it.
Walking through the quad, I remembered the days Lissa and I would skip class to sit out on the benches when the weather was warm to drink beer while laughing and sharing the updates of our lives. Walking past the cafeteria made my stomach groan out in hunger, but also twist with the memory of the entire student body gossiping about one of the many rumours that spread through these halls and gave them the right to use those rumours to target Lissa and I.
Then there was the gym. It seemed like every inch of this place was haunted by both good and bad memories, and the gym had the most ghosts. It's where I spent most of my time. I was either training or in class, and since I hated most of my classes, my only source of joy came from those training sessions. A small portion was because I loved kicking ass but the real reason was my mentor. The mentor who I spent almost every free moment with for almost a year. My mentor who trained me, who believed in me and who made me the badass guardian I am today. My mentor, whom I had a massive crush on and who I eventually fell in love with and who I thought loved me back. Because of that false judgment, the joy I once felt for this place withered away.
Sofia was beyond excited to be here. Despite being extremely tired and sulky after waking her up, she instantly brightened up once she knew where we were. She had begged us to let her visit the academy ever since we told her about it. She even refused to go to normal human school, insisting on wanting to attend here. Christian and I weren't against the idea of her attending St. Vlad's but attending the academy literally gave dhampires only one (respectable) career option, and that was becoming a guardian. With that came an unbelievable amount of responsibility and pressure. Not to mention dangers. I refused to let her grow up feeling forced to have to give up her life protecting and potentially dying for some snobbish royal who would replace her within a day or two. I'm not saying I wasn't happy with where I was. I would just want her to have the option to do other things if she wanted to. It was about having choices.
Alberta was very happy to see us. Even more so when I introduced her to Sophie. She had heard rumors about me being a mother, but since I hadn't said anything directly to her, she didn't believe it. Until now. I promised to chat with her as soon as I could, and since it was already sinking into moroi night, we retired to our respective dorms.
Sophie and I shared a room while Christian got his own. It was a single space with a bed, a small desk facing the corner, and a simple kitchenette space. I was grateful for the bathroom since the thought of walking to the communal bathroom in the middle of the night with Sofia truly exhausted me.
The chicken and rice meal on the flight over was filling enough, and soon both Sofia and I were out cold.
I think it was around three in the moroi night when my sleep broke. Despite the darkened windows' assistance blocking out the light that was surely trying to seep through into the room, my sleeping pattern was still messed up from the sudden change. I peeped over at Sophie, who was still sound asleep next to me. I fell asleep with her in my arms, but now she was sprawled across on the other side of the bed with her one leg hanging off the end.
I got out of bed and started down at her. Her mouth was open, letting out a pool of drool flow onto her pillow. Her dark hair looked like a nest since we were both too tired to brush it out last night. I moved her to the center of the bed and pulled the hair tied off my head and haphazardly tied hers up. She groaned a little and turned over, tucking her arm under her head and curling herself into a ball. I just stared at her and smiled. There were no words I could use to explain how I felt. Despite feeling groggy and awful, I couldn't help but smile at her. My heart felt like it might explode sometimes from how much love I felt from just seeing her and holding her. She made me happy by just existing. She was my everything.
I gently leaned down and kissed her forehead. She hummed softly but remained asleep.
I brushed my teeth and changed into my workout clothes. I figured since I woke up early, I might as well start my morning workout. I felt my phone on the bedside table with a voice note recorded and ready for Sophie when she woke up telling her where I was. Despite being only six years old, Sophie was a wiz on the phone. Seemed like all kids were these days. Great, I sound like boomer.
The campus was still quiet. Most of the population were enjoying the last few hours of sleep before the day began. I, on the other hand, was heading onto the track for my morning warm-up exercise. I started slow, warming myself up before kicking it up to my full speed. I let my mind roam free as I ran, the rhythmic sound of my feet and heartbeat drifting off in the background. I thought about the classes that would begin later that day. About how the students would react to the change in dynamics between the moroi and dhampires. Of course, there would be resistance. Especially from the royals but also some dhampires. Most of these kids were taught since day one that the moroi came first and that they're were to be protected at all cost. That's what I believed, what I still believe. But there was no point in denying that the methods that we've been using thus far weren't helping anybody. Change needed to happen. Otherwise, we could say goodbye to the moroi race for good and, by extension, the dhampire race. So yeah, change sucked ass but it was necessary.
I began slowing down, reaching my last two laps. I walked the last one, enjoying the feeling of the adrenaline rush that flowed through my body.
After a few stretches, I went into the gym for some weights. I took off my loose vest that now clung to my body because of the sweat and threw it next to my bag, remaining in only my sportsbra. I had just begun when I heard the door open. I peaked over my shoulder to see who it was, and immediately, my body filled with dread. I walked the last person I wanted to be alone with. He came to halt when he saw me. Nervousness and discomfort played along his features but also a hint of excitement? I erased all emotion from my face, a neat trick I had learned from him, and casually nodded, acknowledging his presence and going back to my workout. I kept my focus on the task at hand, completely ignoring the tall guardian a few feet away.
That seemed to be the end of the awkward moment. He started his workout, and I carried on with mine. It started to feel like I was back home. I was working out by myself, thinking about what I was going to do that day, and what I was going to eat for breakfast. I was really in the mood for some pancakes. Or maybe French toast. I wonder if the cafeteria would have that. I wouldn't mind a doughnut either, but I wanted something savory this morning. Maybe some bacon... "Hello."
Suddenly Dimitri wasn't on the other side of the gym but right next to me. I blinked out of my thoughts and locked eyes with Dimitri, who was so close. I took two steps back, which he definitely noticed judging from the tiniest frown that disappeared as quickly as it appeared. "Hi."
"It's good to see you again. I did not get a chance to speak to you sooner," he said politely.
It was evident he was trying to make an effort. Maybe I should do the same. I would make the effort to be civil, but there was no way in hell I would allow him to treat me like the little teenage girl who was dumb enough to believe he actually loved and cared for me. No way in hell was I going to let that happen again. I calmly composed myself and smiled kindly to him. "Guardian Belikov, it's good to see you too. How have you been?"
His smile twitched at the use of his professional title, "I'm doing fine. Thank you and you? How have you been, Rose?" I felt a shiver run through me at the sound of my name on his lips. He was staring intently at me now. I knew exactly what he was doing. He was trying to get a reaction out of me. I'm trying to decipher if I'm still the same old Rose he knew before he disappeared. I secured my emotionless mask and calmly smiled at him. "I'm well, thank you."
I was ready to drop the conversation and continue to ignore him. I moved to the punching bag, wrapping my fist in tape when he came and stood behind the blue bag, clearly not finished with the conversation.
"It's strange to see you up this early. From what I can remember, you disliked early morning trainings," he lightly mused. I threw my first punch at the bag. That was an understatement. I hated them. Waking up earlier than the rest of campus frustrated and drained me. But I felt different now. "A lot has changed since you last saw me," I snipped. After a pause, I added, "Also, my sleep broke. I'm still getting used to the new sleeping pattern."
"That's true. I'm also trying to figure my way through it again," he smiled.
"Hmm."
He just stood there for a while as I punched and kicked. Usually, I would have ignored it. It wouldn't be the first time a man stared at me while I was in the gym. But I could ignore the burning sensation his eyes left on my body. If anything, his stare unnerved me more than if some werido stared at me because I could handle myself against some creep. Dimitri had me blindsided. I didn't know how I would react, and I was too scared to find out.
"Are you just going to stand there?" I finally demanded after a painfully long moment of silence."Say what you want to say."
He didn't respond. He just stared, but I knew the gears were turning in his head. I stopped punching and stared at him. Looking at him up closely, I couldn't help but compare him to Sofia. When she was born, her hair was the same chocolate brown as his, but over time, it darkened to match my own. She had the same light tan skin, but the most striking of resemblance were the eyes. Those dark, endless chocolate pools were the windows to their hearts, and they were the most beautiful feature on both of them.
"Go ahead," I challenged.
He arched one of his eyebrows at me. Damn him for being able to do that. I still couldn't do it.
"Fine. Why are you guarding Christian and not Lissa?" he asked, dropping the casual act all together. I narrowed my eyes ever so slightly but kept my face blank. "We don't get to choose who we guard. You, of all people, should know that. Besides, it's none of your business who my charge is."
"You and Lissa would have fought tooth and nail to stay together. What changed?"
"Things don't always work out the way you want them to. That's life."
He gave me a hard look, trying but failing to keep his frustration hidden from me. "You're not telling me everything," he accused.
"This may come as a shock to you, but I don't have to tell you anything. I don't owe you anything. I think I'm done for a day. Goodbye, Guardian Belikov." I abandoned the punching bag and went to gather my stuff to leave. Just as I was about to leave, Christian barged into the gym. He faltered for a moment when he saw Dimitri and I together but ignored it and focused on me. "What are you doing here?" he asked. I lifted my bad and motioned around us, "What do you think?" He pressed the bridge of his nose and groaned. "Where is Sophie, Rose?" "What do you mean where's Sophie? She's in our room, asleep."
"No, she's not. I just came from there. Your room was unlocked, and she wasn't there," reported Christian urgently. For a moment, my heart stopped. Sophie was notorious for wondering off, and despite it happening more than once, my mind would always conjure up the worst-case scenario. Christian must have sensed the panic rising in me because he gripped my hand, forcing me to face him. "Don't panic. She must be on the grounds. We'll spilt up and find her, okay?" I bobbed my head in agreement, and we left the gym in search of Sofia. I noticed another figure follow us and saw Dimitri leave as well.
"Where are you going?" I inquired.
"I'm coming to help you," he replied. My mind was too preoccupied to even question why he wanted to help. I mumbled my appreciation and took off in search of my baby.
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DPOV
Painful. That would be the word I would use to describe being here. I've been a coward, avoiding the academy and court for years because of the memories I had tied to it. Memories of my faults and mistakes. I carried on with my life trying to pretend that that night had never happened. I pretended that I hadn't run out on her. For the most part, it worked. I kept myself distracted and focused my energy on my work and my new life. I had more freedom. I had a charge who was more a companion than an employer. My life was better than most, and yet it was still incomplete. The guilt followed me everywhere I went. Tasha was kind and patient with me. She never questioned my choice to accept her offer, nor did she dig deeper in matters that didn't concern her. And I appreciated that more than ever.
I knew I would see her at court. It would have been foolish of me to think I wouldn't. As the guardian to the last living Dragomir and possible future queen, Rose would have been a well-known and high ranked guardian at court. I expected a trained and fierce guardian, someone who was well known and respected. Someone who by now could have been in social circles and maybe have had a lover or two. I expected that. I had prepared myself to see that. But never in my wildest dream did I think I would meet this Rose. A mother. That was the last thing that was ever on her mind. She wanted to be Vasilissa's guardian more than anything in the world. She had sworn her life to protect her, but now Christian was her charge? That didn't make sense. Not only that, but he was the father of her child. Christian of all people. Perhaps Adrian would have been more likely, but Christian? It made absolutely no sense.
My mind kept trying to piece all of this together as I ran through the school looking for the little girl, Sofia was her name. Nothing could have prepared me for that shock. I had tried my best to remove all emotion from my face when we exchanged greetings. I kept my focus on the group as a whole, but despite my efforts, my eyes kept finding her face. She avoided looking at me, keeping her focus solely on Tasha. She was just as beautiful as the last I saw her. Her dark locks were shorter now, reaching just below her shoulders. Her body and skin had changed as well. Her skin was more tanned and golden, and her feminine curves looked sharper and beautifully carved. I also noticed a few of her old traits were still there. The gnawing of her lip, her tight smile to hide her feelings, even the shifting of feet as she spoke. It was all the same.
Perhaps if I had torn my attention away from Rose, I would have noticed what was happening around me. Firstly, I would have noticed the absence of Vasilissa. Secondly, I would have seen how close Christian and Rose were next to each other, and thirdly, I would have seen the growing tension amongst the small group. Maybe then the blow wouldn't have been as bad when I saw a little girl who was the splitting image of Rose run into her arms. But then again, I doubted that was possible.
I couldn't process it. Seeing Rose with a family, a child with another man who wasn't me. That had always been my dream, to have a family of my own with the woman I loved. And here was Rose, living that dream with someone else.
I was nearing towards the primary section, and from the distance, I saw someone walking alone through the pathway. I slowed my pace and gently approached the young child.
"Hello Sofia," I said kindly. Despite my attempt at a gentle approach, I had still managed to frighten her.
"You scared me!" she cried furiously. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you." Her angry features shifted a little upon recognizing me. "I know you. You were with that mean lady who was shouting at my mommy."
I felt my face burn from memory of that day. The little girl now stared accusingly at me. I nervously coughed, "Yes, my name is Dimitri Belikov, and I'm her guardian."
"Oh, so you're a dhampire just like mommy and me," she noted more to herself than me. "Yes," I said, "and she's very worried because she couldn't find you."
"But I couldn't find her. I left the room to go look for her but I got lost. It's not my fault. This place is so big," she complained with a pouty face. There was no denying she was Rose's daughter. A mini-Rose.
"Come on, I'll take you to her," I said.
"You'll help me?" she asked skeptically. "Yes, of course. Why wouldn't I?"
"Mommy and Bubby always told me not to trust strangers, and I am definitely not supposed to follow them," she said, eyeing me suspiciously. "Why should I go with you?"
"Because I know your parents very well, and I promise not to hurt you."
"How do you know them?" she asked.
"I was one of the academy guardians while they were here. I was also your mother's mentor," I told her.
"What's a mentor?" I smiled and explained the meaning to her.
"So you taught my mommy how to kick butt?" she exclaimed excitedly. I openly laughed and nodded. "That's so cool. I've always wanted to learn how to fight. Mommy wants me to wait till I'm older, but Bubbyy shows me some moves whenever she's not around as long as I promise not to hit anyone. You know, just in case," she winked. Definitely a little Rose.
"So, do you trust me?" I asked, smiling down at her. She gave it one last thought before nodding her head and began following me. She was a little chatter box. She asked all sorts of questions, most of which had to do with my appearance. My favorite being 'why do you talk funny?'
We were nearing the gym when Sofia saw her parents and quickly ran towards him. Rose bent down and did a quick examination of her and then began, from what I could tell from the distance, a long scolding. As I approached, I was able to piece some of it. "We were so worried about you. Why would you just wonder off like that? That was so silly of you," she reprimanded. "You're in a new place. This isn't home where you know everyone and everything. It can be dangerous. Promise me you won't do that again," said Christian.
"I won't," she promised. "I'm sorry."
I was about to go away when Rose stopped me. "Isn't there something you'd like to say to guardian Belikov?" she hinted. The little girl gifted me with a toothy smile and said thank you and went inside the gym. Rose nodded a thanks and followed her daughter. Christian gave me a hard, long look before eventually following them inside as well. I couldn't help but feel envious of the little family. Of Christian and even Rose. They had everything I had wanted but was too far beyond my reach. After years, I was still unable to shake off the attachments I had to Rose, but it seemed as if she had moved on perfectly without me. I was jealous and furious, but more at myself than anybody else. I had caused this for myself.
Through the glass, I saw little Sofia try to throw at punch at Christian, and him blocked and tickled her sides. Her laughter rang through all the way outside. She was a sweet and beautiful child, a carbon copy of her mother. Except her eyes, which, oddly, reminded me much of my own mother's.