Winter Jackson♡︎.
Los Angeles
RECAP
"SOY TU MADRE WINTER! I'm sorry.." (I am your mother) Silence was between the two while they rode in the car. "Winter say something.. Please."
I still couldn't form words to leave my mouth. I have so many questions but, I still couldn't find the right words.
"Winter-" this time I cut her off.
"Did you know what I was going through?" I asked. The crack in my voice made my heart sink. You know the feeling in your throat when it's closing. The feeling where you're about to cry?
She pulled into her driveway and put the car in park. "Did you or did you NOT know what I was going through?" I asked a little harshly.
"No. At least I didn't know it was happening for so long." I snapped my head in her direction in confusion. The answer is yes or no. "About a year ago your mom- Deja called me telling me about the razors in your bathroom."
"I don't understand." I faced forward not wanting to look at her.
"Winter I wasn't stable enough to take care of you. Razors, drugs and when I found out I was pregnant with you I got cleaned up but, then your father went to jail right before you were born and I-"
"Calm down. You're all over the place! Why did you leave me with them? That's all I want to know."
She took a deep breath before speaking. "Deja couldn't have any kids. We thought it was best for you to be with them. Successful plus power couple."
"Who is we?"
"You're Aunt, Uncle and grandparents. They made me sign a contract. It was that or get you taken by the system cause of my drug addiction."
What?
"It was only supposed to be until I got clean but, the contract didn't say that. I was the dumb bitch to not read it. But, I wouldn't think my sister would actually go against me like that. Not my big sister."
I tried to feel sorry or some sympathy. But, this story was so hard to believe. "I'm confused" I simply said.
"I was 16 when I had you. Your father was 18. He sold drugs around the neighborhood. I started to touch the drugs when I was worried he was out late dying. After a while I became addicted. But, when I found out I was pregnant I knew I needed to get clean so I did. The family didn't claim me when I was high off drugs but, they began to love me again when I was clean and pregnant. Your slowed down the business. Everything was perfect."
She smiled into space reminiscing. "Until my parents found out their precious Deja couldn't have kids. She couldn't hold on nor give birth. They blamed me!" She said in a whisper tone but yelled pointing at her chest.
Neither of us could look each other in the eye. I just listened while she spoke.
"So your dad he turned into the guy I once fell in love with! Kind, smart, loving and he was here for me. He didn't leave my side. 7 months into the pregnancy he got arrested. He knew.."
"He knew he was getting locked up. He tried his hardest for you to remember his voice. Singing to you. Rubbing his hand over my stomach just talking while you would just kick." Tears streamed down her eyes as she rubbed her stomach.
My dad..
"Everybody kept telling me if I gave you to your Aunt while I got on my feet they will give you back. I didn't work. I was broke and they robbed your dad before I could get my pregnant ass to the money. I was depressed I needed rehab so I agreed. Signing the papers I left for a year and they never gave you back to me."
She started crying harder. I don't know what to. I'm always awkward during this time. What the hell am I supposed to do hug her?
"Where's my dad?" I asked her. Maybe she will calm down.
"He just got out! He had 18 years. He got out early good behavior." She smiled trying to wipe the non-stop tears from falling.
"You're still in contact with him?"
Nodding her head she frowned. "He doesn't like talking to me though. He always tells me I should've fought for his baby girl. I know I should've. But, 16 years old fighting your parents when your already a disappointment."
"Tus abuelos estaban locos!" (Your grandparents were crazy) We both began laughing.
"Can I meet him?" I asked once laughter fell. Her eyes widen but, none the less nodded.
(Whew chile..🌚)
RECAP(not edited after this)
I laid down remembering our conversation. I was supposed to be talking to my dad in about a hour. I told my aunt I needed a nap. Well my mom.
Getting up I walked to the connected bathroom in my room.
Summer has done right by herself. She's a nurse at this big ass hospital and this house is big especially for one person living here.
I hopped in the shower and washed my body while lightly scrubbing my stomach. Softly singing to my big belly as the baby kicked.
I know Loyal would want to be here.
Rinsing off my body I got out the shower and dried off slipping my under garments on I put lotion on my body.
Making it back to my room I put grey nike sweat shorts and a white tank top. And fluffy socks on my feet.
There was knock at my bedroom door and I stood there taking a deep breath before opening it.
"He's in the living room." I peeked to see a big ass buff darkskin man wiping his hands on his pants like he was nervous.
Why the fuck is this big ass man nervous??
"Hi.." I said making my way into the living room. He turned around and froze.
As well as I. I looked just like him. Same nose, same eyes, small big lips my mother's genes said No❤️. He had waves with a big beard he was at least 6'6- 6'7. This is a big man.
"I'm your-" His strong Jamaican accent made my eyes widen. I slowly ran too him as fast as I could with this big belly and hugged him. I remembered his voice.
"Dere is a brown girl in the ring
Tra la la la la
Dere is a brown girl in the ring
Tra la la la la la
Brown girl in the ring
Tra la la la la
Shi luk lakka sugar and a plum
Plum plum."
I could hear sniffs and cries. "You remember?" He asked. I don't know how but this song would always play in my head when I was a little girl, Deja and her husband would make me stop singing it but, I never forgot it.
"I sang it as a little girl." I said looking at his now red eyes. A tear fell and he hugged me a little tighter not to too tight to hurt the baby but, just tight enough.
(I'm trying to make it funny cause i'm lowkey getting teary eyed.)
"I'm so sorry." I heard my aunt-mom say. letting go of my dad so walked over to her and hugged her.
"Just don't fail my nugget." I pointed at my stomach.
___________________________________
"There's a brown girl in the ring
Tra la la la la
There's a brown girl in the ring
Tra la la la la la
Brown girl in the ring
Tra la la la la
She looks like a sugar and a plum*
Plum, plum!" Here's the song in English..
El O El. I was too tired to edit last night so fuck y'all.