"Stop being so nervous." Hoseok jabbed the boy between the ribs, making him startle out of his thoughts. "It'll be fine."
Jeongguk threw the other a filthy glare but kept his mouth as they made their way towards the familiar café. "You know what will make me less nervous?" He decided to ask once they neared the door.
"What would that be?" Hoseok asked, an impressed tone in his voice, hands pushing the door open. The little bell rang and it made Jeongguk's hand twitch, the nerves settling in again.
"You paying for my drink again."
"I was already going to do that, idiot." Hoseok said with a roll of his eye. "Go take a seat somewhere. I'll go fetch us our drinks."
Jeongguk noticed an empty seat in the back and slid into the booth, his legs wobbling because of the nerves. With anxious eyes he watched Hoseok walk over to the familiar looking cashier – Namjoon he was called if he remembered correctly- whose face lit up as he chattered with the boy.
He seems nice.
The serenity he had felt when watching Namjoon talk was quickly forgotten when the little bell chimed and in walked a man, clad in black jeans and a big yellow hoodie, hair a deep black as he sauntered into the café, his chains that were looped through his belt moving.
The man had an intimidating aura around him, not a hint of happiness on his face until he made eye contact with the people at the counter – specifically the one behind it. "Joonie." The man suddenly smiled, his eyes squeezing shut as he wandered over to the cashier.
He watched Hoseok turn around at hearing the voice and smile back at the newcomer. The man came to a halt in front of the counter and started talking to Hoseok after throwing Namjoon a flirty smile.
Hoseok said something to the man and suddenly pointed over at where Jeongguk was sitting, making the man glance at him.
Jeongguk then realized this must be Yoongi, the man he was supposed to meet here.
The raven haired male winked towards Namjoon and then sauntered over to where Jeongguk was sitting. Jeongguk felt his nerves double when the man reached his table.
"Hello there." Yoongi said before sliding into the booth. "You're Jeongguk, right?"
What if I just lied and ran away right now?
"Yes, you must be Yoongi, Hoseok's cousin." The younger boy replied, ducking his head. "It's nice to meet you."
"It's nice to finally meet you as well." Yoongi smiled. He seemed kind and the intimidating aura he had when entering the cafe had dissipated.
Jeongguk felt himself relax a bit but he managed to catch the way Yoongi glanced at the side to check if Hoseok was still talking to Namjoon and leaned in.
"Before anything, I wanted to thank you for looking after Hoseok."
Jeongguk frowned and shuffled his feet. "Looking after him? If anything, he's been looking after me. He lets me stay at his house, buys me food and makes sure my homework is done."
"You know what I mean Jeongguk." The older man replied. "Hoseok hasn't told me anything specifically but from what I've heard and now to see him, I can see that he's- different, happier I think."
"You really think so?"
"Being in the presence of people has always made him more comfortable. That's why he often stayed at my house before- well, before my coming out happened. I went to live with my boyfriend after that, my boyfriend being the one handsome guy behind the counter, but things between me and Hosoek weren't too- good."
Jeongguk nodded, his eyes focused on his fumbling hands. "I heard about that. He told me about that when I came out, how he didn't want to react badly to me."
"His reaction wasn't the best and it might have led to us not talking for a while." Jeongguk could see how dark Yoongi's mood got all of a sudden and before he could ask, he remembered something. Hoseok had told him about Yoongi's coming out, it had been about two years ago. Hoseok's suicide attempt had also happened around that time.
If that hadn't happened- if the two hadn't fallen out because of that – would Hoseok have gone to him for help?
This was not the time to think about things like this – especially when it wasn't any of his business.
"But that's what were here for, aren't we?" Yoongi said, feeling the shift in the boy's mood. "I'm here to tell you my story about coming to terms with myself and my sexuality."
Jeongguk nodded. "I-I'm curious to hear it."
The other wanted to start but smiled when Hoseok brought over Jeongguk's drink and silently left again, giving them their privacy.
Yoongi watched Hoseok join Namjoon a the counter again and started his story. "It all started for me when I found out what bisexuality was. I had found out about it through one of my friends' sister who came out as a bisexual a week prior. When hearing the story I immediately thought that I'd be cool dating both boys and girls and went with the idea that I might be bisexual."
Yoongi took a deep breath. "However, a couple months later a family member went on a rant during dinner how a colleague turned out to have a husband and how homosexuality was wrong and unnatural. The way she was so confident in her words made me shocked and I almost felt disgusted with myself after that. I thought that I had maybe been a bit dramatic to instantly presume I would be into boys and cursed myself for it."
"I tried convincing myself that i was straight for so long until I couldn't handle lying to myself anymore. This was around the time I was working together with Namjoon and I had started crushing on him. I was petrified because a part of my family is homophobic, the same part that had made me deny my true self."
"My mother, bless her, realized something was wrong since I had been talking less and locking myself in my room. We started talking and it soon turned into an interrogation. I came out to her, but I wasn't ready for it. I felt embarrassed to tell her even though it was supposed to be positive thing. I felt like I had changed right in front of her eyes."
"I didn't like people to make a big deal about my coming out but luckily big part of my family didn't. My parents were supportive and handled the news well even though I caught them looking at me differently after that but I guess for a part I had become different. I was happier and felt lighter."
"Personally, to sum it up, I was fine with being bisexual until I heard other opinions about it, specially the opinions of my family. After that I tried so hard to only focus on girls but it felt wrong, of course it felt wrong because I was forcing myself. Then slowly, but surely, especially when I started to love myself for who I was, I came to realize that it is okay to go beyond the norm."
"And when it comes to Hoseok- well, he belonged to the homophobic part of the family. While my parents were fine with my sexuality, my aunt and uncle were not. While I may not approve of Hoseok's first reaction, I do understand it. He's been raised to be against homophobia and hasn't been told that his views, and his parents' views, may be wrong."
Jeongguk nodded. He had a lot of feelings and thoughts to process after hearing the story but he had one question. "How did you two start talking again?"
Yoongi's eyes flickered with a pained emotion. "After- an accident – we realized this, me liking guys, shouldn't have come between us. I looked past my anger towards his reaction and forgave him and he finally came to terms with who I am. It also really helped that he thought Namjoon was a pretty cool dude."
"Jeongguk, you have to remember something." Yoongi continued, leaning closer, his words confident. "Sexuality isn't just a part of you, it is what you are. Blocking that part out means blocking yourself out as well, and it'll make you feel numb in the end. Ignoring it and despising it means ignoring and despising yourself as well and that's never a good thing."
Jeongguk gulped. Taehyung would have given the man an applause if he had heard Yoongi speak so passionately. "I understand." He replied timidly. "It's just, hard, you know? I don't know, where to start."
"You already did." Yoongi leant back and smiled. "You told Hoseok. And you're openly talking to me about it. Most people would already be overthinking this."
"You don't know me." Jeongguk laughed. "The second I go to sleep tonight, I will be overthinking this."
"But you have someone to think about, no?" Yoongi said. "Someone who has made you realize that you should accept this part of yourself?"
"I do." The boy sighed. "But I don't think he realizes that it might take a while for me to accept myself. He didn't particulary want me to leave."
"I can understand that but if you felt you had to do this, to go on your own and learn to love yourself, then you're not making a mistake Jeongguk. And if he really does love you, he'll understand." Yoongi's words were supposed to be comforting but Jeongguk could only feel the nerves coursing through his body when he thought of Taehyung. "He'll also see how you changed."
"That's true." Namjoon appeared next to the table. "After Yoongi came out to his parents he ran to my house. He seemed, lighter, somehow. As if the world had been holding him down before, crushing him underneath its weight, but then, the weight was lifted. He was brighter."
"Your boyfriend will see that as well." Yoongi concluded. "You'll be easier to love, he'll notice that as well."
"Once a person loves themselves, it's easier to love them as well." Namjoon chuckled warmly. "They don't try pushing you and that part of themself away."
Yoongi nudged his boyfriend. "Tell him your coming out story, babe."
"I don't think it will help him." Namjoon chuckled.
Hoseok pouted next to him. "But it's a cute story."
"Well, when you have two gay aunts that raise you half of the time, coming out isn't that hard." Was the only thing Namjoon said before leaning down to plant a kiss on Yoongi's head. "I got work to do. These cakes are on the house."
He slid over two plates.
"I didn't get you anything." He turned to Hoseok. "You already stole three brownies when you thought I wasn't looking."
Hoseok whined at the older's words and followed after him when he went back to the counter.
"See what I mean? He's happier." Yoongi said, pointing his fork towards Hoseok. "And that's all on you."
Thank you for reading! Also who's excited to meet Taehyung again next chapter? I know I am 🥰