*A/N: This one is way longer than I expected, I was going to separate it out but I then just put it all together, if you think it is too long let me know and I can always switch it. Thank you everyone for reading this! It honestly makes me so happy to see that actual humans are enjoying this fanfic*
"You got it yet?" Dean asks impatiently looking over at Sam's laptop.
"Yep. Here we go" Sam replies as a screen comes up with footage of a boardroom where Dick seems to be having a conference.
"Thank you, Charlie, wherever you are."
"Who's Charlie?" you ask while looking over Sam's shoulder. He smiles and turns to you.
"She helped us originally get information from Roman industries. She is the best programmer I have ever seen! You would love her. She is a total nerd like you" he says with a chuckle.
"So what are we looking at?" Dean says cutting straight to business.
"Uhh..." Sam says typing on the laptop. "Looks like the 2nd floor but uh... what?"
You look at his screen as he pulls up camera footage of yet ANOTHER Dick Roman sitting alone in his office.
"What the hell?" Dean exclaims. "Is that Dick?"
Soon enough Sam had several camera feeds all showing Dick Roman at different locations.
"And that's Dick," Sam says confused and defeated.
"Son of a Bitch" Dean says in a huff.
"Looks like all we have is a lot of Dick pic's. That's useful" you say with an eye roll. Sam turns to you with a bitch face as Dean chuckles a little, making your heart swell.
"This must be why Crowley was so insistent that Cas comes. Maybe he would be able to tell who is the real Dick" you say and the boys turn back to the screen.
"There's got to be a way for us to figure this out. Cycle through again" Dean says.
You notice a pick-up pull in across the street and tap Sam's shoulder. He notices and picks up his binoculars to look at what is going on.
"That's the maid from the motel," Sam says with a shocked expression.
"What motel?" You ask confused.
"Oh, no. Oh, Bobby, what are you doing?" Sam says. You could hear the worry in his voice.
"Wait. Are you saying that Bobby –" Dean starts but Sam already had gotten out of the car.
"Son of a bitch!" Dean exclaims again while watching Sam run across the street towards where the maid entered the premises.
"So Bobby... possessed someone?" you say a little in disbelief. You felt like your voice was going to tremble from the build-up of emotions.
"Seems like it," Dean says gruffly.
You couldn't believe what you were hearing. If Bobby had gone to this extent... he was out of control.
"You know we didn't stop looking for you," Dean says bringing you out of your thoughts.
"Wh-what?" you ask as your voice weavers from the emotions you were trying to surpess.
Dean turns around and you stare into his piercing green eyes that took the air from your lungs.
"We didn't stop looking for you once you left," he says again. His lips stayed slightly apart as he looked at you in the eyes. You felt your guilt grow as you saw the subtle hints of anger in his expression. His slightly furrowed brow, his stiff demeanor, but the biggest emotion you saw was pain. The crinkles by his eyes showed his exhaustion, and his emrald eyes were filled with dark pools of guilt.
"Dean, I-" you start as you feel your chest ache with shame.
"Forget it," he says turning back around. He didn't seem angry or even upset, just tired which made your insides curl with more regret.
You watched Dean as he scanned for any sign of Sam. You saw the stubble that was starting to grow and the sadness he had been trying to hide behind a stoic expression. He always tried to distance his emotions. To bottle them deep inside so he could appear tough, but this time it hurt to watch him do this to himself because he was also keeping his emotions from you. He had never done that before. Looking back, you could always read him like an open book and you always wondered if that was because you knew him so well or if it was because he opened himself up to you, and at this moment you knew it was the first option since he was doing his best to keep you out. It crushed you that he wanted you so far away from him in this way, but your thoughts got interrupted by Dean hopping out of the car to get the door for Sam so he could put the maid in the backseat with you.
***
The rest of last night was spent in your own mental world. You felt guilty for leaving Dean. You felt guilty for not being there when he needed you. You felt guilty for not being there to help with Sam, or be there when Bobby was in trouble, or just after Dean decided to erase Lisa and Ben's memories. Yes, you knew about that. You knew about it a couple of months ago as Crowley was filling you in on the details about the boys. You were confused about what that had meant if Dean decided to do such a crazy thing, but you knew it was because of only one answer. He was expecting you to be there for him. He was choosing you... and you left.
You tried to ignore this fact for as long as you could because it made you feel sick that it was actually you that left them rather than him leaving you, and it hurt. So you pushed your feelings aside, dug deeper into your 'work', and avoided meeting with the boys again because you knew the guilt would eat you alive, just as it was doing now.
Sam slept upstairs in the bedroom as Dean opted to stay on the couch. He offered you it but you told him that you would prefer the chair and though he hesitated to comply with your statement, he shrugged it off and quickly passed out on the couch.
You watched him sleep for the majority of the night. He always looked so peaceful as he slept. His muscles would relax and the weight would be lifted off his shoulders. A weight that seemed heavier since you had left. You didn't end up sleeping at all. By the time you even considered getting some shut-eye you heard Sam coming down the stairs.
"Morning y/n, sleep well?" he said while stretching.
"Yeah. Well enough," you lied. Your eyes remained on Dean's peaceful face.
"Y/n... it isn't too late you know" he said calmly. It brought tears to your eyes at the thought of him taking you back, but you knew it wasn't possible.
"No Sam. It is too late." you said looking up. You willed your tears back and glanced down at the flask in your hands that you had been gripping all night. You thought you could feel Bobby's presents through it, and you just wondered if he was really around or if you were just imagining things.
"Morning" Dean says rolling over to get off of the couch.
You smile slightly watching him stretch as Sam brings over a coffee.
"The maid Bobby possessed is fine by the way. And Meg should be here soon" Sam says handing the coffee to Dean.
"Great" he grumbles and you couldn't help the chuckle from rising from your chest. He has never been a morning person.
There was a knock at the door just as Sam sat down in a chair next to you.
"I got it," you say while standing up. You hand the flask to Dean and open the door to see Meg and Cas. You quickly step to the side letting them enter.
"Wow. No degrading remarks y/n? Not even an eye roll?" Meg says with a smirk. You just wanted to break her nose, but instead, you clenched your jaw and gave her a tight lipped smile.
"So-" Meg continues, turning her attention to the boys. "Tell me again why you turned tail for some maid. You were right there."
"Shut up, Meg" Dean huffs taking a sip from his coffee. You couldn't help the genuine smile from spreading on your lips.
"Because Dick made more Dicks." Sam says. You watch as Cas automatically walks towards the kitchen while avoiding eye contact and you knew that he was going to try to avoid this conversation. "He must've kept a chunk of the original Dick Roman somewhere. Uh, they'd all have to touch it." Sam continued.
Cas looked at the dirty dishes in the sink and picked one up to start cleaning, but you walked over to him and took the plate from his hands.
"Do we need a cat? Doesn't this place feel one species short?" Cas says suddenly as you look him in the eyes. He shifted slightly in his place, feeling uncomfortable from your gaze and you could tell he really did not want to do what you had to ask from him. You set down the plate and then put your hand on his shoulder looking into his blue eyes.
"Cas-" you started, and you watched as his eyes roamed over your own.
"I can't help. You understand? I can't. I destroyed... everything, and I will destroy everything again. Can we please just leave it at that?" he says defensively while pulling away from you. You instantly felt bad, but you knew he was the only way.
"No, we can't" Dean says grufly and you couldn't help yourself from glaring slightly at him. You knew the only way to get the job done was with Cas, but you understood more than anyone what it was like to ruin things. To destroy things. To lose control.
"Dean..." you say softly, trying to reason with him.
"No. We can't leave it. You let these friggin' things in. You don't get a damned cat. Nobody cares that you're broken, Cas. Clean up your mess!" Dean yells and you were about to walk over to him and sit him down for a talk, but Cas actually walked over to Dean first.
"You know... we should play Twister," he says with a small smile as Dean looks confused, but then suddenly Castiel dispeared.
"Nice. You scared off the Empire's only hope." Meg says sarcastically. You wanted to just shut her up but knew that the boys wouldn't really appreciate your methods of doing so.
"Meaning?" Dean said with a glare. You walked forward, catching his attention.
"Dean, every one of those things was in Cas. He knows them. He can see past the meat suits." you sate and you watch as the wheels start spinning in his head.
"So, he'll be able to spot the real fake Dick Roman," Sam says and you nod at him with a small smile.
"Gold star, sugarpants. Too bad he's Fruit Loops. You might've had a chance." Meg says and you knew that you were going to snap if she didn't shut up, but suddenly a noise caught your attention as you see everyone else also turning to see what was going on.
Cas back but... playing twister?
***
You had spent the rest of the day catching up with Cas. You two had never really been close, but seeing him in this state made you feel bad. You should have been there for him, for Sam, for Dean... instead Meg was there and that made you angry, but she was better than nothing.
You felt like you could relate to Cas in a way. No, you didn't become a God, or even really close to one unless you count the Queen of Hell in such high regards, but Cas was worried about how his good intentions always seemed to go wrong, and that was definitely something you could relate to.
Currently Cas went upstairs to grab another board game for you two to play. You knew you should be helping Sam and Dean, but you also knew that there would be no way for you to identify Dick so figured it was pointless.
Dean let out frustrated sigh making you turn around to look at him laying over the couch still staring at the screen.
"There's no difference between them! They all downloaded Dick's brain. They've all got the same tells." Dean finally admits.
"All right, then maybe the question is, what would the real Dick be doing?" Sam says and before any of you could chime in your thoughts on the subject there was another voice in the room.
"Is that the best you can do?"
Bobby.
Your eyes went wide as you saw him standing in the middle of the living room and your heart filled with joy but it was quickly replaced by guilt.
"Bobby. We didn't know if you'd, uh –" Sam starts but Bobby quickly cut him off.
"Well, you should've. You got the flask. Dumb. You should've burned it right off." He huffs while crossing his arms. He looks around the room for the first time and sees you.
"...Y/n?" he says cautiously and you watch as Sam and Dean both turn to you as well. Your mouth went dry and you felt like you were unable to speak but somehow your voice got through anyway.
"Bobby," you say horsely.
"I- we tried... you..."
"I know Bobby," you said again with a tremble in your lips. He looked both sad and happy, which you felt in your own self. You felt compelled to get up and hug him but felt weak from the emotions drowning you.
"It's good to see you kid" He says with a smile. You could see the tears glistening in his eyes and could see the pride he had for you still, even after all you had done. After everything he has seen you do... he still loved you for you. And that was enough to give you hope. Hope that you could change.
You couldn't hold back the tears anymore and let them silently roll down your cheeks as you stared at his face. You knew what was going to happen, especially if he had possessed someone, and you wanted to remember every detail.
"Bobby –" Dean cuts in.
"I'm still jonesing to go back... grab some poor bastard, kamikaze 'em going after Dick. It's bad." Bobby says suddenly turning back to Sam and Dean. "Let's be real. I damn near killed Sam. And that woman."
"It wasn't your fault, Bobby – not really," Sam says in defence, but you knew it was a pointless fight. It didn't matter if it was really Bobby or not, he still would hurt people.
"Right. That's just what ghosts turn into. I really bet the farm I could outsmart that." Bobby replied sarcastically.
"So, what's it feel like?" Dean said suddenly, and it had you curious as well.
"What? Going vengeful? It's an itch you can't scratch out." Bobby said so casually. And with that phrase... your heart stopped. Do you know those moments where a bigger picture comes together? When everything suddenly clicks? That's what you felt like was happening. Your dark side. It was like an itch that you can't scratch out, and you knew you would hurt people, and you knew there was nothing anyone could do to stop it...
"Look... I'm done. Go get Dick. But don't do it 'cause you think it'll scratch the itch. Do it 'cause it's the job." Bobby says, completing his initial thought.
You looked down at the ground, knowing it was true and hating every word of it.
***
You watched as Dean tossed the flask into the coals as Bobby suddenly burst into a burning flame. You tried to keep yourself together. You knew this was inevitable and you had your time to talk to Bobby privately. He told you he loved you and reminded you that you were a badass that could overcome anything which made you smile. He wasn't one for heart-to-heart moments and you knew this was the most you would ever truly get from him which made it that much more genuine.
***
Dean left with Cas to go run an errand of some form, which you knew was probably just to get some time alone so he could talk some sense into the angel, but you were grateful for the time in the cabin to be at ease. You hadn't felt this many emotions for the past year and suddenly having all of them at the surface felt like a weight on your chest that was growing heavier and heavier.
"You alright?" Sam suddenly asked. You almost completely forgot he was in the cabin with you. You jumped a little but then sat up more onto the couch.
"Yeah, fine"
"No. You aren't" Sam say's sitting down next to you and handing you a beer. "Bobby was like your father and you lost him today... I know what that feels like." Sam says looking down at the ground. You took a sip of your beer and nodded slowly.
"Sam?" you felt yourself ask, without really knowing what you were asking.
He turned to you with his big eyes, giving you his full attention.
"What are we going to do when this is all over?" you ask. You felt like everything was a mess. That everything was your fault for not being there, and you just wanted to know what you should be expecting after all this is over.
"I guess continue hunting. Sure we saved the world from one evil, but knowing us something else is going to step up to the plate," he says with a small chuckle.
You nod and take another sip of the beer Sam gave you.
"Y/n... Dean... he wants you around. He isn't going to just let you go again. He might be a pain in the ass, but he is also stubborn and he cares about you. You are family y/n."
You didn't know what to say to Sam. You had so many feelings of doubt and pain, but ultimately you felt guilty. Guilty that you had dragged them into your life and that now they felt obligated to stick with you till the end.. an ending you could never picture ending well.
Suddenly Dean walked in with Cas right behind him, and the small smile that played on his lips made your worries lessen as you watched him stride into the room.
"We have a plan"
***
The plan was simple enough. Dean and Cas find Dick and ice his ass, Sam and you find Kevin, and Meg offered to be a distraction which surprised you, and soon enough you found yourself watching down hallways for any signs of Leviathan as Sam unlocked Room 427 where Kevin was being held.
"Got it" Sam said in a whisper as he opened the door. You walk into see a kid (practically) tied up and gagged to a chair. Honestly, you thought Kevin would be older based upon what you had heard but whatever.
"Kevin. Hey, buddy. We got to hustle, okay?" Sam says ungagging him as you watch the door.
"Wait. We can't leave yet." Kevin says with panic in his voice.
"Uh, yea, we can. We got to go" Sam says with a little bit of sass that honestly made you chuckle.
"Who's the chick?" Kevin suddenly says turning to you, and you just smirk at him.
"That doesn't matter right now" Sam says cutting the last rope off of him.
"You don't understand. Dick's got creamer in his lab. He's gonna kill all the skinny people." Kevin says frantically.
"Wait. What?" you say turning away from the door.
"We have to blow up the lab, Please." he says practically begging.
Sam turns to look at you, waiting for you to make the judgment call.
"I'll take care of it"
You teleported your way to the basement, where you saw in the floor plans the Labs were located.
You open the lab door to see Cas move toward who you assume to be the real Dick Roman, but he quickly grabs Casteil and flings him into the wall. You see that Dean is on the floor as Dick straightens his tie and turns towards you.
"Sparta! Your looking ravishing. Glad we could finally meet, sadly it is under some rather pressing circumstances." He says with his cocky smile. You just glare at him. "Come on now Sparta, you wouldn't be working with these fools unless you knew something that I didn't but we all know that Crowley wouldn't break his deal."
"Or would he" you say with a smirk, trying to buy Dean sometime to get oriented. He was starting to get up behind Dick and you knew you had to keep his attention.
Dick just laughed at your remark and then pointed at you with a big grin on his face. "I have told my friends so much about you y/n! Friends you don't even realize exist"
"W-what do you mean?" You didn't want it to come out with a stutter but you were caught completely off guard by that remark.
"You have so much to learn my dear," Dick says with a satisfied smirk, right as Dean turns him around with a hefty pull.
"She's not your's you dick" Dean mutters as he plunges the bone through Dick's chest.
Dick starts screaming in agony as you see Sam and Kevin come in from the doorway. You turn your attention back to see Dick open his enormous Leviathan mouth as his tongue flicks to the chaotic rhythm of his roar. Suddenly, a pulse of energy surges from Dicks body. and you turn around to shield yourself from it as he explodes, but as you open your eyes to see the black goo covering the room, you notice that not only is Dick gone, but Dean and Cas are gone as well.
"What the hell?" you say with wide eyes.
"More chompers could come at any second" Kevin says from somewhere behind you.
You turn to look at Sam who had the same expression you did. You felt... lost.
"Not to worry" an all too familiar scottish accent pipes in. "I have a small army of demons outside. Cut off the head, and the body will flounder, after all. Think if you'd had just one king since before the first sunrise. You'd be in a kerfuffle, too."
"Which is exactly what you wanted." Sam says in a gruff tone while turning to face Crowley.
"So did you." Crowley says back. "Without a master plan, the Levis are just another monster. Hard to stomp, sure, but you love a challenge. Your job is to keep them from organizing."
"Where's Dean?" He then asks. You felt your breath hitch in your throat, anticipating the worst, but holding on with every heartbeat to hear the best.
"That bone... has a bit of a kick. God weapons often do. They should put a warning on the box." Crowley says causally and you lost it. You walk up to Crowley and pin him against the door.
"Where are they, Crowley?!" You say as anger floods your system, but suddenly with the snap of his fingers, you found yourself in the throne room of hell. You felt your emotions surge through you. Anger, rage, indignation, but mostly... sorrow. You felt like your world had just been torn apart right then and there and you were ready to take it out on Crowley once and for all. You attempted to teleport but you felt the color drain from your face as you realized you no longer had the capability. Crowley must have released you from your contract, which meant... he no longer needed you.