After a long day of completing five sessions, Eun Hye was ready to relax for the rest of her evening. Sometimes her session could be long and mentally draining, but she was always able to pull through. It was 7 o'clock and she figured she had enough time to do one last thing before the evening ended. Eun Hye grabbed her jacket and handbag, then swiftly exited her office and out of the building.
The doctor's office location was in the heart of downtown Seoul. Everything was within walking distance, but the streets could be crowded with city-goers and tourists. Unlike many people that were aimlessly walking, Eun Hye knew where she needed to go, and wasted no time to get there. She dodged herself through the thick crowds, focusing on her main errand.
Just two blocks down from her office, there was a nice, small bakery that sold many baked goods. As Eun Hye stepped into this well-lit establishment, the store clerks and the manager greeted her. She was a regular customer of theirs and they were always happy to see her come in. She had a positive smile on her face and then immediately stood in front of the glass display. Although it was near closing time, the bakery always supplied fresh baked goods. There were so many choices, but Eun Hye was here to make a specific purchase.
"Annyeonghaseyo, Eun Hye." One of the clerks greeted her. "What brings you in tonight?"
"Annyeong!" She cheerful greeted back. "I'm looking for a cake."
"Any particular kind?"
Eun Hye lightly smiled. "Not really. Just something small."
The clerk looked above the glass display and pointed out a small, light brown butter-creamed cake. "How about this one?"
She carefully looked at it. "What flavor is it?"
"Mocha. It's our bakery's specialty. I think you're going to like it very much."
"Alright, I'll take it."
Eun Hye also decided to pick up some macaroons, since they were her favorite baked goods. She paid for her entire purchase and walked out of the bakery. She carefully carried the cake in a bag with one hand as she hailed a taxi.
"Driver, please take me to Yonhi-dong district.
Eun Hye looked at the cake through the plastic viewing area, thinking that her date would love it.
There was so much traffic going out of the city, especially on a Friday night. It usually would take 30 minutes to get to her destination, but it was taking much longer. Eun Hye looked at her watch a couple of times, realizing it was almost 8:30. She hoped that wasn't going to be late. As she sat in this heavy traffic, she looked out the window and pondered of the last time she had been back. With her busy working schedule, Eun Hye felt guilty of not putting aside more time for these moments. But since today was a special day, she wasn't going to miss it.
Traffic finally started moving right when they drove outside of the city limits. Eun Hye checked the time and striked at 8:45. Surprisingly, she was still making good time. The taxi driver drove down the highway at quick speeds, then exited off to enter into Yonhi-dong district. It was a nice, surburban area with large, beautiful houses that were much more affordable than other nearby districts. It was convenient for many individuals to live here and take public transportation into the city. Many familes, both young and old, loved to live here. It had great schools and there were many businesses and stores available to fit everyone's needs. That was why Eun Hye liked it here. She could escape from the hectic city life and wind down in a picturesque surburbia like Yonhi-dong. But it was more than a nice district to her.
It was home.
The taxi finally pulled up in a cul-de-sac. Eun Hye quickly paid the driver and stepped out of the vehicle to recognize the familiar neighborhood. With the cake in one hand, she carefully walked down the graveled driveaway in her heels and headed to the front of the house. It was 9 o'clock and there were a few lights on inside. Eun Hye took a deep breath and rang the doorbell. After a moment or two, she could hear footsteps creaking inside the house, then the front door slowly opened.
"Eun Hye-ah?"
"Umma!"
Without a second to spare, her mother instantly gave her daughter a warm hug. There were bright, joyful smiles on both women as they rejoiced their long-awaited reunion.
"My sweet daughter. How have you been? And what a surprise! What brings you back here?" The mother cheerfully asked.
"Umma.. come on!" Eun Hye smiled as she playfully pouted. "I wanted to celebrate your birthday. I even brought you cake!"
The daughter raised up the bag to eye level with a cheerful smile on her face.
"Oh now.." The mother replied with a somewhat depressed tone. "You know I don't celebrate my birthday anymore."
"Umma.." Eun Hye looked straight into her mother's eyes. "You haven't celebrated your birthday for the past seven years. Even if you don't want to celebrate, there's cake for dessert and I know I smell something delicious in the kitchen!"
A light, loving smile appeared on the mother's face. "Ah.. well then you must be hungry! Come on in."
Both women stepped inside the house and her mother immediately took the cake out of her daughter's hands. She brought it into the kitchen as Eun Hye took off her shoes. Although it had been a year since she moved out of the house and into the city, it was still the same. The furniture, the layout, ane even the smell were the same. Pictures hung on the foyer wall hadn't changed either. Eun Hye took a looks at those pictures, and surely, it brought back memories.
She looked closely at those three pictures. The biggest, main frame was a posed family picture of her, her mother, and her younger brother. That family picture was years old, and if Eun Hye remembered correctly, it was taken six months before the kidnapping. She bite down her lower lip hard, trying to surpress the tears that were beginning to form in her eyes. She had to divert away from that painful memory, so Eun Hye turned her attention to another picture.
It was a picture of her and Tae Jun at the beach when they were kids. She smiled and started to giggle a bit at how her younger brother was eating sand, while she was diligently building a sand castle. Those were the best times, when they were carefree and only cared about having fun. There was another picture of the two siblings in their school uniforms, posing before heading to the first day of spring semester 2009. Eun Hye remebered that she always escorted Tae Jun to his school before going to her own. It was tedious back then, but as she looked back to the past, she wished that she had appreciated the time she could spend with her younger brother.
Eun Hye naturally headed upstairs, as if she was coming home from school. The first door on the right was her old bedroom. She opened the door and turned on the light to see a somewhat empty room. Her bed, desk, and wardrobe were still present, but only a few personal items remained. Eun Hye walked in and closely looked at her old journals, reading some of her old entries.
March 25, 2008
I've always wondered about dad. I've never see him in photos, nor remember any moments of being with him. There have been countless of times that I've asked mom where is dad. Every time I've asked her, she doesn't react and she ends up changing the subject. Tae Jun has always seemed to say that he knows where dad is. Of course, he is much younger than me, so I didn't exactly believe that he knows where dad is or what he even looks like. Tae Jun kept saying that dad left mom and that he didn't love us. He seems to be quite resentful against dad, but for me, I want to meet him. Even if he's a bad person and isn't making the right choices in his life, I still want to meet him. I just want to know that somewhere out there, my dad is alive and well.
Eun Hye sighed deeply as she remembered how she felt back then. Truthfully, she still wanted to meet her dad, but after years, it seemed like the possibility was vague. She skimmed through the rest of her journal, reliving the good and bad memories of her childhood. In fact, she knew that she had changed so much. Eun Hye didn't realize how cheerful and happy she was as a child. A part of her current self actually had forgotten how to live life freely. She missed that, and hopefully one day, she would be able to return to that feeling again.
She took one last look at her bedroom, then shut off the lights and closed the door behind her. She was about to head back downstairs, but then the corner of her eye caught the last door on the left end of the hallway. Eun Hye nervously gulped down, knowing whose room that was. She wasn't sure if she could really pull herself together to come back into that room again. Her body trembled as she slowly took one step after another towards the room. When she faced the door, she became hesistant again. It had been years since she had been inside, and was worried that once she stepped inside, painful memories would come flooding back into her mind. But a part of her wanted to take the risk and recall the past. With a deep breath, Eun Hye turned the knob and opened the door.
Tae Jun's room was cold. It almost felt as if a ghostly presence was surrounding her. She turned on the light as it flickered a few times before it was steady. Everything in his room remained the same. Nothing had been moved or even touched. The bed wasn't made and his clothes were drapped over his desk chair. A picture of her and Tae Jun was still standing on the nightstand. She saw her younger brother wearing the silver vintage star necklace that she gave him for Christmas from the previous year. His small anime figures and mangas were collecting dust on his book shelf. The waste bin was still filled with crumpled papers and snack wrappers. Even his laptop was still opened on his desk, amongst some homework assignments that had never been finished.
Eun Hye placed her hand over her mouth, attempting to muffle the sobs that she suddenly was releasing. Seeing everything still in its place made her so emotional. Suddenly, she could hear her younger brother calling out her name from the hallway. She instantly turned around and saw Tae Jun at the end of the hallway, skipping happily towards her.
"Noona! There you are! Where have you been?"
Eun Hye was too shocked to even say anything. She couldn't believe what she was seeing.
"Hello? Earth to noona! What's with that expression?"
She stuttered, unable to speak. Her eyes widened with complete surprise.
"Come on, noona! I need help with my homework. Please help me!"
When Eun Hye stepped back into the room, her vision completely changed. It was now daylight, with the window opened, feeling the cool spring breeze filling the room. Everything was vibrant and full of life. The sun kissed her skin, making her feel warm than ever before. Even the delicious smell of ddeokbokki filled the room. It was as if her life had been restored to the way it was before. Eun Hye wasn't sure if she was hallucinating or dreaming, but she honestly didn't want to break away from this moment. Her younger brother was finally back in her life.
"Ugh.. I hate homework. I rather play outside, since it's such a sunny day!"
She could see Tae Jun ruffling his hands through his hair, feeling agitated over his homework. Eun Hye smiled and walked towards the desk, lowering herself to look up at him from the desk.
"Noona is here to help you, but you have to try to do it on your own. I can't be giving you the answers all the time."
"Aww... but I'm not smart like you. This will take forever for me to finish."
He pouted and crossed his arms, unwilling to start. She unconsciously patted his back, realizing that she could physically feel her younger brother. Eun Hye was shocked and utterly confused. It was like she pulled herself back in time and could sense everything around her. Tears were forming in her eyes from the first touch she could feel of Tae Jun in such a long time.
"Noona, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"
Eun Hye wasn't able to answer as he hid her face into her arm, resting on the desk. She wasn't sure if she was really hiding her tears, or the fact that this was all still too hard to believe.
"Please.. don't cry. I don't know what to do when you cry.."
She immediately got up from her position and hugged her younger brother tightly. Tears were streaming down her face and staining onto his shirt, as she sobbed heavily. Eun Hye gripping onto Tae Jun's back, not willing to let him go.
"Tae Jun-ah... I've missed you.. I've missed you so much. Don't ever leave me, okay? Don't leave or else noona will be sad.."
"What are you talking about? I'm always here with you and mom. Even if I ever go away for a while, you'll always be here with me."
Eun Hye loosened her embrace as Tae Jun pulled out the vintage star necklace out of his shirt. He raised it up for her to see, ensuring that he meant every word he had said to his older sister.
"See? You'll always be with me, close to my heart. You're the greatest noona."
More tears fell from Eun Hye's, unable to control her emotions anymore. She pulled her younger brother in for another hug, unwilling to let him go this time.
"You're the greatest namsaeng that any sister could ever ask for. I'm sorry for everything."
Tae Jun didn't say anything afterwards, but she could feel him hugging on her backside. This feeling; Eun Hye hadn't felt her younger brother's embrace in the longest time. This was the first time that she truly acknowledged their sibling love and bond, after unnecessary spats and anger between each other. She wanted to love and appreciate Tae Jun more. She wanted another chance to make things good again.
"Ah noona, I hear mom calling. I better go see what she needs. I'll be right back!"
"But Tae Jun-ah... wait!"
He released his embrace from his sister and directly walked out of the room. Eun Hye wasn't able to grasp onto her younger brother's hand before he left. She hesitantly rushed out to the hallway, but Tae Jun was no where in sight. The warm, vibrant feeling from before vanished before her eyes. It left her feeling cold and abandoned, pulling back into one of her restless nightmares again. Endless tears flowed down her cheeks as she yelled out for her younger brother through her pitiful sobbing.
"Tae Jun-ah...!! Please... Please come back to me! I can't lose you again!"
"Eun Hye! Eun Hye-ah!!"
She blinked hard and opened her eyes to see her mother crouching down towards her. Immediately, she flung herself onto her mother with tears still streaming down her face. She slowly regained her conscious as she applied calming techniques, that she learned from her medical study, to her own situation.
"Eun Hye-ah..." Her mother comforted her emotional daughter. "It's okay, sweetie. Umma is here."
"Tae Jun... Tae Jun... I-I..." She stuttered through her sobbing.
"I know, dear. I miss him, too..." A single tear fell from her mother's eye as she calmly patted her daughter.
Even though seven years had passed, it still didn't make it any easier for Eun Hye and her mother to cope with Tae Jun's disappearance. It was both pain and regret that Eun Hye struggled to move forward from her past. She figured that she would be able to follow the medical training she had used on her patients, but somehow, it was difficult to implement those practices on herself. Just like many of her patients, Eun Hye battled with her own mental issue. Sometimes, it never got easier.
Eun Hye's mother allowed her daughter to cry the rest of her sorrows out. Many people had said that crying and tears were very healthy, since they helped wash out the negative energy and toxins out of the body. So when people thought that crying was shameful and weak, it is perfectly normal. Her mother raised her daughter's face and wiped the remaining tears away. She lightly smiled as she held herself firm and strong for Eun Hye.
"Umma.." She softly spoke. "I'll find him.. I know I will."
There was a slight pause as her mother heard those words. She knew that after seven years without any leads of Tae Jun's whereabouts, the chances were slim to actually finding him. The mother knew her daughter's headstrong, determined character that worked tirelessly during the search. At first, she was worried that this would put a lot of strain and pressure for Eun Hye. There were days that her daughter couldn't sleep at night, screaming at the same, horrific nightmare. But then she realized shortly, Eun Hye was able to get back up on her feet. The mother had always believed in her, and she would still continue to believe in her at this very moment.
"I have faith in you, Eun Hye." She gently kissed her daughter on her forehead. "Well sweetie, the best thing for you right now is to get some food in you."
Eun Hye looked at her mother and lightly nodded in agreement. "Mhm you're right, umma. Besides that's what I came here for! To celebrate your birthday with you!"
The mother could hear the cheerful expression finally appearing again in her voice. "If you really want to celebrate my birthday this much, then I'll accept it."
Eun Hye instantly became excited to hear her mother's acceptance. Both women stood up from the floor and warmly hugged each other. The daughter closed the door to Tae Jun's room, and headed back downstairs with her mother. The rest of the night consisted of love, laughter, food, memories, and a much needed night for Eun Hye to be with her mother. No force or evil could ever break Eun Hye from her family.
"Tae Jun-ah? Can you hear us? Can you hear us out there? Wherever you are, I know that you're wishing umma a happy birthday."