-March 4th 1999-
At Central Perk everyone is hanging out as Rachel enters happily.
Rachel:Good you guys are all here!.
Ross:Hey!.What's up?.
Rachel:Well I have a job interview at Ralph Lauren tomorrow!.
All:Congratulations!.Oh that's great!.
Rachel:I know!.
Joey:Boy that guy's underwear sucks!.
Rachel:Wh-what?!.
Joey:I got this pair marked excess I gotta tell ya there was no room for excess anything in there.
Rachel:Anyway I'm going to be the coordinator of the woman's collection I'll work right under the director it's the perfect,perfect job for me.
Phoebe:Wow!.Well if you nail the interview you'll get it!.
Rachel:Yeah.
Phoebe:You wanna work on your interview skills?.
Rachel:O-okay!.
Phoebe:Okay!.All right let's start with the handshake.Hi.
Rachel:Hi.
They shake hands.
Phoebe:Very good handshake,good wrist action.
Monica:Let me try.
Monica gets up to join them.
Phoebe:Okay.
They shake hands and she pulls away suddenly.
Phoebe:Oh my God!.What did I ever do to you?!."Rubbing her hand".
Monica:Did I squeeze it too hard?.
Phoebe:Let's just say I'm glad I'm not Dakery.
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The next day at Monica and Rachel's Me,Chandler,Dakery and Joey are hanging out as Rachel returns from her interview and Monica is in the bathroom.
Dakery:Oh hey how'd the interview go?.
Rachel:Ugh horrible!.I did the stupidest most embarrassing thing.
Joey:Did you tell the guy you wanted to have sex with his wife and then fall right out of your chair?.
Rachel:No!.
Elizabeth:So what happened?.
Rachel:Ugh it was horrible!.And,and the interview part went so well y'know?.I even made him laugh.He said something about a boat and I was like Well yeah If you've got enough life jackets!."Laughs".Trust me it was actually it was very funny.Anyway so we were saying goodbye and ugh!.
Joey:What happened?.
Rachel:All right we were shaking hands and he kinda leaned toward me…Y'know maybe he was going to open the door but I totally miss read him and I uh…I kissed him.
Dakery:You kissed him?!.
Rachel:Well I didn't know what else to do!.
Chandler:Well you coulda tried not kissing him.
Rachel:Thanks Chandler.
Monica:"Enters".Hey Rach a guy from Ralph Lauren called you got a second interview!.
Rachel:I can't believe it!.I got a second interview!.
Monica:Yes!.
Joey:I bet that kiss isn't looking like such a big mistake now is it?.
Rachel:What,what wait a minute you don't think that's why he wants me back?.
Joey:Yeah!
Dakery makes a noise.
Joey:No?.
Monica:A kiss?.What are you talking about?.
Rachel:I accidentally kissed him in the interview and now he wants me back y'know of course cause Let's bring the girl back who kisses everybody!.
Chandler:Come on Rach.
Rachel:Oh my God!.What if he thinks I'm the kind of girl that,that would just sleep with him?.
Monica:He probably wants you back because you're right for the job.
Rachel:Maybe.I-I don't know Oh God how could I be so stupid?!.
Joey:Oh Rachel look don't say that I think you just need a hug from Joey.Come on. Come on.
Rachel hugs him and Joey looks out the window.
Joey:She's back!.Hot girl's back!.
Rachel:Oh well I'm not totally back yet but thank you.
Joey:No in Ross's building!.
Joey throws Rachel onto the chair and heads to the window.
Joey:She's back!,She's back!.Okay wait there I'll be over in a second."Counts where she is".Got it!.
Joey runs out and does a little hop over a chair.
Chandler:I gotta check out this hot girl!.
Chandler heads to the window but stops, turns and points at Me.
Chandler:There she is!.
Chandler dances over to me and gives me a kiss.
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-April 7th 1999-
At Central Perk Me,Chandler,Joey,Dakery, Monica and Phoebe are hanging out as Joey is holding a deck of cards out to Chandler.
Joey:Okay pick a card.
Chandler:Okay."Picks the 9 of Spades".
Joey:All right now memorize it...You got it?.
Chandler:Oh yes.
Joey:"Holds up the Queen of Clubs".Is that your card?."Winks,smiles".
Chandler:Yes.
Joey laughs then realizes the trick didn't work when Chandler hands him his card back as Carol is entering with Ben and Ross.
Carol:Hey guys!.
Ross:Hi!.
Elizabeth:Hi there!.
Ben:Hi!.
Carol:Guess what?.Ben is going to be in a TV commercial!.
Phoebe:What are you talking about?!.
Ross:"Sets Ben down".Well it's not for sure but um we met this guy in the park who thought Ben was really cute y'know which he is so um anyhoo he uh he gave us his card and told us to bring him down for this commercial he's auditioning.
Joey:"Reading the card".Whoa!.This guy is like the biggest commercial casting director in town!.
Ross:"Gasps".
Joey:Ben takes one lousy walk in the park and gets an audition!.
Ross and Carol stare at him then Joey realizes what he just said.
Joey:I mean way to go Ben!.
Joey gives Ben the thumbs up which Ben returns.
Joey:Man!.I've been in that park a million times and no one offered me an audition.
Ross:I know it's crazy!.We were just pushing Ben on the swings…
Joey:I'm always on the swings!.What am I doing wrong?!.
Chandler:That.
The next day at Monica and Rachel's, everyone is eating breakfast and Ross is heading for the bathroom as Rachel enters from her bedroom.
Rachel:Okay gotta go!.Wish me luck!.
Joey:Luck!.
Chandler:Hey Rach.now that you're working at Ralph Lauren can you bring me back some of those polo shirts?.
Rachel:Uh well y'know what?.I don't think if I feel comfortable stealing on my very first day…
Chandler:Unwilling to steal from work interesting.
Monica:Besides if anybody's gonna get free stuff it's gonna be me.
Rachel:Okay guys way to wish me luck!.
All:Good luck!.Go get em!.
Rachel:"Leaves".
Phoebe:Okay let's discuss Rachel's birthday. I say we throw a surprise party this weekend.
Joey:Whoa,whoa but her birthday isn't like for another month.
Elizabeth:Yeah but if we throw her a party on her birthday then it's not a surprise.
Monica:I think it's a great idea.Yeah we could have a dinner party and just invite her close friends.
Joey:Ross!.We're having a surprise party for Rachel!.
Ross:"From bathroom".Okay!.
Joey:Done.
Phoebe:Okay great so do you want to do it together?.
Monica:I would love to do it together!.
Joey starts to giggle.
Joey:They're gonna do it together.
Dakery:Dude!.That's my girlfriend!.
Joey:What so I gotta shut it down now?.
Ross:All right I gotta take off.I'm picking up Ben then we're off to the big audition.
Monica:It's gonna be weird to watch some actor pretending to be Ben's dad.
Ross:Yeah.
Chandler:Weirder than watching his two moms make out?.
Monica nods in agreement.
Joey:Whoa,whoa dad?.There's a dad in the commercial?.
Ross:Yeah the dad and Ben eat soup and pretend to enjoy it.
Joey:Whoa hey maybe I'll go down there with ya and see if I can get an audition to play the dad.I mean who better to play Ben's father than his godfather.
Ross:You're not his godfather.
Joey:What?!.Are you kidding?!.
Ross:"Lying".Of course I am!.
Joey is relieved.
Ross:Okay let's go godfather.
Joey:All right!.
As they walk out he motions to Chandler that he is still Ben's godfather.