-February 25th 1999-
At Chandler and Joey's Me and Chandler are sitting on one of the chairs doing a crossword puzzle.
Joey:Hey!.
Chandler:Hey!.
Elizabeth:Hey!
Joey:What are you guys doing up?.
Chandler:Oh we wanted to finish the crossword before we went to bed.Hey do you know a 6 letter word for red?.
Joey:"Thinks".Dark red.
Chandler:Yeah I think that's wrong but there's a Connect the Dots in here for you later."To Liz'.Hey how about maroon?.
I check to see if it works and it does.
Elizabeth:Yes it does.You are so smart.
I give Chandler a kiss.
Joey:Awe you guys are so cute.
Elizabeth:Thanks Joey."Smiles".
Joey:All right I'll see you in the morning.
Chandler,Elizabeth:Okay.
The next day at Central Perk everyone but Ross and Joey are hanging out.Gunther hands us the bill and Chandler gives some money to pay it.
Rachel:"Looking at the bill".Uh we still need a tip.
Phoebe:All right.Hold on.
Phoebe starts digging in the chair.
Phoebe:I got it.Nickel!."Donates it".How much more do we need?.
Rachel:A couple of bucks.
Phoebe:Okay dime!."Donates that".You guys should probably keep talking this could take a while."Finds something else". Oh no wait!.Look it!.Whoa!."Looks at it".Oh my God this is a police badge!.
Monica:Wow!.
Chandler:Oh that's so cool!.Why would a cop come in here though?.They don't serve donuts.
No one but me laughs at Chandler's joke and he smiles at me but looks to Phoebe.
Chandler:Y'know what actually could you discover the badge again?.I think I can come up with something better than that.
Elizabeth:Phoebe I bet somebody's missing that badge.
Phoebe:Yeah I should probably take it back.Oh but you know what?.While I'm at the police station I could check their Ten Most Wanted lists because my friend Fritzy has been like number 11 forever so this could be her year!."Crosses her fingers".
Joey:"Enters".Hey you guys.
Chandler,Elizabeth:Hey!.
Rachel:Hey Joey!.
Monica:Hey.
Joey:"To Liz".Hey.That uh that my sweatshirt?.
Elizabeth:Oh yes it is.I'm sorry I borrowed it I was cold.I hope its okay?.
Joey:Well uh it's just that uh y'know if,if you're gonna be wearing someone's sweatshirt shouldn't it be your boyfriends and I'm not him.
Elizabeth:I'm sorry I'll give it back to you.
Joey:No,no!,No!.I mean it's gonna be all smelling like Liz!.
Elizabeth:Are you saying I smell bad?.
Joey:No!,No you smell like a meadow.I'm sorry."Runs to the bathroom".
Monica:What's with him?.
Chandler:Oh y'know what?.The last time Joey went to a meadow his mother was shot by a hunter.
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At Chandler and Joey's Phoebe is telling Me and Chandler how she fought crime in her own way with the badge she found as I'm stiring some Goulash I have made.
Phoebe:So this guy was all."Mumbles".And I'm all Buffay,Homicide."Flashes badge".It was just so cool!.
Elizabeth:Phoebe you were supposed to take that back.
Phoebe:I know but I'm having so much fun doing good deeds.
Chandler:Okay but impersonating a police officer is a serious thing.You could get arrested.
Phoebe:You could get arrested right now!.
Phoebe flashes the badge and we glare at her.
Phoebe:All right yeah I gotta take it back. I'm totally drunk with power.
Phoebe heads for the door just as Joey enters.
Phoebe:"To Joey".Hey.
Joey:"To Phoebe".Hey!.
Joey see's me cooking.
Joey:Oh.
Chandler:Hi Joe.
Joey:Yeah I didn't know you guys were going to be here.
Elizabeth:Hey Joey taste this.
I hold out a spoon for him to taste the foid I made.
Joey:"Backs away".What?!.Why?!.
I put the spoon back into the pot and I cross my arms looking at Joey.
Elizabeth:What is going on with you?.
Joey:Nothing!.
Chandler:Oh come on!.You've been acting strange all day!.
Joey:All right!.There is something.I kinda had a dream but I don't want to talk about it.
Joey starts for his room.
Chandler:Whoa,whoa,whoa,whoa,whoa what,what if Martin Luther King had said that?...I kinda have a dream!.I don't want to talk about it.
Joey:Well it involved Elizabeth.
Chandler:You had a dream about a girl that I am seeing?!.Oh that is so cool!."To Liz".I can't tell you how many times I've dreamt about a girl that he was seeing."To Joey". Anyway we're talking about your dream."To Liz".I love you.'To Joey".Your dream?."Leans in to listen closely".
Joey:Don't worry there wasn't any sex in it or anything.I haven't dreamt about her like that since she met us.
Elizabeth:What was the dream about?.
Joey:Well okay.You were my girlfriend and we were doing the crossword puzzle. Y'know like you guys were doing last night. So that's it.I'm in love with Liz and I'll be moving out.
Elizabeth:Wait Joey!,Joey!.That doesn't mean that,that you're in love with me!."Laughs".
Joey:It,it doesn't?.
Elizabeth:No it doesn't.
Chandler:No it can mean anything.Like uh all of the sudden you're jealous because I've become the apartment stud.
Joey:That kinda sounds like your dream dude.
Elizabeth:Or it could mean that you saw Chandler and me together and we y'know were being close and stuff and then you just want to have that with someone too.
Joey:In the dream I did enjoy the closeness.
Elizabeth:"Nods".
Chandler:Joey look are you attracted to Elizabeth?.Right here,right now are you attracted to her?.
Joey:"Looks at Liz".Not really.
Chandler:Well there you have it.
Elizabeth:You just want a girlfriend.
Joey:No I don't think it's just about just getting a girlfriend.Y'know?.I mean yeah I can get a girlfriend.Yeah we could sit in the chair and do crosswords but y'know are we ever going to have y'know the closeness like,like you guys have?.
Chandler:Well y'know Lizzie and I were friends before we started dating.So maybe,maybe that's it?.
Joey:Friends first?.That's interesting.
Elizabeth:You become friends after?.
Joey:No never done that either.
Rachel:"Enters".Hey um do you guys have that tape measure?.
Chandler:Oh yeah it's actually in my bedroom.
Me and Chandler both remember a special moment between us.
Elizabeth:"Laughs".That's right.
We quickly head for Chandler's bedroom and once we are inside we continue giggling...Later at Monica and Rachel's Joey is entering with a pizza and finds us all but Ross hanging out.
Joey:All right!.Hey who wants pizza?!.
Chandler:Oh I do!,I do!,I do!.
Everyone but me all walk over to get a slice and Joey takes a bite of his.
Joey:Oh great!.Can you believe I found it on the second floor?.
They all throw their pieces back as there is a knock on the door.
Monica:Who is it?.
???:NYPD!.
Phoebe,Joey:Oh my God!.
Joey:Uh just a minute officer!.
Joey throws his piece back in the box runs into the living room looks for a place to hide the pizza,finds one,slides the box under the couch,sits down on the table and tries to quickly chew the food in his mouth.
???:I'm looking for Phoebe Buffay!.
Phoebe:Oh God it's him!.It's that cop!.God I can't believe it!.He found me!.
Rachel:Oh my God Phoebe are you gonna go to jail?!.
Phoebe:Well if I'm going down I'm taking you."Points at everyone".With me... Harboring a fugitive?.That's one to three years minimum.Good luck Chandler.
Phoebe opens the door to the cop.
Phoebe:Okay you can arrest me.Fine.But you'll never make it stick and you know it.
???:Yeah but I kinda don't have a choice it's my job.I mean you understand right?.
Phoebe:Yep.As long as you understand that I'm going to call my lawyer and once he puts you on the stand he'll make you look like a fool.A fool.
???:I don't like looking foolish.Y'know what?.Maybe uh I don't arrest you today. Maybe I came by and you weren't here.
Phoebe:I would love it if I weren't here.
???:Okay so since um.you're not going to jail tonight I was wondering if you would like to go to dinner with me?.
Phoebe:Me?!.
???:Yeah.Ever since you flashed my badge at me I kinda can't stop thinking about you. You're the prettiest,fake undercover whore I've ever seen.
Chandler,Joey:Nice.
Phoebe:Wow!.I didn't see that coming. You're,you're asking me out.
???:Yeah.I mean I coulda done it better but these people keep staring at me.
Phoebe:Um yeah I'd like to go out with you officer...
???:Gary.
Phoebe:Gary.
Gary:Okay so it's a date.
Phoebe:Yeah!.So-oh I gotta ask you though. How did you know where to find me?.
Gary:Well you're fingerprints were all over my badge so I just ran it through the computer and this was listed as your last known address so I just checked it out.
Phoebe:Oh impressive.
Gary:Not as impressive as you.I gotta tell you I looked at your record and you've done some pretty weird stuff.
Phoebe:Yeah we'll talk at dinner.
Gary:Okay."Starts to leave".So I'll come by in a couple hours and pick you up?.
Phoebe:All right I can't wait.
Gary:Okay.And don't worry I'm not just gonna take you out for donuts.
Chandler busts out laughing and everyone just looks at him.
Chandler:"To Liz".He has a gun!.
Elizabeth:Last I checked all Cops do.
Gary:Hey Elizabeth Monroe.
Elizabeth:Hello Officer Gary.
Gary:Just Gary.
Elizabeth:Okay.