The car ride away from home, would have been completely barren of noise were it not for the large German Shepard sitting directly next to Elizabeth, panting excitedly taking in the constant change of scenery through the passenger window. The radio remained off and the windows were rolled up as Elizabeth drove forward, feeling the apron strings of both her Aunt and Uncle being stretched and stretched until they reached the point of oblivion and finally snapped. She had only been twenty minutes into her car ride, but already it felt that there was an immeasurable distance in between them.
She would not be returning home tonight, or the next night or even the next. The next time she physically would see them would be in a year after her long awaited sabbatical. While she could feel the excitement beginning to bubble within her, it was still being bogged down by the sadness of leaving her family for such a long time, mixed in with guilt knowing they both would be worried and lonely in her absence.
She knew these mixed emotions would only be momentary, that once she was finally on a route which had not been ingrained in her brain through frequent use and the need for her phones GPS took place, she would finally be able to enjoy her new adventure. However, there was one more stop she needed to make and one more person she needed to see before she could finally depart from this deeply wooded part of Pennsylvania and declare herself a traveler. Exploring areas not yet explored and seeing sites which had yet to be seen.
The clicking sound of her turn signal snapped her out of her autopilot, the black explorer pulling into the pumps of a large gas station fit with a convenience store. This was it. This was her last stop before she hit the open roads.
Reaching over to the passenger side floor she rifled through the purse nestled tightly beside the cooler her aunt had lovingly packed for her. She pulled out her blue wallet which contained just about every form of personal identification she could need for this long journey.
Giving Shelby a pat on the head and muttering a few words citing she would be back shortly, she turned to open the door and immediately shrieked clutching her chest as her very breath escaped her body.
Alex had just appeared out of nowhere, crouching down and peering into her window with a grin, no doubt capitalizing of the clear distraction her purse provided. Obviously, amused by her reaction.
His grin was returned with a glare as she grabbed the handle of the door and pushed the door open into him without remorse. "How do you do that?!"
"Do what?" He said catching the door with a huff as he stopped it in enough time from hitting into his upper body. He chuckled a little more, stepping back and allowing the door to open so she could make her way out.
"Just pop up like some kind of night stalker!" She said in frustration, adjusting her yellow cardigan quickly with wallet still in hand, smoothing it out against her upper body and then reaching for her hair and picking at it for good measure before she was to begin her walk into the convenience store, attempting to clean up her appearance before she was among strangers within.
"Don't you think that's a little harsh? Pretty sure the night stalker was a serial killer.." he said thoughtfully, as he straitened to his full height, measuring just a little shy of her Uncle at around 6'4". his thumb and fore finger encasing his square jaw.
"Well, your skill for sneaking up on people is rather alarming and I quite think you enjoy it." She said huffily, closing the car door and beginning to take steps towards the store.
Before she could make any real distance, his arm stretched out forming a barricade as his hand firmly planted on the front end of the SUV. "I thoroughly enjoy getting a rise out of you, that's for sure." he said with a wink, taking in her features with his eyes quickly sneaking a fleeting not so subtle glance up and down her body. "You look beautiful, you don't need to fuss with yourself." he said after the fact, noting the attempt to smooth out her appearance.
"I wasn't fussing." She said timidly a pink color depositing on her cheeks, clearly unable to ignore his compliment.
She took a lean against the vehicle since she was currently being barred from passing by his solid iron like arm drawn across. "Are you going to let me through? I need to get some stuff before I head out." her arms crossing and one hand lazily gesturing towards the store.
"Stuff like..." he said quickly delving into his black cargo pants, and the many pockets within to begin producing an assortment of random items. "This?"
A smile erupted on her face as she looked at his hands full of all the things she was planning to grab: two energy drinks, a bag of spicy nacho doritos, orbits sweet mint gum, a large diet coke and several bags of candy some chocolate and some fruity, all being held with a light strain in his two large hands.
With a laugh she slapped his chest playfully and began to collect the items, "How do you know me so well?"
"How many times have we done late night drives to this place?" he grinned, obviously proud of his memory recall, flicking his head back to persuade his light brown hair to discontinue the ever so persistent obstruction of his vision. "The only thing I wasn't clear on was the candy, so I just got some of everything in case you were in the mood for something specific."
"No, this is perfect. Thank you." She said sheepishly opening the car door and throwing it all in her purse save for an energy drink which she deposited into the cup holder.
"Consider it as a parting gift." he said back, a warm smile still plastered on his face as he walked over to the pump pulling out his wallet and sliding a card into the reader.
"What are you doing? I can pay for my own gas, you know!" she said in frustration, following at his heels while he blatantly ignored her, opening the gas lid and removing the pump handle so he could begin to fill her tank.
"So you still want to go?" he said looking down at the handle as it was engaged with the tank, his eyes fluttering over to her briefly before returning them to device.
"Yes, I still want to go." she responded with a sigh, feeling like she's already had this same conversation a million of times.
"I'm going to miss you, you know." he muttered,his normally carefree and charismatic voice sounding a little deflated.
She felt a small pang, tugging at her heartstrings as he said those words. She had thought about this journey for as long as she could remember. Working as early as child labor laws would allow to squirrel and ferret away all her money into savings to go towards this precise moment. Sticking so incredibly close to her studies, not allowing herself anything lower than an A in all her courses stretching from grade school throughout college. She needed to be extremely rigid and strict with herself, a trait undoubtedly picked up from her Uncle, in order to get to this point.
In order for her to gain any semblance of freedom, she had to remain tightly bound to the firm guidelines she had placed upon herself. Had she faltered or shown any spot of weakness, it would have been highlighted as all the ammunition needed for her Uncle to argue that this was something beyond what she was capable of doing. So she went above and beyond to show she was a responsible young woman, and because of that, no argument could be made against her ability to set out on her own.
Of course, there were some minor slips here and there, and Alex was one of those slips. As much as she tried to be direct with him about her need for exploration and the commitment it took in order to obtain it, she still found her way coming back to him, time and time again.. Letting him up and then letting him down, something she felt incredible guilt for.
Guilt for enjoying his embraces and soft kisses, and how they seemed to give her the ever so slight tingling sensation throughout her entire body. Guilt for enjoying the way he laughed at the stupidest of jokes and the way he always seemed to know what she was thinking before she even thought it. Guilt for pushing him away and avoiding him, for forcing a distance in between them habitually so she could be selfish with her time. And a guilt for also doing everything on her own terms and not being able to recognize his needs.
But for some indescribable reason, he was always there waiting for her. Since their first year of college, he was always available to her upon request and also would slink away upon request, awaiting her next call to return.
She stood there for a minute, taking in his features, the way the sunlight wrapped around him from behind giving detail to his tanned skin and his thick lean build. She was most definitely going to miss him, and with that sudden realization she was once again feeling an upset brew within her, simmering down the excitement that was trying to spill out.
"I'm going to miss you too.." she breathed out, barely a whisper as she went into her own head space, something she frequently did, an attribute very familiar to him. Being knocked out of it quickly by his next utterance.
"I was thinking, you know..." he said, his hand rubbing at the back of his neck, his face which was normally bold and friendly now turning into an uncertain and slightly awkward manner. "This might just be what you need... you have worked for it for so long and you deserve it.. and maybe when you come back, you'll come back ready."
"Ready?" she replied quizzically, not really entirely computing where he was going with that statement.
"Ready for me...ready for us. You can go out there and do what you need to do, and I think you'll feel better and once you nip whatever it is that you need to nip, I think you'll be ready to let go." he said, his voice becoming more solid as he went on, the click of the pump handle pulling his steady gaze away from her as he shook the handle and returned it to the holder.
A warmth spread across her face, changing her usually pale freckled spotted cheeks into the color of a tomato. The warmth radiated throughout her entire body and she suddenly felt feverish at the boldness of his words. Throughout their entire relationship, Alex had always been direct and earnest regarding the way he felt about her. She herself struggled to replicate the strength behind his words, never clearly being able to translate her feelings into anything so straightforward. It was not for lack of desire, but due to the nagging fear that in her doing so, could potentially lead into her getting hurt and that thought alone scared her enough to make her a bumbling awkward mess who hoarded her emotions. Making her someone who avidly refused to place herself in a position where failure was a possibility.
"Why are you always so good to me?" her voice was still low, unable to return the depth of the intrepid emotion behind the words he uttered, showing volumes of strength despite their fleeting momentary bout of uncertainty.
His deep blue eyes, seemed to be swirling as he watched her, his orbs reminiscent of a crystal lake with waves rippling gently at the beckoning guidance of the wind and refracting the shine of the sun on a hot summer day. Staring intently, trying to absorb every bit of her features.
"Well... you're my girl." He said, with a composed shrug and cocking his head to the side, producing the effect of a cute head tilt, much like the one she was so used to Shelby giving her whenever she was curious or expecting. The intensity of his previous stare came crashing down, and she was met with just plain blue eyes.
"I think you might be right..." Elizabeth said, closing the distance in between them and wrapping her arms around his midsection, feeling the light tingles she had grown accustomed to, spread throughout her body with the contact. Her nose getting a whiff of his usual smell which could be described as of freshly turned soil after the rain combined with the slightest trace of burning firewood. At 5'5", she was almost a full foot shorter than him, which made her face fall perfectly within the base of his chest. Her ear placed gently against his left breast where she heard his heartbeat thud strong and fast. "I think when this is all done, I think I'll finally be able to be the girl you deserve. We can give it another go..."
"Oh Liz, you already are perfect." he sighed, wrapping his arms around her and looking down at her delicate frame, the tingling sensation slightly intensifying only momentarily before reducing down to their usual low simmer. A hand gently reaching up to caress the back of her head filling her body with warmth and calming her unease within.
He suddenly cleared his throat and stood up a bit taller from his slightly slouched posture. "Alright, enough of this. Its too sappy, and I don't do chick flicks." he joked, cutting the solemnity from the moment in half, in an attempt to lighten the mood. "I want you to remember that I filled your gas tank, so I expect you to..." his head swiveled around to look at the reading on the pump "to use thirty six dollars and eighty two cents exclusively to bring your butt back here at the end of the year." his gaze returning to look down at her with one of his unbearably charming smiles, and for the briefest moment the swirls of lake water once again showing movement within his irises.
With a quick laugh, she blinked rapidly, not daring to show that she was once again on the verge of tears at this final goodbye. She had no idea how much Alex had actually meant to her until she was saying goodbye to him. It was a very unnerving feeling to realize just how little of a grasp she actually had her own feelings. "Thirty six dollars and eighty two cents is pretty specific. What if I go over that amount in gas coming back?"
"Submit an expense report to me." he said, finally releasing her with a wave of his hand in the air nonchalantly. "Time to go beautiful." he said, quickly opening the door so she could clamber on in.
After she adjusted herself in the seat and put on her seat belt, the rumble of the car began with the switch of the key in the ignition. She rolled down the window, sitting there for a minute as he hung around the outside of her door getting a final look at her before she would inevitably disappear.
"You take care of yourself boy." she said with a soft smile.
"No, you take care of yourself. I have shit to do and hell to raise." he said back with a grin, shifting his eyes towards Shelby and giving her a little wave which was acknowledged by a knowing friendly bark.
"Alright, well, I guess I'll see you next year." She said, sighing in content with their little goodbye. Reminding herself that it was only temporary.
"Oh wait! I almost forgot!" he said abruptly, reaching into his pockets searching around frantically, panic clearly wrapped on his face.
"What? What did you forget?" she looked at him confused as he dug around his pockets, his broad shoulders stretching his black shirt as he moved around.
"This." he said, moving his arms from his pockets quickly and diving his upper body into the car through the window so they could wrap around her, his left hand holding onto her cheek while his lips came crashing onto hers in a firm passionate kiss which made her melt back into the seat as if she was butter in a hot pan, welcoming it.
Electricity shot uncontrollably through her limbs and warmth erupted from her core to spread evenly throughout her body, and then it all vanished as rapidly as it came on as soon as his lips parted from hers, pulling away just enough so that his small grin was visible for her eyes to see, "Now, you'll definitely come back to me." and with that he was once again outside the car, giving the roof a couple of pats before walking away without another word. Walking towards the back parking lot where his own vehicle was parked, his head not once turning back to the black explorer.
The pure shock of the situation hit her like an ice bath, as she watched him disappear behind the building. Having to force herself to remember how to breathe. Sitting in a stupor for an undisclosed amount of time and then crashing back down to reality while sitting in the drive of a much needed fuel station. The onslaught of abrupt horn honking behind her, kicking her rapidly into gear as the gas station had now become busy with others in need of a refueling.
She quickly threw her SUV into gear. She needed to go and she needed to go now, before she changed her mind. She did not think that her Aunt, Uncle and Alex would make it so difficult to leave, but she knew that when she came back there were three sets of arms ready and waiting for her to return.
The vehicle rapidly beginning to barrel down towards the highway exit and departing her home town.
The adventure had begun. Radio up, music blaring, and GPS set for her first destination placed in the dashboard mount. Energy drink open and being consumed... it was time to let go and get out.
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A/N: What do we think about the complexities of Alex and Elizabeth's relationship? Where is it going to go?
As always, thank you for reading and if you enjoyed it please give it a vote and/or comment!