Warning: This fanfic contains swearing, a bit of graphic violence, booze, smoking, and trauma.
A/n: Rewrote ch. 19-65. Chapters heavily rewritten will have a "*" at the *title* so old readers can scroll to the bottom and see what changes I've made. At one point I'll edit or perhaps rewrite 1-18, but I'd like to at least finish season 8 of the fic. Thanks for sticking with me, I hope these changes better your reading <3
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Time is constantly spent and lost forever, memories being all that stay. Some are so good you hold on to them like a lifeline... While others are so bad you wish to forget them. You do, whether you like it or not. Whether they were pleasant or awful it didn't matter, you search their empty space, now room for new ones. You take those with all you have left. They are all you have left. They grow in the crevices of your heart, brushing it with warmth or pricking you with hurt.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Cold to the bone. As if your body fell into a winter waterfall and your head banged against the jagged rocks that met the water. Falling and falling, you crashed to the ground, the wind knocked painfully out of you. Everything is fuzzy, your ringing ears dulled over with screams. The stupid headache worsened as your lungs took in the air with a dry gasp... And then your eyes snapped wide open. Reflected in them are the faces of hostile villagers under a black sky, fear rotting them to the core. They were frozen as you sat up and a stronger, piercing ache pounded on your skull. You clutched under your hood, their panic high as you touched what it is. Something chill to the touch and smooth on your skin, its material glistening jade. It is a mask of jade. You ran your fingers on it, brushing a confusing familiarity. But you don't have time to think about it. The wind howled, stirring the restless dead grass around you. Whispers haunted the night, floating from the graves.
"It's the evil spirit!" One of the people shrilled at you, "They brought back the dead!"
"What are you talking..." An icy hand clamped on your shoulder. Your head whipped behind you, and you saw a dead woman. A ghost. You couldn't move- you couldn't believe it. None of it made sense. Nothing in your strangely empty mind. She laughed, you couldn't tell if it was at you or not before she phased out, leaving a bruising grip. That was all it took for the fingers to point blame, ignoring your plain fear as you rushed to their side.
"Don't come near us!" People screeched at you as they pushed you back into the center. "Stay back!"
"No, no you don't understand-!" Nothing you said would get through.
"You fell from the sky- and then this happened! I think it's pretty clear!"
"Perhaps they themselves are a ghost- no a demon!"
"I'm not- I'm-"
"Did you see how still they were, like they were dead, and suddenly they woke up?"
"What about their mask? It has broken horns!"
"They're obviously planning something!"
"I bet they're controlling our loved one's spirits!"
"It's all a trick!"
"They'll kill us! They'll make us fall in line!"
"We need to kill them-"
"I'm innocent!!!" An outburst so desperate, they stared in shock, and soon it was your turn. Soft whispers cracked the tense quiet. Tiny, turquoise lights swirled upwards from the grounds to your side. All the restless spirits appeared to see, curiously gazing at you, as the villagers let fear grasp them.
"Run!!! Protect your families!" Some scrambled away, and few stayed, charging at your still form. Your hand scarcely yanked up like a string took it, and the wisps of blue light followed. Breathing, you calmed yourself in the face of the overwhelming number of ghosts and the soon-running away villagers. Yet, your concentration was shattered. One man almost brought his shovel down on you. It never reached, caught by another ghost. Transparent and wispy, the ghost's fingers strengthened on the shovel, wrenching it from the attacker's grip.
"I was waiting for this, y'know, uncle." The ghost chuckled, vengeance in his strike with the shovel. His uncle could only mouth his nephew's name, cowering to the ground with apologies. He wasn't hearing any of it and raised the shovel high.
"Stop!" you yelled and the spirit turned to you, letting the last man retreat away from the graveyard.
"Why should we?" A youthful woman sat on one of the many graves with broken headstones. "Do you see all around you?"
"They don't care."
"They never did."
"My send-off was never completed."
"I want to make that woman suffer while I can!"
"Mama I'm lost! I want my mama!"
"They will all pay!" They all repeated the phrase, shouting the mantra with anguish that racked your skull and made you fold into yourself, trying to cover your ears. It warped them and twisted them all together as they hurt more, unaware of what they were slowly becoming. They cried louder and harder; "THEY WILL ALL PAY!!!"
"ENOUGH!!!" An elderly soul thundered over the distraught souls, their forms wavering, and climbing back down. "They can help us."
"Like how they hopelessly stood there?"
"Pfftt, I'll get better help from the trash littered around our graves."
"How can a mortal do that?"
"Wait... you don't mean-"
"Yes, you all saw it. They have potential... An element..." Believing in his words, in you, the old spirit kneeled on the ground in front of you, his head graced the ground. "Please, you can send us off."
"Uh..." You had no idea how to break it to them, not when they were looking at you with so much hope they haven't had in long years. You had to at least try, can't you? "I'll see what I can do." Your mind started sifting through your memories but nothing came up and your hands rummaged through your pockets inside your cloak. You brought out a small, black leather journal, bringing it up to the light of a paper lantern. 'There has to be something I can do.' Your mind is as blank as the many white pages in the journal. Only the first few pages were filled with messy, rushed handwriting, much like your rushed skimming of the pages. 'Something, anything, right?'
"Are you sure they can help?"
"They look lost."
"Like they've lost it all, haha!"
"Hurry it up," a woman sighed and grasped her kimono. "Useless."
"I said I'm trying here," you snapped, a tinge of irritation and the teal flickers of light at your side billowed outward with a hiss. You forgot those were there, falling back by your side as the woman fell silent. They all did, the flames dancing blue in the paper lanterns, burning them. You kept reading with the whispers that buzzed in your ears, fueling you to prove their doubts wrong. You noticed the unlit incense on the ground and walked over to a paper lamp. A single orange flame flowered on it, and you read the words off the page in a mutter. "Guide the lost." Blue or orange, it didn't matter, all the flames weaved to the center of the graveyard to be blue. "To rest in peace." You rang a glass bell that hung from a lamp post, its chime stilling the flames. "Let them make amends with the past..." You burned a white page in the sapphire fire, and the flames shifted into a blue glow, floating above the graveyard. "They may now pass."
None of them made a move, a hesitance in their drifting. Eyes peered straight into the light shining and shimmering, a distortion in the space. It is an unknown, yet somehow, they knew that's where they needed to go. One brave soul went forward and touched the light with a jump, expecting it to go wrong. But nothing did. The glow stayed a soft hue, chiming a single time to reassure them to let go. And the first one to go up, finally did with a smile so tired. They wisped away into the gentle light as their turquoise dust scattered across the midnight sky, reaching for the full moon. A few stared in longing, eventually flying to the glow like moths and grasping it together. A couple, the woman in the kimono, held hands and left, giving you a sheepish grin. The one with the shovel hardened his grip and threw it away to rest. The child that was sobbing let a lingering giggle as they too disappeared into the night. There was only one left.
"Thank you." The old man's voice echoed on your side, and found his way to the dimming light, leaving that same trail of dust. "Our leftover spirits' essence will help you when you need it..."
"Okay, old man." He gave a faded laugh. With him and the light gone, you wobbled, the adrenaline and plain disbelief catching up to you. "No fucking way that just happened," you cursed, and looked back up at the graves, as quiet as the night, but those things ever floated, waiting. Orbs and specks of teal, all glowing a slow, steady rhythm. They coaxed you into your lost world. You reached out to them, and they are as drawn to you as you are to them. Like water, they flow into your hand, sinking into your skin, belonging there. 'At least I have this...'
"That's them! There they are!" A distant cry cut the small peace you had.
'Ugh, can't they just forget me?' You find the floating particles hissing and agreeing in your ears in something only you can understand. A language the dust only spoke to you in bits and pieces. Dazed, you tried to listen, hearing them telling you to move. Well, that wasn't hard of a decision with the pitchforks and axes, the bits of shabby samurai armor seeing better days. 'Where should I go? There are so many trees-'
"They're heading to the village- warn the women and children! Flank them!" Making the decision for you, the leader and his group shepherd you, a giant horn blown twice. There was a single black horse riding up ahead of you, carrying the boy blowing that shitty horn. Was that the one horse they could afford around here? "Stand down, boy!"
"I can take them, father!"
"Turn back!" His father hollered, spitting into the air, and his son didn't listen. He should of. You dodged, his movements too predictable, and giving just enough time to do what you had to do. On instinct, your palm struck out and landed on the boy's stomach, but it was missing something. It didn't have the strength you were used to. Either way, it knocked the boy down and crumpled him to the grass for a breath. He gave you a nasty look as the horse trotted away, uncaring.
"Sorry?"
"Shut it," he seethed while unsheathing his dagger.
"Hey, I'm trying to-"
"I said shut it! You evil spirit!"
"Okay, okay. Let's just calm down." You stepped back, putting some space from the quivering hold of his sword. 'Sure I showed up out of nowhere with a bunch of ghosts and no memory of my past except my name, but that's not suspicious... at all.'
"Stay back!" All the warriors had surrounded you, having caught up.
"Woah, Woah! Just listen! I saved your asses from those ghosts! I didn't do anything!" They only glowered like animals. Bitter bile rose in your stomach. Your shaky hand fiddled with your mask and fell limp by your side. "Fine, I see how it is."
"We won't believe your lies, o-oni!" A man shivered, putting up a front, before running aimlessly at you. Cowardly as he was, his ax blade was just a hair's close to chipping your mask if you didn't raise your hand. Strands of dusty blue whipped out and pushed him away a foot or two. That was all for the man to break. "Ahhh!!! It is a demon! Run, run, it's no use!"
"No, stay and fight!!!" You were running on instincts at that point, not knowing what else to do but trust that feeling in your gut as you smacked a pitchfork and another with your ability. You'll have to run too! "They're running to the horse!" Too late, you grabbed the saddle, and as soon as you got on, the horse became startled and raced off. People crashed and shoved into each other, making way for your escape with yelps as it took off straight through the crowd. You almost slipped off and wrapped your arms around its neck for dear fucking life. As the horse sprinted farther away into the woods, it started to fatigue itself. Eventually, it halted to a trot, the midnight woods deafeningly quiet. You are alone.
...
As alone as you were, your morning was surprisingly peaceful, yet short as you wanted to cover more ground. Which you were becoming bored of, seeing trees and trees and dirt and bushes... Where were you even going? You rummaged your pockets and just found the corner of your small book again. Which was utterly useless. Well, not completely. There was a section on how to use the blue spirits' essences, or as the book calls it, "wisps". You think that sounds cooler and way shorter. You closed your eyes and summoned the floating, turquoise orbs. They were surprisingly versatile but weak, mostly good to shove things away. Their real potential came when you raised your hands together, and a- The wisps hissed, drawing your attention from them to the trees above. Something was there. Like someone was watching...
'But nothing is there.' You squinted behind your mask, seeing nothing. That feeling doesn't go away. 'I'm just being paranoid...' You sighed, running your fingers through the horse's mane. He knickered at you, leaning into your touch. The softness of his white hair calmed you, letting your mind rest for a moment. "I need a name for you." So that was what you busied your time with until you found his name, and heard rushing water fill your ears. Nonoc as you named him, sprinted deeper into the tall trees. Not even a minute into his trot did you spot a river, the horse greedily drinking from it. You patted Nonoc's head and tied his reign on a low branch so he could take a break. You as well. You could use a relaxing bath. Your hands found their way to your mask first, taking it off to study it. Intricate engravings along the curves of the mask became chipped horns. There were a couple of shallow scratches, itching to cut deeper. Still, nothing rang a bell. Scoffing, you placed it aside and peered at your reflection below.
Nothing about your face struck a chord of remembrance, and your frown deepened. You gave up and continued undressing for a bath. You dipped your leg in, the river's warmth letting you sink into it by your- "Ow." A sting pricked your neck as you looked down to see something green wisp around it. Mirrored on the water, your eyes follow the strand to a strange green inscription on your neck. That shouldn't be there. Panicked, you scratched and rubbed at the inscription, but it reflected on the water with throbs of pain. You dunked your head in to wash it off, staying under and meeting the stare of a ghost above the riverbank. Your mouth was agape and realization struck you. The ghost giggled on top of Nonoc as you broke through the surface, coughing your lungs out.
"Aw, I was hoping I would have a buddy to hang out with." She stuck her tongue out as you glared at her. "You should cover up by the way."
"Why didn't you say sooner!" You sank into the river until your nose was above the water and you curled up into a ball. It didn't do much to hide your embarrassment. "Fuck you."
She burst out laughing and cleared her throat when it didn't get better, "Ahahah- sorry, sorry, I should have waited- ptff."
"I don't think I want someone waiting there while I take a bath." You washed your hair in the water.
"Fair point." Nonoc snorted at her, his tail whipping up.
"I assume that was you in the trees?"
"Yep."
"Just what do you want?"
"You don't seem like a bad person. I want to cross over, and I know you can help me, "Evil" Spirit of The North."
"I got really popular huh?" It seemed that even your brief break was stressful. A breath shoved through, "Even if I did help you, I don't have the materials to let you and it has to be nighttime."
"Well, I can, along with your ability or whatever, steal what you need."
"Villages have already caught word of me." Your hard stare pointed to the black cloak folded under the metal-plated clothes. "That's like asking to be caught."
"We can go from village to village and I can get you some new clothes."
"I don't know..." Wrinkled fingertips played with the cattails growing out behind the rock you sat on. The ghost lady chuckled, having one last trick up her sleeve.
"Are you seriously going to live your whole life in a forest living off apples? What about winter- your clothes aren't going to hold up. You're gonna need food too..." Her pupils trained on Nonoc, and he snorted with a whine. "Horse ribs are pretty tasty-"
"Okay, okay, fine! I need your help..."
"Sooooo, friends?"
"For now. Let's get it over with. And turn around!"
"Okie Dokie - Oh! My name is Larina. I'd shake your hand but I'm a ghost." She poked her finger into the water, steam rising from the disappearing knuckle. Rapidly, she shook it through the air, crying, "Ow, ow, I forgot how much that stung!" Larina continued cradling her pinky with sniffles, wishing on her ghost life she never did that.
'This will be a long journey...'
And long it was. But fun too.
...
The first two weeks weren't all that fun. It consisted of laying low in the outskirts of the winding forest while rationing out apples for both your horse and yourself. So you waited and waited with your scout until she told you when you've waited enough. News of the 'evil' spirit haunting Ninjago died down and settlements further away paid ignorance to the rumors. Those five weeks slowly inched by since then. You don't know what you'd do without Larina. The past adventurer knew her way around, going down memory lane from decades past. She was funny too, a nice companion to have around, filling the emptiness with her stories... You'd be lying if you said you didn't get attached.
A yawn passed your lips as the sun rose above the stretch of mountains you traveled on. It was a busy morning. Larina was having the time of her ghost life recounting all the people she dumped. "...anyway, I realized that the dude was a total dunce and just plain mean- Oh, we're out of that garbage mountain range and I can see another garbage village!"
"Now all we need are your shitty incense sticks."
"And your shitty food supply, mortal."
"The thing we don't need is that garbage attitude," you mocked and sped Nonoc up.
"Look who's talking!"
"Wow! You're ruthless!"
"Gotta be honey!"
"Hope you like floating all the way over there!"
"No- wait- I take it back!" Laughing, you trotted, letting her catch a ride. You made it to the village gates in less than half an hour and were let in without a problem. You spent even less time buying the supplies, not wanting to stick around for too long in the crowd. The stolen money Larina got from the other trips and this one chimed happily on your side as you took out a coin. The shopkeeper looked from your innocent face to the traded gold coin for the incense sticks. They took it without a word, and like that, Larina's journey would come to an end.
'...all we can do is wait for the night.' You grasped the incense sticks tight and mounted Nonoc, riding out of the village as soon as you got on. A call of your name halted you, the ghost hurrying to your side. "Took you a while. We have to go."
"Yeah, what's the rush? I could have gotten two more money bags," she simpered as she dropped the bag of coins in your lap with a jingle.
"I wanna cover more ground." You took her hand, it solid in your own. Holding it carefully, you guide her to the back of your saddle.
"Y'know I could have floated, right?" Her voice carried a smirk.
"I don't see you complaining. You're smirking too."
"Am not!"
"Uh-huh, and why is Nonoc staring at you funny?"
"Our stead wants a treat." Nonoc side-eyed Larina and she patted him as she whispered, "M'kay, don't snitch, and you get all the apples and carrots in the world!"
"I can hear you, you know." You couldn't help the grin cracking your cold demeanor.
"No, you don't!" She placed her hands over your ears, not that they can insulate much, the air whistling in your ears. "Right Nonoc? We're gonna pull a mean prank on them again!"
"Please- not that again!
"Just don't sleep and you'll be fine."
"I don't plan to," you ended up yawning, the ghost cackling evilly. 'Now I definitely can't sleep.' You really couldn't. Riding on the path continued with the usual banter, slowly reminding you of how little sleep you got with your weak comebacks. It felt as if you were throwing paper shurikens at a blizzard. "Dirtbag."
"Dirtbag? I think you need some sleep with that 'insult'."
"Nah, I can struggle with this horse more." Nonoc was displeased with your sentence, shaking his mane in your face. You spat out the dirty strands with a "yuck".
"It's fine, let me take over."
"Go ahead, but I'm not sleeping- sleep is for the weak," you yawned. 'I am not sleeping.'
"You sound like a ten-year-old." She snickered, and added a promise, "I won't pull the prank, you don't have to worry about that."
"...Fine." So, you let her take the reins, falling back into a dreamless sleep.
...
"Looks like I was right, you were so sleepy you slept until it's sunset."
"Huh!?" You sprang upright and almost slid off of Nonoc if it wasn't for your friend's arms secured around your waist.
"Easy there, wrangler. Don't want a broken arm."
"You should have woken me sooner!"
"No can do, you were way too sleepy for that." You heaved a sigh and Nonoc bit on Larina's disappearing fingernails as she led him to a thin tree trunk deeper in the forest. Her pale blue face barely hid her pain behind the worry. "You're upset, right?"
"No, let's just get the stuff ready for the crossing..." You gave a smile that didn't quite reach your eyes. "That obvious?"
"Yes and no, a dumbass would have fallen for that smile but I ain't dumb."
"Debatable." you weakly joked but it was forgotten like a leaf in the wind. "I knew this was happening - I didn't want to..."
"You're acting like we won't see each other again."
"And what if we don't? What if I never see you-"
"I know you're not forgetting me anytime soon." Your first friend in this lonely world hugged you as your vision got blurry. "I'm not gonna just leave you in the dumps like that... so let's hang out together, one more time."
It felt like your moment with Larina talking, and reminiscing, lasted minutes but it really lasted hours. When her smile fluttered away, a newer part of you also fluttered away into the dust. You were alone, with Nonoc, nudging his head into your empty arms. He gave you comfort, well aware of her missing. You talked to him, but really, you were asking yourself; "We'll see her again, won't we?"
The stars above twinkled in the vast midnight. One star is lonelier than the rest.