You felt numb. Like your whole world had been shattered once again in just a few words. After a couple of minutes, you willed back the rest of your tears and pulled away from Dean's embrace. You immediately missed his warmth but you tried to recompose yourself while wiping the tears off of your face.
"Did he.. Did he.." you could hardly get the last words out of your mouth.
"It was a headshot," Sam said. There was no way to put it delicately. "He didn't suffer, but y/n... Bobby is a ghost."
Instantly your tears stopped and you looked up at Sam. "He-he is what?" you managed to get out.
"Bobby decided to stay and missed the bus to angel land," Dean says while watching you intently.
"So, is he here?" you ask looking around, desperately trying to sense if he was nearby but knew it was stupid.
"No. He was anchored to his canteen and it went missing a few days back. We think either someone stole it or-"
"Or he found a way to move it himself" you finished for Sam. They looked at you and you could tell they were wondering how you guessed. "He has always been a stubborn ass. Probably hated the idea of being left behind" you shrugged.
Sam raised his eyebrows "yeah he did. But he was growing restless fast. If we find him..."
He didn't have to continue. You knew what it meant if he didn't go with the reaper. You nodded and looked between Sam and Dean.
"Umm," you said clearing your throat. "I came to give you this," you say pulling the vial out of your pocket.
"Crowley's blood?" Dean asks taking it from you. As your hands brushed you felt a tingle of electricity race through you.
"For all I know" you reply, finally getting a hold of your human emotions again.
"Great" Dean huffs but then turns his attention back to you, but this time he looked exasperated.
"Why did you come with this?" he asked finally connecting the dots. "Are you-" he started to ask while clenching his jaw.
"Working for Crowley?" you finished for him calmly. "Yes"
You looked between the two brothers. You could tell they were hurt by your statement.
"Your what?" Dean says gruffly, looking back towards you with rage.
"Look, I had nowhere else to go and I needed to help somehow with all the Leviathan business-"
"No y/n," Dean says interrupting you. It startled you and you remained quiet. He didn't mean to scare you and seeing the fear on your face made his eyes soften and guilt flood through him. "Y/n, you had us." He says with a little less venom. "You could have come with us. We could have used your help. Hell, it's better than working with Crowley! We didn't even know where you were or if you were alive!"
"Dean, I couldn't face you after that night," you say. You didn't even realize what you said. You knew you shouldn't have brought it up. You knew they didn't want to discuss it.
Dean remained quiet and hurt flashed across his features before his anger rekindled, but it was different. It was almost like he was upset with himself.
Suddenly there was a knock at the door and Sam motioned for you to be quiet as he pulled out his gun and approached the peephole. He rolls his eyes and opens the door to reveal Meg.
"You deal with him. I can't anymore." Meg says walking into the room with a huff.
Your demon side quickly bubbles to the surface and you quickly pin her against the wall.
"What are you doing here?" you growl.
She had panic all over her face as she looked at you. "I-I was laying low halfway across the world when emo boy pops up out of nowhere and zaps me right back here. If I had known-"
But you slam her against the wall. Hard. And she stops speaking. Her eyes were wide looking between you and the boys.
"Y/n Meg is on our side," Sam says calmly trying to de-escalate the situation.
"I heard," you say pushing your arm into her throat. She starts gasping for air as you gradually lift her off the ground.
"Y/n stop it!" Sam says and you knew you shouldn't look around but you did and Sam had his big pleading puppy dog eyes that completely softened your soul. You realized what you were doing and backed off letting Meg slump to the floor gasping for breath.
"What the hell y/n?" Sam says looking at you with a mix of fear and hurt. You clench your jaw watching Meg regain her composer.
"I have never seen Meg so scared," Dean says almost in a chuckle and you smirk as Meg gives him a bitch face and you could tell from Dean's reaction Sam must be giving him one too.
"Y/n and I have history," Meg says still staying on the floor. "If had known she would be here I would have turned tail and run" She basically spat.
"Damn right," you say giving her a death glare.
"Woah Woah Woah," Dean says stepping in between you two. "Time out. We have a mission to accomplish, then you two can have your little chick-fight"
This time you and Meg glared at Dean to which he stepped back awkwardly and clasped his hands together like he does whenever he is nervous.
"Well, why did Cas bring you here?" Dean asked while clearing his throat.
Meg stood up, glancing between you and Dean "Go ask him." she says motioning towards the door "He was your boyfriend first."
You try to hide the chuckle that rose to your throat, but Dean just rolled his eyes and walked out of the cabin leaving you, Sam, and Meg to all stare each other down. It was silent, but Sam kept trying to open up a conversation about stupid things like "Are you up to speed on Dick?" or "Where were you heading Meg?". You knew sam was just trying to fill the awkward space but both you and Meg just gave bland answers- much preferring to stare daggers into one another. Sam kept clearing his throat anxiously and you could tell he wanted to ask what the deal was between you two, but he knew better.
Dean and Cas walk through the door and Cas's eyes widen as a smile spreads across his face.
"Y/n!" He says picking up his pace and embracing you in a hug. You were a little confused because you and Cas had never been very close but you hugged him back awkwardly nonetheless.
"Good to see you too?" you tried not to have it sound like a question but it came out like one. Cas didn't seem to notice.
"I am sorry for what I did to you," he says with sadness filling his eyes and part of his usual demeanor returning for a moment.
"It's- It's okay Cas. What is important is that we kill Dick and get this horror show over with" you say patting his arm.
He swiftly walks away from you, turning his eyes to the floor.
"Now, you understand I don't participate in aggressive activity." He says while picking up the bone that was on the table. He sniffs it and smiles.
"Mm. Sister Mary Constant. Good choice." He says.
"Why'd you go to Meg, Cas?" Dean asks.
"When I left, I wanted to observe the flowers – and fruit. Flowers come first, obviously. But I heard nothing from them." You were too perplexed by what Cas was saying to even register what he was trying to tell you. Was this Cas? You knew he loved bees and other creatures, but... really?
"You heard nothing from who?" Sam asks, snapping you out of your thoughts.
"The Garrison."
"What happened to the Garrison?" Dean prods.
"Well," Castiel starts. "Finally, the silence was deafening, so I went to look... to the home of the Prophet. You know, Leviathan can kill angels. There's a reason why Father locked them in Purgatory. They're the Piranha that would eat the whole aquarium. They're gone. The entire Garrison – dead. If there's anyone left at all, they're in hiding."
"Um, I'm sorry. If the angels are dead, where's Kevin?" Dean asks with a worried frown.
"I could steal them from their cages, the monkeys. But where would I put them all?" again you found yourself confused.
"Hey!" Dean shouts as he claps his hands. "Focus. Is Kevin alive?"
"I don't want to fight," Cas says looking between him and Meg.
"No, I'm not – " Dean says taking a deep breath to control his frustration. He calmly continues "We're worried."
"They took him. He's alive. I felt such responsibility, but it's in your hands now." Cas says setting the bone back down.
"Wait. Hold on a freakin' minute." Dean says but Meg interrupts.
"Guys, what's all that?"
You turn to see Meg looking at the summoning spell paraphernalia the boys had used.
"We called Crowley. That's how Y/n knew where to find us" Dean answers with a shrug.
"You what?!" she yells. "Your working with y/n and Crowley?"
"Don't worry. He never showed." Dean reassures her but you smirk knowing how Meg is going to react.
"You idiot he could still-"
"Show up at any time," Crowley says from behind Meg who slowly turns around. She wasn't as afraid as when she saw you, but still. Any fearful expression from her is priceless. "Hello, boys. Sorry, I'm late. This is an embarrassment of riches. Have you caught up with y/n?"
Meg tries to run out the door but you grab her arm and yank her back.
"Stay, won't you. There's really nowhere to run." Crowley basically purrs as you smirk at her.
"Leave her be," Cas says looking between you and Crowley. His voice was low and slightly intimidating. You were a little shocked that he was standing up for her considering what she is.
"All right, enough," Dean says looking between the angel, Crowley, and you.
"It's enough when I say. I came here to help you. I find out you've been lying to me, harboring an angel, and not just any angel – the one angel I most want to crush between my teeth." Crowley hisses.
"Oh, so you can crush angels now, huh?" Meg says with a smirk.
"You bore me. You know that? You have no sense of poetry." Crowley spits at her. "Now, what do you have to say for yourself?" He asks turning back to Cas.
"Well, I'm still, uh, honing my communication strategy. I haven't even been back to Heaven. I-I keep thinking there are no insects up there, but here we have trillions. You know, they're making honey and silk and... miracles, really." Cas says handing Crowley some honey. He looks between You (who no doubt is just as confused as he is) and Dean who just shrugs, and then back to Cas who is still holding out the honey.
"What the bloody hell are you talking about?"
"Um, preferring insects to angels, I guess." He says and gestures back to the bag of honey in his hands "It's honey. I-I collected it myself." He says with a giant grin. If you were being completely honest you thought Cas was adorable, but you knew he must be going through something that put him into this type of mental state.
"You're off your rocker." Crowley breathes out. "He's off his rocker – is that it? Karma's a bitch, isn't it?" Crowley says with a scoff.
"Look, did you come here too, uh, donkey-punch your old grudges or to help us end Dick? Pick a battle." Dean says sternly. It made a tingle run down your spine as butterflies returned. Whenever Dean got sassy it always made something inside of you warm up with affection. Meg noticed the small shiver that coursed through your body and smirked at you, to which you returned a glare but sadly it didn't wipe the smug smile from her face.
"Well, I'm vexed. I'd like to do both. But where's the fun in clobbering a ball of wet fur? Text me when Sparkles here retrieves his marbles, I suppose. Meanwhile, Dick had me in a devil trap. He's not an idiot. He knows what you two are after." Crowley continues.
"So what did he offer you?" Sam asks cautiously. You were intent to hear what Crowley had to say.
"A fair deal. In exchange for giving you the wrong blood."
The boys turn to you and you look at Crowley who just rolls his eyes. "It's my blood. The real deal." He says to you in a huff.
"And why should we trust you?" Dean asks.
"Good God, don't. Never trust anyone. A lesson I learned from my last business partner." Crowley says looking at Castiel. "Anyways, souls to collect, lives to ruin, yadda yadda yadda" he rolls his eyes at you, motioning for you to get ready to leave. "Let's go Y/n".
Dean looks at you and you feel your heart freeze a little at the thought of leaving again after all this time. You missed him damn it. You really missed him.
"Y/n?" Crowley says growing impatient.
"I am going to stay," you say snapping your attention away from Dean to Crowley.
"What?" Crowley says looking at you.
"I am going to stay and see this through," you say sternly. Your emotions were all over the place at this point and you couldn't help but feel the longing that came with seeing Dean again.
"Fine" Crowley gruffly replies but then turns to Meg. "I'm gonna scoop you up, take you home, and roast you till you're jerky. But not... yet. Cas can have you for now. Hilariously, it seems he'd be upset at losing you. And the boys need Cas to get Dick. Don't they, Cas?" Crowley says looking to the angel.
"Oh, I – I don't fight anymore." He says as a guilty expression spreads over his face.
"Come on. Given the particulars of your enemy, sadly, you're vital." Crowley taunts before disappearing. Meg yanks her arm from your hold and you glare at her again for a moment before turning your attention back to Dean who's eyes held about as many mixed emotions as yours probably did.
***
The boys didn't really ask about what all you had done for hell and frankly you were grateful. You caught up on the crazy things they had been up to during the past year as Sam and Dean prepared the spell. They told you about Sams wall coming down, Cas returning, meeting the prophet Kevin, and well everything.
"Can I see?" you ask looking at the notebook in Dean's hands. He looks up at you with his piercing green eyes.
"I don't know. Are you going to take it to Crowley?" he asks.
You roll your eyes and take it from him looking at the pages.
"So this was Kevins?" you ask looking through the pages.
"Yeah, amazing kid," Dean says. "If something happens to him.."
You look up from the book and put your hand on Dean's while looking into his eyes. Your hand felt like it was on fire and your heart rate sped up significantly. Only Dean Winchester could make you flustered with just a touch.
You nod your head understanding what he meant gave the book back to him.
"Thanks," he said removing his hand from yours to grab the notebook.
"Well, one thing's for sure – we only get one shot," Dean says as Sam walks back inside with the vial of blood.
"You think Crowley's, uh-" he starts while trying to clear the lump from his throat. He looks at you, trying to figure out how to finish his sentence.
"Double-crossing us? No. You've got to figure who he wants dead more – us or Dick." you answer.
"Depends what Dick offered." Dean rebuts. He did have a point, but you knew the negotiations were made after he already gave you the vial so you figured the chances of it being the wrong blood were really low. "Here we go," Sam says pouring the blood onto the bone.
"Okay. Um... so do we, uh..." Sam says struggling for words.
"There's no magic words – nothing. We just... just go." Dean says looking at the bowl waiting for something to happen. You were too- if you were being honest. If that was a weapon powerful enough to kill the Leviathan, you were expecting a bit of a light show or something.
"All right, then," Sam says scoffing. "Uh... maybe it worked?"
"Awesome," Dean says gruffly, obviously skeptical.
You offer him a small smile and he smiles back making your heart skip a beat. You managed to pull your eyes away from his captivating features and look down at the bone.
"So..." you start while clearing your throat. "what now?"