Chapter 39:
Daddy ran to the front door and locked it before shoving the keys in his pocket.
"Look, I know it sounds horrible," he began as Mommy stared at him. "But you need to understand that if we don't kill them they're going to take them away from us. They're going to take our babies away from us. We can't let that happen."
Mommy shook her head. "No way in hell do I want these people taking my babies from me either. But I can't kill them; that's too much pain, Dominic. We have to think of something else, quick—"
"There is nothing else we can do. Don't worry, it won't hurt, they won't even know. We'll just sedate Aaron and Leo first. They won't feel it, Cara. They'll be sleeping. It won't hurt. But it'll hurt them if they go back to that place, to that cruel world; they're going to die everyday there. Everybody out there is horrible. Everybody."
"They won't feel it?" Mommy asked, and Daddy nodded. The idea started settling; she didn't want to hurt her babies, but they weren't going to feel it. They were going to die without even knowing, followed by her and the others—that, she realized, was better than them going back to that torture of a life. Just a prick and it'd be all over. If she died with them, it would be fair. "I don't know... I mean.."
"Cara, we planned this way before and you agreed, remember? There's no backing out. Imagine Aaron and Leo taken away from us, imagine that. Our family will fall apart."
"No... my babies," Mommy mumbled, her heart aching. And she remembered when she'd agreed; she'd thought back then of being ripped away from her babies, of the departure and pain and distance. It was true. Mommy always wanted to stay with her babies. And if they weren't going to stay with her, then she'd rather have everyone die. She snapped her head up, nodding tentatively at Daddy. "You're right. No one can take my babies away from me. It's better if we all die instead. I want Aaron and Leo with me, not with anyone else. Just with me."
"Exactly. Now go up, see them for the last time. And take Leo away to another room. I'm going to finish with Aaron first."
Mommy brushed past him. She hurried up the stairs, to the living room where the boys were. They were plopped on the couch, Leo watching TV while Aaron had a contemplative expression on. His eyes were rooted to the screen, but it was almost like he was looking past it.
She knew she didn't have a lot of time, that soon Daddy would come and sedate them; it had to happen before the police would weave their way in through the labyrinth of trees and dense foliage. So she came in, ignoring the repulsed look that twisted Aaron's face, then she sat down beside Leo.
She looked at her youngest with wide, sad eyes. "You know how much Mommy loves you, right, baby?" she asked. Leo nodded, smiling. It saddened Aaron that Leo couldn't see past all this affection, that he couldn't see that her love was just as twisted as her mentality. "We would never hurt you, baby. And not Aaron. We only want what is best for you, always remember that."
Aaron frowned as Mommy's eyes glistened like dewy grass. It looked as if she was holding in her tears, refusing to break out crying.
"I'm so proud of you, Aaron." Mommy focused on Aaron, who just stared back; he couldn't bring himself to ask what was going on, so he stuck with remaining quiet for her to fill in the silence with an explanation. "Because you're such an amazing big brother. I didn't realize how much Leo needed one until you came. Until I saw the way he looks at you, the way he talks about you."
It hurt that she wouldn't see her baby boys again, that it was going to end. But it was better than them going back to that world. "Go give Aaron a hug, Leo." Mommy patted Leo's cheek lightly, and he didn't hesitate to turn back to Aaron and throw his arms around him. Aaron reciprocated, cautiously eyeing the captor over Leo's shoulder.
Leo pulled back, eyes so oblivious, so innocent and so trusting. "Life became better with you, Aar."
"Yeah. Same," Aaron mumbled back as he forced a smile. He sounded detached even though he genuinely felt so too. Right now, his brain was swamped with worry over Mommy's alarmingly odd behavior. Something was clearly wrong.
Mommy watched for a little while before she spoke, "Come, Leo, baby. Let's change your clothes." Her voice cracked; a small, tiny rift that Aaron quickly picked upon.
She stood, holding Leo's hand; she was taking him away so Daddy would come and finish with Aaron first and it was the last time she and Leo would see Aaron. Reaching forwards, she cupped Aaron's cheek, and her fingers trembled against his skin with the same shaky rhythm like the first time she'd touched him.
For some odd reason, Aaron didn't dare move; some invisible restrictions kept him in place, kept his muscles unmoving as he stared at her.
"Remember that you mean the world to me, baby," Mommy whispered, holding the back of Aaron's head, pulling him closer. Her shaky breath fanned across his face until she sealed the space and pecked his forehead. "I'm sorry if we made you upset. We only ever meant to take care of you. I love you more than the world will ever know, son. Believe me."
As Mommy finally straightened, hand slipping off Aaron's head, every part of her being erupted into yearning. Still, she didn't allow it to reach her face other than in a single silent tear trickling down her cheek, one that went smoothly unnoticed. She looked back at Leo.
"Say bye to Aaron before you go, Leo."
Leo frowned for a second. "Mommy, don't be silly. I'm coming back, just want to change my clothes."
Mommy shrugged. "Just for fun, Leo."
Leo slowly dropped the frown, then giggled and turned back to Aaron, waving his hand at him. "Bye, Aar!"
"Bye." Aaron watched as Mommy guided Leo out. He sat up, his shoulders tensing anxiously as he thought it over; everything sounded precisely like a farewell. Just as he stood to go out and find Lou, who could perhaps explain to him what was going on, Daddy came in.
"Baby..." Daddy began as he slowly edged forwards. Aaron pressed himself back against the couch, away from him. He didn't want that violent psycho anywhere near him. "I-I don't know what to say, baby. The last time I talked to you, I messed up. I was angry, baby. I was angry because you don't want our love."
"Yeah no shit, I noticed you were angry," Aaron hissed. "You shoved a rag in my mouth, slammed my face into the wall and put me in armlock and stepped on my foot."
"I'm sorry baby." Daddy tried reaching for Aaron, but his baby flinched away. The way he recoiled, gathering himself, tore his heart. Daddy pulled his hand back, just staring at Aaron instead with sad eyes. Guilty eyes. "I'm sorry that I hurt you, I'm sorry that I was so harsh with you. I just was angry because you weren't loving us, you weren't appreciating our effort. But I love you baby, I will always love you."
Daddy remained stoic for a moment, but then he leant in, grabbing Aaron by side of his head, forcing him into a hug. He could kiss his hair and his cheek and his temple and his shoulder and nose—everywhere he hurt him—and that still wouldn't be enough to apologize. To show him that all he'd ever wanted was to protect him.
Daddy still blamed Aaron for never accepting their love, blamed him for refusing to surrender to what they thought was best for him. But now as he stood with the knowledge of the near death lingering in his brain, it didn't matter. "Please don't hate me, baby. Forgive me for when I hurt you."
Aaron tried pushing him off. "It's not about forgiving you. I pity you. I pity you and your screwed up mentality."
"Baby, I—"
Lou peeked in through the door. "Hey, um... can I have a word you?"
Daddy pulled away from Aaron, smiled at him one last time as his hand slowly raked though his hair before turning to Lou. He knew that now he needed to explain the situation to him and then get the entire thing over with—the police needed around ten minutes to come; they'd been scattered around the outer skirts of the woods and it would need a little while for them to root their way through and get past the gates. So he still had time.
Both men walked out of the room, standing further back at the end of the corridor.
"Dom.." Lou's voice was urgent, wavering yet steady all at the same time. "Please tell me what Cara said isn't true. We're not going to kill them and ourselves, are we?"
Daddy sighed. "It is true. We are going to do it right now. But we're going to sedate them first. Go see Aaron for the last time, I'm going to finish with him first. Then Leo. Then ourselves. End of it."
"I have a better idea."
"No. You have a stupid idea," Daddy deadpanned, gesturing Lou to leave. "I don't want to hear it. We don't have time."
"Why don't we just let the police come and end this? I mean it's either this or we kill everyone like you want." Lou shrugged, pursing his lips. "I'm pretty sure it's obvious which one of us has the stupid idea here."
"Right. And let them take our boys away from us. Lou, don't even try. What I said is what we're going to do. That's it."
"No way."
Daddy turned until he looked at Lou. His eyes were dark as always but this time sparks of sadness glimmered through like lights flickering in a dim room. "What are you gonna do about it? Tell me one thing you can do to stop this."
I can stall for time, Lou thought.
"Dom, just think about it again. If we kill them, we're basically worse than their fathers. Didn't we want to protect them?"
Daddy shook his head. "My boys aren't going back to that hell. And we are protecting them by killing them."
"You realize the police aren't idiots and they're going to notice the boys' old scars and figure out they've been abused before, right? I mean, I'm sure their fathers will get busted too," Lou reasoned. At this point, he wasn't only stalling for police to come, he was trying to enforce the trembling grasps of sanity he'd come to into Daddy's mind as well. "We've done a lot of wrong things. We don't need to become murderers on top, Dom. We... we can still be fixed; you still have a chance to be normal."
"It's not just about their fathers, Lou. It's about everything out there; you think it's easy? There are horrible people everywhere. No one's going to treat my babies like they should be treated. They're too fragile to go back there. They're too delicate."
"No. The last time I checked, you had Aaron in an armlock and you slammed his face right into the wall. Not sure if you can talk about treating him well, Dom." Lou was sick of everyone there making Aaron sound like a delicate flower when the boy had his strength—he could fend for himself more than they'd portrayed him for so long as the weak little boy who needed protection. "I'm sure Aaron can live out there. All his life he was abused by his father, and he's still sane. How bad can the world be for him? It's not that terrible."
"Aha? And what about Leo?"
"Oh, don't worry about Leo." Lou laughed mockingly. "We're probably gonna see him in the asylum with us because we messed his mentality up more than his dad did!"
"Stop letting Aaron brainwash you, Lou! Stop listening to everything he says! My babies aren't going back, with their fathers or not. It's not happening."
"Dom, I've been out there. It's not that bad! They can handle themselves."
"You've been out there?" Daddy snorted. "You think it's not that horrible? That's because you've seen nothing! That's because I protected you from everything horrible in the world! That's because I lost my mind trying to keep you away from harm and all the horrible crap everyone does out there. You haven't seen anything, Lou. I was the one who took all the blows for you." Daddy's voice simmered down until he was left with quiet words, and Lou recoiled for a second. "But I don't regret it, Lou. I'd take the blows for you and protect you from everything all over again if I have to. I'd rather lose my sanity than lose my brother. Do me a favor, Lou. For the sake of everything I did to you, for everything I protected you from; let this happen, let's just all die. Please, Lou. Please."
These words were the genesis. The beginning. They were what kept Lou under restrain. In this hierarchy, he stood on the lowest level. He was a side-kick, always been, the little boy with broken wings who'd been fostered because he couldn't keep his shit together.
Rebellion was a long-lost subject. Lou never found it in him to betray his own brother. Not after everything. Not after Dominic had taken all the blows for him, not after he'd protected him from everyone and everything. Not after he'd saved him. When he'd remember the past, he'd feel like he was in no position to talk and protest. He'd always known he could never fight back.
But now, it was getting tiring.
"Dom, you can't keep doing that," Lou mumbled. "I appreciate you protected me, I appreciate that you did everything to keep me safe, but stop reminding me of it every time! Do you think it doesn't kill me? It kills me that you destroyed yourself to protect me. It kills me that you lost your sanity just trying to protect me. That's why I always shut up. And you know that, don't you? You've always known how powerless I feel and you used it. You and Cara."
Lou heaved in a breath, and suddenly the air that he inhaled felt like thorns and nails that scratched and tore at his insides until they tumbled into his lungs. "I don't agree with this anymore, Dom. I want this to end, for Aaron and Leo's sake. For our sake; we can still get better. We can get help."
Daddy stared at Lou softly for a while, moved by the speech. Then something in him sparked, like a realization hitting his brain until his shoulders tensed. He glanced at his watch, then glared at Lou.
"Lou, I know what you're doing. You're stalling. Get out of my way. I need to finish this before they come."
Daddy pushed past him, but Lou grabbed his arm and pulled him back.
"This is not happening."
Daddy yanked his arm from Lou's grip, then stared at him harshly. He towered above him, his eyes like swords that pierced into Lou's. The air slowly seeped out through his nose, ramming against Lou's face before his lips moved and he spoke:
"You know that we're all going to die, right? Me, you, Cara, the boys. So if you're going to keep doing this shit, it wouldn't hurt if you die first, okay?"
Daddy pushed Lou back, and watched as his chest deflated like he'd surrendered. Lou nodded at him, his eyes narrowed with what looked like resentment yet was nothing more than hurt and pain. Lou knew he lost his brother now.
"Alright," Lou said. "Alright. I'm gonna see Aaron before you kill him. Thanks a lot for everything, Dom."
And Lou moved back, heading to the living room where Aaron sat. Lou curled his fingers around the knob, yet before he could twist it and push the door in, he heard a trembling squeak of his name echo from behind, and he looked back to find Daddy still standing in his spot.
"I'm sorry, Lou," Daddy whispered into the distance separating them. His voice shook. Lou could see a last, quivering, precarious particle of sanity sparkle in his eyes, and he knew that he wasn't capable of hating him. "I'm sorry it's going to end that way."
"I regret trusting you, Dom. I can't hate you, but I wish I never trusted you like an idiot, I wish never I never trusted you blindly."
Lou turned and walked into the room, closing the door behind. And as soon as he'd stepped in, he saw Aaron standing there with his eyes swamped with worry and his face contorted into a questioning expression. Lou sighed sadly, scratching the back of his neck before he spoke.
"Um... we have a problem, Aaron. A big problem."
"What's going on?"
"So basically the police somehow found us, and they're around the outer woods. I think it would need like ten minutes for them to come—" Lou paused as he watched the hope fill Aaron's face, and he dreaded having to continue pouring out the trouble ahead. "But now my brother wants us all to die. You and Leo, and us."
"What?" Aaron's heart dropped. He cleared his threat, swallowing. "We can't let this happen. Leo can't die," he said, voice panicky. "We need to, like... stall or something until the police come—"
Aaron stopped when he realized he was using a collective pronoun which placed him and Lou on the same side, even though they weren't, and he slowly looked up at him, as if questioning his opinion about the situation. "Lou... you're not going to... You don't want to kill us, right?"
"I tried to stall for time, but he wasn't having it. He realized what I was trying to do, and he wants to start right now." Lou looked at Aaron; the surprise arched his dark brows up, and the muscles of his jaw were so slack his lips parted.
"You don't want this to happen... you're okay with police coming for you?" Aaron said.
"I mean... I guess I am? I... I can't do that to my nephews. I'm not a killer." Lou frowned to himself as he thought it over. He'd be going against his own brother, rebelling against everything he'd been brought to and everything they'd planted in him, with this, but it felt like the right thing to do; he knew he still had a chance at healing from everything and becoming normal, becoming a free young man who could go out instead of lock teenagers and force them to act like babies. He couldn't convince himself that what they'd been doing was right anymore. Like he took off the lenses they'd forced on him, retrieving part of his own opinion. His own vision.
"Thanks. That's... great? Now we need to get Leo here. What if he kills him first?" Aaron frowned, and for a second he wondered if he could trust Lou at all. "I'd rather die than let Leo die."
"No. He thinks you're too sneaky. He wants to finish with you first, because he doesn't want you coming up with something. So right now all we can do is wait for him to come and distract him." A part of Lou hated that he was conspiring with his nephew against Dominic. Betraying him... breaking his word. But as he looked at Aaron, who'd put his hopes of survival with his guidance, he forced himself to continue. "Unless he comes in and directly sedates us both. And trust me, he's strong enough to do it to both of us at once."
"You said around ten minutes for the police to come? We can do it. We can live until then. We need to either knock that psycho unconscious, or we need to run outside to the police with Leo, if you have keys to the front doors. If not, we should lock ourselves here... wait." Aaron looked at the door and realized there was no key. It had been removed. "We can't lock ourselves here. We need to get out of here, get Leo and lock ourselves in a room. Anywhere away from your brother. That way he can't reach us. And I'm sure by the time we finish all this shit the police would be here already."
"I don't have the keys to the front doors. They took them away from me."
"Oh... okay, so no running out. Whatever we do, the important thing is to live until police come."
"Right—" Lou hadn't managed to get the word fully past his lips when they heard strange noises emit from outside the room; something squealed against the floor as it was dragged forwards, and then it thumped against the door
"Oh, no." Lou gave Aaron a look and hurried toward the door, jamming his shoulder into it countless time but coming to no avail. "He blocked the door. I can't even break! He's probably getting the sedations now."
Lou turned to Aaron. Fate set in. They knew. They'd either get killed or the police would come before it'd happen. A game of time and luck, nothing to be done.
"Uh... I'm pretty sure you realize it's over now. Maybe we're going to die, maybe the police are going to save you last minute. Either way. I need to tell you something," Lou said. "I'm sorry about everything. I'm sorry about all the humiliation and the pain we gave you. I'm sorry I didn't know how to make you feel better in your breakdown. Trust me when I say that if the days go back, I'd never even do this. Never. Now come give your uncle a last hug. Whatever happens, I'm sure I'm never seeing you again."
He gave Aaron a one-armed hug, and his heart broke when he didn't bother to hug back. But he understood why he wouldn't. Lou pulled back, smiling as much as he could bring himself to midst awful situation. He couldn't believe this was the last time he'd ever talk to Aaron, that whatever was going to unfold—either death or police—it all led to the same departure.
"You know that I love you, yeah? You and Leo are the best nephews ever." Lou's voice almost cracked, but he managed to keep it together. "And thanks for being the way you are. Thanks for making me realize this is wrong. At least it turns out I have a little sanity left."
Aaron nodded silently; he didn't find a single word at the base of his throat to speak, and as he stood there, the situation sank in and the anxiousness filled his lungs. He wasn't sure what he should be feeling; a part of him wept when he realized he didn't get the chance to see Leo for the last time, another part dreaded the pain of death and another was shocked at the abrupt pace in which everything had suddenly gone tumbling downhill—he'd never gotten the time to process.
The pulsating rings of the sirens rang in the air, as if they'd drawn closer. Aaron's eyes widened. He strode towards the window and peeked down, only to find police officers fanned out below. With his fist, he banged the glass pane, waving and shouting for them to see him. The officers noticed him up, and they hurried.
Just then, Aaron heard some squealing and scraping behind the door; whatever was blocking it had been removed, but before either of them could race towards it and break out, it flung open, and Daddy barged in, knife in hand.
It was like everything happened in such a disorienting rapid blur that neither Aaron nor Lou had the chance to fight it: fast movement and harsh, strong shoving from Daddy until Lou was forcefully standing against the wall with Aaron pushed in front of him.
"Lou, do me a favor for everything I did for you. I know that now you think this is wrong or whatever shit but please, we already did it. It happened. You can't back out. You were part of this all along, you can't act like the hero now. Let's finish this like we started it. I can't find the sedations. I'm going to get sleeping pills and I need to do something important real quick before we..." Daddy placed the knife in Lou's hand, closing his fingers around the handle before guiding his arm around Aaron until the knife was pressed against the front of his neck. He forced the position, but Lou struggled and tried moving the blade away from Aaron's neck.
"Lou, I'm going to get the pills. If the police come in, kill him. One slash and it'll be all over. It'll hurt but not as much as he's going to be hurt if he goes back. They can't take him away from us, they can't—"
Something crashed; a dull echo shot up from below, and they felt like the polished tiles beneath their feet quivered with the effect. Then came thumps. They could hear the hasty, furious thumping of several feet beneath them, on the first floor.
"Police here! Nobody move!"
Aaron's heart dropped with the terror and hope all at the same time; he squeezed his eyes shut and just prayed fervently that they'd get there before he and Leo would get killed. He tried for a second to get away from Lou, but his arm didn't move and the knife remained against his neck even as Daddy left and hurried towards the door—as if Lou was shocked—cursing and mumbling frantically under his breath.
"Forget about the pills, Lou. Do it. Kill him. There's no time—"
As soon as Daddy tried locking the door, it was pushed back open his way and the wood slammed into his nose, sending him fumbling back as the three police officers with guns in their hands barged in; they did swift work of cornering Daddy and cuffing his hands after quite some struggle; he put up a strong fight, elbowing and kicking here and there. But eventually the three armed professionals overpowered, and they cuffed him. Aaron had watched with shaky breaths; he wasn't surprised Daddy needed three to take him down.
Then fourth police officer came in, the barrel of her gun pointed at Lou as she took in the knife pressed hard against Aaron's neck; she knew one swipe and he'd drop dead, so she kept her distance.
"Put the knife down and let the boy go."
"Don't listen. She won't do anything with the knife on his neck," Daddy mouthed to Lou. "If you ever loved me, Lou. If you ever just slightly appreciated everything I did for you. Remember that I lost my mind protecting you. Don't fail me, Lou, please don't fail me. Do it."
Lou's heart raced. He couldn't feel his limbs anymore as he drowned in his own chaos, couldn't even lower the knife or move at all. He wanted to, but he couldn't—the hesitation surprised Lou himself, because he hadn't expected to even think twice about it; he thought it'd be easy now that he was sure the entire situation was wrong. He thought it'd be easy to let his brother down for the sake of what he realized was right.
But he hadn't expected that look on Daddy's face to eat him up entirely, to gnaw at his heart and claw at his bones. If you ever loved me. Of course Lou loved him even though he knew that he shouldn't after all that he'd done, but he couldn't find it in him to despise him. Lou hadn't expected the words he'd lastly said to rattle his focus, pulling at the frayed threads of his emotions.
"Kill him, Lou," Daddy urged. "I'll never forgive you if you don't. Never."
The officer flicked her wrist impatiently. "We can shoot if you don't drop the knife."
"Wait, not now!" A small part of Aaron trusted that Lou wouldn't do it. He tried glancing at him. "He's trying to change your mind. He's playing with your emotions. Don't fall for it Lou. You're better than that. You're better than becoming a murderer. Please."
Lou's head throbbed with the conflict. His brother's voice from one side, the same one that had always assured him in his childhood . But then came his nephew's voice, so sad, so pleading, so helpless. Aaron—the boy they'd hurt, and Lou knew that they had, and he knew that he shouldn't kill him. He didn't even want to kill him. So why couldn't he drop the knife?
Lou knew why. What took time was gathering the guts to express betrayal, not to decide if he wanted Aaron to live. Of course he wanted him to live. Dropping the knife meant breaking a promise, it meant rebellion. After so long, finally breaking free and freeing along two other innocents.
Two sides clashed in Lou. One trying to overpower. Brother, nephew. Insanity, sanity. Appreciation, betrayal. Confinement, freedom. Caught in a web of owing and wanting. Wanting the right but owing the wrong.
Lou could end it all. He knew he could. For a final time, he thought of Dom. Safety and protection. Then he thought of his nephews: one so innocent he didn't even understand the situation and the other whose neck was just against the blade in his hand, whose life was just about gathered entirely in the palm of his hand.
He let these two sides sink. Today he'd chose. Today it was his choice. That hadn't been possible years ago. Choice had never been a choice for him.
And then the storm ended, the hurricane melted, the fire sizzled, the embers died.
And the final battle between years of insanity and straining sanity settled.
All it had lasted was a mere second for the police and Aaron and Daddy, but Lou felt like it'd been blasting for several lifetimes in his head.
Lou's eyes dropped to the floor. His lips barely moved, and the word could barely be heard:
"I'm sorry."
A part of Aaron trusted that Lou wouldn't kill him, but he braced himself for death regardlessly.
*_*_*_*_*_*_*
I remember when I wrote this chapter back in 2018, I said in the a/n that i wasn't proud of it...it's 2020 and yup still the same feeling lmfao. Anyways sorry for the late update! was a little busy.
Thank you for reading/commenting/voting!! Every single one of all these means the world to me. Thank you so much for everything.