jisung was really close to passing out.
chenle came to his room showing him tickets. it was a ticket for the carnival not far from their house. but it wasn't what's bothering jisung. it was the number of tickets.
six.
six tickets.
no matter how much he wanted to say no, he couldn't. he knew how expensive those tickets are. the fact that chenle bought it himself, with his own money. jisung didn't even know where he got those money.
chenle? the one who begs jisung to buy him ice cream? the one who whenever they go out asks jisung to pay? it's not that jisung doesn't have the money about those, but it's just, those tickets where nothing compared to those treats.
also, six tickets means all of them.
with renjun and jaemin.
chenle also told him that he wanted all of them to hang out before he leaves again, considering anytime soon his parents might pick him up.
how could jisung say to no to that?
jisung would be heartless if he says no to that.
which he is not.
so here he is right now. standing close as possible between chenle and jeno. his heart beating fast, and hands shaking. that didn't get unnoticed by chenle, so he held jisung hand, "don't worry, i'm here." and chenle knows too well that there are eyes watching. especially that person radiating jealousy.
renjun couldn't help it.
no matter how much he says to himself that they're just friends, he couldn't help it. they way chenle taps on jisung when he laughs, the way chenle clings to jisung when they were inside the hunted house, and the way chenle stayed and held jisung's hands the whole time while they ride the roller coaster since jisung was scared to ride it. it wasn't all just chenle. jisung did some parts too. when jisung did chenle's shoelaces saying they older might trip. when chenle almost fell when jaemin playfully pushed him. and renjun's favorite, when jisung wiped the corner of chenle's mouth. it gets on his nerves. he felt like jumping from the top of the roller coaster they rode. renjun was so close on doing it. thank god jeno made sure that his seatbelt was properly worn.
of course he was seated with jeno. it's not that he doesn't like jeno, and he knew it's impossible that jisung would ride with him right now considering their situation, but there's this tiny-little hope in him that jisung just made sure that chenle is safe then he'd go beside renjun. it was so small yet it gave him huge impact.
i should just enjoy this, renjun sighs. he came to have fun, not to hurt himself.
jisung wasn't actually familiar with the rides. so he just went wherever chenle goes. not like they split into groups anyway, they decided to just stay togther and experience everything together.
chenle told him that he wanted to try everything, so when jisung saw a human size claw machine, jisung dragged chenle over there. it was just like the small claw machine. the difference is a person will be the one to act as the claw. while the other person stays out side and do the controls.
chenle said he wanted to be the claw so he ran toward the machine that would act as the arm, while jeno does the controls since jisung said he'll wait chenle over the entrance inside the machine.
there are various of things to get, but chenle's aim was the mystery box. he pointed at it so jeno would know where to drop him.
with the team work they had, chenle was able to get the mystery box, despite of it being heavy.
they decided to open it when they get home, since they were also going to have sleepover at jisung's. chenle volunteered to be the one to bring the box at the car, but before he leaves, he pulled jeno with him.
that leaves them...
four...
when did mark and jaemin leave?
apparently, chenle gave jaemin a wink before leaving. jaemim received the message, so while the two were busy watching the chenle and jeno disappear in the dark, jaemin held mark arms and quietly pulled him away before the two notices them.
jisung received a text from mark, went to buy snacks, meet you guys at the entrance of ferris wheel.
renjun too from jaemin, take the moment while we buy snacks ;)
time passed by, it was awkward. renjun noticed jisung won't be taking any steps any time soon so he makes the first move, "they said to meet them at the ferris wheel, they're getting snacks," take the moment jaemin says, so he will.
"yea." jisung says, almost whispering.
"let's go?"
"yea" it's as if it's the only word jisung can say. it was nerve wrecking. it was more than what he felt when it was his first time to perform in front of many people.
renjun was there to calm him down,
but now he's the reason why he was feeling that way.
"what took you so long?" jaemin asks noticing renjun and jisung walks 6 feet away from each other, awkwardness surrounding them. jisung walks like there's a line that he cannot cross. while renjun walks like there's a thick barrier between them, put by jisung.
did they stood there that long? that jaemin and mark was already in the line along with snacks when they came?
mark went to jisung to gave him his snacks, "here," he hands out a paper bag, "chenle said they're still lining up, so we might go in first."
chenle was already back to the carnival? were they seriously standing there for a long time before went to their last stop?
take the moment my foot, renjun facepalms himself.
with a blink, mark and jaemin was gone again. they were on their way up. another chance for renjun to take.
"j-jisung," after weeks, months, and he hopes it doesn't become years, renjun finally mantioned jisung's name. he misses how the younger's name rolls on his tongue, "it's our turn."
jisung looks at the personnel who guides the customers. it was indeed their turn.
every steps jisung took felt heavy. after months of avoiding renjun, they were once again alone in one place. his nervousness going over him.
renjun noticed it. how the nervous the younger was. so when they finally settled inside, renjun automatically, surprisingly he still had it in him, sat beside jisung and helds his hands, "look at me jisung," jisung's eyes were swelling with tears. he was too caught of being alone with renjun the he forgot how heights scares him, "breathe with me okay?" jisung answers him with a nod. then, follows renjun's breaths.
as they slowly approach the top, jisung's heart hammers faster and faster.
renjun cradles jisung's head on his chest, making him listen to his own hearbeat. he didn't know if it'll work this time, but he hopes it does.
slowly, jisung's shaking started to calm down. so renjun starts talking, in hopes that jisung will listen, "you know, tinkerbell visted me the other day." renjun says, "i couldn't visit them anymore, she came to me instead." he says as he rubs softly the younger's back, "she asked me if there was a problem... i don't how she does that, always comes when needed without even calling out for her," sniffs were now stopped so renjun thought jisung was asleep already, but still he continued, "so i told her." he continues "i was hurt when you started avoiding me. i thought you didn't like me anymore," renjun's eyes were now watering, "but i tried understanding you. thinking how much pain i must have caused you. my pain was nowhere near it... so i asked tinkerbell what should i do. she asked me back," he paused for a second "in your situation what do you think jisung would think? i answered her how considerate you were, yet so dense. i deeply thought about it. so i thought i should ask you personally. jisung-ah, why did you start avoiding me?"
there was silence once again.
he thought jisung was really asleep, then suddenly a deep breath was heard, "i-i," jisung stutters out, "i didn't wa-nna force y-ou to like me ba-ck." jisung says between his breaths
renjun nods, now understanding jisung. "but jisung, how do you say that you were forcing me? was it because i didn't tell you that time?" which the younger answered with a small nod. a soft sigh was heard from renjun, "jisung, i didn't tell you because i didn't wanna set your hopes up. what if this didn't happen? and i was still a fairy? then you'll be stuck liking a small creature who can't even give hugs."
"it doesn't matter as long as it's you." it came out as a whisper but renjun heard it clearly. and if renjun could melt, he would.
"jisung, i'm sorry for hurting you but i would be lying if i'd say i don't like you back. so please stop avoiding hyung and let hyung shower you with the love you deserve." he felt jisung snuggle further on his chest, his face heating up. "listen, jisung. look at hyung,"
jisung lifts up his head from renjun's chest and faced the older. he noticed how renjun's eyes were red and some tear streaks on his cheeks. "why are you crying, hyung?" jisung says as he wipes renjuns cheeks with his thumb.
renjun let out a small laugh, also wiping jisungs tears. instead of answering jisung, he looked at the younger's eyes, his hands holding jisung's shoulder, "i just really, really love you" renjun says. he makes sure he was saying it while looking at the younger's eyes.
"i love you too," they smile at each other.
renjun placed his hands on jisung's neck and leaned in to give him a kiss on his forehead. jisung melt at his hold, feeling renjun's smile on his skin. he felt so full, so much love.