artwork for this fic by glossierghost (find her on instagram and tumblr!!)
***
The car trip to New York was almost two hours including traffic. While Kylo had never driven a car before, he offered to be the one to drive so they could leave early and Rey could sleep in the car. He used his powers to help him drive and thanked the fact that he didn't really need sleep so he could pull this nice gesture for Rey.
Kylo Ren wanted this long weekend to go perfectly. If all went according to plan, he would confess his true feelings for Rey. He had a couple of activities he knew Rey would appreciate stored away and had found a beautiful hotel room for them to stay in that was luxurious and spacious.
Rey was going to get the royal treatment that befitted her over the next couple of days, and Kylo couldn't wait to spoil his princess rotten. If anyone deserved it, it was Rey. She was always looking after others and working hard at the First Order. It was time someone treated her for a change and Kylo planned to do just that.
He looked over at the sleeping form next to him and smiled. It had only been a couple of minutes into the car ride, they weren't even technically out of Philly yet, and Rey had passed out almost immediately. She had a travel pillow around her neck and was making soft snuffling noises, hugging her pillow tight to her body and angled away from him and towards the door. Kylo tucked some of her hair back behind her ear and she shifted slightly but didn't move otherwise. Kylo chuckled to himself as he thought back to how she had teased him earlier, and she had the audacity to call me a deep sleeper.
Kylo knew what she was talking about, though. Even though he didn't need sleep, he felt as if the more time he spent bonded to Rey the more comfortable he became in his human-like cage. He slept more and ate more, and consequently also slept better when it was next to Rey. Kylo briefly wondered if Hux and Lilith ever slept together as a relaxing pastime. It wouldn't be completely out of left field for demons, but it would be more of an activity than a necessity. Kylo found he enjoyed dreaming and then waking up next to his dream girl.
Kylo continued driving for some time, letting his powers do the work as he let his mind wander, accompanied only by the quiet noises that would escape from Rey every now and then. When they neared New York, Kylo put his hand on Rey's knee and gave it a light squeeze. He bit back a snort when she didn't stir, tightening his grip on her knee for a moment.
"W-what's goin' on?" Rey asked, her eyes drowsy and heavy with sleep, squinting against the bright light of the morning sun.
"We're in New York, sweetheart," Kylo drawled, smiling over at her. That got Rey's attention as she rolled her neck and stretched to wake herself.
"Oh, goody!" she beamed at him once she was properly situated in her seat again. "What's our plan?"
"I think we should go get some breakfast. Check-in doesn't start until eleven so we can kill some time that way. What do you think?"
"Sounds perfect!" Rey answered, her stomach letting out a low grumble in agreement. They both laughed and Kylo reached to grab Rey's hand, lacing their fingers together, always thankful at how easily his laughter and smiles formed when it came to Rey.
"Anywhere in particular that you want to go or want to eat?" Kylo asked, running his thumb over Rey's knuckles as she looked out the window and pondered.
In the end she shrugged, replying, "Anywhere is fine as long as they have good coffee and some food."
"Done and done," Kylo complied. "Find something for us? I'm good with everything you said."
Rey hummed in response as she searched for a place, settling on a cozy rustic brunch place. She navigated them over to her pick, admiring the warm feeling of the restaurant when they entered, so inviting compared to the bitter cold that had picked up outside.
They savoured bottomless coffees and a big brunch, picking several small things so they could taste the menu and share. When Rey ordered a hot chocolate with whipped cream and came away from sipping it with a frothy mustache, Kylo kissed her and tasted the sweetness of the drink mixed with Rey. He almost considered telling her he loved her right then and there before he thought against it.
As silly and dramatic as it may seem, Kylo wanted to be alone with Rey when he told her. He wanted it to be intimate and special. Kylo felt so overcome with emotions when he thought about Rey that he felt anything less would be a disservice to her. He needed to tell her and show her what she meant to him, just in case his words weren't enough.
***
They finished up their food and went off to check-in to the hotel. Kylo had some things planned throughout but mostly it was an open weekend for whatever Rey wanted to do. He told Rey as much when they entered the room, settling their things into the entrance hallway while Rey walked into the room to check it out.
"Kylo Jacen Ren. You didn't," she breathed, ogling the large room before her. The room was larger than her apartment and came complete with a kitchen, living room, and several doors leading away from the sitting room which she only assumed were bedrooms and bathrooms.
"I did," Kylo grinned, delighting in the reaction that Rey was having, feeling the excitement buzzing from her through their connection. It was electrifying.
"Oh, god! I have to go see the bathroom! I bet the tub is beautiful!" Rey shrieked, setting off on a little sprint towards the nearest door to try to find the main bedroom and master bath. Kylo chuckled at his girl, amused by her priorities.
He followed languidly behind her when he saw her finally enter a room he assumed was the master bedroom. Kylo went into the room, and then strolled into the bathroom, finding Rey fully dressed and sitting in the bathtub, as joyful as a little kid during their birthday.
"It. Has. Jets! Kylo, get in here. It's basically a swimming pool, babe!" Rey squealed, waving him over.
Kylo settled himself across from her and found that he could stretch out his long frame without bothering Rey too much. Rey's tub in her apartment was big enough for the both of them, but Kylo often had to bend his knees to fit properly and he was always worried that Rey was uncomfortable with all the room he would take up. She never complained but it didn't stop the thought from crossing his mind.
"Hmmm, we might need to upgrade your tub, Little One," Kylo mused, his eyes shining with mirth.
"Hey, I love my tub! It's cozy!" Rey defended, sticking her tongue out at him. Kylo grabbed her foot next to his leg and gave it a playful squeeze in retaliation.
"I suppose it is," Kylo conceded, moving his hand up Rey's leg and stroking her calf.
"Do you want to settle in or do you want to do something?" he asked, working out the knots he felt under Rey's jeans as he spoke.
"Honestly this feels pretty good right now," Rey murmured, her eyes slipping closed as she relaxed into his touch.
"Well, I think I can do you one better, sweetheart," Kylo said, giving her calf a little slap as he stood up and outstretched his hand to Rey so she could stand up, too.
"I've booked us massages for whenever we want them at the spa here. I think a professional would probably do a better job than I could," Kylo revealed before adding in with a wink, "And if they miss any spots, I'll be sure to get them later."
***
The couple came back to the room smelling of orchid and jasmine, blissed out and sleepy. Kylo suggested they watch a movie and order some take out for lunch. It was Thursday night and the performance was on Saturday night. They would stay until Sunday after lunch, when they would head back later in the day.
Kylo had disclosed some of his ideas for their long weekend, including ice skating, champagne and chocolate tasting at a French chocolatier store, and generally exploring the city to see what they found that would entertain them. Kylo had casually mentioned reading about this one special cafe that had hot chocolate with a marshmallow in the shape of a flower in the center. Rey had looked at him in awe after that, impressed by the amount of work and research he had put into the weekend and the amount of care he showed in his planning. It was clear that Kylo had planned with Rey in mind and had taken some pages from those romantic comedies he always denied enjoying.
This afternoon and night was for relaxing and basking in each other's company, though. Once they had ordered their food they snuggled up on the bed and they clicked on the tv, content to just be with one another. Kylo had his arms wrapped around Rey, bringing her close to lay on his chest. He leaned down to kiss her temple and breathed in the delicious scent of the massage oil on her skin.
"We have to go back and buy that later. It smells amazing, Little One," Kylo murmured against her skin, his nose and lips still pressed against her.
"I won't argue with that. I saw some bath oils and salts, too. We should pick that up and make good use of that tub," Rey suggested, sinking into Kylo's warm hold. She was so relaxed she could just fall asleep where she was.
***
Before she knew it, Rey was being roused awake for lunch, having actually fallen asleep in Kylo's arms. They ate their lunch in companionable silence and Rey proposed going out and trying to find some holiday themed attractions and lights to look at tonight before going out to eat. Looking around at the kitchen in the room, Rey also mentioned that they could make gingerbread cookies and houses.
"You want to bake? On vacation?" Kylo asked, confused.
"It's not just baking, Kylo. It's decorating and creating and then getting to eat delicious cookies after," Rey laughed. Kylo looked doubtful but had to admit that he wouldn't mind snacking on some cookies throughout the weekend. Rey had made him a few gingerbread lattes since December had rolled around and Kylo had enjoyed the spicy cinnamon intermingled with the sweetness of the brown sugar.
"Whatever you want, sweetheart. This weekend is for you," he answered, bringing Rey into his arms and laying a kiss on the top of her head. Rey wiggled closer into his hold, breathing in his scent and appreciating the heat of his body as if he were her very own furnace.
After some time, the two got ready to face the bitter cold in search for some holiday fun, bundled up in sweaters and coats. It was mid afternoon by the hour they set out, so Kylo suggested they could go to the winter village in Bryant Park to look over some of the holiday shops and decorations, then stick around for lights and dinner before stopping by the grocery store and then heading home.
They roamed around the kiosks and perused all of the artisanal crafts, foods, and trinkets the vendors had to offer. When they passed one or two tents that had gingerbread cookies, Kylo tried to convince Rey that buying pre-made cookies would be faster. Rey quickly shut him down, however, and let him know that the most fun and memorable part of gingerbread cookies during the holidays included the baking and decorating together. Kylo rolled his eyes but conceded, eyeing the cookies as Rey dragged him away.
As they came to a section full of bath and body products, Rey immediately started shoving products into Kylo's face, asking his opinion on different scents so they could take some bath oils and salts to try out in their luxurious bathtub. Kylo ended up buying a lot more products than Rey approved of, but he reassured Rey he had plenty of baths planned in their future. Rey had truly introduced Kylo to some of the finer things in life, and after years of being stuck in a dusty second hand shop, Kylo was more than willing to indulge as much as possible considering he had the time and means. Especially if it meant more alone time with a very naked Rey, which if Kylo was being completely honest was more than just a fun perk.
They wandered around for a while before getting a couple of things to eat from different vendors, sitting down on a bench and relishing in the different foods. As the evening settled upon the park, the lights began to be turned on, turning the park into a colorful twinkling attraction. Once they were done with their food, Kylo took Rey's hand and they walked around the park that was now shrouded in the magic of the lights.
Rey convinced Kylo to stand with her under the tree for some photos, and as much as Kylo pretended to protest, he was secretly glad to have the memories saved to look back on. The other couple who had snapped their pictures complimented them on being such a cute and attractive couple, which made a blush spread on their cheeks that was unrelated to the cold wind before they exchanged the favor and took some pictures of the other couple.
Before they headed home they stopped by the grocery store to get some ingredients for baking the next day, deciding to leave it for the next morning so they could relax and doze. The two fell asleep in each other's arm, both blissfully content and with the unspoken words of love on their lips.
***
The next day, Friday, was full of adventures and first times. Rey woke Kylo up after letting him sleep in for a bit while she prepared everything for their baking. They ordered some breakfast before starting on their task, with Kylo listening patiently and carefully to Rey's instructions as they mixed, stirred, and whisked the makings of the dough. Kylo couldn't resist flicking some of the mix onto Rey, inciting a small food fight that ended in plenty of giggles and flour-y kisses. While the dough was chilling they ate their breakfast, which had come with perfect timing, choosing to sit and eat before they finished up and then cleaned up.
Once they were ready to make the shapes of the cookies, Rey directed Kylo to cut some out to be gingerbread people and some to be the makings of the house. They had bought plenty of cookie cutters, decoration candies, and frosting in preparation for the finished product. When the cookies went into the oven they ran to the shower, with Rey chastising Kylo that he better keep his hands to himself if he didn't want burnt cookies. Kylo pouted but didn't put up a fight, the promise of cookies and attention from Rey later being enough motivation.
When the cookies were done and cooled, the two set about making a small gingerbread village with some people and the house. They had baked too much for just the two of them to eat over the weekend, but they'd bought some tupperware to be able to bring cookies home to their friends. The decorating session ended up with more candy snuck by and eaten by Kylo than what ended up on the actual cookies, with Rey pretending to be mad before dissolving into a fit of laughter at the sweet toothed monster she had created from all his visits to the First Order.
Their afternoon was filled with ice skating and teasing and Kylo showing off on the ice as he pulled Rey along. Rey was content to be led along by Kylo's better ice skating skills, unaware that they were purely the work of his supernatural magic instead of innate to Kylo considering this was his first time on the ice. He spun her around and dipped her and did all types of tricks as he tugged her along, doing anything that would elicit a full smile or giggle from Rey.
When they finished up they went to go get the special hot chocolate Kylo had mentioned - it contained a flowering marshmallow that opened up and blossomed once placed in the hot chocolate to reveal a small bonbon inside. Kylo beamed at Rey's awe-filled surprise and wide eyes when her marshmallow unfolded into a flower, deciding that the wait they had endured to try out the popular treat was more than worth it for that reaction.
After their chocolate-y treat they went home to get ready and Kylo took Rey out to dinner, enjoying the setting of a low-lit dinner that was romantic and intimate. The restaurant had given them a private area per Kylo's request, which made it seem like they were having a quiet dinner at home in just a fancier setting. Kylo let Rey know their plan for tomorrow which involved the champagne and chocolate tasting, more pampering, and the event that she had been looking forward to, The Nutcracker performance.
The rest of their evening was filled with pillow talk and kisses, movies that were long abandoned in favor of conversing with one another and memorizing each other's every feature. Kylo felt a warmth in his heart as the love he held for Rey blossomed much like the marshmallow flower in the hot chocolate, feeling nervous and excited to share his feelings with her the following day after what he hoped would be a successful outing.
***
By the time they had to leave to go to see the ballet, Kylo was more than thankful for the champagne in his system and the relaxing spa day that he and Rey had had. He felt his heart beating out of his chest and his hands become clammy with the prospect of having to lay his feelings bare to the woman he loved, understanding now the full extent of the fear of rejection that accompanied such a vulnerable declaration. Rey sat next to him in the car completely unaware of his inner turmoil, content to hold his hand even though he was sure it was sweaty and gross, always happy to just be curled up by his side.
Kylo barely paid attention to the ballet, focusing more attention on Rey's hand on his thigh and her warm presence next to him and the comfort it gave him, wondering if he would have to endure time without that if she didn't feel the same way or if she stopped reciprocating those feelings once he confessed his next big secret.
On the way home, Kylo consciously had to stop from bouncing his knee from the anxiety coursing through him, trying to focus most of his efforts on Rey as she gushed about the performance and everything she loved about it. Every time that Rey mentioned she loved a certain dance, part of music, or costume and set design it made Kylo's uneasiness skyrocket, his mind going a million miles a minute as it raced with all the ways this could go so right or so wrong. Kylo's chest tightened at the thought of rejection as he looked out the window to distract himself, focusing on the view and on Rey and on everything he was thankful to have with her.
***
Once they had clambered out of the car and gotten to the hotel suite, Rey was determined to find out what had her boyfriend on the fritz. She turned to him tentatively once he shut the door and began to ramble, "Kylo, are you okay? You barely said a word this whole time and now you look like you want to stick your head in the blender or do literally anything else but be here. Are you having second thoughts about our relationship? Is this all too soon too fast-"
Rey was cut off by Kylo's strangled cry as he rushed to rectify the situation, "NO! Rey, no absolutely not! I'm not having any doubts about this, about us. I just-"
Kylo struggled with his hands in the air as he tried to think about how to phrase it, moving to run his hands through his hair, a sign of how nervous he was. "I just can't stop thinking about how much... about how much I love you, Rey, and it's eating me up because I haven't told you yet and I've been thinking this for a while," he finally squeaked out, unable to meet her eyes for fear of the rejection that may be facing him there.
Rey had to bite her lip to keep from rolling her eyes. Had this been it this whole time? Was he just nervous that she wouldn't feel the same? She would have to be an idiot to not love the man before her. Rey came closer to Kylo, taking in his head hung low and his eyes fixed on the floor, her big protector reduced to a small boy at the prospect of sharing his feelings. If only he knew how much I love him back, Rey thought, placing her hands on his chest as she stepped up to him.
She tilted his chin so that he was forced to meet her eyes, meeting those warm honeyed pools of his that had depths of emotion and feeling to them, full of worry and hesitation but love and hope as well. Rey smiled up at him, her smile reaching her eyes and filling her face as she gazed into the puppy dog eyes of the man before her. If he wasn't so distraught she would have teased him for his perfect pout. She could tell that that face was going to get her in trouble and she hoped that he wouldn't break her heart, as she prepared to hand it over to him willingly.
"Is that it, honey? That you love me?" she started, her voice soft and low as if she was talking to a scared animal. "Well, guess what? I love you, too, Kylo. I have for a while, I think."
Rey felt Kylo relax beneath her hands, his eyes searching her face for any sign of deception, taking in her earnest expression. When he had found her to be speaking truthfully, Kylo gave a small almost imperceptible nod of acceptance as his face broke out into a smile of its own, his dimples deepening and his eyes shining as his hands came to meet hers on his chest. He brought her hands to cup his face and then Kylo moved his hands to grab Rey's face and bring her in close, meeting her lips in a soft and sweet kiss. Rey closed her eyes and leaned into his touch, any worries she might have had about the relationship dissolving in that moment. Maybe he would break her heart and maybe he wouldn't, but for now this moment was their own and that was all that mattered.