I was shocked to the bones when Peter left the class immediately the bell rang for break the next day. All the speech I intended to give oozed out of me like steam.
I wondered what made me think he would agree to speak with me after treating him the way I did. I sank into my chair as I stared at the door in which Peter had left. I couldn't understand what I was feeling.
I had never felt this way before. It wasn't a feeling of disappointment. It was something greater. I sucked in my inner cheek and bit my lip. I felt like crying.
I picked up my books from my desk and shoved them into my bag. I would just go to the library as usual. Speaking with Peter was impossible. I should have known.
Peter walked at the moment I zipped my bag. He had a can drink on his hand and a snack on the other. My face lighted up the moment I saw him. I watched him walk to me with an expressionless look on his face. He looked indifferent.
I didn't like this side of Peter at all. I had only seen the jovial and friendly part. I never knew there was this other side to him.
"You said you wanted to speak with me."
"Yeah. I do. Can we please go somewhere else?" I asked and Peter shrugged.
I got to my feet and walked out with Peter tagging along. Some of our classmates had stopped to stare. It was still a mystery to me why people couldn't focus on their business. I had never stuck my nose in things pertaining to others so why can't they do so?
I didn't know where to go neither did I know where we could talk. I couldn't take him to the library. I didn't want to talk in the class either.
"Is there a quiet place we can go to? I don't know any." I turned to face him.
"How do you expect me to know?" He deadpanned.
"Yeah. . . You're right." I looked at my fingers.
"We could go to the rooftop," Peter said at last and my eyes widened.
"The rooftop?"
He looked at me strangely as he shook his head and led the way. To get there, we had to climb the sequel of staircases. I wondered why Peter didn't use the elevator.
I was worn out the moment we got to the rooftop. I heaved a deep breath and explored the area. I never knew such a place existed. It was just the perfect place to talk. Just one boy was standing in a corner and with the way he looked, I deemed he was thinking or meditating.
I could see outside the school's compound from the rooftop. It was such a magnificent sight as I stared at the roof of various houses next to my school. I felt like jumping down.
"I never knew this place existed," I said to Peter who had already taken a seat on the pavement.
"Do you think we're allowed here? Will we get into trouble for being here?" I looked around, admiring the landscape. I felt like touching the sky.
"Well! I've been here a couple of time and no one had said anything to me. " He shrugged.
"Why have you been here? It doesn't look like anything is interesting to do here." I stood in front of him.
"What do you want to tell me, Beatrice?" Peter ignored my question.
I sulked in my breath and sat down making sure to leave some reasonable distance between us.
"I wanted to thank you Peter. . .for coming to my rescue the other day. You might not understand the gravity of what you did but it meant a lot to me. After how I spoke to you, It's__"
"You're welcome. It wasn't a big deal." He stood up and turned to go.
"You said you've got me figured out, right? What if I told you, you only scratched the surface; that there are more to discover? You're right about my grandmother wanting me indoors but why does she want me indoors? Have you asked yourself why? Sit down Peter and let me tell you what you want to know."
Peter stood contemplating if he should sit or not. While he contemplated, I decided to begin my story.
"I was born out of wedlock. . ."
I told him how I had lived with my grandma all my life; how I wasn't allowed to make friends with anyone since they were all bad influence on me; how my grandma punished me if I flouted any of her rules; how I couldn't watch the television neither did I have a phone.
I went further to tell him how I was locked in the house with no one to talk to; how my grandma wanted to protect me from anything or person that could make me end up like my mother.
I explained to him why I had to run each time the closing bell rang. I told him the reason for my oversized clothing.
Finally, I informed him about the aftermath of his visit and all that it cost me.
Peter who had been standing all along sat down quietly as he listened to me with rapt attention. His jaw dropped immediately I told him about Ma Suzanne and how his unwelcome visit stole her job from her.
"That was why I spoke to you that way. I was so hurt and angry. Ma Suzanne was like my mother. She was my shield; my refuge. I took solace in her. Just her being present in the house comforted me and in a flash, like a snap of the finger, she was gone. All because she couldn't stand my suffering."
"My God! I didn't know. I just wanted to see and speak with you. I never knew it would result in this. If I did, I would have stayed away. I can't believe I took someone's job away. . . and. . .I got you punished for no reason. I. . .I didn't mean for such to happen. Oh my God!" Peter held his head as he stared at his feet.
"You didn't know so I can't hold it against you," I told him but he shook his head vehemently.
"I took an innocent woman's job from her. I took her away from you only because of my stupid adventure. I wanted to find out what mystery was tied around you. I never knew I was ruining someone's life and hurting you. God! What have I done?"
"Peter! Ma Suzanne will not have you condemn yourself instead she'd ask that you move on. That's what she told me also so please stop this. What had happened had happened. I didn't tell you all this so you can condemn yourself. I told you so you would know it wasn't my intention to disregard you the way I did.
"Actually, I don't entirely take everything I said back. I still stand on some of my words. The 'stay away from me' part. I seriously can't be seen around you. My Grandma would skin me alive if she finds out. Besides, I made a promise to her to stay away from you."
Peter's countenance fell. He tried to conceal it by looking away but I saw it anyway. I saw it clearly.
"How did you know where I lived?" I asked, hoping to change the subject and lighten the mood.
"I followed you home twice. I wanted to be sure it was truly your house. I found out that you ran straight to the gate and into your car each time the bell rang. This was strange so I decided to find out why you were always in a rush to go. I didn't believe it was home then; why would anyone be in a haste to return home?
"But when I saw your grandma drive out with you to a store close by and after I saw how she waited for you to get into the compound before driving out, I concluded she wanted you indoors. I never knew it was this worst though."
I nodded my head slowly and then decided to ask the question which had been on my mind for a while.
"Why are you so interested in me? There's nothing fun or— "
"I've been asking myself this same question for the past two weeks. I really don't know. Perhaps, because you're mysterious? You look strange and act strangely; sound strange too. I wanted to know the story behind you. I wanted to unravel the mystery. . . I guess I landed you into trouble and caused pain instead of —"
"It's fine, Peter. It's in the past."
The bell rang that instance and I stood up quickly.
"I guess that's all." I stared at him and turned to go but he held my hand and drew me back. I felt a slight tingle as I stared at his palm wrapped around my arm — not a girl's palm but a guy's.
"Can't we work something out? Like. . . We could still find a way, you know. . .to be friends."
"No Peter. We can't. My Grandma has eyes everywhere. I'm pretty sure she'd find out I am with you. Besides, I promised her."
"But this is an encasement."
"It's not an encasement, Peter. I'm not in a case." I slowly pulled my arms away. He didn't even seem to notice for he kept talking.
"Okay, it's confinement then. You're being caged and locked out of life. This is unfair. I understand your grandma is trying to protect you but this is extreme. I've always wondered why you looked so sad. Now I know why. I've caused my own measure of pain to you and I want to make up for it. I want to bring a smile and laughter to your face. I've never seen you smile neither have I heard you laugh."
Smile! Laugh! When last did I do any of those? I couldn't remember the last time I smiled. Nothing amused me anymore. There was nothing to amuse me. I didn't smile; not even on my birthday which was rarely celebrated.
All I got was a call from my mum and wishes then prayers from my grandma and the workers in my house. No friends! Nothing at all! My mother didn't send gifts; she never knew the gift that would enrage grandma. She sent some money for my upkeep instead — money grandma always sent back.
"There's no other way Peter. I wish there is." I turned on my heels and ran all the way to class. I could hear Peter's feet behind me but I didn't turn to look.