smoke | namgi

By vickie_org

122K 5K 2.8K

tw: smoking, college pregnancy, depression, body image issues, financial problems yoongi is left pregnant as... More

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thirty
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fifty
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eighty
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epilogue
thank you!

eight

2K 77 81
By vickie_org

tw! homophobic slur, slut shaming, body shaming

yoongi groaned as he heard his alarm, a small whine leaving his mouth. he stretched before he stood up, walking over to minji's clothing cabinet to get her ready for the day.

"minji, wake up" yoongi said, softly shaking the girl "m tired" minji said, hiding under the blanket. yoongi chuckled upon seeing that minji copied him "i know but you can sleep at jinnie's but first we have to change into pretty clothes" yoongi said, minji pouted and sat up "okay"

yoongi changed into his new uniform after getting minji out of her pj's and making her some eggs and cutting up some fruit.

he really hoped that the people at his new job were nice, his last job wasn't the best. they made fun of yoongi for having a daughter at 19 but luckily it didn't get worse than that.

-

yoongi carried the sleeping girl into seokjin's house, her backpack slung across his shoulder.

"thanks seokjin i appreciate it" yoongi said, letting out a sigh "no problem, take care" seokjin mumbled, closing his eyes again to sleep "i will"

-

yoongi instantly felt the employees' eyes on him as soon as he entered the restaurant "hello, i'm min yoongi, nice to meet you" the boy said, bowing a bit "fuck off, who hired this fat ugly bitch" one of the workers scoffed as he broomed, yoongi was taken back a bit "he can't say nothing, just admit it" the other worker said, yoongi felt like crying because he knew it was true. the boy grabbed his notepad and pen to start taking orders.

"hi, my name is yoongi, i'll be your server today. can i start you guys off with anything?" yoongi asked, showing a small smile. the people at the table said what they wanted and yoongi left to go get that.

yoongi groaned when one of the workers purposely spilled water on him. he didn't say anything though, he knew they would comment something bad again.

"i apologize for the wait, some water was spilled on me" yoongi said, setting down the drinks and bowing "it's fine, we're ready to order" a guy said, yoongi smiled and nodded, taking out his notepad and writing down what they said.

-

yoongi got to seokjin's house, trying his best to fake his smile when in reality he just wanted to cry and sleep the day away "how was your first day?" seokjin asked with a smile, yoongi forced a smile "it went well, i really l-liked it" yoongi said, seokjin stared at the boy, knowing something was wrong "what happened? don't lie, i know you like the back of my hand" seokjin said, yoongi gulped, taking a deep breath.

"i-i got there and a worker called me a fat ugly bitch, i-i know i gained weight because of minji b-but i thought i looked okay now because i lost the weight. i-i know im u-ugly. a-and then they threw water on me" yoongi cried into his hands, seokjin frowned and sat close to the boy, wiping his tears with his thumb "yoongi, i can't explain how beautiful you are. it shouldn't matter what others think of you, you need to think good of yourself. if you think bad about yourself, it's easier for you to believe bad comments. you are beautiful, what other people think is not your priority" seokjin said, grabbing a glass of iced coffee for yoongi.

"t-thanks hyung, i needed that" yoongi sniffled, minji stumbled into the kitchen with her sippy cup "appa sad?" minji asked, yoongi wiped his tears and set minji on his lap "just a bit, but it's okay" yoongi said, minji touched yoongi's wet cheeks "no more cry" minji said, yoongi felt like crying more when he heard his daughter say that "i-i'll try"

-

yoongi stood out his apartment door, taking a cigarette and lighting it up with his lighter. minji stared from a far, admiring yoongi. she wanted to be like yoongi.

"c-can i have one appa?" minji asked with innocent eyes, yoongi threw the cigarette on the ground and stepped on it "no baby, you should never do this. some things appa does are not for little kids" yoongi said, minji frowned, a bit confused "then why does appa do it?" minji asked, yoongi sighed "because of some reasons, don't worry about it. how about you make appa a drawing?" yoongi asked with a smile, minji nodded and ran inside the house.

yoongi sat outside for a bit, he was feeling a bit sad. sad that he was unententialy couraging bad things on to minji, sad that he was called bad comments, and sad that minji had to see him in a vulnerable state. he started thinking about it, it would sort of be trauma to minji. seeing her appa cry and isolatr himself from his own daughter but not being told why could be scary to the girl. he couldn't tell the girl about financial issues and mental health issues without minji worrying.

-

yoongi entered the apartment after crying outside for like 10 minutes, minji was drawing a flower with her crayons. yoongi bought the ones that were hard to break since minji broke things often.

"i like your flower" yoongi complimented, minji giggled "tank you appa!" minji said, coloring in the leafs "m like flowers" minji said, yoongi hummed "i'll buy some flowers so you can try to draw them"

yoongi started thinking about how minji had to go to school in a year, maybe even less "minji, what do you feel about the thought you have to go to school soon?" yoongi anxiously asked, minji hummed "scared, no jinnie, minnie, or appa" minji frowned, hugging yoongi and hiding her face in his chest "it'll be scary at first but you'll meet new people, good people" yoongi booped the girls nose "okay appa, love you"

-

xxx-xxx-xxxx

fat bitch from work?

yoongi

??

xxx-xxx-xxxx

don't act stupid, yk? im the person who spilled water on you

yoongi

oh yeah, what's up?

xxx-xxx-xxxx

just wanted to remind you you're ugly and so is your daughter

yoongi

1.) how do you know i have a daughter? 2.) you can talk shit about me but not my daughter, i won't hesitate to throw you in a trash bin <3

xxx-xxx-xxxx

the manager told us and i saw your phone light up, your wallpaper was you with her at a park

fuck your daughter, she's ugly just like you. you fucking slut, you're like 21 and already have a child AND she doesn't have another parent
(seen at 7:38PM)

leave me on seen you whore

yoongi

maybe consider my backstory? her 'dad' was BEGGING me to have sex with him and i didn't realize he didn't have a condom. he left when i told him the news. for the past two years, i have raised her by myself with little help, i love my daughter

xxx-xxx-xxxx

and you're a faggot
(seen at 7:42PM)

-

yoongi started crying which alerted minji "appa no cry!" minji hugged yoongi, but the boy kept crying. he couldn't stop his tears and he just wanted to sleep to make his worries go away "h-hey minji, appa will feel better i-if we take a nap" yoongi sniffled, minji nodded and walked to the bedroom while holding yoongi's hand.

minji felt confused. why wouldn't anyone tell her why yoongi was sad? she would see her appa shake and cry but not know why. she wanted to know why.

"why appa cry?" minji asked, in hopes of yoongi telling her "i-it doesn't matter, take a nap" yoongi said, wiping his tears and laying down "but i want to know!" minji huffed, yoongi sighed and groaned a bit "appa is sad but that's okay" yoongi said, minji thought about it for a second.

"but appa always sad! appa cry night night! appa never say why" minji angrily said, yoongi was but shocked, since when we're two year olds so curious "i can't explain, im really sorry. appa just.. he gets sad. appa has a hard time sometimes and that's okay" yoongi forced a smile to reassure the girl "m think you lying, people don't get sad everyday, i'll ask jinnie" minji said, yoongi sat up to talk to the girl.

"you don't need to ask jinnie baby, im telling you the truth. but appa feels sad and that is perfectly fine. it's okay to cry, it's okay to be mad or even frustrated. it's all natural. appa feels happy too" yoongi smiled, minji showed a big smile. finally someone told her.

or so she thought.

-

when you think about it: this could be sorta traumatizing to minji, she sees her father cry and seokjin comfort him but doesn't know why. she's clueless about the fact that her other parent left her, yoongi struggles financially, and that yoongi is called sort of things and that yoongi overworks himself while struggling with mental illness. i feel like she's starting to realize something is wrong but no one will tell her. you can't really explain to a small girl about those issues. qotd: what keeps you going? sorry for grammar and spelling mistakes :) ilysm

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