"Listen, listen. Take a breath aight?" Siah said to Kash. "You're okay, Sadé, it's gon come," he assured her. He was at the airport, it was a week and a half before Christmas and he was coming back to Atlanta. The only reason he didn't stay was because he was trying to save some PTO for the summer months—just in case.
He was also trying to get Kash to calm down because she called him crying at 9:45 in the morning. Well for her. It was 8:45 for him.
"B-but this was my fourth interview, Siah," she wiped her face with a tissue. "I went to school for all this time and-and I made Dean's List and I had two internships to get me ready and it's not happening," she sniffed.
He knew the crying was definitely stemming from her fear of failure. Ever since he learned that about her he'd been noticing that she was kind of hard on herself. He even thought back to when she was in college and she'd beat herself up so bad for getting subpar grades.
It was also the disappointment, she was sad that she had so much to offer and had yet to get hired at any place except a company where there was a stalker nobody would handle properly. He didn't really know how she felt because Mr. Frank hired Siah and Khy right out of trade school, so he didn't know if he was consoling her correctly.
"It was your fourth interview, Dae. But what's meant for you gon come to you, you hear me? You're smart as hell, you know it, we all know it. You have good experience for a fresh college graduate. You're gonna get something, Sadé and it's gon be exactly what you needed. It's hard, I know but you gotta be patient," he said as gently as he could. He knew he had the tendency to make everything sound mean and he didn't wanna make her cry more.
"It's so hard," she sighed. "I just wanted it all to work out,"
"It's gon work out. Give yourself some time. You're gonna be just fine, right?" he asked and she nodded. "No, lemme hear you say it. I'm gonna be okay,"
"I'm gonna be okay," she muttered.
"And I miss my boyfriend," he smirked, trying to get her to smile, which only worked for like two seconds.
"And I really miss my boyfriend," she pouted more. "How long till you get back?"
"Flights in ten minutes, Dae. Ima see you soon aight? You know the code to my back door just gon' in there and wait for me downstairs. Take you a lil nap, and I'll be there when you get up,"
"Okay. Is that okay with your dad?" she asked.
"You so damn polite, it's fine. Dad, Sadé could come over and wait for me downstairs?" he asked because she was giving him a face.
"Huh?" he looked up from his book. "Boy I'on care—tell her where the keys at," he waved Siah off and he looked back down at the camera with a knowing face.
"Okay, okay. I'll be there in fifteen. Be safe okay?" she wiped her face some more and stood up getting ready to go.
"Mhm, get some sleep," he said and she nodded, then they got off the phone.
He leaned back in his seat and let off a sigh, frustrated he couldn't help her more. He was also not aware that Sadé really did cry a lot. He knew she was adamant about things in her life going the way she planned them—he knew from way before. But, he chalked it up to him getting to know his Sadé.
She was very mature in lots of ways, the way she carried herself was extremely classy and dignified and she was always put together on the outside. She was almost twenty two years old and in so many ways you could see her growth outwardly—but anyone who knew her closely, and now him as her boyfriend, also knew that she was a very big baby.
She wasn't childish in a way that made her annoying, she was sensitive to lots of things. And although Kasiah was not very sensitive at all, he liked her that way.
"Boy do you not hear me calling you?" Tatum said. Siah's head snapped in his direction and his father shook his head. "I said they boarding early and we in first class, so let's go," he chuckled.
"Man why you keep buying first class tickets? Who money you spending?" he joked. His dad hated flying coach most times, he liked boarding first, he liked getting off first and and enjoyed all the fancy snacks.
"Boy come on so you can go see yo' damn girlfriend and quit the frowning," he teased and Siah sucked his teeth, making his dad laugh.
Siah yawned, unlocking the door to his house. The flight got delayed an hour and a half because of some unexpected heavy rain in Texas, so he was home at nearly four in the afternoon, of course thanks to the heavy traffic out of the airport.
"Aight, I'm gon go see bout this girl," he nodded to his dad and Tatum gave him a thumbs up, going straight to his own bedroom.
Siah jogged downstairs, straight to his room expecting to see Kash up and moving around but instead she was on his side of the bed wit her face stuffed in his pillow. Her duffel bag was by the door which made him laugh, and she was in a t-shirt of his with her hair wrapped up. She was buried under his comforters. Two because she unfolded the one that sat at the foot of his bed.
"My poor baby," he sighed, reaching over and moving some hair from her face. He could see the frown on her lips even though she was knocked out sleeping, and it upset him. He reached over and toyed with her ear, since almost her entire face was in the pillow, and she started to stir a bit.
Luckily, she wasn't the heaviest sleeper.
"I'm here," he said quietly, to help her decide whether or not she wanted to actually get up. The only eye visible to him popped open and he waved. He had no idea how long she was asleep but it took her a second to even realize what was happening.
"Hi," she muttered, closing her eye back and stretching in place. "Sorry I messed your bed up," she said, starting to sit up.
"Im not worried about that," he shook his head. "I'm worried 'bout you. How you feeling?" he asked her. She looked down at her hands, playing with her fingers before shrugging.
"I-I'm okay," she nodded.
"Sadé, look at me," he replied and she glanced up from her hands. "You'on gotta fake for me, aight? Are you okay?"
Tears welled up in her eyes and a sad smile found itself on het face as she shook her head no. He waved her over to him and she went, allowing him to hug her. "I'm-I'm just frustrated," she said shakily, as he began to rub her back while she lay on his shoulder.
"It's aight to feel like that," he said. "Anybody going through what you going through would be frustrated, but you gotta be patient. Give yourself some grace, baby. I'on wanna keep saying it, but it's gonna come. When it does, you gon forget all this and the way you feeling right now. Just give it some time,"
"Okay," she nodded. "Sorry, I know you must be tired, and I'm doing all this," she huffed, moving away from him. "You should go to sleep," she said.
"Sadé don't do that," he said.
"Do what?" she furrowed her eyebrows. "I just want you to get some sleep, Kasiah," she said simply and he sighed.
It may have seemed very harmless but Sadé had been doing it for a while. Whenever she was upset about something, small or large, as soon as he started being attentive toward that thing, she switched the subject.
He only asked her about it once, but in that one time he learned that her ex used to make it seem like she was overreacting. And while she could agree that her feelings were certainly very sensitive, and she expressed them a lot, continually telling her that she was overreacting led her to the behavior she was displaying now.
"Just come lay down," he said. He didn't want to make her feel any worse than she already did, or make her feel any more upset, so he just left it alone. "I'm gon go to sleep, come on," he said and she nodded.
She got back in bed and watched him move around till he was in nothing but his briefs. He had gotten much more comfortable around her and was back to sleeping how he usually did when she wasn't in bed with him. He laid on his back, staring at the ceiling while she lay on her side, facing him, scrolling on her phone.
"Sadé now how I'm gon sleep if you acting like I'm not here?" he raised his eyebrows and she looked up from her phone with a confused expression. "Bring yo ass over here,"
"You so mean," she giggled.
"Yeah yeah, come here," he chuckled, as she scooted closer to him. "Gimme kiss, hell you thought this was. I ain't get no damn kiss, I been gone three days, no love no nothing. You ain' miss me or something? You got another boyfriend while I was gone?"
"Kasiah!" she laughed, bringing him a little bit of relief. All he wanted was to make her laugh or smile, even a giggle would do but this was good. "Of course I missed my baby," she pouted, grabbing his face and turning his head to her so she could kiss him.
"Oh I'm yo' baby now?" he smirked.
"You called me baby first. So I'm your baby first," she poked his chest.
"I'on remember allat na'," he joked, and she sucked her teeth. "I know, I make you sick,"
"Very, very sick. Now go to sleep before I pop you in your damn lip, goodnight," she chuckled, shaking her head.
"Goodnight, baby," he pecked her lips and she couldn't help the blush.
"Do you really have to leave?" Kash sighed as they stood at the airport. A week had gone by and it was time for Kasiah to make his final trip to Houston for the year.
"Yes," he chuckled. "My Mimi is waiting for me and she gon kill me if I'm not wit' her on Christmas. I'm gon see you on the 28th," he said.
"The 28th? I thought we agreed on the 27th?" she tilted her head.
"Uh, yeah. Bout that, I uh—I kinda forgot to buy my ticket and—"
"Kasiah. I know you fuckin lying, how did you forget?! I been talking about it for weeks!" she fussed like he knew she would.
"I know, Sadé. I'm flying in that night it won't be long without me, y'all can exchange gifts and I'll just give mine when I get there, it's gon be fine," he explained.
"No! No we have to do it when you're there, I don't want you to miss anything. I'll just let everyone know we'll do it the next night? Maybe the next morning so you can sleep and I'll pick you up from the airport and-and—"
"Sadé—you need to take a breath. I'm gonna be there, don't change the plans for me," he tried to convince her. But, he knew better. And a small part of him was happy she was so eager to have him there.
"Don't forget to call when you land, and before you go to bed okay?" she reminded him, reaching to wrap her arms around his neck. "I'm gonna miss you," she pouted.
"Ima miss you too, Peanut," he smirked, making her laugh. He'd been calling her peanut head for almost two weeks straight and as of last week it was shortened to just peanut. "Be safe driving home aight? Text me," he said and she nodded. "Aight. Be good,"
"I'm always good," she grinned innocently and he shook his head.
"If you say so. Gimme kiss so I can go," he said and she leaned up to do just that. "See you later, Dae,"
"See you soon," she smiled. "Merry early Christmas, Mr. Parker!" she waved as he returned with a coffee. "See you later,"
"Alright sweetheart, Merry Christmas to you too," he waved to her as she let Siah go and she blew him one more kiss before she turned to walk back to her jeep.
"Thank you for taking me out," Kash smiled at her big brother, Prince. He really did work all the time so seeing him often wasn't something she was used to.
"Of course," he nodded, giving his daughter a french fry. "I missed you kid, what you been up to?" he wondered. She hadn't seen him since two weeks before Siah's birthday, so she had to catch him up.
"Okay, so, you know Kasiah? Khyren's best friend?" she asked and Prince nodded. "Well, he's my boyfriend now," she told him and held back a giggle as his eyes went wide.
"The lil nigga you always arguing wit'?! How the hell that happen?" he wondered as Kash sipped her strawberry lemonade.
She started telling him the story—of course leaving out the parts where he slept in her bed multiple times, and also the part where she was blackout drunk in Toccoa. That was a lecture she didn't need.
"Wow. Well...as long as you happy, Dae Dae. He makin' you happy?" Prince raised his eyebrows as Princess began to whine, causing him to pick her up out of her high chair. "Whatchu want lil girl? Spoiled ass just wanna be out the chair,"
"My baby deserves, matter fact gimme her," Kash held her arms out for her niece. "But to answer your question, yes, Kasiah makes me very happy. He doesn't complain when I wanna be in his skin, and that's all I can really ask for, you know?" she joked and her brother shook his head at her silliness. "No but really, he's so great,"
"Good. If he do something dumb like that last bitch ass nigga I will beat his ass. I ain' get do do it last time," he scowled. Kash had to physically stop him, Prince was very prepared to pay her ex a visit after he learned that there was a strong possibility that his sister was cheated on.
She appreciated it, but it was months removed, and she didn't want any more interaction with him as is. Honestly, she was still dreading the day she ran into him in public. She prayed she never did and that he was just completely erased from her memories.
"Oh, and uh," Prince chuckled uneasily, scratching the back of his neck.
"What the hell did you do, Jabari?" she raised her eyebrows, calling him by his middle name. "Do I need to call mama?"
"Nah, she know. Her and dad. I got Princess mama pregnant...again," he grinned innocently and Kash erupted into laughter, scaring Princess. "What's so funny, man?" he said, trying not to laugh himself.
"You and Mia are the most toxic ass people! You got her pregnant?! What happened to being done with her?! Oh my God this is so funny. You are going to have a sibling and a child at the same time...Prince you're a dumbass. I love you so very much but you are so dumb,"
"My father told me that already," he chuckled. "She say she wanna keep it and I already know we make cute kids so I mean...it's gon be straight," he said. "Ima take care of my responsibility as a father,"
"You always do, you know I was playing. You're a good daddy, PJ, you always have been. I can't wait to meet my lil stink stink. If you're happy I'm happy," she said, kissing Princess' cheeks. She was fifteen months now, as Mia said. Kash just said she was one and some change.
"Stop calling my children stink stink, weirdo," he chuckled and Kash stuck her tongue out at him.
"Khy pass me the light! I'm not finna play wit'chu," she fussed with her brother. Khy, and Kash were decorating their dad's house for the holidays like they did every year, and they were pretty much done but Kash insisted on putting the star on the tree when when everyone knew it was hard for her to reach.
"Sadé you gon fall and bust yo ass and I'm gon say I told you so. Get down," he fussed back. This was a yearly argument, since they were children and Donovan let them decorate how they wanted.
"Khyren. Just gimme the damn star! We still have to decorate your apartment and I have to pick up Siah's gift, please just lemme have it," she sighed.
"Oh so you tryna rush decorating my apartment so you can pick up your lil stank gift for his ass?" he joked and she laughed. "Ain' nobody laughing wit'chu! Here take this damn star," he handed it to her, and she continued to laugh while she reached to grab it.
Once she struggled and got it on, she got down off the step stool and they got in their separate cars to head to Khy's apartment to help Ava decorate. They knew they'd be in Savannah on Christmas day, but Ava still wanted it to look festive since it was their first real Christmas in their new apartment together.
"Ooh! It looks good so far pooh!" Kash complimented as a notification came through on her watch, and it was Aryn, sending her a picture of a wrapped gift, with a winking emoji, letting Kash know that it was her gift.
Sadé loved Christmas time, she loved the season, buying gifts for everyone, the feeling of the week before the actual holiday, she was always happy. Even happier this year because she and her friends were starting a new tradition this year, and it was setting up to be very fun.
She also really hoped Kasiah liked his gift. She knew it wasn't anything super personalized because she didn't really have time to make or get something ordered but she did listen so hopefully that counted for something.
He had made her very happy in the short amount of time they'd been together. In only a month she'd felt so validated and seen, and she could really tell he was trying because Kasiah usually wasn't an emotional person, but he dealt with hers so well. Sometimes she was scared that she was complaining too much about things she couldn't control so she tried to reel that back as much as she could so she wouldn't annoy him.
"Kash? You aight?" Khy called her. "You look zoned out,"
"No, no I'm good. Where y'all want these?" she asked, and he eyed her suspiciously before pointing toward a corner in the room.
"Aryn I feel like I'm doing that thing I do again," she huffed, laying across her best friends lap. "Please tell me I'm crazy, so I'll stop,"
"What happened, boo? I got my knife," she joked and Kash laughed.
"Nobody did anything—it's me. You remember how I used to tell you that when I would tell Jerrell about things that bothered me, and when they were small he'd always say I was doing too much or I was overreacting?" she asked and Aryn nodded with her lip curled up in disgust. "I try to avoid complaining a lot because I know how draining it can be yknow?"
"Well, you're still a really happy and positive girl, Kash. You just have sensitive feelings and that's okay," she said.
"Yeah, but I don't wanna run Siah off being too sensitive. Like last week I was crying and he had just gotten home from a flight and he barely got to sit down before I was acting like a damn baby and making everything about myself. I had to get off him," she explained.
"Kash, did you even ask him if he was annoyed by it? Or you assuming?" she asked.
"Well...I assumed—but he was tired! He was literally exhausted Aryn, what am I supposed to do? I just kept making everything about Sadé, and Sadé's feelings and he-he—"
"Kash, babygirl, baby listen. You have emotions and feelings that are valid. If Kasiah is making an effort to acknowledge those feelings, and he is telling you he cares and he wants to be involved, why won't you let him?"
"Because! I-I can't lose him Aryn. Everybody keeps saying, 'oh Kash, it wasn't your fault. Kash, it wasn't you it was him', but it couldn't just be him. There's two sides to everyone's breakup and the fact of the matter is, things about me drove my man into somebody else's arms. It wasn't just him, it was me too and-and I'm tired of everyone denying that. If there's something wrong and I won't fix that shit Siah is gonna walk away from me just like last time," she finally unloaded.
Aryn rubbed over Kash's hair, completely shocked by her revelation.
"I-I'm sorry Aryn, that was a lot. I don't know why I always...I just can't let myself be happy for long after this stupid ass breakup, my brain always takes it there. I hate this," she sniffed.
"Baby listen," Aryn began, tangling her fingers in her friends hair. "Everything you feel—that's normal mama. You may have thought since you got with Siah, everything is fixed and you've healed completely from the breakup, but all this is a big part of your healing process. Everything you're experiencing now is just a sign that you're really getting back to you baby!
As far as your relationship with Siah is concerned—everyone has individual problems and everyone brings problems to a relationship but those types of problems have to be fixed together. It was never your fault that Jerrell made the decision to step out on y'all's relationship. And Siah, he knows you mama. He knows the real you, and he has seen almost every Kash there is—except this Kash, scared Kash. You need to communicate your fears to him, let him know how you're feeling. Y'all we're friends first, and you should not be afraid to tell him how you feel just because y'all have developed a relationship deeper that that friendship you had," she explained.
Kash stared up at Aryn, and she was shocked by the good—no the great advice that she gave her. It was like her judgement was clouded by her own thoughts. She felt like Kasiah simply couldn't understand how she felt but she never even tried to tell him how she'd been struggling with these insecurities.
"You're right," she sniffed again, feeling like she was about to cry. "I just been leaving him in the dark,"
"Don't cry, pooh. Just fix it, you know now. So you can fix it, and I'm sure he'd appreciate you coming to him about it,"
"Thank you Bug. What the hell would I do without you? You're like my voice of reason," she sighed. "I love you,"
"I love you, too. I can't be without your crybaby ass either," she teased and Kash flicked her off. "Now lemme tell you about Davon's sister chile,"
"Oop, where's the pepper spray?"
"Bitch, goodbye," she laughed.
Two nights later, Savannah was a day away and Kash finally could bring herself to talk to Siah about how she'd been feeling. She'd been trying to figure out how to bring it up, but she was trying to listen to her friend and just do it.
"H-hey baby," Kash said when Siah picked the phone up.
"Wassup, Peanut?" he smiled. "How you feelin'? You aight?" he asked.
"You gon get enough of calling me Peanut, Siah," she giggled. "I miss you,"
"I miss you too, mama. What's wrong? Why you sound sad? Who ass I'm beating when I get back?" he raised his eyebrows.
"Uh...mine?" she said and he busted out laughing. "I been...I been wanting to talk to you, Siah. But I didn't know how to bring it up,"
She could see the worry in his face and she sighed, ready to unload more emotional baggage onto him. She didn't want to—but she knew she had to or else they wouldn't get anywhere.
"What's wrong, Sadé?" he asked, standing up to leave whatever room he was in to a quieter one.
"I um...I wanna apologize to you—I haven't been the best at communication and I wanna tell you that lately, I been really really scared," she sighed shakily.
"Scared? Scared of what?" he wondered. "I did something?"
"No! No Siah, baby you've been perfect. It's me. I'm nervous that I've been emotionally dumping on you, and I'm-I'm really nervous that I'm gonna run you off, and I know that sounds crazy but that's a really big fear of mine, that I'm way too sensitive and-and I do way too much and I always make everything about me and it shouldn't be! It should be about us! We never talk about you, never consider your feelings I'm always crying and whining and you—"
"Baby, baby stop," he said. "Breathe aight?" he instructed and she did that, breathing in and out.
He was actually glad she brought this up to him, since he'd been wondering for weeks why she never stopped deflecting when he tried to talk about her feelings.
"Now, tell me. Why do you think I don't wanna be with you and all you come with, mama? I already knew you're an emotional girl, I know you're sensitive and I understand that,"
"Because," she sighed. "My last relationship fucked me up, okay? I always thought it was normal, your boyfriend tells you your overreacting about little shit and you-you just stop overreacting. You tell your best friend when you had a stupid bad day at work, you tell your mom when your nail broke and the shit hurts and now your day sucks," she shrugged.
"Sadé, that shit is not normal, baby," he said. "Whatever that nigga told you is not what a relationship is. If you havin' a bad day, I expect you to come to me. If you had a bad day at work because them bitches stole your snacks, I want you to come to me. I'on care how small or large yo' problem is, I expect you to come to me, Peanut," he said.
"I—wow," she said. "I wasn't expecting you to say that," she chuckled anxiously.
"I'm gon tell you now. I'm not that nigga, I'm never gon be that nigga. I'on know what kinda stupid shit he had goin' on tellin' you your feelings don't matter or you overreact. Because even if you do, that's what comes with being with you and I want allat. I'on give a fuck if you mad because it's raining and you had a hair appointment," he chuckled and she laughed. "I wanna know about it, my lil crybaby," he teased and she blushed.
"You-you really care about me and my sensitive ass, huh?" she sniffled, wiping her eyes. "You're gonna make me cry,"
"Of course I care about you, Sadé. I wouldn't be dating you if I'an care about you mama. You better remember that too," he pointed.
"I'll remember," she said softly. "Thank you Siah, you know this was really...nerve wracking for me, you made it much easier. I appreciate you a lot," she nodded.
"I gotchu, Peanut. I always gotchu, aight?" he assured her. Her heart began to swell and she nodded her head. "Don't cry," he chuckled.
"You know I can't help it," she whined and he laughed. "You ready to be up with me all night, stink stink?"
"You gon get yo ass popped right in the mouth if you keep calling me stink stink,"
"Stank? Pooh butt? Boobie? Papa?" she listed names off and he just said no after each and every one, except papa. "Awww Papa," she cooed.
"Aight—don't get crazy,"
heyyyyyy!
i keep breaking my no updates after midnight rule for y'all lol. buy that's okay bc ilysm.
so let's get straight to it.
our poor kash is scared she's gonna fail. i felt that too hard lol.
how do we feel about how siah consoled her?
what about the advice from aryn to kash about her emotional ways? do y'all agree?
how do you think the conversation between the couple went? you think kash is gonna improve?
sidebar question, are you sensitive and emotional or stoic? i am personally ✨an emotional wreck✨.
the friends are getting back together in toccoa next chapterrrrrrr! i hope yall are excited lol what y'all think siah got kash for chrimuh and vice versa?
leave me your favorite lines here!
till next time 🥰