"I'll ask Sam to go shopping with me. I need a dress for Friday," I think out loud.
Alexander lifts his head and looks at me, stopping the movement of swirling the spoon around to cool down our dinner. "Sam? Are you sure?" he asks, his voice having a weird strain to it that makes me look at him weirdly.
"What's wrong with going with her?"
I see he's forming an answer in his head that I'll like to hear rather than just say something outright. "She has a very different style than you do," he points out softly.
I huff. That's an understatement. I feel like a grandma next to her. "Yes, I know, but I can't go in jeans and a sweatshirt."
Alexander frowns. "What's wrong with that?"
"Babe," I say chidingly. "You can not be serious." He's been to a lot of parties before. He knows what's acceptable to wear for both guys and girls, whereas that is an unfamiliar territory for me.
"I can go shopping with you then."
I'm shaking my head before he can even finish the sentence. "No way." He's way too overprotective and I'd probably end up looking like a nun. "I need a hot, short dress and you'll only get to see it when I wear it."
He mulls this over and I see his jaw working, trying to say something. I raise my eyebrows, challenging him to say what's on his mind, but he only sighs. "Who's all going to be there?" he asks, wanting to sound nonchalant about it. He looks down at the plate, taking a spoon of food into his mouth.
"Just a few of her friends. She said she doesn't want to celebrate big-style."
While Alexander's chewing, he's looking directly at me in thought. His eyes are so focused on my face, it makes me squirm in my seat. "Are you comfortable going alone?" he asks when he swallows the food.
I know why he's asking me this. I absolutely hate clubbing for what happened to me years ago. That was a terrible experience mostly because I was surrounded by terrible people. "Yes. For the most part. I mean, June's going to be there and she's really nice. Right?" It sounds like I'm starting to overthink my decision now and create doubts.
Alexander merely shrugs. "I don't know her that well," he responds. "Can we make a deal?" He puts his elbow on the table, still holding a spoon in his hand and he puts his hand under his chin, the spoon sticking into my direction, waiting for my response.
"What kind of a deal?" I ask, apprehensive. He better not say that I shouldn't go anywhere because that won't sit well with me. I need to learn how to not be so dependent on him for everything and that means going out and spending time with my friends without him.
"I want you to text me throughout the night just so I know you're alright. How about one text every 15-20 minutes? If you don't text, I'll take that as if you're not okay – in any way you take it."
My shoulders relax a little and my heart kicks in my chest again. He cares about me so much. "I can do that," I confirm.
"Good," he says. "I'll have a phone on me at all times," he assures me.
˙˙˙
Shopping with Sam is ... really something else. As Alexander said, we have completely different styles and our taste is very different. What I like, she doesn't. What she likes makes me almost have a heart attack.
"Uh, that's pretty ... uhm, revealing," I say when Sam picks up a silver, strapless dress that's pleated at the front and it looks very short.
Sam lets out an exasperated sigh and I just give her an apologetic smile. I'm not comfortable in clothes that show too much because I don't want to draw too much attention on myself.
"How about something in black? I don't want to stand out too much. Just a simplistic back dress. You can't go wrong with that."
Sam sighs, giving in. "Okay. Black. I got you."
We search the store for more dresses and I pick out a few dresses that I think would look okay. When I try them on, I eliminate a few of those immediately because I don't like how they look on me. Sam doesn't, either. I end up having two options that I can't decide between and Sam can't help me much either because she says they're not that different so it doesn't matter which one I buy.
I groan to myself. I've always hated shopping and this is the reason why. I take pictures of myself in both dresses and send them to Alexander. I have a feeling which one he's going to choose and I also know the reason.
I expect him to answer with a text, but he calls me and I panic a little. "This is not how this works. You're supposed to text back!" I tell him.
He's quiet for a second. "Are these two the only options?"
"Yes," I say, rolling my eyes.
"Hmm," he makes a sound in his throat. "I like the second one better, then."
"Mmm," I say in return. I knew it. It's the one that looks simple in the front. It's body tight and it's not too short. It has a simple belt that prevents it from being too basic. The V neck isn't too deep, but I didn't take a picture from the back. And the back is completely bare, whereas the first option I sent him is a little more open in the front, but nothing too drastic. It's just a little shorter, yet still sexy. "Okay," I say.
"Didn't you find anything that's not so ... tight and short?" he asks casually.
I roll my eyes again. "Nope," I say lightly. "It's okay if you don't like it. I'll make sure you'll like what's going to be underneath the dress," I purposefully drop my voice
"Gabrielle –" he says tightly.
"Gotta go. Sam's waiting for me. Bye!" I end the call with my heart beating like crazy. I put my phone against my chest, smiling to myself.
"If you're done sexting with your boyfriend, I would like to go eat now because I'm starving," Sam says from the outside.
I gasp, my cheeks reddening. "I was not ... doing that!" I say loudly.
She peeks her head inside. "Get changed, we're going eating."
I lift my chin up in defence. "I'm going lingerie shopping first and you're going with me."
Her head falls back and she groans. "Fuck my life," she mutters, but then her face brightens. "You're totally going to listen to me here and go with my choices," she says meaningfully.
˙˙˙
The rest of the week is more or less uneventful. June is ecstatic about Friday and I was, too at first. But when Friday rolls around, I just feel anxious and scared about going out. I hate that I still live with this fright inside of me. I hate that it's still haunting me.
I tell myself that it's all going to be alright. These are different people. June texted me all the details about where the party is happening and she told me all about her friends. I've never met them but she assures me they're all very nice.
I gave her the present in one of the classes because I wasn't sure the club would be an appropriate place to get presents at.
Sam promised she's coming over to do my make-up and my hair. I'm kind of scared about that, too, but I made her promise she won't go too crazy.
I have another short meeting for the tutors when we have to turn in some papers. Sebastian is there, as well and I greet him with a small smile.
We're done in about twenty minutes and Sebastian walks out with me. "Have any plans for the weekend?" he asks, trying to make a small talk.
"Not really. I'm going to a birthday party tonight and then I'll just stay in," I say.
"That's nice," he says. "Are you going home? Do you need a ride?"
I shake my head automatically. "No, it's okay. I'll take the bus. "See you around, okay?" I say with another one of my smiles.
He nods. "Sure," he says easily. I wave at him, running to the bus station so I catch the bus.
On the way home, I make a list of everything I have to do this weekend so I don't forget anything. I text Alexander that I'm on my way home, but he doesn't respond. He's most likely at the gym.
I sigh, closing my notebook. I think about what I should make for the late lunch in case Alexander didn't leave me anything. He doesn't cook, but he likes to order out instead and he sometimes orders enough for me as well. I'm a bigger fan of a home-cooked meal, but I'm not much of a cook, either, although I'm at least trying.
When I get to my stop, I exit the bus and walk to my building, going up to our place. It's locked, which means Alexander isn't at home. When I go inside and turn around to take the key out and close the door, I see someone standing at the flat across us. A man I've never seen before, only in boxers with a toothpick hanging from his mouth. He scratches his stomach, giving me a grin when he notices me looking. I hastily close the door and I lock it. Jesus. I shudder.
I put my stuff away and go straight to the kitchen. I don't think Alexander even ate anything because everything's still untouched and there are no traces of anyone even being in here.
While the food's cooking, I go to the bathroom and take a shower so I'm ready for when Sam comes over. She said she needs an hour and a half to get me ready, which seems a lot to me, but what do I know about these things? Sam's basically an expert.
I put on leggings and an oversized shirt, discarding the bra. I lean down and dry my wet hair with a towel and then wrap my hair in it. When I straighten up again, there's someone standing at the bathroom door. I scream on top of my lungs, backing away.
Alexander's eyes widen. "Fucking hell, Gabrielle!"
I put my hand over my racing heart. "Are you insane?!" I ask, breathing hard. "Why are you sneaking up on me like that? My God." I put my hand on my forehead, willing my heart to calm down.
"I didn't even know you were home. The door was locked," he says.
I shake my head to myself. "I didn't hear you come in," I say.
"It's nice to see that you're happy to see me." His eyebrows arch.
I walk to him and wrap my arms around him, leaning my head against his chest. "It is nice to see you," I murmur against his chest. "Very nice, in fact," I sigh, rubbing my head against his chest.
His arms come around my waist, hugging my back. "Good," he says, kissing the top of my head. "But let's leave the screaming for the bedroom next time, yeah?" I hear the amusement in his voice.
"Don't be an ass," I murmur, but I grin nonetheless.
"When is Sam coming over?" he asks.
"In an hour or so. That leaves enough time for us to make food and eat." I pull back. "Come. You'll help me in the kitchen."
Alexander groans. "I want to come, alright. Just not to the kitchen," he gives me a wicked grin.
I roll my eyes at him. "You're such a guy," I say because nothing else comes to my mind. I tease him about it all the time but, in reality, I love when he's playful like that. I love him. Period.
He comes to the kitchen but he rather just makes me company instead of helping because he's completely lost when it comes to that. Sam comes before we manage to clean the kitchen. She's early.
"Hello!" she sing-songs, coming after Alexander who went to open the door.
"Hi," I grin. I grab the plates and take them to the sink.
Sam looks at me from head to toe. "Chop-chop. Let's go," she says seriously.
I look at all the dishes in the kitchen. "Leave it. I'll clean up," Alexander says.
Sam chuckles. "Nice to see you all domestic. It suits you." She winks. He gives her his middle finger in response.
Sam and I walk to the bedroom where she sits me on a chair, putting all her stuff on the bed. "You can use some of my make-up, too," I suggest. I don't have much, but it's at least something.
Sam shakes her head. "I have everything I need and more in here, don't worry."
She starts working on my face and I close my eyes, letting her do what she wants to. It feels good to relax and sit up, enjoying someone else taking care of me.
Alexander shows up at some point. "What are you doing," he asks.
I open my eyes as Sam says, "Making her pretty."
"She's already pretty." He says this so casually and so nonchalantly like it's the most obvious thing. I give him a warm look and only then I notice that he's holding ice cream in his hands.
"Well, I'm making her prettier," Sam says, rolling her eyes.
I extend my arms, looking at the ice cream. "Give me," I say, licking my lips.
Sam turns around to look at him and then at the ice cream. "When did you turn into such a pussy?" she says jokingly.
He merely shrugs, handing me the ice cream, but looking at Sam. "You are what you eat." He grins and then gives me a heated look. I raise my eyes at him with a spoon full of ice cream in my mouth.
My cheeks redden. "Ass," I mutter around the spoon.
His grin widens. "Yeah. That, too," he says easily.
I grab the nearest thing I can reach – the pillow – and throw it straight at him.
He only chuckles.
I focus back on what Sam is doing and eat the ice cream. When I see her dipping a brush into a black eyeshadow, I lean my head back. "Uh, nope," I say warily.
Sam just raises an eyebrow. "Trust me," she says. "I'll go easy."
I eye her in doubt, but I let her do what she wants anyway. Alexander sits on the bed, not giving us any attention anymore.
"On average, how many times do you have sex?" Sam asks me suddenly.
I choke on ice cream. "What?" I ask quietly, turning my head and giving Alexander a look. He's watching me with amusement.
She shrugs. "I just want to know if I'm right."
"Why does that matter?" I mutter, my cheeks getting all hot.
"It's not that big of a deal. You don't have to answer."
I look at Alexander again and he just shrugs. "I'd say a lot. Or enough, at least," I mutter finally. I see Alexander's mouth lift in the corners, but Sam turns my head back straight.
"Close your eyes," she orders. I do what she says. "Okay, but can you give me a number to work with?"
I'm probably red all over by now. "Uhm," I say.
"Twice a week? Three times? Every other day?"
Alexander is masking up his chuckle with a cough now. I want to glare at him, but I can't. "Every day. More or like."
"The correct answer would be multiple times a day every day, but not that's any of your business," Alexander says suddenly and my eyes snap open.
Sam is looking in bewilderment. "God damn, you fucking maniacs." She shakes her head.
I close my eyes again, groaning.
She finishes my make-up and curls my hair and I finish with the ice cream. Alexander went back out in the living room, probably bored of hearing us talk about girl stuff that he doesn't understand.
When Sam announces she's finished and that I can go look myself in the mirror, I have to blink a few times. She stayed true to her words and went easy with make-up, but it still looks incredible. My eyes now look lighter due to the light smokey eye she gave me and with my hair all curled and looking more voluminous, I feel ... sexy.
I put on the dress that I bought, spraying perfume on me. I walk to the living room where Sam went with a huge smile, giving a pose. "Well, what do you think of your creation?"
Alexander's head is the first one to snap in my direction and his mouth opens. "Holy f–" He's speechless, his eyes running from my head down to my feet, his jaw clenching. I don't think he even releases he's walking towards me with a purpose, but Sam jumps in front of him, stopping him.
"Uh-oh. No way, lover boy. You are so not ruining that make-up." She's shaking her head at him.
He's not looking at her, but he's looking past her, directly at me and I'm grinning like a fool. I slowly turn around, make sure my hair swishes to the side and Alexander can see the back of the dress, making a full circle until I'm facing him again.
I think I might've just heard him growl.
*
Sometimes I write things like this chapter and I'm like "brain?? what the hell is your problem and where did that come from?" ANYWAYS. yeah.