[07 April 2022]
"You okay? "
Jungwon sighed as he glanced at his group member who's tapping his shoulder. He smiled.
"Yeah hyung, I'm just. It's like something isn't right" Jungwon honestly answered, not hiding what's really going on in his mind.
Heeseung patted his back. "Maybe you're just over thinking things again?"
"I don't know hyung"
Jungwon sat on the bed of his hyung. He came here to talk with the oldest since he felt uneasy and it's been a while now.
It's been three days since he and his group went back to Korea after their tiring yet amazing world tour.
[A/n: I know Enhypen doesn't have world tour yet but this is for the sake of the story so yeah lol. Let's pretend they had a world tour alread. ]
As usual, he met their fans, their engenes who are always there to support them no matter what. Listening to their songs and voting them in every competition. Jungwon just loved their fans.
"Is it about the girl you keep on telling me? What's her name again? "
Hanseol.
"It's Hanseol, hyung" The younger said.
"Yeah her, Hanseol. Is it about her? " Heeseung asked, sitting beside the younger. "Or about our work? "
Jungwon sighed, shifting his gaze to rest on the curtain that's blocking the blinding sun on the closed window.
Truth was, Jungwon is not sure since it's been a few years since he last heard about the girl. Heck he didn't even know what she looks like now. If she grew taller, if she became more beautiful and more mature.
Another sigh escaped his lips. "No, not about our work. I don't know. It's just that, I'm not sure if she's okay or not. Especially from her abusive father. "
Jungwon clearly remember how the girl cried in his arms, how she told him everything about her abusive and worthless father. He remember it all too well, even the bruised face of her everytime they see each other.
His heart started aching just by thinking those old times.
How are you now? Are you happy? Do he still need to do or fulfill his promise? Maybe you found someone else?
Jungwon didn't know.
But maybe, she's happy. Maybe I don't have to fulfill my promises...
Time passes so quickly and time can change everything. That's why Jungwon is doubting if he still should fulfill his promise. A promise of getting the girl from that hell excuse of a place.
Heeseung nodded his head. "We still have a week break, do you want to visit your hometown? "
Jungwon really want to. Heck he even want to pack his bag right at this moment and flew back to his town and search for the girl he cherished the most. The fragile girl who needs protection from this cruel world.
"I'm not sure of her address hyung" Jungwon answered truthfully, lowering his gaze.
"But we can still try, right? "
The younger looked at Heeseung, confusion is written in his face. "We? "
Heeseung nodded. "Yes of course, I'll come with you. You've endured too much already, Jungwon. And you deserve this. Plus you're my favorite dongsaeng""
The younger idol chuckled, knowing that his hyung always say those words to every members. But regardless, he appreciates it.
"Thanks hyung"
He is indeed thankful for the older. The latter never left his side even in their iland days. And he's more than thankful for that.
"Of course. " Heeseung reached for his dongsaeng's hair only to ruffled it, earning a chuckle from the younger. "So, when are we moving? "
Jungwon laughed at what his hyung used.
Moving? Really?
"I'm thinking of tomorrow"
-
Jungwon went his old dorm that he used along with other trainees way back when he's still a trainee. With Heeseung accompanying him.
Jungwon searched for the last letter he received from Hanseol. He needs it as it was written there her exact address.
Once they arrived at the old room, Heeseung immediately sat on the stool in the kitchen while Jungwon searched for the letter in his old room.
But he found none.
He searched the whole place and he's going frustrated in every passing second. Why can't he see it? Where did he put it? Of course there's always someone who clean their old dorm every week but that person didn't threw it, right?
Jungwon bit his lips hard while searching the whole dorm. He searched everywhere but he found nothing. That's why he found himself walking towards the mail box outside of their dorm, hoping—even praying to every gods and saints out there that the letter was there.
Jungwon took a deep breath as he opened the mail box only to be surprised by what he saw.
He blinked his eyes and picked one of the letters. His heart broke from the date that was written there
March 19 2018
Jungwon picked another letter then followed by many only to check the year of the letters. It was all 2018, 2019, 2021, and some are this year, 2022.
Jungwon felt like collapsing. How could he forget it? How could he forget informing her about him, moving into their new dorm?
Jungwon grabbed all the letters and went inside the dorm and to his old room, planning on reading all the letters he should've received these past few years. He settled on the bed and started reading the letters one by one.
He felt stupid. He felt idiot. He can't stop blaming himself while reading all the letters Hanseol sent him. His heart breaks everytime she ask him to respond to her mails.
It took him a few hours, and that few hours filled with smiling, laughing at how stupid Hanseol can be, crying, silently screaming and even blaming himself for being oblivious and stupid. Once he was done with the old letters, Jungwon proceeds on reading the most recent ones. Which was this year, and late last year.
And Jungwon felt like punching himself even more. It broke his heart whenever Hanseol mention about the beatings, about her sufferings. About how she's not okay and still holding onto his promise that he once considered not doing so, thinking that the other is in good hands now. That she's perfectly fine and probably away from her father.
Oh how wrong and stupid he was.
Jungwon's system filled with nothing but regret. Especially when he read the letter which Hanseol confessed her feelings.
Unrequited love?
No! It's not since the feelings is mutual.
Jungwon cried, clutching the letter in his chest for dear life as he rocked his body back and forth on the bed.
He felt lost.
"No, Hanseol. I-i love you t-too" He mumbled in between his sobs.
It took Jungwon a while to calm down before he continued reading her letters with his heavy heart. He's a mess. He looked shit but he didn't care. All he care is her and the letters she sent.
Jungwon immediately fished out his phone from his pocket and saved the number that was written on one of the letters. He then immediately dialed it while reading the rest of the letters. But it is as if fate isn't in his side this time, as the call just directly go to a voicemail so he immediately end it. But of course, he tried almost a hundred times but the result always ends with a voicemail.
Jungwon felt drained. It's as if his body went numb as soon as he read the last two letters where Hanseol was begging him to come and save her. And the last letter was sent two months ago.
Jungwon didn't know what happened, why the letters stopped. Why she stopped sending him letters.
He didn't know anymore, guilt and regret started to consume his system. His body is aching from all the cries and his throat's hurt from all the screams.
Heeseung already left a few hours ago as he was needed in the company so Jungwon didn't have to worry anymore. That's why he stood up and threw everything his eyes landed onto.
He just can't deal with the guilt, the regret, the ache in his heart.
How could someone do that to her? How dare that man touched her, his own daughter?!
Everything is suffocating him.
Jungwon collapsed on the floor while mumbling the same words over and over again.
"I'm sorry Hanseol. "
THE END.