I've spent the last half an hour with Leah in my arms, caressing her warm, silky skin.
What happened between us shook me to the core. I knew it was bound to occur sooner or later. Lately, our caresses grew bolder, and we both struggled to stop whenever we were together. One thing is certain— I would lie if I said I expected our first time to be tonight, in my bedroom at Jim's. My brother might forget the day of his first arena concert of this magnitude, but I won't be able to.
I let my fingers wander over Leah's beautiful back, and think about how much meeting her changed me. It's not only because I haven't touched my pills or my cigarettes in weeks, and it has little to do with the fact that I am calmer. The change is more profound than that, and somehow in my gut, I know it's only the beginning.
We are different and similar at the same time. Kitten's shyness balances out my boldness, and I know I bring out the adventurous, brave, and fierce side of her she keeps hidden inside, burdened by so many years of poverty and the lack of affection from the only parent she has ever known.
I smile when I close my eyes and envision her the day she finally spreads her wings and breaks free from her cage. I will have to crush the bones of more than one asshole because I know that girls like her are rare, and if I know that, many others do as well.
"We have to clean you up, baby," I whisper, kissing Leah's hair. "How about a shower together?"
A tender smile plays on Kitten's lips. "Yeah, why not?"
I help her up, hating seeing her wince. I tried not to be too rough, but I wasn't thinking clearly. I wasn't doing it at all, too consumed by Leah.
"Does it hurt?" I ask her as we walk to the en-suite, naked and holding hands.
"It doesn't. It feels weird, and it stings a bit, but it wasn't that bad at all. Don't worry," Kitten says and kisses my bicep.
In the bathroom, I turn on the shower and make sure it's not too hot. Then, I step under the spray and pull Leah to me, wrapping my arms around her as I hold her.
The water falls over us, and I smile when Leah scrunches up her nose. Reaching for the shampoo, I take the bottle and open it, pouring some onto my palms to put it on Kitten's long hair.
I love taking care of her, and that's another first.
My hands cannot keep still. I slide them over Leah's body, spreading the lather over her skin. This time, it's from the body wash I found on the shelf. The smell is fruity, and Leah hums her approval, doing it even more when I caress her breasts and move my hand south of her belly.
I am telling myself it's to clean her, but it's a lie. I want her again, but I don't want to hurt her more than I did. So, I do the second-best. I caress her with my fingers, slowly and carefully, moving them over her sensitive spot. My other hand fondles Leah's breasts as she leans against me and closes her eyes.
Her pink lips part, and her chest rises and falls faster. My hand glides over the wetness between her thighs. Kitten is close, and I am as hard as a rock, watching her orgasm from my hand as she moans my name.
"I'm here, baby," I whisper and put my palm on her cheek, turning her head toward me.
Our lips meet, and we kiss. Leah turns around and hugs my neck. One of her hands slides down my torso. I clench my eyes shut when she wraps her fingers around me and moves her hand up and down my erection. Her mouth on mine stifles my moans. I kiss her back as if I'm starving as she touches me faster and plays with my piercing until I cannot take it any longer.
I surrender to the pleasure, to her, and to the realization that I've been missing out all this time. I sought pleasure but never felt connected to anyone who gave it to me, until this night.
Pressing my forehead to Leah's, I breathe in and kiss her before turning off the shower. I get the towels and dry her before drying myself.
"Are you hungry?" I ask Leah as soon as we're back in the bedroom.
"Yeah." She smiles. "You?"
"I'll order pizza. Any preferences?"
Kitten shakes her head. I call one of the numbers Jim has pinned to the fridge and place my order. While we're waiting for our food, I toss the sheets into the washer and grab a fresh set of bedding, thinking that I wouldn't mind messing it up again.
When I'm done making the bed, the intercom buzzes, and I let the delivery guy in. By the time I've paid him, Leah has already taken two plates and some napkins. I place the box with our pizza on the coffee table, and we settle on the couch.
Leah is wearing my tee, and I know there's nothing else underneath, which doesn't help my resolve to keep the boy to myself for the rest of the night.
Watching her eat is as fun as ever. Anything I do with her is.
"I like your brother's place," says Leah. "I've never been to an apartment so beautiful."
"Jim has good taste." I smile. "And he's usually tidy except when he's stressed out or writing lyrics. So, what do you like the most here?"
"You've seen the house I live in," Leah answers when she stops chewing. "I think we've never lived anywhere nice. Mom could only afford to pay for the cheapest apartments or houses. I've been dreaming about my own place for years."
I rest my empty plate on the table next to the pizza box and move closer to Leah. "Tell me about it," I say, pulling her into my arms.
"I don't need anything big. I just want it to be full of light and pretty things I could never buy. A big, soft bed would be a plus."
"I like where this is going," I mumble, kissing Leah's shoulder.
"Of course you do." She chuckles, running her fingertips over my cheek.
"There's actually something else I want that has nothing to do with apartments."
"What is it?"
"I want a tattoo. Something small and beautiful while we're here in the city. Do you think we could do that?"
"I can ask Jim. He got his at a place he knows. His tats are great, music-related stuff and such. Do you know what you want?"
"A little moon," says Kitten. "It would remind me of the night we spent at the cabin. The moon and the sea."
"Our first kiss."
"And my first meet and greet with the boy." Leah wiggles her brows, and I can't help laughing.
"If you're getting the moon, I'm getting the sun," I say in a moment.
Kitten frowns. "Why?"
"Reminds me of you," I say, caressing her face. "Just as warm and something I know I couldn't be without."
Leah is blushing when I focus my eyes on her face. A yawn follows, and I don't waste time scooping her up in my arms.
"Time to sleep, Princess. It's been a long day."
Leah nods and rests her head against my shoulder. I walk to my room, put her down next to the bed, and kiss her before we lie down next to each other.
"Sweet dreams, baby," I say, kissing Kitten's lips.
She smiles and lets me wrap her in my arms. "Sweet dreams, Brian."
***
Jim didn't disappoint. His tattoo artist saw us in the morning, and the result is on our forearms. We got our small tattoos, and Leah looked happy and relaxed until we returned home.
Eric has to be here soon. Mom and Dad are doing everything they can to distract Leah, but I see it's useless.
Kitten is chatting with Mom in the kitchen as they are getting the salad ready. She smiles and nods, but I don't miss the gestures that give her away. I see how she frowns and the way she fiddles with her clothes.
I can't even fathom how I would feel had the roles been reversed. My parents have always supported my brother and me. We've always known that even when the shit is rough, they would be there for us.
The rumble of an engine breaks the quiet, and the look on Kitten's face changes to the one of dread. I come up to her and hug her to me.
"It will be okay," I say, kissing her cheek.
Pops opens the door. Laughter fills our hallway. Eric's voice is deep, and he doesn't sound like an asshole, but what the fuck do I know?
Dad and Eric chat as they enter the living room. Another voice joins them. It's my mom, and as I hear her making small talk with her old friend, I realize that we have to leave our hiding spot in the kitchen and go to meet Leah's maybe father.
"Brian," Mom calls me.
"Let's go, Princess," I say, squeezing Leah's hand gently. My poor girl is shaking with nerves, and it only gets worse when we stand next to my parents and face Eric.
He's just as tall as Pops. His brown hair is shorter than my dad's, and he isn't that inked. I only spot a couple of tattoos that are partly covered by his clothes. The dude is smiling as he greets us.
"Eric, you've already met Brian," says Pops. "And the beautiful girl is his girlfriend, Leah."
There's a pause during which I study Eric's appearance. There's no doubt that if he is Kitten's dad, she must have inherited her beautiful gray-blue eyes from him.
"Leah," Eric says. He is frowning, and I wonder if he sees the similarities between Kitten and him.
Leah nods."Yeah, Leah. Mitchell. My mom's name is Grace."
Eric pales. He brings one of his hands to his face and puts it over his mouth.
Then, he does something none of us expected.
He cries.