-November 12th 1998-
At Central Perk Me,Chandler and Joey are hanging out and Joey is looking at a National Geographic and giggling.
Chandler:Are you looking at naked tribe's women?.
Joey:No look."Shows him the magazine".
Chandler:That's a pig.
Joey:I know,I know but look at the knobs on her.
Ross enters and his hair is a mess.
Elizabeth:Hey.
Joey quickly hides the magazine under the couch.
Ross:Emily's cousin kicked me out.
Elizabeth,Chandler:What?!.
Joey:Why?.
Ross:Well when you're subletting an apartment from your wife's cousin and then you get a divorce sometimes the cousin suddenly wants his apartment back.
Chandler:How can he do that?.Didn't you sign a lease?.
Ross:Who needs a lease when it's family.
Joey:Hey you can stay with us!.We'll take care of ya.
Chandler:Oh yeah.Absolutely.Anything you need man.But you have to promise me the second you are feeling better so that we can make fun of your hair.
Joey:Yeah.
Ross:You got it.
Joey:Okay.
Ross:Thanks you guys I really appreciate this.All right I'm gonna get packing again. Man I've been moving around so much I'm beginning to feel like a nomad.
Joey starts giggling.
Ross:What?.
Elizabeth:He thought you said gonad.
Joey starts laughing.
Later on at Chandler and Joey's we enter to find boxes strewn about the apartment.
Joey:Ross?.
Ross enters from the bathroom.
Ross:Hey roomies.
Chandler:Love what you've done with the place.
Ross:Oh yeah I know,I know it's a lot of boxes but again I really appreciate you guys letting me stay here.
Joey:Not a problem.And listen hey.Since you're gonna be here for a while why don't I was thinking we uh put your name on the answering machine.
Chandler:Oh yeah!.
Ross:Oh I uh hope you don't mind I kinda uh jazzed it up a little.Check this out.
Ross plays the greeting and We Will Rock You starts to play and Ross's voice comes over it."We will,we will,call you back".
Joey:Hey all right!.
Ross:Pretty cool huh?.
They both laugh as Ross heads back to the bathroom.
Joey:"To Chandler".You're fake laughing too right?.
Chandler:Oh the tears are real.
Elizabeth:Yeah.
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-November 20th 1998-
At Monica and Rachel's everyone has just finished Thanksgiving dinner and I'm actually here for once.
Rachel:Oh Monica that was the best Thanksgiving dinner ever.I think you killed us.
Elizabeth:I couldn't possibly eat another bite.
Joey:I need something sweet.
Phoebe:Does anyone wanna watch TV?.
Everyone:Yeah sure.
Phoebe starts pushing the power button on the remote but it's not facing the TV so it doesn't work.
Phoebe:Monica your remote doesn't work.
Monica:Phoebe you have to lift it and point.
Phoebe:Oh.Aw forget it.
Rachel:Yeah you know what we should all do?.We should play that game where everyone says one thing that they're thankful for.
Joey:Oh,oh I-I am thankful for this beautiful fall we've been having.
Monica:That's very nice.
Chandler:That's sweet Joey.
Joey:Yeah the other day I was at the bus stop and this lovely fall breeze came in out of nowhere and blew this chick's skirt right up.Oh.Which reminds me I'm also thankful for thongs......I mean it's not so much an underpant as it is a feat of engineering.I mean it's amazing how much they can do with so little material.And the way they play with your mind.Is it there?.Is it not there?.
Chandler:Are you aware that you're still talking?.
Elizabeth:Is anyone thankful for anything else besides a thong?.
Ross:Huh I don't know what to pick.Am I more thankful for my divorce or my eviction?.Hm.
Phoebe:Wow.See and I didn't think you'd be able to come up with anything.
Ross:I'm sorry.It's just that this is the worse Thanksgiving ever.
Chandler:No,no,no!.I am the king of bad Thanksgivings.You can't just swoop in here with your bad marriage and take that away from me.
Rachel:Oh you're not gonna tell the whole story about how your parents got divorced again are you?.
Ross:Oh God no.
Joey:Oh come on.I wanna hear it!.It wouldn't be Thanksgiving without Chandler bumming us out.
Chandler:It's a tradition like the parade.If the parade decided it was gay,moved out and abandoned its entire family.
He tells us all the story.
Ross:You're right.Yours is worse.You are the king of bad Thanksgivings.
Phoebe:I don't know about that.I've got one that's worse.
Chandle:Really?.Worse than...More turkey Mr.Chandler?.
Phoebe:Oh did the little rich boy have a problem with the butler?.Yes mine's worse.
Phoebe tells us a past life story.
Elizabeth:In this life Phoebe.
Phoebe:Oh this life.Oh okay no Chandler's is worse.
Joey:Man it must be so cool remembering stuff like that.I don't have any past life memories.
Phoebe:Of course you don't sweetie.You're brand new.
Rachel:I know Monica's worst Thanksgiving.
Monica:Oh let's not tell this story.
Everyone:Oh come on.
Phoebe:Oh no I know!,I know!.It's the one where Joey got Monica's turkey stuck on his head!.
Rachel:What?!.
Elizabeth:Joey got a turkey stuck on his head?!.
Joey:Hey it's not like it sounds.
Chandler:It's exactly like it sounds.
They tell us the story.
Chandler:"Laughing".You did look like an idiot.
Joey:Hey I wasn't the only one who looked like an idiot.All right?.Remember when Ross tried to say Butternut squash?.And it came out Squatternut buash?.
Elizabeth:"Sarcastically".Yeah that's the same.
Monica:That's it.That's my worse Thanksgiving.
Phoebe:Oh wait.That can't be the one Rachel's talking about.She didn't even know that happened.So which one was it?.
Everyone:Which one?.
Monica:Um I-I really don't want to tell this story.
Chandler:Oh come on Monica reliving past pain and getting depressed is what Thanksgiving is all about.Y'know for me anyway.And of course the Indians.
Monica:Look um of all people you do not want me to tell this story!.
She tells us the story.
Chandler:I called you fat?! .I don't even remember that.
Monica:Well I do.
Chandler:I am so sorry.I really am.I was an idiot back then.I rushed the stage at a Wham concert for crying out loud.
Elizabeth:Oh I can't believe you called her fat.
Ross:I can't believe you let George Michael slap you.
Chandler:I am really sorry.That is so terrible.I am so,so sorry.
Rachel:Actually y'know that's not the Thanksgiving I was talking about.
Monica:Yes it was!.
Rachel:No it wasn't.It was actually the...
Monica:Okay now Thanksgiving's over let's get ready for Christmas.Who wants to go get a Christmas tree?!.
Phoebe:Oh no I have the cutest Christmas story.
Chandler:We wanna hear Monica's Thanksgiving story.
Phoebe:Fine all right mine had a dwarf that got broke in half but y'know whatever.
Monica tells us the other story and I stare at her in shock.
Chandler:That's why I lost my toe?!.Because I called you fat?!.
Monica:I didn't mean to cut it off.It was an accident.
Chandler:That's why for an entire year people called me Sir Limps A Lot?!.
Monica:I'm sorry.It wasn't your whole toe!.
Chandler:Yeah well I miss the tip.It's the best part.It has the nail.
Chandler storms out and I run after him and Monica does too and screams his name.
Monica:Chandler!.
In the hallway Me and Chandler are standing in front of his door.
Chandler:I can't believe this.
Monica:Chandler I said I was sorry.
Chandler:Yeah well sorry doesn't bring back the little piggy that cried all the way home.I hate this stupid day.And everything about it.I'll see you later.
Monica:Oh wait Chandler come here is there anything I can do?.Anything?.
Chandler:Yeah just leave me alone for a while.Elizabeth please join me.
We go into his apartment....As time passes.Chandler is sitting on one of the chairs and the duck is running around him and quacking which makes me bite my lip to hold a laugh at the cutie.
Chandler:Oh,oh I'm a duck.I go Quack, quack! I'm happy all the time!.
Elizabeth:That sounds like a lot of quack.
Chandler's just looks at me and I sigh at my attempt to cheer him up.There's a knock on the door and Chandler gets up to answer it.He opens the door to reveal Monica with a turkey over her head.
Chandler:Nice try.
Monica:Wait,wait,wait.
Monica puts a Shriner's hat on the turkey.
Chandler:Look Monica...
Monica:Look.
Monica puts a big yellow pair of sunglasses on the bird.
Chandler:This is not going to work.
Monica:I bet this will work.
Monica starts dancing and Me and Chandler crack up laughing.
Chandler:You are so great!.
Joey walks in and sees Monica.He freaks out and runs back into the hallway screaming.Leaving me laughing harder.