-January 8th 1998-
At Central Perk Me and Phoebe are talking with the happy couple Frank and Alice.
Phoebe:Oh my God.I can’t believe my little brother is married.
Frank:Oh I know.
Both Frank and Alice squeal.
Elizabeth:You guys why didn’t you tell us you were eloping?.
Frank:Cause it just sorta happened y’know we were at the courthouse,we were having lunch…
Phoebe:Wait,wait why were you at the courthouse?.
Frank:We were having lunch.Yeah and then all of the sudden we were like Hey.Y'know we’re here having lunch let’s get married.
Phoebe:Wow a year and a half ago I didn’t even know I had a brother and now I have a sister too.
Phoebe hugs them and then Frank and Alice start kissing.
Phoebe:Okay.Okay.Stop it don’t.So I gotta get you a gift now.Is there anything you need?.
Frank:Uh yeah.
Alice:We’ve been trying to get pregnant uh pretty much ever since we got engaged we thought we’d get a jump on things y’know no one’s getting any younger.
Frank:See the thing is um we’re not able to y’know uh conceive.
Alice:And we’ve tried everything we’ve seen a bunch of doctors.
Frank:Yeah and they and they say that our,that our only chance to have a baby is that if they take my sperm,her egg and put it together in a dish and then put it into another girl.So we were wondering if you could be the girl that we could put it into.
Phoebe:"Shocked".That’s a really nice gift.I was thinking of like a gravy boat.
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Me and Phoebe enter Monica and Rachel's apartment.
Elizabeth,Phoebe:Hey.
Everyone:Hey.
Elizabeth:Guess what!.Frank Jr and Alice got married.
Everyone:Oh my God!.
Phoebe:And,And they’re gonna have a baby!....And,And they want me to grow it for them in my uterus.
Ross:My God!.
Monica:Are you serious?.
Phoebe:Yeah
Joey:You’re really thinking about having sex with your brother?!.
Phoebe:Ew.And Oh no!.It’s they just want me to be the surrogate.It’s her,it’s her egg and his sperm and I’m,I’m just the oven it’s totally their bun.
Joey:Huh.
Monica:What did you tell them?.
Phoebe:Well they said that I had to think about it first but what is there to think about?.I’m gonna be giving them the greatest gift you can possibly give.
Chandler:You’re gonna be carrying their baby and give them a Sony Play Station?.
Elizabeth:Sweetie this really is an incredible thing to do for them but there are things to think about.
Monica:Yeah like you’re gonna be pregnant.I mean pregnant.
Phoebe:I know.
Ross:Pheebs you’re talking about putting your body through an awful lot I mean morning sickness uh labour and it’s all for somebody else.
Phoebe:Yeah what’s your point?.
Ross:Well the stuff I just mentioned.
Rachel:Wow.I don’t know if I could ever do that.I always figured the first time I had a baby was with somebody I love and that baby would be a…keeper.
Phoebe:Y'know you guys were a lot more supportive when I wanted to make denim furniture.
Joey:No Pheebs listen if you decide to do this we’ll be supportive like crazy.
Everyone:Yeah.
Monica:We just want you to think it through.
Rachel:Yeah honey maybe you can talk to somebody who’s had a baby.Like your mom?.
Phoebe:My mom never gave birth.Oh.But my birth mom did.
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Me and Phoebe go to Phoebe Sr.’s house and knock on the door.
Phoebe Sr:It’s open.Come in.
Elizabeth,Phoebe:Hi.
Phoebe Sr:Hi girls.
Phoebe:I’m sorry we're late.
Phoebe Sr:Oh that’s okay it gave me time to finish glazing my nipples.
Phoebe:Wow.You really go all out when you’re expecting company.
Phoebe Sr:No I was working on my pottery.
Phoebe:Oh,Oh,Oh I didn’t know that you did…pot.
Phoebe Sr:Well yeah mostly nudes.It combines my two passions pottery and erotica.
Phoebe:Oh erotiery.
Phoebe Sr:Hey.Okay.Well thanks for coming out to see me.I just,I just thought it would be a very good idea to talk about this baby stuff in person.Y’know…
Phoebe:Okay.
Phoebe Sr:I really don’t think it’s a very good idea Phoebe.
Phoebe:Why not?.
Phoebe Sr:Well because you’d be giving up a baby and I-I really don’t I don’t know if there’s anything I can say that could make you understand the pain of giving up a baby.So um.
Phoebe Sr picks up a puppy in the box next to the couch.
Phoebe:Oh no.No,no!.I understand the pain!.Don’t,don’t hurt the puppy.
Phoebe Sr:No,no,no the,the puppy’s yours.
Phoebe:Oh I get a puppy.
Phoebe Sr:Well yeah!.I mean yeah but only for three days.
Phoebe:Why?.
Phoebe Sr:I realise I don’t have any right to start get all parenty on you and everything now but um...uh…Phoebe would you please look at me and not the puppy it’s very important.
Phoebe:Okay.
Phoebe Sr:I mean I know what I’m talking about.I gave up two babies and I only wish I had someone there that had given up babies that could tell me how terrible it is to give up babies.I just think that it would be something you will regret every single day for the rest of your life.So how ever hard it is to give up this puppy it would be like a million times harder to give up a child.
Phoebe is playing with the puppy again and not listening.
Phoebe Sr:I really shouldn’t have given you the puppy first.
Phoebe:All right I’m sorry.
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-January 12th 1998-
At Central Perk Phoebe with the puppy,Me,Monica and Rachel are sitting on the couch.
Phoebe:My mom’s gonna be here any minute.I can’t do this,I can’t give him up.Yes,no I can.I don’t want to.But I can.No.
Rachel:Oh I can’t watch this it’s like Sophie’s Choice.
Monica:Y’know I never saw that.
Elizabeth:Me either.
Rachel:Oh it was only okay.
Phoebe:Oh I can’t do this.My mom was right.If I can’t,if I can’t give him up then there’s no way I can give up a baby.Oh God Frank and Alice are gonna be so crushed. What,what else,what else can I give em a kidney.
Alice and Frank enter Central Perk.
Alice:Hi.
Frank:Hi.
Alice:Uh we were just in the neighbourhood so…
Frank:Yeah so we just thought we’d stop by and let you know there’s still no pressure.
Alice:None.But if there was something you wanted to tell us we’re just gonna be right over there."Points to the counter".Having coffee.
Phoebe:Okay.
Frank:"See's the puppy".Oh who’s this little guy?!."Grabs the puppy".
Phoebe:Oh.Oh.Um.
Frank:Oh he’s so cute he reminds me of my old dog, Tumour.
Alice:You are so precious I could just take you home.
Phoebe:Hey why don’t you?.
Frank:Are you serious?.
Phoebe:Uhuh yeah.
Frank:Oh thanks.
Elizabeth:What are you doing?.
Phoebe:No I’m really okay with this.Y’know why?.Cause look at them and I made that so…I know it’s gonna be like a million times harder to give up a baby but oh my God it’s gonna feel like a million times better right?.I wanna do this."To Frank,Alice".I wanna carry your baby.
Alice:Oh!,Oh!,Oh!.Thank you so much!.You don’t know what this means to us!.Oh.
Frank:Oh my God I think I’m gonna cry.
Monica:It’s gonna be so great.
Phoebe Sr:"Enters".Hi.What’s going on?.
Phoebe:Oh I-I gave them the puppy and it made them so happy that I decided I’m gonna carry their baby.
Phoebe Sr:But Phoebe…
Phoebe:No,no,no I know but you and I are different people though and this is a totally different situation and I know that I am not gonna regret this.
Phoebe Sr:Oh I-I-I understand all that but it’s just that was my puppy.
Phoebe:Oh!.