-October 16th 1997-
At Monica and Rachel's we are all eating breakfast.Chandler is cleaning out his wallet.
Elizabeth:Hey!.New wallet huh?.
Chandler:Yeah it was time.The old condom ring in the leather just doesn’t say cool anymore.
Monica:Rachel.
Rachel:What?.
Monica:You just put an empty carton back in the fridge.
Rachel:Oh yeah I know but the garbage was full.
Monica:Have you ever taken out the trash?."Hands her the garbage".
Rachel:Well, I thought you liked doing it.
Rachel starts out the door and stops.
Elizabeth:Third door on the left.
Rachel:Right!.
Soon Rachel returns in tears.
Monica:God.If you’re gonna cry about it.
Monica grabs the box and goes to through it out and Rachel tells everyone of her experience in the garbage room.
Joey:Whoa,whoa Treeger made you cry?.
Rachel:Yes.And he said really mean things that were only partly true.
Joey:I’m gonna go down there and teach that guy a lesson.
Monica:Joey please don’t do that.I think it’s best that we just forget about it.
Rachel:That’s easy for you to say you weren’t almost just killed.
Joey:All right that’s it school is in session.
Joey leaves and slams the door and Monica picks up a card from Chandler's wallet.
Monica:My God.Is this a gym card?.
Chandler:Oh yeah gym member.I try to go four times a week but I’ve missed the last 1200 times.
Ross:So why don’t you quit?.
Chandler:You don’t think I’ve tried?.You think I like having 50 dollars taken out of my bank account every month?.No they make you go all the way down there.Then they use all of these phrases and peppiness to try and confuse you.Then they bring out Maria.
Ross:Who is Maria?.
Chandler:Oh Maria.You can’t say no to her she’s like this lycra spandex covered gym…treat.
Ross:You need me to go down there with you and hold your hand?.
Chandler:No.
Ross:So you’re strong enough to face her on your own?.
Chandler:Oh no you’ll have to come.
Elizabeth:And i have work.
I say my goodbye's and I leave as my heart breaks...When will I have the courage to confess my feelings?.
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-October 30th 1997-
At Central Perk Me,Chandler,Monica,Ross and Rachel are hanging out.
Gunther:Rachel?.
Rachel:Yeah?.
Gunther:When's your birthday?.
Rachel:May fifth why?.
Gunther:Oh I-I'm just making a list of people's birthdays.
Ross:Oh mine's December...
Gunther:Yeah whatever."Walks away".
Chandler is talking to Monica and see's a woman.
Chandler:Oh she's pretty.Pretty ah pretty girl the pretty she's pretty.
Monica:Just go up to her and ask her out.
Chandler:"Laughs".
Monica:Oh what's the worst thing that could happen?.
Chandler:I could die.
Ross:Yeah it's,it's tough being single.That's why I'm so glad I found Amanda.
Rachel:Ross you guys went out once.You took your kids to Chucky Cheese and you didn't even kiss her.
Ross glares at Chandler.
Chandler:I tell people secrets.It makes them like me.
Phoebe:"Enters".Oh.
Chandler:Hey.
Phoebe sneezes.
Elizabeth:Phoebe.You're sick you shouldn't play.You should just go home get in bed and stay there.
Phoebe:But I'm unemployed my music is all I really have now.Well music and making my own shoes."Puts her shoe on the table". Pretty huh?."Sneezes".
Chandler:All right I'm gonna do it.I'm gonna get shot down.Any advice?.
Monica:Just be yourself.But not too much.
Chandler:"Gets up".Wish me luck.
Ross:"Loudly".Good luck!.
Chandler:Wish it!.
Chandler goes over to talk to the woman and i drown out the conversation till Joey enters the Cafe.
Joey:Hey!
Chandler:Hey!,Hey,hey,hey,hey.
Joey kisses the woman I heard is named Kathy.
Joey:Hey I see you guys already met huh?.
Chandler:Yes,yes I was just trying to figure out a way to uh demonstrate how I could get my exceptionally large feet into my even bigger mouth.
Joey:Didn't I tell ya?.Always showing off.
Phoebe:Before I start I just wanna say that um I have a coldnso if I sneeze in the middle of song it's not on purpose.Oh except the last verse of Pepper People."Sings".Smelly cat,smelly cat.What are they feeding you?."Stops singing"This chick sounds good."Sings".Smelly cat,smelly."Stops singing".Hey Gunther be a good little boy and bring me a whiskey.
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The next night at Central Perk Phoebe is finishing up her set.
Phoebe:"Singing drunk".My sticky shoes,my sticky-sticky shoes,why do you stick on me,ba-a-by!."Stops Singing".Thanks for the lights honey.
Everyone:Way to go Phoebe!.
Elizabeth:That cold makes you sound so great.
Phoebe:It's fun God I love how sexy I am."Coughs".
Joey:Oh Kath we should get going.We're going to by hamsters.
Everyone:Oh that's great I love those little guys.
Kathy:No,no it's not like that.I-I work for a medical researcher.
Rachel:Well have fun.
Kathy:Okay.
Joey and Kathy leave.
Phoebe:Well I think it's great that the medical community is finally trying to help sick hamsters.
Monica:Y'know what I like Kathy.
Chandler:Oh yeah me too she's so cool and pretty.
Rachel:Yeah she's...
Chandler:She's smart and funny y'know?. We were up all last night talking she said the funniest thing about...what?.
Rachel:You love her.
Chandler:No I don't.
Phoebe:Yes you do.Chandler loves Kathy.
Elizabeth:Come on Pheebs lay off him.
Chandler:Thank you Liz.
Ross:Yeah he's a little sensitive right now cause he's so in love.
Chandler:All right.
I get up and leave the Cafe without saying a word to anyone.
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At Monica and Rachel's I enter the apartment to see Phoebe run into the kitchen with wet hair,open the window and sticking her head outside.
Elizabeth:Pheebs what are you doing?.
Phoebe:Okay I wanna be sexy again so I'm trying to catch a cold.It should be easy supposedly they're pretty common.
Monica:Phoebe you'll catch pneumonia.
Chandler:"Enters".Okay.You were right.I'm in love with Joey's girlfriend.
Elizabeth:What?!.
Ross:Are you serious?.
Phoebe:Well how,how,how is that possible?. You barely know her!.
Chandler:I don't know.I can't I just I can't get her out of my head.Y'know?.I mean I'm a very bad person.I'm a very,very bad person.I'm a horrible person.
The room goes silent and Jealousy builds on my stomach.
Chandler:No you're not Chandler.We still love you Chandler.
Monica:"Sneezes".Oh gosh.Phoebe I think I caught your cold.
Phoebe:You mean you stole it.
Monica sneezes again.
Phoebe:Don't cover your mouth when you do that.
Joey and Kathy enter laughing.
Joey:Hey.
Kathy:"To Chandler".We were just talking about you.
Chandler:Really?!.
Joey:Yeah,yeah I told her about the time you got drunk and fell asleep with your head in the toilet.
Chandler:"Laughs".Right in there."Points".