-September 25th 1997-
Someone entering Central Perk which lets a cat in.The cat then runs over to Phoebe’s guitar case and starts sniffing around.
Phoebe:Oh my God.No.Shoo.Kitty.No,No,no,no.Shoo.Come on you!
Phoebe goes over and picks up the cat.
Phoebe:Come on.Crazy."Looks into the cat’s eyes".Oh my God.
Elizabeth:What?.
Phoebe:Nothing.Nothing.
Joey:What?,What’s wrong?.
Phoebe:I just,I just have this really strong feeling that this cat is my Mother.
Rachel:You mean the mom you met in Montauk.She was a cat?!.
Phoebe:No,no,no she was a human lady. This is the spirit of my Mom Lily the one who killed herself.
Ross:Are you sure she’s in the cat or have you been taking your grandma’s glycoma medicine again?.
Phoebe:No Dr.Skeptismo.I’m sure.First of all okay there’s the feeling...Okay and for another how about the fact that she went into my guitar case which is lined with orange felt...My Mother’s favourite fish is Orange Roughy...Cats....like....fish!."To Cat".Hi Mommy...Oh I haven’t seen this smile in 17 years!.
Joey:"To Chandler".Dude Phoebe’s mom has got a huge peni...
Chandler:Let it go.
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The next morning at Monica and Rachel's we are all eating breakfast.
Elizabeth:So you guys having any luck getting rid of the entertainment center?.
Joey:Well there were a couple of calls last night but ah I don’t think any of them are gonna work out.
Chandler:Yes Joey has a very careful screening process.Apparently not everyone is qualified to own wood and nails.
Phoebe:"Struggling with the cat".Stop it!,Stop it!.She keeps squirming trying to get away.Just like when she was alive.
Ross:So Pheebs how long is your mom gonna be with us?.
Phoebe:Well I’m not sure.I mean I guess until she y'know gets used to the fact that there’s y'know a new mom.Y'know I think she’s worried that y'know she’s gonna she’s gonna be replaced."To cat in funny voice".Well that’s not gonna happen is it?.No."Gets up".Okay I have to return a call in the other room.
Monica:Why can’t you use the phone in here?.
Phoebe:Well I’m returning a call from a certain mom at the B-E-A-C-H....I just spelled the wrong word.
Phoebe goes into Monica’s room.
Ross:So guys am I crazy or does Phoebe’s mom remind anyone of a cat?.
Monica:Ross don’t start.
Ross:Come on you,you can’t tell me you actually believe that,that there’s a woman inside that cat.
Elizabeth:I believe it.
Rachel:Me too.
Ross:No you don’t.
Rachel:Yes I do.
Ross:No you do y'know what you’re not gonna suck me into this.
Rachel:Oh sure I am because you always have to be right.
Ross:I do not always have to be okay,okay."Starts to leave".
Rachel:Jurassic Park could happen.
Ross just smiles and leaves.
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At Chandler and Joey's Me,Joey and Chandler are showing a couple of guys named Tony and Peter the entertainment center.
Tony:Wow.That’s ah that’s pretty nice.
Joey:Pretty nice?.
Chandler:You’ll have to pardon my roommate he wanted to marry this.
I laugh at Chandler's joke and Chandler smiles at me which makes my stomach churn.
Tony:We don’t have 50 bucks but would you be willing to trade for it?.We’ve got a canoe.
Joey jumps up in excitement and without turning around Chandler holds out his hand stopping him and ushering him back into his seat.Joey sits down.
Chandler:Y'know I-I really don’t think we need a canoe.
Tony:You gotta take the canoe!.
Chandler:All right just,just take the entertainment center and then when you get home throw the canoe away.
Peter:We’re not throwing it away.I built that canoe.
Peter starts to leave as Tony chases after him.
Joey:"To Peter".Good for you!.
*****************************************
At Central Perk Me,Chandler,Joey,Monica and Ross are hanging out.
Rachel:"Enters".You guys you’re never gonna believe what I just found tacked up on a telephone pole."Holding a flyer".Look kinda familiar?.
Ross:"Taking flyer".Apparently Phoebe’s mother also goes by the name Julio.
Rachel:You guys there’s a little girl in Soho looking for this cat.I mean you know what that means?!.
Joey:"Looking at flyet".Yeah 200 dollar reward split five ways!.
Rachel:Do we have to tell her?.
Ross:Yes we have to tell her!.
Monica:Oh but it’s made her so happy.
Ross:"Holds up a hand".Little girl misses her cat."Hold up the other hand".Crazy lady thinks her mother is in a cat."Gets up".Okay y'know what I have to go have dinner with my son can I trust that when you see Phoebe you will tell her.
Elizabeth:I-I don't have the heart too.
Ross looks at everyone else.
Everyone:"Disappointed".Yeah.
Ross:Thank you."Leaves".
Rachel:I hate when Ross is right.
Monica:He is right isn’t he?.
Chandler:Y'know what I think this might be one of the times he’s wrong.
Everyone:You think?.
Chandler:Oh no he’s right.
Me,Joey,Monica,Rachel and Chandler sitting on the couch as Phoebe enters with Julio.
Phoebe:Hi."Sits down in chair".
Monica:Hi.
Everyone:Hey.
Joey:Uh Pheebs about your mom...
Phoebe:Yeah?.
Joey:How’s that going?.
Phoebe:So great.Oh we took a nap today and my Mom fell asleep on my tummy and purred.
Joey:That’s so sweet...I’m gonna get some coffee.
Joey gets up and leaves and Monica slides into Joey's place on the couch.
Monica:Huh?.What’d ya say Joe?.I’ll be right there.
Monica gets up and joins Joey and Rachel and Chandler slide into her spot.
Rachel:Pheebs...
Phoebe:I just feel so uh.....
Rachel:All right!.
Chandler:I’m coming already!.
Rachel:Jeez!.
They both get up and I follow them leaving Phoebe alone.
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At Chandler and Joey's Me,Rachel,Phoebe and Julio are consoling Joey and Chandler.
Elizabeth:Wow.They really got you guys.Your T.V.The chairs.
Phoebe:Oh yeah your microwave.The stereo.
Joey:"Looking through a deck of cards".Awe man he took the five of spades.Oh no,no,no here it is.
Monica:"Enters".Oh my God.What happened?.
Chandler:Oh um Joey was born and then 28 years later I was robbed.
Rachel:"To Monica".So how was your date?.
Monica:Well y'know how I always wanted to go out with Chip Matthews in high school?.
Rachel:Umhm.
Monica:Well tonight I actually went out with Chip Matthews in high school.
Rachel:Oh honey I’m sorry.
Monica:No it’s okay not only did I get to go out with Chip Matthews I got to dump Chip Matthews.
Rachel:Oh!.That’s so great!.
Monica:I know!.
Ross:"Enters".Hey!.So ah what did the insurance company say?.
Chandler:Oh they said uh You don’t have insurance here so stop calling us.
Ross:"Seeing Phoebe,Julio".You didn’t tell her?!...Okay fine!.Pheebs?.
Phoebe:Yeah?."Sees Ross".Hi.
Ross:Hi.Listen uh this cat belongs to a little girl.There are flyers all over the place.
Rachel:I’m sorry sweetie."Shows her the flyer".
Monica:Hey we can take her back with you if you want.
Phoebe:Oh.Umhm.But y'know she choose to find me.I mean I have to respect her decision.Right?.
Chandler,Monica,Joey,Rachel:That’s a good call.Right.
Ross:No!,No!.Look.Hey enough is enough. Look I am sorry that you feel guilty or whatever about spending time with your new mom but this is not your old mom.This is a cat!.Okay Julio the cat!.Not mom!.Cat.
Phoebe turns around and puts the cat on the entertainment center.
Phoebe:Ross how many parents have you lost?.
Ross:None.
Phoebe:Okay then you don’t know what it feels like when one of them comes back.Do you?.I believe this is my Mother.Even if I’m wrong who cares?.Just be a friend.Okay?.Be supportive.
Ross:I’m sorry.
Phoebe:Okay.
Ross:I don’t know what to say.
Rachel:You could say you’re sorry to her mom.
Phoebe:I think she would like that.
Ross:"Goes over to Julio".Come here,here,come here,come here...Mrs.Buffay.Sorry, about what I said um it was,it was insensitive of me to say that you were just a cat.When clearly you are also the reincarnated spirit of my friend’s mother.
Phoebe:Thank you.We both forgive you.
Elizabeth:So sweetie what are you gonna do about the little girl?.
Phoebe:Yeah okay listen um Mom I hope you know you still mean a lot to me.And you’re welcome to come back anytime.
Chandler:Pheebs if she could come back as a couch we’d really appreciate it.
Joey:"Nods".
Phoebe:Come on Mom I’ll take you home.
Rachel:I’ll go with you.
Monica:Me too.
The girls all leave.
Ross:Oh.Y'know I’ve got an extra futon.
Joey:Dude you don’t have to brag.We got nothing here.