BROMMY
How amusing. Could it be his behavior is finally catching up with him? I watch, from afar, where in the dark recesses of his temple his true ego tosses heavy books, instruments, and the treasures his whores have given him.
For a long time, I wanted to be like him. I wanted to have everything he had gained.
This, I do not want.
The current of energy radiating from him sends a great wind against me. The clap of thunder, comes from my hand, as I touch the nearby clout. The sound announces my entrance.
"Are you angry at me?"
He brushes off his tunic. Settling his hands on his waist, he raises his chin as if above the new mess in his temple. The marble floors used to be white. The building is brand new and he has dirtied it already.
This will never be a place for Greta.
"I am not angry at you. Thank you for trying, do you think it changed her mind?"
"No. I'm certain I ended up offending her. She threw me out of her chamber afterward when I told her you asked me to do it."
He nods, twisting a strand of his curls nervously. Greta is not the most beautiful. It is about time he gets over one woman. For Ashta's sake, his obsession ended up screwing our entire empire over. Now we are here, forced to rebuild from scratch.
I don't blame Greta.
I blame him.
With an unwavering glare, he approaches.
"She still won't trust me," he chews out. "By the gods, I've given her everything!" His voice rises, clapping across the room, "What have you told her? Don't you think I am not aware you are trying to turn her against me?"
***
GRETA
Everything feels so heavy.
Out my chamber window, I can see a sky full of twinkling stars. If I only I could see their true colors.
Adler has taken away the light. I turn, finding the curtain blocking the entryway parted, behind it, his presence lurks.
"Enter," I say under my breath.
It is too late in the evening for a visit. I watch as he sits on my clout.
"How are you feeling?"
"Not very good," I huff. I approach, watching the celestial light from the window make his skin glow. "Adler, why have you come here?"
His pretty eyes look me over as I settle my hand on his shoulder like a man. He grabs my waist.
"To remind you that you deserve to be loved. I am worried about you-"
"Don't be. I have suffered the worst in silence."
"Why don't you tell me about it? Help me understand, so I can help you." I bite my lip as he lets go of me. It is different watching him undo his robes slowly in the early morning. They fall to his waist letting me see the amount of ink on his chest. "I want to help you care for yourself in this way too. I know...my words have not been sufficient. Let me help you feel better, Greta."
"I don't want to feel anything. Feeling is how I fell further into this mess. I thought you gathered that after yester-evening."
My heart hammers when he lifts me onto his lap. I blush, facing away from him and towards the wall of my chamber. Deep down, I still feel ugly in comparison to him. My arms shake as he unties my tunic.
"I won't make you have a child. There are different kinds of love. I'm certain you do not know so," he says near the side of my face. I can feel his heart beat heavily as he presses his chest into my back. "Do you?"
"I do not want to do this with you," I whisper through tears. I hiccup feeling him lean back.
"You don't? How else am I to convince you that this life is worth living? Tell me."
"It's not. So, I have no answer to give you."
My face burns, shamed by my own stupidity. I should not have turned around but I am already aware he knows what I look like. His eyes swell on my chest before he looks up at my face.
I grit my teeth when he touches my breasts, petting them as though they would feel something from it. They don't.
Sand fills my throat when his hand snakes around me, laying flat on my bare back. A gasp leaves me when he presses me into his chest.
"Be calm, and hear my heart, as you did when you were much smaller. Do you remember? I held you so when you were shrunken and restless in the cool nights. Don't you understand? In the night, the gods let you bloom back into a woman," his voice strokes my skin. I have never heard him speak this way. I can hear the arousal in his voice and I do not like the effect it has on me. "The gods have made me crave you in all ways. They have blessed us with a new empire...I can bring back its light. Of course, I can. This star is healthy, but there is something you do not know. I have taken away its light temporarily. The intergalactic council has come for us. Our race is too powerful to exist. They know of my crimes. They have come, and are already here, waiting just outside this star's atmosphere, to imprison me on planet Juju."
"A planet?" I whisper. Such places are known to be much more dangerous than stars. "Why do you sound so afraid, Adler? You are making me scared."
"You should be scared. They have Enoch's ray gun. The intergalactic council hoards weapons, stealing them from nations like ours, so they can 'protect' us."
I cannot help snuggling close when his arms circle around me. It feels even more emotional when he holds me when I am big.
He stands, bringing me with him.
"Look in the mirror, sweet pearl. Look at how beautiful we are together."
My breath catches as I see us standing together and holding onto each other. Blood rushes to my face as I only now notice that my tunic had fallen to the floor when we stood, leaving me naked in his presence.
"Do not be shy. Look at yourself...and me. It is not every day you get to see your true height."
He remains holding my hand as I step away from him. There is something I hate very much about the prideful way he watches his own figure. How many other women have touched him...and stood by him as I do now?
I look lower, finding no excitement or thrill by his body. As long as he keeps his distance, I really have no reason to cry, but I do.
"It's okay to be nervous. You have been alone most of your life. I have lived much more quicker than you. There is something very selfish about it, I know. You are disgusted by me. There is nothing in this world that will make you understand I love you. Just to be friends will be enough."
"Friends? You are filth to me," I let out in a shaky breath. My blood boils remembering him making Ren moan right outside my bedchamber. "You won't have me."
"I already have, although, it was not in the best place. You remember, don't you? It was the night of Cephine's death when we became one person. For we very much are the same person, aren't we? Maybe I am dealing with my suffering in my own way. I don't want to be addicted to it. Can't you see that? I have broken your heart. Do you think I want to break you? There is no harm in a platonic relationship."
"How can I befriend someone who has already slept by my side? Adler, that is not wise. There is nothing platonic about the way you watch me. You are a man, Adler. You know this. Have you forgotten your addiction or do you take me as a fool, a fool who you wish to use again? You use the word friend only so you can cast me aside until you deem me worthy of use again...like a discarded possession. We cannot be friends-"
A strange breathless noise leaves me as from behind me, he suddenly strokes gently between my thighs.
"I want it to be special for you. We do not have to have sex, but I can still make you feel good," he says. I twist my legs feeling him stroke between my thighs. His arm is wrapped across my torso leaving a smoldering heat in its path. "Tell me what else you want."
I huff, hiding my face behind my hair. My quills emerge, no amount of my will matters. I watch him bravely keep his hand in the area he encouraged them out of. He does not flinch when the ropes of black barbs wrap around his fist...and twirl up his arm leaving a trail of blood.
His chuckle makes me shiver.
"Look how lonely you've been. They don't know I am here with your consent."
"I can't help it. I don't know how they didn't shred up Brommy's tentacle."
"He made you feel safe. Although, I'm sure he was shocked. Shelliv women do not have quills. Don't be embarressed, little pearl. I think they are beautiful."
How can he say that? I watch them return to inside of me, taking his blood with them.
Huge swirls of metallic-looking marks now trace the path they tore into his skin. I can feel the peculiar hard marks with my fingers. It is not flesh-like at all. My quills did this?
"What did they do to you?" I ask.
"This is how our ancestors could decipher each other in the darkness. They are called moon runes. Markings of lovers. How sweet of them to consider me so dear."
He strides in front of me.
"I think I...would like try it."
"Don't worry, little pearl. There won't be any inking," he promises while stroking my lower back. His eyes dilate, hidden partially behind strands of hair fallen in front of his face. "Only feeling."
My heart flutters as he guides me to his clout.
"Let me make you feel good."
On the bed, he crawls over me while his hand roams over my stomach and to my chest while I huff for air against the heavy waves of pleasure. My hips tremble as he takes them in his hands, kneading gently. His hard chest settles over me like hot steam.
"It's okay, sweet pearl. I know, you have not been held so close before."
It feels strange to watch him watching me as his touch returns to my breasts. It does feel very good. Tears fall down my face. He kisses my cheek and pulls away as he decides on laying beside me.
"Come, rest your heart on mine."
I move my chest against his. His heart thuds heavily against my own.
"I wish I was a man, Adler. I'm afraid of being alone. Even as I lay here, I still feel entirely alone," I say quickly while searching his eyes. "I told you so before, I'm just a soul trapped in this rotting corpse. No one will miss me when I'm gone...not even you. So, please let me go. I want to be free."
"I cannot do that."
"Your decision is selfish!" I snap.
"I am selfish. A man-whore as you say. Men have needs too. I do not expect you to understand because you are wrapped up in your ideas and dreams of what should be than what is. But I am sorry," he whispers into the side of my head. "I know you do not want to be a woman. You cannot help it. Tonight may be our last together. That is the only reason I have come to you."
"We cannot do this, Adler. Please, do not touch me or get upset when I do not want sex. Nothing you do or say will change that. You deserve to feel how you wish, but it is my request you seek out your other women for your...physical needs."
"I understand."
But he doesn't. He still gets emotional and then I absorb his emotions even if I don't want to.
His mouth forms into a line as the hem of his skirts begin to ripple. I create distance, moving to the balcony. Death has plagued my mind. No sane person would imagine it everywhere they looked.
"I have never confided so much to another soul. No soul has stayed near to me for so long. You are stronger than me. Smarter than me. All the horrible things you know I have done have nothing to do with you. It's just...me. Our relationship will be whatever you wish."
But I do not want a relationship.
"I can have no relationship with you, Adler. I cannot trust you-"
"Why?"
"You have not been able to help me. What you have done is made fun of me. You do not understand me, at all. It hurts."
"Does anyone truly understand anything from this world? Loosen up, little pearl. You are just not experienced...timid and shy. Rightfully, as I wronged you and I am truly sorry for the amount of times I did. I do not want to hurt you. You are simply...nervous. I do not know why else a woman would reject sex with a man who gives her everything of his time and treasure."
This is him.
He admits to me again my only use to him, and not just him, but the world.
"I hate sex," I ground out. "I regret letting you use me."
"I did not use you."
"Yes, you did. Why do you think I have tried to destroy my body?" my voice shakes. I will not fall to his level. "Death is my dream. Death is my only salvation from my self-hatred. I hate being a woman and every time you touch me it makes me hate myself even more. So do not look at me. Do not touch me. Do not speak to me, ever, again!"
"Maybe I am already a friend. Maybe that's what we have been all along. It's maddening to have this wall between us-"
"Why?"
"I only want to make you happy, Greta. I need sex though and since you do not want to partake in it with me I will continue to use other women."
"I am okay with that."
"You are?"
"It is what you have been doing all along. How can I stop you-"
"Well, I would like to explore what could be with you," he says in a childish way. "I do not understand why you are repulsed by something beautiful."
Beautiful? There is nothing beautiful about his addiction or the act itself.
I don't want anyone to use me again. He already had his chance and it was a terrible mistake.
"This world was made to cater to the needs of a man. You feel insulted when you are refused what history has entitled you to. Whores, slaves, wealth...imagine being given nothing of that. I think I am neither woman or man. I don't feel good with myself. How could I feel good with you?"
"I don't feel good with myself either. How could I? I can see the pain in your eyes...that I created. I had a responsibility to protect you, I could not protect you from myself. It's a miracle you are still here with me," he says in a hoarse voice. "I do not want you to become a memory. I love you."
A storm of frustration swirls in his sparkling silver eyes. I do not think he is lying.
☁️