Ashfall: City of Shade (UNDER EDITING)

Chapter 49 | Puppet

GRETA

Bugs hum outside. I sit up against heavy cloth. Brommy's chin remains tucked over my head.

I don't feel well today.

"Goodbye, Brommy."

He is still sleeping. I want to be alone today. My face burns. He never did come back yesterday. He must have spent yester-evening with a woman.

There's no reason for me to be sad about that. He is a grown man and he is not mine.

No one is mine and they can do whatever they want.

He often does not come back at night. This is not the first, but usually the nights he is away are during ceremonies or celebrations - like last week.

"Good morning, Brommy."

He sits up, newly alert, sleep leaves his eyes as he watches the knapsack tied around my wrist.

"Good morning," he begins. A new edge in his voice arrives as his gaze darts to my knapsack, "Where are you going?"

"To take my pets on a walk."

"Where are you going?" he repeats while sitting up rapidly.

"I'm taking my limpnuts to the market."

"Do you want me to come with you-"

"That's okay. Have a good day."

"What's wrong, Greta? I can tell something is wrong. Are you upset I was out late again? I was only meeting with a few friends to smoke bint. I invited you to come, remember? You did not wish to."

That's because your friends are all women. Of course, I could never say such a thing to him. For whatever reason, women do not like me and I have grown tired of giving friendship new tries with them.

I'm too ugly and strange. Brommy said long ago my brain isn't right either. That the desert may have stunted it. I think he was right, somewhat.

That doesn't mean my intelligence is inferior to his. What intelligence do the whores give him? None. It is only their appearances that interest him and I have no appearance to give.

I'm not pretty like them. I'm something other entirely, neither man or woman. Just like his brother said, I'm something else and something else makes me unwanted.

Whatever the 'else' is I've come to accept it.

It's best to be alone.

"Greta? Are you listening? You're welcome to join me again tonight."

"Thank you, Brommy. I do not wish to go though. I'm going to bathe my limpnuts tonight. Their cages are filthy and need cleaned too."

"Those blasted limpnuts can wait. Surely, you miss socializing with the youth of our age!"

"I never socialized with them to begin with. We are very different, you and I. Solitude makes you squirm. Constricts you. Solitude to me is the opposite. It's freedom. My limpnuts give me company and I look forward to taking care of them."

"Your limpnuts cannot love you like a person can."

"Maybe I don't trust the love of people. Limpnuts do not hurt me-"