And another much belated (this time by only one month) birthday gift, for RubyRed883 . A while ago, she had requested a Kailor AU story: 'Kai is on a dating game show. Skylor isn't one of the contestants but she works there.'
Happy belated Birthday!!!
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Dareth's Dating Disaster
"Welcome to NGTV studios, how may I help you?"
The spectacled lady at the reception didn't even look up from her crossword puzzle as she greeted Kai in a monotonous voice.
"Good afternoon, my name's Kai Smith, and I'm here for the show."
"Which one?" She demanded while entering another answer into the grid.
"Find your Perfect Match, with Dareth Brown." Kai muttered. The one that my stupid friends signed me up for.
"I see." She eventually put the newspaper aside to check a sheet with today's production schedule. "What was the name again? Clark Miller?"
"Smith, Kai Smith. S-M-I-T-H" The spiky brunet spelled out slowly and clearly, as if he had the most complicated name in Ninjago.
"Ah, here we go. Kai Smith. You're on in Studio 2. I'll let them know you're here."
She made a quick phone call, then turned back to Kai. "Chen will be here in a minute to show you around."
Shifting her focus back to her crossword puzzle, she left no doubt that this was the end of their conversation. Kai awkwardly stepped back from the booth and shuffled around. Hopefully, this Chen wouldn't take too long to turn up. Well, hopefully this whole waste-of-time here wouldn't take too long.
"Kai Smith?" The twenty-two-year old turned to the source of the question, to be greeted by a young woman with bright red hair. "I'm Skylor Chen, I've been assigned as your assistant."
Kai's day had suddenly gotten a lot better - at least he would be wasting his time in the company of a beautiful girl.
He gave her his best smile. "Nice to meet you, Miss Chen."
"Oh, please call me Skylor." Kai noted that a light blush dusted her cheeks. "Or just Chen, like everyone else here."
"Skylor it is then." Kai winked at her. "I'm Kai."
"Follow me, Kai."
"What made you sign up for Dareth's Dating Disaster?" She enquired casually as she led him across the campus towards one of the studio buildings.
"Dareth's what?" Kai failed to suppress a laugh.
Skylor gave him an apologetic smile. "Sorry, I meant the Perfect Match, of course."
"I actually like your version a lot better."
"Oh, I didn't come up with it, everyone here calls it like that – except for Dareth and Gayle, that is. They're probably the only two people who believe that people actually find true love on this show." She blushed. "I probably shouldn't be telling you all this, after all you're a hopeful candidate looking for his Perfect Match."
"Ah, it's okay." Kai assured her. "It wasn't actually my idea. Nya, my baby sister got engaged to one of my best friends a few weeks ago, so we went out with a couple of mates to celebrate. At some point-" and after some pints "-my sis decided that I would need a 'plus one' for the wedding and started to ask random girls at the bar if they would like to be my date. It was super embarrassing, so I jokingly asked her why she didn't simply announce it on the telly."
"Bad idea." Skylor giggled.
"Very bad idea." Kai agreed. "But my friends liked it, so her fiancé started to look up dating shows on his phone. Long story short, this one had an online application form, and my friends signed me up right away."
"That's one of the best stories I've heard all summer." Skylor laughed.
"Not if you're the one who has to go on stage." Kai stated. "But what about you? How did you end up working here, if you're obviously not a big fan of the show yourself?"
"Oh, I'm not really working here." She informed him. "I'm just doing an internship with NGTV at the moment; it's a requirement for my MSc program in Media and Communication."
"Sounds exciting."
"I wish." The redhead sighed. "They just move me from one lowly assistant position to the next. The most interesting thing I've learned is how Cliff Gordon likes to drink his coffee."
"You've met the Cliff Gordon?" Kai was impressed. "My friends, especially my future brother-in-law, are some of his biggest friends."
"If you still need a wedding present, I can give you the recipe." Skylor offered, using her swipe card to open the door to the studio building.
Kai winked at her. "Can you add a used coffee cup?"
"I-"
"Ah, Mister Smith." The conversation was interrupted by a brunette woman who enthusiastically greeted him. "I'm Gayle Gossip, the producer. It's such a pleasure to meet you. We absolutely loved your application."
"Uhm, lovely to meet you Ms Gossip." Kai replied, faking excitement. "I am very excited to be here." From the corner of his eyes, he saw Skylor struggling to suppress a giggle.
Gayle checked her watch. "We're almost ready to go. Dareth is just meeting the other contestants right now – one of whom will become your Perfect Match – so let's get you ready first before you talk to him, okay? Chen will take you to the make-up artist."
"Make-up?" Kai sighed inwardly; if his friends found out, he surely would never hear the end of it.
"Don't worry, they usually just use some concealer, plus a bit of powder to mop up sweat and shine." Skylor assured him.
"And ask them to use some eyeliner." Gayle requested.
"What's wrong with my eyes?" Kai wondered. Usually, people would admire his unique shade of amber.
"Nothing, they're absolutely stunning." Skylor smiled. "That's why she wants to bring some attention to them."
"Thanks." Kai blushed. "You're very beautiful as well. Uhm, I mean, you have very beautiful eyes as well."
"Thank you. But blue eyes really are not that special."
"Oh, don't say that to my sister. That was the first thing she noticed about her boyfriend. 'Argh, that guy is so annoying, he just doesn't know how shut up, but have you seen his eyes? They look just like sapphires.'" He spoke in a high-pitched voice.
"Awww, how cute." Skylor giggled. "But my eyes for sure don't look like gemstones. When I was a kid, my friends used to call me Ariel, the little mermaid."
"What's wrong with her?" Kai asked. "She's lovely. Blue eyes and red hair."
"And a tail. Plus, I'm not a cartoon character." Skylor claimed. "Anyway, here we are. Have fun." She winked at him as she ushered him into the dressing room.
"Not too bad." She winked at him when he was finally done.
"I guess so." He had to admit, the soft bronze eyeliner did work well with his eyes.
"We'd better get going. Gayle's just texted me, they're already in the studio, waiting for you." The assistant explained.
"Wait, I thought I was supposed to have a chat with Dareth before the show?"
"No time for that, you'll just have to go with it."
In the studio, Kai was quickly introduced to the host while getting fitted with his microphone, and then it was already time for-
"Welcome to Find your Perfect Match with Dareth." The show master announced to the camera. "That's me. But you already know that, of course." He chuckled. "Each week, I help one desperate single find their true love, and this week, I will play cupid for- KAI."
"That's your turn." Skylor gave him a nudge. "Go, get them, hotshot." She blew him a kiss.
Blinded by the spotlight – and maybe slightly distracted by her action – Kai stumbled onto the stage, accompanied by the applause from the – actually real – audience.
"Kai is a blacksmith from the lovely village of Ignacia." Dareth introduced his candidate. "He is twenty-two years old, has two younger siblings, and his hobbies are inventing, model building cooking and poetry. And his favourite colour is blue."
"Wha-" Kai gasped. Then, realisation hit him. Jay. In his drunk state, his friend must have entered his own interests into Kai's application. The idiot was just lucky that Nya loved him so much...
"On the other side, we have three lovely ladies who will each try to convince Kai that she is his Perfect Match. Please welcome – Chamille, Seliel and Harumi."
Kai watched with great interest as the young women joined them on the stage.
Objectively, Harumi was the prettiest out of the three, with her green eyes and the light blonde – almost white – hair in an elegant bun. But Kai couldn't shake off the feeling that there was something weird about the short girl. Chamille was equally short in stature, she had messy purple hair, bright red lips and a wild expression. Finally, there was Seliel. The tall pink-haired woman towered over the other two contestants, and Kai couldn't help but notice that that she was the only one who actually spared him a smile.
Being too occupied coming up with possible punishments for Jay that would not also affect his wife-to-be – Kai was fairly certain that Nya would want to have kids at some point – he didn't pay much attention as the girls' backstories were told to the cheering audience. But, of course, he couldn't avoid them forever.
"Kai's Perfect Match should of course share some of his interests, so we have asked our three contestants to write a little poem for him. Chamille, would you like to go first?"
"Roses are red, tulips are pink, my hair is purple, and my roller skates stink." She declared proudly.
"Lovely." Dareth commented enthusiastically over roaring applause. "Thank you very much, Chamille. Seliel," he then addressed the pink-haired girl, "You're up next, please."
"I travel in shadows, I fight the bad guys. I'm a Ninja not a poet, so this doesn't rhyme at all."
"Very creative." Dareth nodded appreciatively. "And finally, we have Harumi."
"Spider's in the house, Sleep Sleep. Spider bit the mouse, Sleep deep. Don't wake up or else, You'll find a spider in your mouth."
"Oooh, how mysterious." The show host gasped. "Thank you. I am sure, as a connoisseur of the fine art of poetry, Kai has very much enjoyed all your works. Now, onto the next task – he may not look like it, but our friend here has a dark secret."
The brunet furrowed his brow in confusion. What 'dark secret' could Jay – the seemingly sweetest and most innocent person in all of Ninjago – have possibly hidden from Kai (and, more importantly, from his fiancée)?
But it all became clear when Dareth dramatically announced that 'he had been a student at Darkley's School for Bad Boys.'
Apparently, it hadn't been just his future brother-in-law who had completed the application. Lloyd, Kai and Nya's adoptive younger brother, must have contributed some details as well.
"So, here's my question for our three contestants: What is your dark secret?"
Again, Chamille went first ("I was arrested for identity theft."), followed by Seliel ("I build smoke bombs in our basement."), and then it was finally Harumi's turn.
"I am the head of a criminal biker gang." The blonde grinned evilly, causing Kai to choke.
"Cut." Gayle yelled. "Chen, get him some water." She ordered the assistant who immediately rushed to Kai's aide.
"Where do they get their candidates from?" Kai whispered to Skylor, after finally having recovered his breath.
"Mmh." She smirked, tapping her chin. "From what I've heard, some of them went out drinking and ended up being signed up by their friends."
"Drunk friends who didn't even get the facts right but entered their own details instead." Kai emphasised. "I never went to Darkley's, my favourite colour is red, and I don't give a f– uhm, I don't care all that much about poetry."
"I figured as much, you looked like you were about to burst into flames." Skylor snickered. "What do you care about?" She wanted to know.
"Just the usual, I guess. Spend time with my friends and family. Play video games with the guys. And I do-"
"Alright, everyone back to their places." Gayle instructed the crew and candidates, much to Kai's dismay. He would have much rather continued his conversation with the funny and charming redhead.
"We now come to our third round." Dareth told the audience. "Our popular Match-3 game. In his application, Kai has given us a list of his 'favourites'. We will now ask the same questions to our three contestants and see which of them will have the most in common with him. Question one, what is your favourite food?"
Seliel's immediate reply – "cake!" – claimed this point, suggesting that the answers to this section of the application had been provided by Jay's best friend Cole.
Nobody shared Cole's favourite colour, orange (Harumi's way of answering with "blood red" sent shivers down Kai's spine), or but it was again the pink-haired woman who scared with her favourite kind of music (soft rock).
"Now, for our last question. What is your favourite kind of exercise?"
Hearing Skylor burst out laughing from behind the stage, Kai could feel his face heat up. Which embarrassing answer had his idiotic friends (and quite possibly future ex-friends) provided for this question...
"And we have another match!" Dareth cheered. "Like Seliel, Kai also enjoys practicing Martial Arts, in particular Spinjitzu."
Relieved, Kai released a breath he hadn't realised he was holding. Not only had he been spared public humiliation, but for once, this actually was his own favourite.
Not just his though, for Kai had met all his closest friends – Jay, Cole as well as Zane – at the Dojo belonging to Lloyd's (biological) uncle Wu.
"Which means we have a winner for this round." Dareth declared. "Seliel and Kai share the most favourites – but remember, this can also cause arguments over the last piece of cake."
He took a deep breath. "Which brings us right to the grand finale. Kai, a romantic candlelight dinner at a very expensive restaurant is awaiting you and your Perfect Match tonight. Which of these wonderful ladies do you choose?"
Kai looked at the three young women. There really was only one option. While she wasn't exactly his type, Seliel at least seemed nice, and maybe he could introduce her to Cole. Those two seemed to have a lot in common. But speaking about his type... Kai briefly turned his head to glance at his newest friend. Skylor looked... disappointed.
He grinned. "I actually have one final question, and I will choose the person who gives me the correct answer."
"How exciting." Dareth exclaimed, while lots of 'ah's and 'oh's could be heard from the audience. "That's something we've never heard before. But then, this is why our wonderful show never gets boring. So, what is your question?"
"What is-" Kai spun around in his seat so that he was now looking directly at her directly. "-Cliff Gordon's favourite kind of coffee?"