Sid stood in the chicken joint. The better part of an hour was spent in the last two businesses. One was the laundromat she hated. Half of the washers and dryers were always out of service. She wondered many times before how they managed to stay in business with everything in such disrepair but now she knew. The employees eyed her for a while before shuffling her to a room with moist pipes stretching overhead and the thick scent of a gas station restroom tugging at the nostrils.
They grilled her about why she was there instead of Phil. The last thing she wanted to do was waste precious time convincing these people that she wasn't the cops, but was instead being held hostage and controlled just like they were. The only thing that stayed her patience was reminding herself that these were just people who probably set out with the humble intentions of running a family business. Not expecting Kru to guerrilla it away from them. After a random family member vouched for seeing her around the way with her kid they let her make the drop.
The process repeated at the hair supply store only it took much longer because of the language barrier between her and the Korean store owners. She was not making any headway until the one random black girl who worked in the wig section tucked in the back of the store called Bomb and he gave the OK. Exhaustion nestled in Sid's bones by the time she made it to the chicken joint. Through the glass, she saw a few customers milling about waiting for orders. She lumbered through the door and sank onto the familiar wooden booth shoved on the corner and waited for the place to clear out a bit.
If she closed her eyes she could see Aiden sitting across from her, his lips curled into a smile as he tried desperately to make her laugh through a veil of sadness. For the first time in a long time, she wished it was just like that again. She threw her head back and stared at the ceiling. She understood now. This is what he was talking about. That void that she was walking around with wasn't just for her dad. It was for Aiden. Her mother, and her youth. So much was banished to nothingness after her dad died but yesterday she had reached in there and pulled something out. Her and Aiden had begun to repair something. It gave her hope that the other things could heal as well.
She heard the door close and opened her eyes. The place was empty. She made her way toward the bulletproof glass that spanned the entire counter.
"What can I get for you?" The same older dude greeted her, but this time a lot less sweaty and agitated. A younger version of him moved around in the kitchen behind him, dropping another bag of fries into a basket before submerging it in sizzling oil.
"I'm dropping off something for Kru." She whispered, listening for the door to open again. She was wired and anxious. Her senses could pick up a bee landing on a flower five blocks down at this point.
"Kru?" The guy was instantly suspicious, following the script of everyone else. "Why are you here? Where's Phil?" his voice got louder as if he suspected this was some prank show with cameras around. Sid saw his son's movements stop in the back.
"He... can't come. So Kru sent me. Look, I just need to give you this and go." Sid pleaded with her eyes for him not to make this difficult. Her body was tired and her mind was scrambled. She still had one more drop to make after this one and then she still had to figure out a way to drag her ass into work this evening. She needed this done.
"No, I don't take anything from you. Only Phil."
"Come on, man." Sid felt her body sag and tears prick her eyes. Should I tell him that there will be no more Phil if he doesn't take the goddamn bag? Sid flirted with the idea of screaming at him but it seemed futile. She could see that his son had made his way around to the counter from the kitchen eyeing her suspiciously and speaking in fluent Arabic to his father. A groan escaped her throat. She really didn't want to be told to go away in two languages. After some back and forth between the two the Father held up his hands and proceeded to the back while the son stepped over to her.
"Let me see." He asked gently. Sid slid the backpack off her shoulders and undid the zipper. The crisp bills gleamed when the bright bulbs overhead hit it. He peeked inside and soon his shoulders slouched when he saw what was inside.
"This from Kru?" He asked. Sid nodded trying to look as genuine as she could. He released a deep sigh. "I thought he stopped this shit."
"I'm sorry," Sid said as she reached in and handed him a portion of the cash. She wasn't sure what she was apologizing for but it felt like she needed to say something. Say something to acknowledge that they were all a part of this unfortunate world of Kru's making. It was the only thing that brought them all together. Being in Kru's grips somehow. She knew what it felt like to have his mark on her life and was saddened to see the mark he left on others. First her dad, and then Phil, and now this parade of business owners whose American dream had turned into a Brooklyn horror.
"It's my fault." He quickly stuffed the cash into a paper bag and tucked it into a space under the counter.
"I'm sure it's not. Sometimes we end up in shit that we could have never imagined." Sid reassured him and herself at the same time. He nodded, his eyes analyzing her.
"I remember you. I'm Ahsan."
"Sid." She was wary of telling her his name not knowing exactly how or why he remembered her but her manners took over in spite of her. Thankfully Ahsan continued.
"When I was younger you used to come in a lot. I'd be sitting back there doing my homework. I didn't see you for a long time." Sid looked at him fully for the first time. She remembered him too. Tucked behind the counter on some days, always reading. He grew up in this place just like he did. His long beard letting her know that a lot of time had passed but most things had not changed.
"Yeah, I went away to college."
"I figured. Even though it doesn't happen much around here. I'm trying to do the same." An image of the old guy fending off a long line by himself the last time she was in here crossed her mind. She recalled the father telling Phil about his son taking a test for college.
"You're in school though?"
"Yeah, just passed my MCAT's."
"That's...wow, congrats." Sid looked around. This seemingly normal conversation happening under such stressful circumstances. Life never ceased to amaze her in the way that it could be desperately dire and yet worth celebrating.
"I guess. It's why this," He gestured to the bag he tucked away beneath the register, "is my fault. Dad linked up with Kru to pay my way through undergrad. He slipped him some extra money and offered him protection from the thieves. I got grants for medical school so he doesn't need to do this anymore. But Kru doesn't let people walk away." The way he said it with such defeat made the bottom drop out from beneath her. She looked toward the back at Ahsan's father and imagined him tumbling to his death.
No. Kru did not let people walk away. Her rage flared. It would be possible to walk away with the last bit of cash left in her backpack and never look back. If Kru wanted to kill his own brother over it...so be it. If she could get over the death of her father then she could mend her heart over the loss of Phil.
But I have I gotten over it? Sid thought. She was never one to play tough. She wanted Kru gone. For him never to be able to hurt anyone again. But if that came at the expense of Phil's life, or anyone else's for that matter, she wasn't willing to do it. The door to the restaurant open, ushering in a warm rush of air and a group of rowdy teens. Sid secured the back on her back, as she turned to head out of the door she stopped and looked back to meet Ahsan's gaze.
"Make sure when you get away from here you don't come back. Okay?"
Ahsan offered her a meek smile and a shrug. "It's home."—Sid chewed on his statement as she made her way to do her last drop. Her watch let her know that she only had two hours before she had to be at work. No more chit chat and bonding over woes.
Ten minutes ago she typed the name of the business into Google maps and had it direct her. The address was on a residential street that she passed a million times. Sid read the description. A Daycare offering services for children 6 months to 4 years old. Sid rolled her eyes and pitched her body forward to keep from turning around. Doing a drug money drop in front of the innocent eyes of children was the last thing she wanted to do today.
The red Do Not Walk symbol allowed her a moment to pause and allow her body to catch up with her thoughts. Like a stubborn dog on a leash, she'd been dragging her tired body through this entire ordeal. She didn't allow herself to stop from the moment Kru confronted her two days ago. Partly she was terrified that if she stopped moving, stopped acting, the nerves would settle in and refuse to leave. Being busy kept her from falling to pieces.
The sign changed over to a glowing white stick figure and she continued down Park Ave under the Brooklyn Queens Expressway. Being sure to avoid the part of the sidewalk where the thick slabs of pavement were cracked beyond repair. She'd tripped and scuffed her knees on that rough patch of concrete so many times, her legs ached as she skirted around it. After a sharp left on North Portland, she made her way toward a row of low bricks houses across from an elementary school and playground.
It's a nice place for a daycare, Sid thought. Halfway through the block, she arrived in front of a house with brick the color of a somber ruby. A stark white sign with the smiling faces of little children below a dancing animated sun. It screamed 'kids'.
Sid passed by the potted flowers leading to the front door and stood for a moment before pressing her finger against the doorbell. Chimes sounded throughout the house. Flip flops smacking against a floor inside before the door swung open. Sid's breath paused.
"Sid?" Chante asked.
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